Stories Based On Taylor Swift Songs

LOVER: 109. Death By A Thousand Cuts

109. Death By A Thousand Cuts (10/15/20)

Nadine took the subway home, her face down. She felt a few people's eyes on her, but she didn't bother to look up at them. Instead, she listened to her music and waited for the subway to reach her stop.

A lull in the music caught her attention. They must've gone through a dead zone, cutting off the song she was listening to. Nadine looked up, her eyes scanning the other people on the subway. She was drawn to a couple sitting a few seats over, curled up next to each other. The man had his arm around the woman, and the two laughed about a joke Nadine couldn't hear.

Something bubbled up inside Nadine until she lost all hearing and could barely see the couple anymore. She and Jaxon had been just like that, a few months prior. He had ended things, not her, which is why it probably hurt her more than it hurt him.

Overwhelmed by the couple, Nadine got off the subway two stops early, deciding to take the long way home to her apartment. She walked up the steps as the music flickered back on. Out on the street, taxis zoomed by and people pushed past her to get down the subway. Nadine wasn't fazed.

She walked down the street, trying to wrap her head around the emotion that had caused her to leave the subway early. Something about seeing the couple together made her want to cry. "If she wasn't happy, no one could be happy," was her thought as she waited at the intersection. She looked up at the traffic lights, which switched from red to green in an instant. In her mind, Nadine asked the traffic lights what was happening to her. They didn't reply.

When it was Nadine's turn, she crossed the street and made it to the other side of the block, where people ate outside, talking amongst themselves. She was met with an onslaught of other couples, enjoying the sunny day and the food they had ordered. Nadine couldn't walk past them fast enough.

After a long walk, Nadine reached home, kicked off her shoes, and threw her jacket and bag onto the table. She threw herself on the couch, a glum look on her face. She thought about watching television or attacking her weekend assignments, but she didn't have the energy.

There was one activity that was particularly tempting, but Nadine had promised herself she wouldn't resort to it. But desperate times call for desperate measures. She pulled out her phone, turned off the music, and looked up Jaxon on Instagram.

The two had dated for almost a year, but he had broken it off two months ago. Nadine had met him through a dating app, and the two hit it off with their similar childhoods and music tastes. As she searched for his profile, Nadine tried not to dwell on the past relationship.

Then she found it. After the breakup, she had unfollowed Jaxon, but his profile wasn't private, so she could see all the new photos. He had only posted one picture in the span of two months; it was of him and another girl. They were standing in front of a lake, fireflies buzzing around them as the sun set in the distance. The girl was dressed in a red and white bikini, and Jaxon was shirtless. Nadine tried not to stare at the picture too long.

The caption read, "Summer nights with Ash!" He hadn't tagged the other girl in the photo, but Nadine was an expert at online stalking. She went to Jaxon's list of followers, and found a girl named Ashlynn. Ashlynn was the same age as Nadine, and was a model and aspiring actress. Nadine had to stop herself from rolling her eyes and reminded herself that Jaxon had broken up with her. Probably because he wanted to spend all his time with Ashlynn instead of her, but that was beside the point.

Nadine turned her phone off and got lost in thought. Her mind drifted to the day everything had ended. Jaxon had invited her over for dinner, and she should've picked up the hints. They always went out to eat, and the only times Nadine went to Jaxon's apartment was when she spent the night.

He had cooked fettuccine alfredo for the two of them, along with a side salad and cold breadsticks. Nadine remembered sitting across from Jaxon as he told her the news: he wanted to see other people. Her first thought was that he was cheating on her, but he had denied the claim right away. At least he was courteous enough to break up with her before moving onto Ashlynn.

"You're breaking up with me?" Nadine had asked, dropping her fork on her plate.

"I'm sorry, babe," Jaxon replied, trying to grab her hand but failing. "I really wanted to make this work, but I don't think it's going to. I had a great time with you, okay?"

Nadine had not appreciated the sentiment. You have a great time visiting a friend from college, not a year-long relationship. She had grabbed her things, thanked him for dinner, and walked out. Jaxon had the nerve to follow her all the way to the subway.

"Nadine, I'm sorry if you're upset!" He had yelled, in front of the beggars and passengers. "I didn't want it to end this way."

"Why does it have to end?" Nadine heard herself ask.

When Jaxon didn't answer, she said, "I guess this is goodbye."

Thinking about the breakup brought tears to her eyes. It had happened two months ago, but it felt like just yesterday she was riding the subway back to her apartment after Jaxon broke the news.

Nadine curled up into a ball and let the tears fall down her face. They soaked the pillows beneath her, but she didn't mind.