Can I love you?

Hurt

Your pov:

In the last five months a lot changed. My mother told me before that she meet someone and first I didn't want it but then I decide to meet him for my mother. She deserve to be happy again. He comes with his daughter who is 10 years old, to us and we all eat together. He was very kind and she was it also. At the beginning i didn't think that it can work but now five months ago Henry and his daughter Olivia. Also that she is eight years younger then me she is really nice. She like the most thinks I like and so we often sit in her room or mine and talked a lot. I've never think that it can be so good. I expected the bad things and closed my eyes for the good ones. Henry act also with me like I am like a daughter for him. It was weird and he also told me that he never can replaced my real father but he will try to help me and he said that no matter what is I can go to him and talk with him if I don't want to talk with my mother. She was happy. He makes she happy and she deserve it a lot. Sometimes I sit there on the stairs and look at them when they are in the garden, seeing how lucky they are. I know five months listen like a short time but in this him a lot can change.
Nick tried a few times to get me back but I told him that I don't want because I didn't love him anymore. And with Lisa, we talked again and she apologized how she reacted and I hugged she. I know we both have not ever the best time but she mean a lot to me, our friendship mean a lot to me. I told her that I broke up with Nick because I meet someone other who let me feel things I've never felt with him before and she understand. But I still not told her who it was. I was afraid how she will react when I tell her that this person is our English teacher Miss Howard.
Billie and I didn't get so much time together then. Her husband was home and so she also. Sometimes we was out in the cinema, eating or just out who we are sure that there is no other student who can see us together. I liked she a lot and it begins that I can't imagine me a live without her. But I know I have to.
I said her that she can sign the divorce, that she is free from her husband who hurt she and more, but she don't want to do it. I can't understand she. I was here to help her no matter what comes. I hate it to see the bruises on her soft skin who he hurt she. But she didn't want me to help her, she was so stubborn. I know she will never divorce and I hurts me. I cared a lot about her, but I don't really know if she do the same about me or what she feel about me. What we are? Is this just a affair or more?. I ask me the question a lot on the day and more when we both lay naked together in her bed.
I love the feeling of her skin against mine, her lips on mine or just her company. But I also know that once the day will come that this all go away.

I didn't want to get hurt more but it was also difficult to don't be with her.

Then I meet Emma.
One day in school I was on my way to my classroom as a girl run into me. Ironic, because something like this happens a few months before with Billie. But no here was other students around us. I stopped and looked at the girl in front of me and she also looked at me. I've never saw she before so I fidget out that she is new here. I smiled at her and a so she did also. In this short moment I can't keep my eyed from her. Still Billie in my head. I helped her up and give her my hand that she take. "Thank you" she say with her sweet voice. "No it was my fault I didn't give so much attention" I smiled shyly bag. "Are you new here?" I ask she. "Yes and I didn't know where my classroom is" the girl said. She was a bit taller then me, have curly middle brown hair and brown eyes. "I can show you, do you have your timetable yet?", "yes here" she give it to me and our hands brush slight against each other. Her hands are soft. I think and start looking at the plan who I hold in my hands. "C'mon I know where you have" I say and she answer with a smile.
That is how I meet she. I give her my number and she me hers. She was really funny and after this we start writing. Billie was not often in the break and I was not often with her. I search always a reason why I can't meet she. And so it was that I not going often to her room in the breaks. The breaks I was often with Emma and some with Lisa. When I was with Emma it feels good and I felt save but there was a different when I was with her. But often when I just look into her brown eyes I saw Billie. She was always in my head and I try to find a way to get she out there.
I don't want to be hurt anymore and I don't want to see she hurt anymore. Not only allows to kiss she after school when we are sure no one can see us. Or when I am not with her, that she is with her husband and the things they do. I want she as mine and only mine but I know that  wouldn't ever happen.

Today in English I know that she looked at me but I can't do this anymore. The last weeks I tried to fidget out what I want and what it mean for me. But what I want and what it means are two different things. I want she but it means that she have do sign the divorce that she don't want and she is my teacher. When someone know what we do, then she lose her job and maybe more and that is one point that I don't want for her. I also don't want to hurt her but I see no other opinion here to end it before someone end it.