Can I love you?

What happen?

I make my way to Billie. I am happy that I remember the way. 

I also hope it is okay that I am earlier then 6.pm, and I am also sorry for my mother, she didn't deserve this #, she deserve so much more. 

After some minutes of walking I reach her house. light is shining through the windows from the kitchen so she is home. I don't know the car from her husband, just her car and it was here, and it is the only car, so her husband is still not there. But still I don't know why she stay with him...

I go to the door and ring on the bell. A few seconds later the door open and the beautiful blond woman stand in front of me, with her cigarette box in her hand. Her eyes widen a bit as she saw me, but also a smile across on her face. Oh god how much I love this smile. "I'm sorry I an to early" I almost whisper. "It's okay sweetheart" Billie say and grip my arm soft and pull me inside of the house.  "Do you want to drink something" she ask with her soft voice and walk into the kitchen. "No not now, thank you" I answer and placed my bag on a chair. I open them and take the grey sweatpants and the shirt out she gives me the first time I was here. "You cried again" she spoke as I give her the things. "No" I say, not want to annoy she with my problems. "Did he hurt you?", "no" she say and empty her glass. It was a silence between us after this until she break them. "But I am not the one who lie now" she say cold and raised her eyebrows. "I didn't lie to you Billie", "you did and you do it again"  she looked at me with her brown eyes. How she know it?. "Your eyes are red and puffy. Now sit and tell me what happens in school and home" . "I don't want to annoy you with my problems. We are not together so". Fuck why I said this!. "You're right we are not, but I am your teacher", "we are not in school here" I say angry. "You didn't told me that you broke up with Nick", "I don't have to tell you everything in my life", "you right but I want to know. Some say it's because you sleep with someone other" she say and filled her glass again with wine. "This is my thing. Not yours", "I just want to help you". Her look in her eyes changed, it was different as before. So cold. "You can't help me. A person who need help by herself can't help other", I said without thinking. Silence, just silence. Billie looked at me and I at her. My eyes are filled with tears and also hers. "Billie I-", "tell me what happens" she just say and look at me. Her eyes look glassy.
I don't want to start crying agin in front of her. Not again.
The blond stand up and comes toward me. I don't know if I should still standing there or move. I don't know what I want roght now. My head was empty, I can't think all what I know is, that I am here with her and that I can't stop thinking about she. She comes closer and stand now in front of me. Her hand stroke a strand of hair out of my face, behind my ear. As her hand comes in contact with my cheek I feel so overwhelmed with feelings. A single tear roll over my cheek. "I-I just get the feeling I destroy everything","what do you mean?" she ask her hand placed on my shoulder. "As I was younger my parents have a big fight, sometimes my father hurt me and much more. My mother doesn't know it until she comes home earlier and he was angry and drunk..." my voice cracked. "With Lisa, she was angry because- because I broke up with Nick". I start to sobbing and want to push her hand from my shoulder, but her grip get stronger. I look at her hand and then in her eyes.
I can't help but when I look in this eyes I have the feeling to find myself in them again. Like that before I lose myself and then when I see her brown eyes I find it again. She pull me closer and hug me. Her one arm wrap tight around my waist and her other over my shoulder. My face hide on her shoulder against her blond hair and her hand over my shoulder stroke my back. It ever feels so warm when I am with her and I've never want to leave this. I just want she with me and don't want to hide this all. But the question is what we are. Is is more then just sex or not?. The thought to have to leave she or to not can feel she against me bring me the tears near. "It's okay if you want me to leave, or that you leave me. I understand it. It's okay, they all do" I say against her shoulder and more tears roll over my cheek. The truth is I don't want she to leave me, but she will do it once. They all do. "I am not the other, and I don't ever want to leave you." Billie spoke. It's true she is not like the other but every one will leave once and then it happen. Or I make something wrong and she will leave.

Does I get more the feeling I falling for her?...

Maybe...

Billie's pov:

She told me about her past and with Lisa and Nick. She want to leave but I don't wan't she do. I want that she stay here with me. Then (y/n) say that it's okay if I want that she leave or I leave she. But I don't want to and also not she, just have the change to see she in school give me the feeling my heart broke. But she is my student and if someone will know that I have  a lot of problems. And when I say I would leave my husband they would ask me why. No one know what he do, no one just (y/n). First he was really kind and sweet but that all changed. I don't really know why it changed but there was nothing anymore between us. I placed a kiss on (y/n) forehead and say her I will never leave she. Because I don't want to. Since a long time ago I feel things for someone, but I shouldn't, this all was not right but it feels so right.