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"Use both hands, Em."

"I can't. The fingers on my left hand are sore from violin."

I pick up my phone, pretending like I'm gonna snap a picture of Emery sucking my dick. "Don't..."

"Just for me."

"Brandon, please don't..." he whines.

"Okay, okay..." I drop my head back with a languorous sigh, toes curling. "You're amazing," I praise when I've spent myself inside his mouth.

I start an Instagram story poll with the question: 'Should I get Emery's name tattooed on my dick?' The responses flood in by the minute. Yes. 100%. No. 0%. I'm even getting DMs like, pics or you chickened out.

"Brandon, that sounds painful..." Emery worries his bottom lip.

"I have to do it, Em. This is the oldest democracy in the world. Majority rules, and the majority is saying to do it."

"Isn't that gonna be a little off-putting to your girlfriends?"

"You think when I take my pants off a bitch is gonna squint her eyes to read five little letters? She's gonna throw herself on me at the speed of light. You can't read what's up your cunt or in your mouth."

Emery draws his hand wearily over his face, no doubt mulling over the litany of reasons why agreeing to this deal was a bad idea.

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