Slowly I turned over in bed so I was facing him.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were awake,” he whispered.
“Aston I’m not trying to keep secrets from you,” I sighed. “I just don’t want to hurt you…”
“Hurt me how?” he asked, staring at me.
“I don’t know…”
“What was that phone call about babe?” he asked again, gently stroking my cheek as a stray tear fell. I couldn’t keep it from him any longer, it was eating me up inside.
“I got a job offer,” I whispered.
“Oh…” he said, his face falling. Just as it had three years ago when everything had become clear with my Mosley job. “Where?”
“With RedOne,” I said slowly.
“Babe that’s amazing,” he whispered. I could tell that he was trying to fake some sort of happiness. That inside he was gutted because he knew exactly where this would lead us.
“I mean it’s flattering that they want to work with me. I’d be an idiot not to take the offer,” I replied.
“Can we not let this fall apart like last time?” he asked after a second. “I don’t think I’d be able to survive if I had to let you go like that again. I’m way too gone on you to be able to function without you. There really wouldn’t be a point to anything anymore.”
I just lay there and stared at him. Why was it that this boy always managed to say the sort of thing that instantly melted my heart?
Slowly I reached out my hand to stroke his face, “You’re too good for me,” I said quietly as he leaned his face into my touch.
“I’m not,” he insisted.
We laid there for a while, just staring at each other.
“When were you going to tell me that you’re moving to New York,” he asked out of the blue, rather bluntly.
“I…”
“I just don’t understand why this had to be such a secret,” he continued, clearly somewhat upset about all of this. “You know you’ve got my support one hundred percent. Yeah maybe I’m a bit gutted that we’re going to have to try and do this long distance, but…”
“Ast,” I said after a minute, “Shut up.”
“But…”
“I said I would be an idiot not to take the job… but I never said I took it.”
“I don’t understand,” he whispered.
“I’m in love with the man of my dreams, the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So yeah, maybe I am a little foolish, but I’m also happier than I’ve ever been in my life. So call me an idiot,” I said confidently.
“Whaa?” he asked, clearly still confused.
“I didn’t take the job you moron,” I laughed.
I watched as about a hundred different emotions crossed his face in just a matter of seconds. He went from confusion, to shock, to anger, to happiness, elation and finally giddiness.
“Babe!!!!” he laughed, pulling me towards him and laying all sorts of kisses on me.
“Wow don’t act so upset,” I laughed as his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.
“I could tell it was all a bit of a front,” I said with a cheeky smile. “I knew you’d be absolutely gutted if I left again. There is no way in hell that I’d put you through that all over again. Or put myself through it, was too hard the first time. Broke my heart…”
“Are you sure about this though?” he asked sincerely. “I mean, if this is something you really really want, I can’t stop you. We can make it work.”
“See this is why I wasn’t going to say anything," I sighed, slipping slightly out of his grip so I was lay back beside him, on my back staring up at the ceiling. “Catch 22 isn’t it? Either hurt the one I love or miss out on this opportunity. I figured if I just kept it quiet we wouldn’t have to talk about this.”
I watched as Aston smiled faintly, grabbing for my fingers under the covers. He played with them for a minute before turning to face me and speaking again, “Right lets do this,” he started. I stared back, confused. “You tell me, right now, exactly which option you want. Don’t think about me, don’t think about anyone, but you and your music. Which is it?”
“Ast…” I said.
“Just get it out and then we can move forward.”
“It wasn’t even a hard decision,” I sighed. “It took me listening to you laughing at that stupid iPad game to know exactly what I wanted.”
“Which is…”
“Stay.”
“You sure?” he asked.
“One hundred percent, not a doubt in my mind. As soon as I heard you laughing at that stupid game my mind wandered off to my studio, I wasn't even listening to what RedOne was saying on the phone. In that moment I knew that one, I loved you more than anything and didn’t want to try and work out a long distance relationship or risk losing you, and two that I actually love my little studio. Maybe it hasn’t been the smoothest road, trying to be an independent producer, but I’m sort of in love with the challenge it’s set forth. I couldn’t imagine selling my studio, moving away and starting all over again. Or having to work as part of a big team when I've been doing so well on my own. It was pretty easy to tell him that I’m staying put where I am.”
I turned to look at Aston who was grinning away. "I love you so much babe," he whispered, grabbing me under the covers and pulling me on top of him while covering me in kisses.
"I love you too," I mumbled against his lips as he flipped us over so he was on top of me, running his hands up my shirt in an attempt to pull it off.
"Good!" he grinned as he pulled his lips away from mine. "Now help me get your shirt off."
"Why?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You'll find out..."
