HOT CHOCOLATE

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LISA

I was mopping the bathroom floor of Mr. Smith when his whole family was screaming at the living area and calling out my name. I got nervous because I thought something happened to them.

"Lisa! Lisa! Come over! Oh my God!"
Mr. and Mrs. Smith with their children sound excited.

What is it?

"Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Any problem?"
I asked. The whole family ran towards me and hugged me tight.

"Congratulations! We are so proud of you!"
They said and they're in tears.

They pointed the TV screen where my name is as the topnotcher on the bar exam result.
My eyes widened.

I worked hard for it!
God. You just don't know what I had to go through!

My tears of joy fell and the family embraced me again.

They ordered food to celebrate and even wired me a huge amount as their bonus gift!

I have been working for them as a cleaner once a week as one of my part-time jobs. It's been a year since Jennie and I broke up and I really tried to fight my emotions just to get this spot on the bar exam.

I worked in another firm as a clerk again when I decided to leave my old job.
I needed to have part-time jobs since I'm renting a small room apartment and it is too expensive.
I clean three homes once a week on my day off.
Also working as a food server and cleaner in a fast food chain after my shift from my regular job.
I am so lucky that the family owners are so good to me. But at the fast food, I experienced a lot of bullying and discrimination because I'm Asian.
There was a time that a white guy threw his drink on my face because I served a wrong order. It was not even my fault. I was just following instructions from the cashier. From that day on, I double check every order.

I cried so many times.
because of loneliness. I miss my family. I miss Jennie.
I miss our relationship. But what hurts more is every time that day I found out she's pregnant with another guy flashes on my head.
It made me lose my self confidence. I became really shy to other people, thinking that I am so low and small.

But every time I think of my parents' situation and my brother's medical needs, I go back to grind and work harder.
I also think of making Mr. and Mrs. Kim proud of me. Even Jennie and I are not together anymore, I still talk to them and I really felt loved. They even attended my graduation and both of joined me on stage to receive my diploma and medals when I graduated from Law.
We never talked about Jennie. They respected my pain. And I love them so much for that.


Jennie.

I still think of her. Every night. Every day.
I am worried if she gets to eat healthy meals especially now that she has a baby inside her tummy.
I wonder if Ji-yong took responsibility.
Is she having her regular check-ups?

I don't know what crossed my mind when I started to bring food at her doorstep every week. I always do it carefully as someone almost caught me. Maybe it was her helper.

I am still in love with her. Of course.
Just imagine you had this one woman who made you so happy just by falling in love with her and making her as your goal. You studied so hard because the thought of marrying her someday and having a family with her inspired you.
Then it all vanished because of one mistake.

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