MANAL

51: Manal

I hurried into the room and plopped right into my bed and squealed. "Yessssssss! Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!"

My day had gone incredibly well. It wasn't as maladroit as I thought it would be. I'd admit that at first, things were really awkward between Jawaad and I, but as we got to spend more time with each other, I loosened up—I felt more relaxed. Plus, he had a way of making me speak up.

"Do you want us to work out?"

His question kept on playing in my mind, like a mantra. I still couldn't believe we had that conversation. I honestly didn't see it coming. I never knew he was that serious about me, until he mentioned it.

"Yes...I do."

Heat rushed to my cheeks, as I recalled the answer I had given him. I felt goosebumps rising on my arms.

While I gave him my response, I couldn't bring myself to look at him, for I felt I would end up spurting gibberish.

The moment the words completely left my mouth, I knew there was no going back. Even before he made his intention known to me, I had already given my whole heart to him. I had given my heart to him, but I managed to control my emotions around him, because I wasn't sure if he felt the same way about me then. And the last thing I wanted, was to seem desperate to him—I wasn't.

Jawaad coming all the way from Abuja just to see and have a talk with me physically, proved to me that he held me in high esteem and was indeed serious about me, but a part of me was still skeptical. No matter how hard I tried to shrug off the feeling, my effort was futile. Everything seemed too good to be true—everything was happening way too soon for me. It wasn't as if I didn't like it—of course I did. I was grateful that my feelings were reciprocated, but then again...

"Stop this, Manal!" I hit myself on the forehead and groaned. "You're just overthinking!"

"Who are you talking to?"

Hala's voice startled and made me hit my head against the bunk. "Ouch!" I winced.

"Why did you get startled?" She eyed me; suspicion evident in her tone and facial expression. "Are you hiding something from me?"

This is your chance to tell her everything, Manal. Stop being a coward and do what's right!

"No!" I rushed out the word. "Of course not. Why would I hide anything from you?" For the first time in a long time, I couldn't believe the words emerging from my own mouth. I took a moment to think things through. Why was I hesitating to tell the truth to her? Was I afraid of her? Afraid of Hala?

Hala shook her head. "I don't believe you. Tell me what you're hiding." She stood in front of me, almost daringly.

Do it, Manal! Prove to yourself that you're afraid of her.

I sighed. I had made up my mind to tell everything to her. I knew in my heart that I wasn't afraid of Hala. I definitely wasn't. I would say, I was just a really considerate person. I knew she would be hurt by my Revelation, hence the hesitation. I didn't want to lose a good friend.

"What?" Hala sneered.

"What?" I threw her question back at her.

"It looks like you want to tell me something, but you're hesitating." She furrowed her brows. "I thought we had passed the stage of keeping secrets from each other. Well, it's your choice." She shrugged. "Don't tell me."

"Hala, wait." I stopped her right before she could walk away.  "It's about.." I sat up. I still didn't want to tell anything to her, but knowing it was the right thing to do, I threw every other feeling out of the window. "It's about Jawaad."