Chapter 11:The person I wrote to
The night passed, leaving the pitch black sky decorated with shining stars and moon to meet the freshness of the morning wind blew from the calm sea, infesting the land with the cold breeze. Inside a room by the seaside, two body entangled together inside a safe cocoon of the warm thick blanket, one with the significantly smaller body curled into a ball with another bigger body cuddling him from behind with his big strong arm draped on the smaller man, squeezing him closer, with the smaller man's back leaning against his muscled bare chest, nose nuzzling into the soft black hair owned by the sound asleep smaller man in his tight embrace.
His eyes fluttered open, revealing the soft dark hair he'd been nuzzling unconsciously. The warmth spreading in his embrace combating the cold breeze seeping through his bone. Ryker pulled the blanket to cover his body altogether with Allison's subconsciously shivering body, pulling him into a tight hold.The smaller man suddenly moved, pulling away from the other's embrace and changed his sleeping position into one that faced the one already awake. Soft breath indicated the steady rise and fall of the pale white chest beneath the white shirt that he still wore. Slowly, he raised his right hand, tracing down the smooth pale skin of the deeply asleep man, warming the cold cheeks that reddened out of the freezing early morning.
Staring at the alluring serene face in front of him, his eyes fell onto the cherry pink inviting lips that parted slightly like it was calling for his own lips to kiss the sweet lips. Carefully, he moved towards the unconscious smaller man, placing his lips on the soft intoxicating lips. His hand traced down the curve of the smaller man's slender waist to the ass, grabbing it slightly as he made the smaller man frowning in his sleep caused by a disturbed sleep. The hand moved down to the to the smooth silky skin of the small thighs exposed when the shirt was accidently lifted up when Allison moving about in his deep sleep, Ryker's lips still didn't stop kissing the sweet lips of the sleeping man. Seeing the Allison didn't even stir in his sleep, he knew that maybe he'd been pushing Allison too much over his limit last night, his heart swell seeing the dark circles formed under the sleeping man's eyes, marking the exhaustion taking place on the small fragile body, seeing him working hard to satisfy the other's lustful desire despite the tiredness that claimed him earlier making him lost consciousness in the middle of their first real love making with Ryker.
After giving the last peck on Allison's lips, he finally pulled away, eyes soften seeing that Allison still in deep sleep. He traced the smooth hairless jawline of the sleeping man, fascinated with how pale his skin was until it almost transparent when the moonlight hitting his skin. The appealing white skin befitting the androgynous look, making the gorgeous thick eyelashes highlighting the small slightly pointy nose with the bewitching heavenly stunning pink lips, altogether making him a very magnificent exquisite person Ryker ever met in his life that could make anyone fall for him if Allison himself tried to be more open of himself. Softly caressing the apparently reddened cheeks, Ryker thought of how their relationship had developed. From the moment he met Allison, he hated him with his life. But when he knew him more, the more he fell for him. It had been a long time since he called Tasha or met her. It was like he completely forgot about her every time he spent his time with Allison.
He didn't know what made Allison appeared so dazzling in his eyes. No matter from his small gesture when he touch him or embarassed at every little things that he did. Everything seemed so appealing to him. It made Allison seemed special. The way he spoke, the way he acted, the way he responsed, it looked like Ryker had known him for years. Every little things that he did seemed familiar to him and he never knew the reason why. He still didn't know much about Allison other than he never gone to any vacation all his life, which really shocking for him, and the pictures of their wedding day showing the scared Allison that he still couldn't forget since the day he saw the pictures.
He realized that he knew nothing of Allison's past or background other than he was the only son of the Constantine couple. Like he said before, he never saw Allison all his life even though he used to go to Constantine's house. Allison too, never exposed himself to him like he wanted. Sometimes, he did wonder why Allison kept asking him to let he keep his shirt every time they had sex. He glanced at the stirring Allison, snapping out from his thought as he saw the big blue orbs slowly opened themselves, looking at him in haze.
"Hey." Ryker spoke up, still caressing Allison's cheeks unconsciously.
"Hey." Allison replied, blinking tiredly as he looked at Ryker's face."What's the time now?" he asked out of daze.
"Still early, go to sleep." Ryker said, pulling Allison closer to him as he wrapped the blanket all around both of them to block the coldness that started make them trembled.
"M'kay." Allison said, rubbing his eyes lazily before closing his eyes again, snoring in exhaustion. Ryker had to smile at athe cute gesture, kissing Allison's forehead before resting his chin on Allison's head, nuzzling his nose again into the soft dark hair that he would be sure,someday, would become a bad habit of his, enjoying the sweet strawberry scented shampoo Allison loved to use. He wrapped his arms all around Allison's small body, cuddling him as he started to drift off again, all the questions that had been swirling inside his head before were forgotten just like that. He closed his eyes with Allison's head resting in the crook of his neck, finally asleep, dreaming the dream thathe'd been forgotten for years, dreaming of the day he always wanted to forget, the day he felt betrayed, the day where a promise was broken, the day he waited at the alone, there.
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"Morning!" Tay came, bursting into their personal swimming pool area behind Allison and Ryker's room that faced the sea, followed by the smiling Kristina behind her.
Allison who was currently holding onto two glass of ice water for him and Ryker fell backward as he was pounced by Tay that was not so small for a woman. Fortunately Ryker who had a good reflex, managed to catch Allison before he fell but just let the water fell on the floor accompanying Tay that already fell on the hard floor. Kristina just laughed mischieviously behind, thinking the fall suited Tay as the punishment for pouncing onto anyone as she liked without considering the person's current situation.
"That hurt ~~~~" Tay whined as Kristina helped her to her feet.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you hurt? You want me to take you to the clinic?" Allison asked, panicking as he tried to help Tay before Ryker grabbed his upper arm, pulling him away from Tay.
"Suits you." Ryker said, pulling Allison that kept apologizing for something that was not his fault again to sit on the nearest chair.
"So mean~" Tay whined, pouting like a baby as she casually took a sit in front of Allison.
Ryker just ignored her and sat beside Allison, unconsciously curling his arm around Allison's waist, pulling the smaller man to lean against him. Allison blushed at the small gesture but managed to calm down as he didn't want Ryker to notice his awkwardness, it would be really embarassing, plus they were already married, any intimate touching supposed to be usual to him unless it would be so weird if Ryker initiated the moves himself since he already told Allison that he didn't want anything to do with him.
"I don’t know you and I don’t think I wanna know you. "
Allison suddenly reminisced the first day they met, realization hit him. Ryker never thought that he wanted him.
"We will pretend in front of people though, just acting for a bit."
It would be all an act so that Tay and Kristina would never suspect anything. So, they would never suspect that behind all his smiles and laughter with Ryker were just an act to cover up the loveless marriage he was in.
"Just a child.It’s not so hard right? Do you get it?"
And for Ryker, he just need a child to break the oath made between the two family and then he would be free again.
He lowered his head, glancing at Kristina who was busy cleaning up the mess he made. He pushed Ryker's hand slowly and moved towards Kristina, helping her.
"Allison, you don't need to do that. Come back here." Ryker said as soon as Allison started crouching to pick up the pieces of the broken glasses.
"It's okay. It also my fault for being so careless." He said, didn't even give a glance at Ryker.
He didn't know if his heart managed to take it when he looked at Ryker knowing that Ryker would never love him no matter how much he would ready to sacrifice for him.
"Stop it, Allison. Let me do this and Tay, stop whining and help me." Kristina said, looking at the still pouting Tay sitting in the chair.
"It's okay, I-" Allison started but stopped when he heard a sigh behind him.
His eyes bulged in shock when he saw Ryker's hand beside his, taking the glass from his hand and continued to pick the glasses off the floor. He looked at Ryker with his big blue eyes.
"What? I don't want to take you to a clinic because you hurt yourself for being stubborn." Ryker said as he realized Allison was staring at him. "Sit there." Ryker commanded and being allison, he just mumbled an apologize after being startked by the sudden order and just walked away to sit with Tay as Ryker and Kristina continued to clean the place up.
"You're really an idiot, you know." Kristina said, mocking him as she saw Ryker's beet red face as soon as Allison walked away.
"Shut it." Ryker hissed, glaring at the smirking Kristina.
He didn't know he would fall so deep for someone he vowed would never love.
He really an idiot.
He knew he had fallen for Allison but he couldn't make himself to express it the right way. With his cold demeanour, it always made Allison uncomfortable, always pulling back everytime he was about to open up. His ego always became an obstacle for him to be honest with his feelings and told Allison what he really felt. He didn't want to admit his feelings to someone that he promised he didn't want to know at all. That was what made him holding back but he knew, unconsciously, he felt drawn to Allison without his free will. It was like he had fallen for Allison long before he met him. And that would be ridicolous.
All the things that happened, why he became so stubborn, so egoistic, so cold was because of a reason. A reason that since a long time ago he tried to forget, tried to buried the feelings down but as soon as he met Allison, those feelings resurfaced again, making him confused for what he had vowed on the fateful day when he was betrayed by the only one he ever fall in love with. He promised that he would never fall in love again and then, he broke his promise, only for someone he barely knew for just a few months.
"Stop thinking, idiot." Kristina said, flicking her fingers on Ryker's forehead.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Ryker asked, feeling his dignity had been scratched by just a flick of fingers on his forehead.
"You had this constipated face shown like you've been thinking so hard over your limit." Kristina said, taking the pieces from Ryker's hand and threw them into the dustbin. She glanced at Allison who was currently listening to Tay's stupid jokes and giggled timidly every five seconds like he never heard a joke before in his entire life which literally, he didn't. Smiling at them, she glanced back at Ryker who just stared at the sea in silence.
"You know, feeling is hard to explain." She started, walking towards Ryker. Ryker turned his head to her, looking at her with no emotion put across his face."Love is more complicated." She continued, Ryker's brows started to knot slightly. "But it will be a bliss if you just ket yourself fall in love." She said, looking back at Ryker.
"What do you intend to say?" Ryker asked coldly.
Sighing, Kristina started, "What I'm trying to say is, everything will be complicated if you complicate it with your feelings since feelings really are complicated but since we live a simple life, just make it simple, fall in love and enjoy the feelings to be loved. Not everyone had the opportunity to fall in love, furthermore, being loved. So, when you fall in love, just accept it as it is, don't try to run away." She turned her face to Ryker."Love him before you loose him." She finished.
They stared at each other for a long time before Ryker finally sighed."Betrayal was not something I can forgive." He said and walked towards Allison.
Kristina just watched him walked away before she sighed too, staring at the blue sea,"It's because you're too afraid to forget." She whispered to the wind.
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"Why here?" Ryker asked, annoyed as Kristina helping Tay to put more charcoal on the grills.
"Because your room has a big balcony and facing the sea. It would be a very beautiful scenery." Kristina said nonchalantly.
"I don't want it. Get out of here." Ryker said, walking towards both Kristina and Tay with a very annoyed look on plastered on his face. Kristina just looked at Ryker who tried to intimidate her as Tay just continued to set the fire on the grills."Now." Ryker said, gritting his teeth as he was totally annoyed for having his personal place always been 'attacked' by these two annoying felines.
"Awww...Ryker, how could you be so mean. Allison is really looking forward to have a barbecue by the sea." Kristina said, smirking like a devil as she looked at the startled Allison who was suddenly mentioned in the argument. She knew she had won when Ryker stopped with a halt, glancing at Allison. Allison just stared at Ryker and Kristina who was raising her eyebrows trying to tell him some weird body language communication thing that he would never understand because he was socially awkward, before he started to open his mouth.
"I-it would be nice if we have a barbecue. I-I never had one before." He stammered.
Kristina smirked at that and turned her eyes to Ryker. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Bitch." Ryker mumbled, "Fine, a barbecue then." He said, walking away from Kristina and took the lighter from Tay's hand and light the fire up, glancing at the stunned Allison and Tay, "Well, hurry up." He said and with that Kristina's smile turned genuine as she walked towards Allison, patting him softly on the head.
"You're a lucky person, Ally." She said, walking pass him to take the uncooked fishes, squids, prawns, meat and everything that she had prepared a night before with Tay.
Allison looked at her in confusion, holding his head, "Ally." He snapped out of daze and moved towards Ryker who called for him.
They continued the barbecue with Ryker did all the cooking and grilling while Tay was forbidden to do it since she accidently burned half of the meat black. Allison helped Kristina prepared the iced lemonade and served them on time when most of the meat had been cooked. Tay who pouted for being forbidden to cook earlier finally lightened up when she get to eat a lot of meat Allison didn't want because he didn't eat meat. It went on and on with Tay pouting every 5 minutes and Kristina saying things that annoyed Ryker for an unknown reason and Allison who worked really hard to persuade the sulking Tay. Tay started to dance when Kristina turned on the radio, pulling Allison to dance along with her. Ryker just laughed all the time when he saw Allison's awkward dance, moving timidly with face red in embarassment before Ryker finally decided to step in and teach him to dance. Taking Allison's small hand in his hand, he started to jerk him towards his chest, enjoying the satisfaction of having the beet red Allison clutching onto his shirt as he swirled around with Tay and Kristina doing the freestyle dancing.
It was a long night and they surely ate to the fullest, tired from dancing for too long. It was the first time for Allison to dance and even though it was awkward for him but he still loved to do it. He felt like he'd been set free and no burden weighing him down. When midnight finally came, the four of them just sitting leisurely, enjoying the cold breeze as they finished the remnants of the meat and the lemonade.
"Why don't we tell stories?" Tay suddenly spoke up.
"No." Ryker and Kristina said in unison.
"But why~?" Tay whined again, expecting Kristina and Ryker to fall for her pouting trick which only Allison who would definitely fall for it.
"Because you will tell nonsense." Ryker countered, sipping his lemonade as Allison kept apologizing for Ryker's straightforwardness.
"Why don't we tell of our first love?" Tay said, beaming in excitement.
An unexplained expression flashed upon Allison's face but no one had noticed it.
"Let me start first!" Tay said, jumping up and down like a hyperactive feline she was. "Alright, my first love is when I was 15. He was my best friend at the time and we used to spend our time together no matter when, at school or outside, even at my house or his house. We always together and one day when I was 18, I confessed my feelings to him but he kindly reject my feelings because he had fall in love with someone else but I still love him until now even though as a friend. He just got married last month and his wife is soooo pretty! See?" Tay said, showing a photo of the guy that he liked and his wife in her smartphone. Everyone took a look at the photo even Ryker who initially didn't show any interest in the story.
"What about you?" Tay asked Kristina, putting her phone down.
"Well, mine is a lot simpler." Kristina started, inserting another meat into her mouth, chewing it. "And mutual." She continued with her mouth full.
"Tell us then." Tay insisted, excited to listen Kristina's story.
"I met him when I work for the flight to Paris 2 years ago. He is a bartender in a bar that I go to with my colleagues. We drink our ass off that day because it woukd be the last day we would be in Paris and it was late night when we decided to go back to our hotel. Unfortunately, there was a stinky drunken ass motherfucka who just grabbed my arm like he owned me outside the bar and I was like, 'What the fuck?', and just hit him across the face but he was too strong. He was a lion shifter and my friend couldn't do anything at the time. When he was about to harass me further, that bartender came like a knight in shining armor, punched the drunken guy once and the guy stumbled backward. He was an alpha, a dragon shifter and when the guy saw his eye, he just ran for his life. I want to thank him and offered my money but he decline my offer and said that he just did what he think was right that was when I fell for him. I gave him my number and even after that, we still contacting each other, and he is my fiancé now." She finished her story with small smile curved on her lips.
"You said it was a lot simpler. What's so simple about that story?" Tay asked, grimacing.
"At least, he becomes my fiancé." Kristina replied, ignoring the shock flashed on Tay's face.
"Excuse me, you bitch-" she started. "You?" Kristina asked Ryker, looking straight at him as she completely ignored Tay. Huffing, Tay turned her attention to Ryker.
Allison looked at Ryker. He knew Ryker's first love was Tasha and if Ryker wanted to tell their love story, he would be glad to hear it as long as Ryker was happy but then he saw it. The pain shown on Ryker's face. He waited for Ryker to continue, curious to know the person who could give Ryker an pained expression like that.
"Come on, Ry. Tell us." Tay insisted.
Ryker stared at Kristina for quite some time before he started to spoke up.
"It was three years ago. When I was 24. Tasha and I just broke up at that time because she cheated on me, again." He started. Tay and Kristina were listening earnestly to Ryker. "And I was walking alone at the park when I saw a paper fell in front of me. Curious, I took the paper. I read it and to my suprise, it was a letter, written, to no one. I read the letter written a big dream of someone to be set free from his cage. I felt like it was too metaphorical to write this life as a cage but the one who wrote that letter manage to give me a reason to appreciate my life. It was said in the letter that happiness is for everyone no matter who you are." Ryker said. Allison's eyebrows began to knot themselves together as his heart started to beat faster.
"And then?" Tay asked anxiously.
"And then a bird came, attacking me. I thought maybe the bird was the one who brought the letter. I didn't know if the bird brought his owner's letter or just stealing it. I gambled on my fate at the time and wrote on a plain paper that I've read the letter and I want to know the person who wrote the letter more. And then I tied it at the bird's leg. I don't think that my luck would be so good when the same bird came to me the next day when I was alone at my secret place when I need some time alone." He continued and Allison could feel that he began to sweat in anxiousness. His eyes didn't leave Ryker's face for once, waiting Ryker to finish his story.
"And?" Kristina was the one who asked this time.
"Almost everyday, I kept writing to this person and waited for the bird to come bringing the reply letter. I'm having a good time writing letter to this person and reading the letter that the person sent to me. I never met him but I feel like I know him. He told me a lot of things about himself but sometimes I feel like he doesn't exist. He kept refusing to meet me." Ryker said.
"Wait. He?" Tay asked.
"Yes. He was a male. A wolf shifter, he told me but not an alpha like me. He didn't tell me what he was and I didn't want to push him further." He said, looking pass at the deep blue see shone by the moonlight, making it glittered beautifully.
"After that? What happened?" Tay asked, eyes bulging in curiosity while Kristina's face turned serious in an attemot to hide her mountaineering curiosity. No one noticed the tears that had been pooling in Allison's eyes. He knew what it meant. He was Ryker's first love like Ryker was his first love. He never knew his love was not just one sided love. He felt happy. He could tell Ryker who he really was. He could tell him how much he loved him. Finally, he could tell Ryker how happy he was for having Ryker remembered him like he always remember Ryker all the time.
He was about to open his mouth when Ryker continued to speak. "But now, I hate him with all my life." He said and with that Allison felt like his heart stopped beating, his world turned dark as he listened to Ryker resumed his story.
"Because of a broken promise. I hated him with my life." He said, didn't bother to turn to see the stunned face of Tay and Kristina, looking at him without saying a word. Allison lowered his head, trying to control the wave of emotion churning inside him. His tears almost fell from the corner of his eyes as he could feel his heart crumpled like a piece of paper.
"That day...... I waited for him. The first time he said he want to meet me. I waited for him all day long but he never came. I waited the next day at the waterfall, the secret place I told him before. But he never showed up no matter how much times I spent waiting for him. After a year waiting for him, I finally gave up and never go to that place again as it will bring the memory of him there. I get back with Tasha but still, I hate him for making me fall in love, giving all of my heart to him for him to broke it like it was nothing. If I ever saw him....... I don’t know........I don't know what to do." Ryker finished.
All of them just sat there in silence.
The long night ended with a heartbroken love story caused by a single misunderstanding and it broke all of their heart especially the one who bear the burden, Ryker, the one who chose to never believe in love again and Allison, the one who held a great burden of his dark past and unconditional love towards Ryker.
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