A/N: I'm sad today so here u go
Primrose's POV:
Today, Harry was having a Capital radio interview regarding the album and his tour coming up in a few weeks. I had the radio playing behind the bar whilst I served customers, waiting for 3pm to approach. In a weird way, I was nervous for him. The amount of pressure he must hold to know millions of people are listening to him is too much for me to even begin to comprehend.
The minutes slowly ticked down, and my excitement only grew. Harry doesn't know I'm listening - it's a surprise. He told me to focus on my work today, because the radio interview is work for him, and he doesn't want me to worry about his job. I told him he was completely, utterly right, and I will spend today only focusing on my job, which, he believed.
Angel came skipping through the front door with two coffee's I'd sent him to get, his hair blowing in the slight summer breeze. "One decaf mocha." Angel placed the cup down in front of me, standing up proudly like a little boy who'd completed a chore for his mum.
I watched as he pulled open a stool at the bar, and began scrolling through his phone. The lines on his forehead deepened as his eyebrows furrowed heavily over his eyes, creating a sour expression. Angel huffed in frustration, as he slammed his phone down on the bar and took a long sip of his coffee. His harsh frown soon melted away into a scrunched up ball as the boiling liquid burnt his mouth. "Fuck sake." He mumbled to himself, hanging his tongue out his mouth like a dog to cool it.
"What's got you all huffy?" I query, taking the lid off my drink and blowing on the dark brown liquid. Angel scowls at me as if I was mocking him - which, I was slightly - before sitting up and brushing his hair from his face.
"Stupid Phoenix." He begins, rolling his eyes to himself because the sheer mention of this name made him disgusted. "Won't stop messaging me after the date we went on."
My breath heaves out my mouth down onto my coffee, splatting the hot drink all over Angel as I fail to hold back my laugh. "Phoenix?" I say as composed as I can keep, grabbing a napkin and passing it to Angel. "That's... interesting."
"Don't give me shit about his name, Primrose." Angel scolds, snatching the white square of tissue from me and dabbing his skin. "Ugh! My tans going to go patchy." Angel complains, holding his arm up into the natural light to see the small splats of natural skin showing through his fake tan. "I think his name is unique."
"What was wrong with your date?" I change the subject, securing the lid back on my drink. Taking a small sip, I raise and lower my eyebrows at Angel, bragging that I didn't burn myself.
"The date was amazing." Angel says simply. "It's what happened after the date."
"What happened? Did his big, Phoenix wings get in the way of you hugging? Or did his beak make kissing extremely painful?" I tease, taking another innocent sip of my drink.
"Does Harry's constant, busy schedule and fame make it difficult for you to spend time with him?" Angel spits, locking his eyes dead on mine.
I take a small gasp of shock in, feeling all the colour drain from my face. My eyelashes batter against each other a few times, trying to block out the tears forming quickly. Angels comment hurt, a lot. I know I was making fun of him, but I thought it was all just fun and games. I swallow harshly, pushing down the lump in my throat and I watch as Angels face becomes concerned.
"Primmy, I'm sor-,"
"No, it's fine." I brush off the situation, not wanting to talk about it anymore. "Tell me about Phoenix."
Angel looks at me for a few seconds, almost debating to himself if he should continue with his story. "Well..." he says hesitantly. "I walked him home, and we were outside his house, and he was like 'do you want to come in?' So I did, and when I tell you this man's house looked like the planet of shit from E.T!" Angel laughs, "I was like 'oh, darn it. My boss just called - I have to do an early shift tomorrow.' And then I swiftly departed from the premises."
"Angel, you shouldn't judge someone from their living situation." I reason, taking another sip of my drink.
"Mmhm, yes I can. I can and I will." He argues back, crossing his arms.
As I went to respond, my ears chimed in to the radio again. Flicking my eyes up to the clock, I saw that it was 3:01pm. "It's time!" I squealed, turning the volume up.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. You join me on Capital Radio, at 3:01pm, with today's, final special guest, Harry Styles!" Roman Kemp introduces, and I can hardly contain myself as I dart over and take Angels hand in mine.
"Hello!" Harry blurts out.
"So, Harry. What you been up to lately?" Roman asks.
"Well, I just got back off a holiday." Harry begins, and I almost die at the mention of something we did together.
"Oh, I remember you telling me about this a few months ago! Tell the listeners about it." Roman continues, and suddenly I'm overwhelmed with nerves again. Nobody knows Harry and I are dating, so, is he going to tell the whole world on radio about us, or is he going to lie? Angel squeezes my hand in reassurance as he notices me breathing slightly heavier.
"I went travelling around North Africa for 2 months, and it was amazing." Harry answers shortly, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
"Did you go alone?" Roman questions, and my breathing is now heavy again.
"Uhh... yes." Harry lies.
"Really?" Roman begins. "Because, I saw a paparazzi photo of you kissing someone - a girl - in the airport." He says, and I immediately shoot my head to look at Angel. My heart begins pounding against my chest and my eyes stay so far open they could fall out of their sockets. Angel tried to keep himself composed, but based on the way he tightened grip of my hand from the mention of paparazzi, he was scared too.
"I- uhh, well, err..." Harry stammers.
"Who is she?" Roman continues, not phased by the fact he's possibly outing Harry and I's private relationship to the entire world.
"Really putting me on the spot right now, Roman." Harry laughs awkwardly.
"This girl seems very special to you, based on the way you're simply looking at her. And you look extremely happy to be kissing her... is she special to you, Harry?"
"No. It was only a kiss." Harry answers quickly.
At that very moment, the entire existing world around me crumbled. It was just me: staring out into the abyss, falling yet also frozen in time. In this place, nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn't matter. My existence didn't matter. It was as if my life was merely a concept, an experiment, a creation, that's creator was Harry.
It was only a kiss - he said.
Meaning, I, was only a kiss. Everything we'd been though together, could be summed up into only being a kiss. The way he was so quick to jump upon it, the way he answered a statement that wasn't even given to him. He could've just said 'she is special to me, all my friends are.' - that's a pretty good coverup. Or, 'she's just a friend.' because that seems like a good cover up too.
But, nowhere did Roman mention anything about what the kiss meant. He asked if I was special, in which Harry replied with 'no.' I'm not mad about Harry covering up our relationship, I expected it, however, hearing him say that I was 'just a kiss', hurt.
It hurt a lot.
The ache in my heart was like none I'd ever felt before. It was a deep, strong, constant pain, making me want to tear into my chest and pull it out. I felt so diminished, so small. So worthless. Like this whole time, I haven't meant anything to Harry. Inside, I know that isn't true, I know I mean something to him - I have to. But... why does this hurt so much?
"Primrose." Angel whispered, pulling me away from the engulfing darkness.
When I looked at him, I felt the stream of silent tears that were pouring from my eyes invading my cheeks. I felt my hand shaking in his hold. I felt my heavy breath hammering against my lungs as I struggled for oxygen, yet was surrounded by it.
"He didn't mean it." Angel says quietly, taking the napkin I gave him and dabbing some of the tears away from my face.
I nod in response, stopping crying for a few seconds and freezing in breath to try and compose myself. However, when my ears chimed in to the mumble of Harry's song now on the radio, my nod turned into a head shake. My lips trembled from the pressure of not crying, as tears began to fall from my bloodshot eyes yet again.
Peeling my trembling hand away from Angels, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. Blinded by tears, I slowly tapped in my password and found Harry's contact.
I took a deep breath, in attempt to steady my shaking, as I began to type a message.
***
Harry's POV:
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. You join me on Capital Radio, at 3:01pm, with today's, final special guest, Harry Styles!" Roman Kemp introduces me, catching me off-guard completely.
"Hello!" I blurt out, holding back my laughter as I shake my head at Roman.
"So, Harry. What you been up to lately?" He asks, leaning forward on the desk.
"Well, I just got back off a holiday." I begin, knowing he already knows exactly what I've been up to.
"Oh, I remember you telling me about this a few months ago! Tell the listeners about it." Roman continues, and I could almost punch him. He knows I went with Prim, who I can't talk about. He knows what position he's putting me in by asking me about it. Why is he doing this?
"I went travelling around North Africa for 2 months, and it was amazing." I answer shortly, fiddling with the rings on my fingers in nervousness.
"Did you go alone?" Roman questions, and my eyes look up at him in shock through my curls.
"Uhh... yes." I lie. I sit up fully, leaning my body over the table and mouthing what are you doing? To which, he just responds with an innocent smile and a shrug.
"Really?" Roman begins. "Because, I saw a paparazzi photo of you kissing someone - a girl - in the airport." He says, and my breathing immediately hitches. Paparazzi? Primrose and I were so careful to avoid them. We purposely travelled early in the morning from an airport near Woolacombe rather than London so no press could find us. How haven't I seen these photos? I thought one of my team would've found them and sent them to me, or they would've been posted everywhere by my fans.
"I- uhh, well, err..." I stammer, realising I've been silent for quite a few moments and need to say something.
"Who is she?" Roman continues, not phased by my obvious panic, or by the fact he knows nobody can know about our relationship.
"Really putting me on the spot right now, Roman." I laugh awkwardly, desperately trying to mask how much I want to kill Roman. Looking over to Jeffrey on the outside of the booth, I notice him in a mass panic, talking on a phone call and typing rapidly on his laptop, clearly confused by the mention of these photos too.
"This girl seems very special to you, based on the way you're simply looking at her. And you look extremely happy to be kissing her... is she special to you, Harry?" Roman continues to dive into these pictures, as if he's trying to make me admit live on air that I have a girlfriend.
"No. It was only a kiss." I answer quickly, trying to move the situation on.
As soon as those words left my mouth, my expression freezes as an unwelcome sensation of regret floods my stomach. Roman mirrors my expression, our jaws slightly slack and my eyes wide.
"There you have it ladies and gentlemen." Roman speaks, realising we are still live. "Harry Styles is still single. Now, we are going to play a song from his brand new album... this is 'kiwi'."
I watch as the light turns off, showing the world can no longer hear what we are saying.
"What the fuck was that?" I yell. "Show me these pictures." I demand, as Jeff storms into the room.
"I'm gonna have your job in 5 seconds if you don't start talking, Kemp." Jeff says lowly, leaning over Roman dominantly.
"My boss sent them to me this morning!" Roman says quickly. "He said they'd just been released, that Harry wanted to talk about them, and that I should ask loads of questions about them!" He defends himself, grabbing his phone and pulling up the email.
Jeff takes the phone, hastily reading over the email and looking at the pictures. His eyes flick up to mine in a concerned expression, as he leans across the table and hands me the phone. Reluctantly, I take it, and my eyes are met with Primrose and I, kissing against the wall in the airport.
"How does your boss have these?" I ask, not looking up from the phone in pure shock and confusion.
"Are they real?" Jeffrey asks, moving round to look at the phone from over my shoulder.
"Yes! These photos are like 2 months old though. Why hasn't whoever taken them sold them yet? They'd make a fortune." I question, looking up at Jeff.
"Because the paparazzi didn't take them." Jeff says, looking up at Roman. "Look in the corner of these images, there's a time. These aren't paparazzi photos... they're airport security photos."
My eyes sink down to look at Roman. "How does your boss have access to airport security cameras?" I ask, leaning back in my chair.
"I- I don't know." Roman stumbles with his words. "I did think it was suspicious that you wanted to talk about your relationship on live air though." He reasons, taking his phone back from Jeff. "But, I could call my boss and find out for you?" Roman suggests.
"How much longer of Kiwi is there?" Jeffrey asks.
"1 minute 13 seconds." Roman says quickly, scrolling to find his boss' contact number.
Jeffrey nervously paces the booth as he watches Roman talking on the phone. I play with my rings again as I wait for answers.
Something isn't right. This whole situation is sketchy. Roman would never purposely ask questions like that, but, would his boss purposely set him up?
Roman slams his phone down, mumbling 'fuck' to himself, as he rubbed his eyes. "My boss didn't send that email this morning. He was hacked. And the person who got those photos works in Airport Security. They saw you and Primrose on the cameras, took photos, hacked Ben's email, and then wanted me to broadcast it to the world-"
"-So that when the whole world wanted to know who Harry was kissing, they could sell the images to the highest bidder!" Jeffrey finishes Romans statement, going onto his phone and typing all this information out frantically.
"Is that why they said I wanted to talk about it? To bring light to me having a girlfriend?" I question, looking at Roman.
"Probably. And they didn't fully fail either - thanks to me, the public know there's photos."
Shit.
Fucking shit.
"It's not you fault." I reason. "How long until we're-,"
"That was Kiwi by Harry Styles on Capital Radio!" Roman interrupts, handing me my headphones. Jeffrey hastily exits the room, and I watch as he continues to type on his phone about everything that just happened.
The rest of the interview dragged on as I nervously awaited the moment I could leave this booth and start figuring out what to do about these hackers. As soon as my interview was over, I darted out the door, Jeff following behind as we raced to our taxi.
Leaping in, Jeffrey began reading me an email sent by the Airport confirming the hack, and how the man responsible was caught and is under investigation. "Fucking idiots!" Jeffrey yells to himself. "What kind of airport can get hacked that easily?"
"It's not the airports fault." I say, pulling my phone from my suit pocket. My eyes became overwhelmed by the massive amount of notifications swarming my phone. Instagram. Twitter. iMessage. WhatsApp. Phonecalls. Everyone was trying to get in contact with me.
But there was only one person I cared about in this situation.
I searched Primrose's contact, and went to type a message. Yet, before I could start, I saw a message from her: sent at 3:09pm.
From: P x
Sent: 3:09pm
It was only a kiss?
My body stiffens as I realise she heard the entire interview. Of course she did. How stupid did I have to be to assume she wouldn't listen to me? Primrose would never just not support me.
"Harry?" Jeff asks, noticing my motionless state.
"She knows." I say, watching as his hard expression melts into one of concern and sympathy.
"Is she okay?" He asks, turning his phone off and putting it to the side.
"No." I say simply, still looking at her text message.
"Call her, Harry. Explain what happened." He suggests, nudging my arm to make me move.
I pulled my phone to my ear, listening as it began to ring.
*ring ring*
*ring ring*
*ring ring*
The low hum of life in the background of the call was the only thing I could clearly hear as the call was answered. "Prim?" I ask, but she doesn't say anything in response.
A sniffle echoes through the speaker and invades my ear... she was crying.
"Primrose, please don't cry. Please don't be upset. I have good news! The photos aren't out to the public, so nobody knows we are dating. We've found the source of the images, and are working on clearing all evidence of them. They hacked the airport security cameras to get them, and as a result, Jeff got them arrested." I explain, doing my best to sum it up in the shortest words possible so Primrose can relax.
However, she still doesn't say anything.
"P, this is a good thing. We can cover up what I said on the radio and say it was a prank, or an edited photo Roman made, or-,"
"Is that all you care about?" Primrose sniffles, her voice cracking from her obvious crying. "Covering up the fact we are dating? Because... the only good news to you, apparently, is that we can cover up and destroy any evidence of the public knowing we are dating."
"You know that's not true, Primrose." I try to reason.
"Do I?" She shoots back. "Because, you didn't have to say anything about the kiss. All Roman asked, is if I was special to you. When you said no, I wasn't offended. But... why did you need to add that bit on the end?" Primrose's voice breaks as she speaks.
"I didn't mean to, it just slipped out. I was just trying to change the subject." I try to explain, feeling a lump begin to form in my throat from hearing Primrose cry. I hated it - hearing her in pain. And knowing I've caused it makes it even worse.
"Mmhm, it slipped out. It was only an accident." She agrees with me.
"Yes! An accident is all it was. It was just a cover up, you know I didn't mean it, and I-,"
"Just like it was only a kiss." She says quietly, before ending the call.
The phone remains frozen to my ear for a few moments, as I look over at Jeff, who was just staring at me.
"Harry... what was that?" He says flatly.
"What do you mean?"
"She doesn't care about covering up your relationship. Do you know how much of a slap across the face that must've been for her, to be crying, and have you telling her that: everything's going to be okay, because you can hide your relationship. All that poor girl wanted, was to hear you apologise for saying what you said. She's just heard her boyfriend say on national radio, that your relationship was 'just a kiss'." Jeffrey explains, and the phone slowly falls from my ear.
"But I-,"
"But nothing, Harry. You need to admit you're wrong. Whether it was purposeful or not, you need to admit it. That girl is 200 miles away, believing that you care more about your social reputation than about her." Jeffrey turns his laptop on, and begins typing another email. "Don't just stare at me, call her back!"
The phone positions itself back at my ear again, and I don't even have to listen to the call ring as Primrose answers immediately.
"Harry, I-,"
"Primrose, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that on live radio. Of course you aren't just a kiss to me. You are my happiness, my home, my joy, my most beautiful attribute to life. Saying that you're just a kiss is merely taking you for granted, and shying away from all of your amazing, unique, perfect qualities. The time we've spent together is some I will cherish until the day I die, and I will continue to cherish it from heaven until we meet again, along with all the other amazing memories we are going to make across the years. I'm sorry I made it seem like I care more about the publics perception, than I do about our relationship, and you, because that's a lie. It's all a lie. I only care about you. I only care about how you see me, P. And knowing you must be hating me right now makes me hurt so bad, but I deserve this pain, because I've made you feel pain."
"I could never hate you, Harry." Primrose laughs slightly, sniffling at the end of her sentence, and I take a huge sigh of relief. "I was actually going to apologise to you."
"Why?" I ask.
"I shouldn't freak out about things like that. Your job and your life is something I will never understand totally, or experience at all. Who am I to judge you for wanting to keep things private." She explains.
"I want the whole world to know how much you mean to me.... But, I only need you to know."
"And why's that?" Primrose queries.
"Because you are my world."
***
A/N:
I started writing this in a really bad mood. I'm still in a bad mood, but less of one. Idk how to feel about this chapter, it wasn't one I had planned but I didn't feel like writing the one I had planned.
Hope you liked 🤪