Chapter Twenty-six
I pressed on the first picture in Haruto's IG feed. Although I know how more painful it could be.
"If death didn't came to get you, I will keep you forever, Junghwan. How I wish I was able to embrace you as much as I could. How I wish I was able to let you watch the sky with me when stars are shining so bright with the moon on the full set. How I wish we had enough time to love each other. How I wish I had all the time in the world to love you. If I could be selfish, I want you to stay with me forever and love me forever. And I will do the same. If I could be selfish, I wish this is just all a dream and I'll be able to wake up one day to see you again... and I will be the happiest. I love you that I couldn't breathe when I remember your face, when I hear your voice playing at the back of my head, when the air touches my skin and I wish it was you. I couldn't breathe, Junghwan. Let me breathe again. Will you?"
I sniffed. Why is this so painful to read? I pulled up the comforter, covering me up as I howled silently. The pain in my chest keeps worsening.
I hate that insecurity is starting to foster in my heart. Junghwan is dead. And yet... I feel like he is a ghost and he will always hold a place in Haruto's heart that I won't be able to fill in.
And I understand. I don't want to take his place either. I want to make myself believe that at the present time, I hold my own place. Hopefully.
I stiffled my mouth hearing the door clicked. "Jeongwoo," it's Haruto's voice. I bit my lower lip, wiping my face soaked with tears. "Hmmm" I just responded. I am tearing up.
"Where did you go?" I asked, changing the topic. He cleared out his throat as I felt his weight sat down on my bed, "I met an investigator. I am trying to look onto something," he said. He cupped my cheeks, "Are you tired? Jetlag?" he asked, maybe hinting from my voice, I sound lifeless. "Yeah, I'm just tired." I get up as I turned on the lump beside my bed table. His face shone with the bright beam of the light. I smiled as I was hurting inside admiring the beauty in front of me.
He held my hand as I held his hand back.
"Haruto..." he stared at me anticipating what I am about to say, "Are you happy?" I gulped, bowing my head as I felt my eyes welling. He held my chin, making me look at him as he flashed me a smile "I am happy, Jeongwoo," I nodded my head.
But not the happiest, right?
I closed some space as I embraced him. I will deal with this insecurity for awhile... but I will make sure not to let it ruin what I and Haruto have.
Junghwan is dead. And his peace should not be on the line.
"I love you so much, Haruto." my heart ached, it's squeezing my cheast tightly, it's not because I'm ill but because loving Haruto unexpectedly hurts too. It hurts damn much.
;
I flinched, rolling my body onto my bed, unable to touch Haruto's body as he disappeared already, maybe. I am thinking maybe he just waited for me to fall asleep. I heaved a deep sigh hearing the vibration of my phone under my sidetable.
I cupped for it trying to reach it out. It's my Grandma.
"Grandma, good morning," I greeted. I laid my back on the back rest of my bed. "Jeongwoo-ya, come over here for dinner later, okay?" excitement is what I can hear from her voice making me giggle. "Okay, grandma. I miss you, see you later."
I carried my weight out of my bed as I wore my slippers. There were no message from Haruto but it's fine because he told me about his plans for the day. I am still contemplating weather to ask him to go with me in the dinner.
It doesn't looks like he came here to accompany me. But that's totally fine because he's also a busy man. We can't always be together and we're grown ups, we have priorities.
I felt the coldness of the water rushing down my body. I shrugged my thoughts away from the things I've read yesterday. It was like a summary of their story, and I envy that they had each other from the very beginning.
If death didn't interfere, I can figure Haruto and Junghwan the happiest people. They are meant for each other.
I sighed feeling heavy on my cheast again.
"Jeongwoo!" I heard William's voice. "We got you some foods, just pay us okay!" Lance said. A smile slowly drawn onto my face.
"You're working?" William asked when I appeared in the kitchen. They are already sitted on the dining table but aren't touching the food they brought. "As I should?" I raised a brow at him, giving off a grin. "Mr. Sarcasm," they both said. I sat on the chair, pulling the mug of coffee.
"Where's Lucas?" I asked. They exchanged glances, shrugging their shoulder afterwards. "Maybe he was able to get himself a one night stand finally," William joked. I laughed knowing how miserable that friend is.
After having breakfast, we went to the office right away.
Jae munching something in his mouth, raised a brow as he saw me entered my own office. "Why are you giving me that look?" I asked, he let out a chuckle and he laughed after that. "You look so serious," he noted. I stared at him for awhile, am I tensed? I don't know. "Beoya? I am not!" I defended. "It's not like you didn't look like that before, you know. But you look differently serious today. Hmmm why is that?"
I avoided my gaze away from him, pulling my couch as I sat down to check on the files on my table. I can feel his intense stare as I just threw him a nod hinting him to just go over his own work. "Arraso," he surrendered getting up giving me a smile. He then left my office.
I spaced out thinking how unbearable it is not being able to tell Jae about my concern. I am getting jealous over a dead person, how lame could I be? I'll look like a fool to anyone if ever.
I threw a glance at my phone, still no message from Haruto. I bit my lower lip as I picked it up, typing a message.
"Take care for today. I love you."
I heaved a deep sigh before working onto some paperworks and checking some emails.
I found out that Wilson Company sent me an email yesterday night which I wasn't able to reply to. "God, I think it's fine to reply just now right," I mumbled to myself, actually getting nervous. I am working with a different company owned by an American Citizen. Which is totally different knowing they are the top rank in the Country.
Soft knocks get my attention and Doyoung appeared in his white polo and black slacks. His hair fixed onto brushed up revealing his forehead. I automatically smiled although I am feeling weak. "Can I come in?" he asked, his feet still outside and his head popping in to peek. I chuckled nodding my head. "Of course. Come in," I told him earning a wide smile from him.
I eyed the basket he's carrying in his right hand. "Your grandma gave this and asked me to bring it to you. I came to check on your Grandpa," I furrowed my brows, "Why? Is he okay?" he flashed a smile before saying "He just caught a cold and Grandma already panicked as she called me," he was chuckling, the way he laughs made me smile. Doyoung is such an attractive guy. When will he get himself a girlfriend? or maybe a boyfriend?
"I thought it was something serious," I said. My mouth suddenly parted realizing he's here in front of me "When did you came? You should have told me you're going back so that we went together!" I told him. He started shaking his head with his hand motioning a 'no'. "I had my flight yesterday night, you had yours in the morning, right?" he started saying "I knew because Jihoon mentioned it to me, unfortunately I had a meeting yesterday morning and I needed to come back here because I'll be checking on another program our hospital is conducting next week," he explained. "Oh, is that so," I just said.
"Yes. Anyways, Grandma told me to remind you about the dinner in case you'll forget. She's so excited to see you again," he giggled making me giggle too, "Really? Uh, I missed her too," I frowned.
"You seem busy?" he noted, I gave him a stare of despair. "I am worried about meeting the CEO of Wilson Company," I told him. I saw the shift of expression on his face, as his eyes became shaky. "Wilson... Company?" he asked startled. I nodded my head, "It's like a dream come true to be able to partner with them, they ranked the highest together with HW Company," I added.
"Do you need to go on with that... I mean, you just recently signed a contract with Haruto's company right? Isn't that heavy and hectic?" he asked. I arched my brow, "HW Company is partnered with our SK branch, Wilson Company if I'm fortunate enough to have them approve our proposal, I will take care of it here and I'll need to stay here for awhile," I explained. "So it's no hectic," I concluded.
"What if you just handle HW Company?" he again insisted, I saw his adams apple moved up and down as he was gulping, "Why are you so worried suddenly, huh? You haven't really talked about my company," I let out a chuckle finding the unusual attitude of Doyoung from the sudden mention of Wilson Company.
"I am just... curious. Maybe I don't know much about business," he said. I laughed giving off a smile. "It will be fine, Doyoung." thinking he was worrying about my health.
*
Evening came fast. I settled onto black polo leaving my hair undone. I fixed my wrist watch as I eyed my phone receiving no message from Haruto yet. I sighed. I think I need to go alone.
I picked up the paper bags of gifts I bought for Grandma and Grandpa. I will stop by to have dinner with them and will meet the guys in the club as they insisted me to come over.
I hopped in my car driving off myself all the way to my Grandparents' house. I can't decide to stay with them since I have Haruto around.
The lights and modernity of America never fail to make me fall for it again and again. It's so beautiful here.
Later or sooner, I will ask Haruto to stay here with me and become an American Citizen. I smiled at the thought.
"Jeongwoo-ya! Oh my God, my baby," Grandma embraced me right after I entered the mansion. I giggled embracing her soft back, smelling her fragrance as I gave her cheeks a kiss. She giggled and pinched both of my cheeks "I missed you Grandma," I said, glancing to my Grandpa behind acting like he was sulking. I came to him as I hugged him tight too, "Of course, I missed my Grandpa too," he laughed, patting my back as he patted my head, smiling ear to ear.
"You prepared a lot of foods, Grandma. Daebak, everything is my favorite," I exclaimed in excitement eyeing the foods in front of me. They both chuckled, "When will we stop babying this grown up man in front of us if he still gets excited over foods," Grandma laughed staring at me as I just wink at her "Please don't stop babying me," we laughed in unison, "I am forever a baby, tho," I shrugged my shoulder. "You are also someone's baby now, I'm jealous," Grandma said, I arched my brows, hinting what she's talking about.
"Jihoon told me," she chuckled, "Your long time crush became a reality, huh. Wow, my grandson is such a good catch though, not bad at all,"
"Ey why are you making it sounds like I'm not the bestest shot?" I joked. "You're the best, Jeongwoo-ya!" she said raising her thumb, giving off a thumbs up. I cackled "You're learning Grandma!"
We talked awhile about the company and my Grandparents asking mainly about my health. That's their utmost concern.
I left after an hour.
"I'm already on my way," I told William on the other line. I dropped my phone on the passenger seat speeding up a bit.
I parked at the back parking lot seeing a lot of cars in front.
I hopped off, putting my keys in my pocket. I missed clubbing. This is a part if me already.
"Hey, Jeongwoo, it's been awhile since I saw you around," Troy, the co-owner of the club said when he saw me walking my way inside. I did a fist bomb with him "I came to Korea for awhile, that's why," I said smiling. "Your girls are looking for you ever since," he started teasing shaking his head "They aren't my girls, I have no intention to claim any of them. I'm busy," he started laughing, "You and your words, Park Jeongwoo. That's why girls are attracted to you. They like that attitude," he added. I gave him a shrug of shoulder. "What a pity, then."
"Your friends are waiting for you, they haven't paid yet, that explains why, maybe?" I just laughed at him waving my hand as I went to our usual spot. Near the dance floor.
I threw my coat on William who's now staring at someone's butt from the near table. He cursed under his breathe "Mr. Park, it's just the ass," he whispered, I whipped his head. "Hey! We're not inside your company, treat me as a friend, will you?" he complained.
I picked up the glass of wine on the table, taking it in one shot. I laid my back on the softness of the couch as I looked up on the ceiling spacing out for awhile.
"Our CEO is gloomy," Lucas said, handing another glass of wine. "You think?" I asked accepting the glass as I drank it in one shot again. I saw him nodding his head, "Will the girls in the dance floor will ease your loneliness at least?"
"Do you think of girls as some kind of escape from loneliness? You're dirty, Lucas," I said. He gasped "Hey! I'm not like that!" he defended himself as William and Lance disagreed "Stop claiming you're clean, Lucas. It doesn't suits you even just a bit." I nodded my head. "Right."
I was drinking and laughing with the guys as they were talking about the things they did when I wasn't around. I can say, I make them sane at least.
"Without you around, Jeongwoo, we're just fucking pieces of mess!" Lucas, obviously already drank shouted. I can still hear him although the loudness of the music filled the club already. I laughed "I know, Lucas."
My feet are walking towards the crowded dance floor. I like the song and it's making me want to dance. I joined the sea of people. Losing myself in between as I jammed with the song.
I was just there, dancing. But I bumped my back on someone's back. I looked back to see and apologize
"I'm so----
But someone pulled me away from the crowd. Looking from its back, it's Doyoung.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, not annoyed at all. He was running out of breath when he let go of my hand, staring at me with his unreadable eyes, it's mixed and it was the first time I can't say what's Doyoung is feeling as of the moment.
"What's the problem, Dobby?" I asked again as he was just staring at me.
He just froze. Unable to utter a word.
Haruto appeared as he hopped off his car. Doyoung and I ended up looking at him, switching my attention away from Doyoung's reason. I saw how Doyoung gulped hard. I've never seen him this tensed.
"Haruto," I uttered. He flashed me a smile when I was expecting him to whine over seeing me with Doyoung.
"Haruto. I think you need to bring Jeongwoo home. He's... drunk," Doyoung said. I arched my brows at him. "I'm not?" I argued, he just gave me an expression of "just go please,"
"Is he?" Haruto asked. He came to cupped my cheeks when I automatically felt red on my face. I saw Doyoung's eyes shake. "Yes. Take care on your way home. Take care of Jeongwoo."
I stared at Doyoung trying to read his eyes as I failed to do so. Why does he sounds skeptical to me.
Haruto held my hand, "Let's go," he simply said. I just nodded my head, defeated. I glanced back at Doyoung whose eyes are away from us. I sighed at the back of my mind. I am bothering him again... and making him feel things inside his heart. How I wish he would end it himself. That admiration he has for me.
Haruto started the engine. "Why did you go here?" I asked after awhile. He just gave me a sloppy smile, "I asked your friend where you were." He said.
I stared outside the window pale admiring the beauty of the lights.
I pulled out my mobile from my pocket as William were calling me now. I wasn't able to say that I needed to go already. "Hey. I'm coming back home. Yes, I'm good." I said.
Haruto gave me a worried look, I flashed him a smile although I can't name what I am feeling as of the moment. I felt the heat of his hand hugged mine as he held it. "Mianhae," he started saying. "Hmmmm" I just said, anticipating the next thing he'll say. "I'm just sorry."
When he said he's just sorry, I don't know what it is about.
"Did you have dinner? Let's eat?" He shifted the topic. "Are you hungry?" I asked earning nods from him. "Okay then, let's have a dinner. I haven't eaten too."
We were about to go home when I saw the sky filled of stars. I asked Haruto to stay for awhile and watch the sky as it was calming.
Haruto undone his black coat as he kneeled down to put it on the ground. He looked up to me as he motioned me to sit on it which I did.
"Do you love watching the sky, Haruto?" I asked out of the blue, as the imaginary image of him and Junghwan flashed at the back of my head. He stared at me, slowly nodded. I smiled.
That's for sure.
"Jeongwoo, why are your eyes so gloomy..." he asked, I frowned as I just arched my brows. Was I that too obvious and transparent. "I just know there's something bothering you. Tell me."
Tell him? I won't like how will I sound if ever. Junghwan doesn't deserves to be brought out like he's some kind of a mistake or a cause of misunderstanding.
I reached out for his hand, gently carressing it with both of my palms. Haruto is so warm. He is a warm person.
I am seeing a sincere eyes in front of me as his eyes twinkled upon the gesture. "Always remember that I love you so much, Haruto. Okay."
There were moment of silence as he was just devouring the quietness of the surrounding as he was just intently staring at me since I told that. "Okay?" I repeated myself. Clueless of the sudden words of affection, he just nodded his head and pulled me giving my forehead a kiss.
My night ended that way. And I hope the next days won't be this gloomy anymore.
;
Two days after.
A busy atmosphere welcomed me the moment I stepped inside the company. Everyone is in rush.
The Wilson Company unexpectedly set a meeting yesterday night leaving the whole company in sudden headache. Although Wilson Company will just come to hear our project proposal.
Jae handed me an iced coffee when he saw me walking my way to the hall. I just smiled as an employee handed me a black folder of the copy of the Company's project proposal.
I sighed. I am not mentally ready to face the outstanding CEO behind the most successful company in America.
I am still... picking up myself.
The office is oddly not in silenced as I can hear my employees talking happily to someone. I arched my brows.
I suddenly felt sweaty on my hands when I held onto the door holder. I gulped unconsciously when Jae appeared behind me pushing the door for me. "You seem sculpted, Sir," Jae let out a chuckle.
As I stepped inside, the wind of silence came. Together with that are the greetings of my employees.
But my eyes had its own instinct, looking straight at the guy sitting in front of me who stood up upon seeing me.
I hope my eyes are betraying me for awhile as I stared at the figure in front of me. Tall, white skinned guy, smiling with his eyes looking like a human angel.
The person behind Haruto's letters of misery. Junghwan. He's the owner of Wilson Company.
Is this some kind of a joke? Because it's not funny to me at all.
Hi! I'm sorry I posted this chapter late, I had a problem with my internet connection. I hope you enjoyed this chapter somehow. I hope you get thrilled ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭ There's more to come. Keep safe, stay healthy and hydrated! ♡ ✨