A/N: should I change all my chapter names to numbers??
Primrose's POV:
I managed to calm Harry down, ushering him out the bed and into the shower. As I turned to leave, he reached out for my wrist, stopping me.
"Stay." He whispered.
I froze at the word. Does he want me to shower with him? I- why am I even hesitating? This isn't even about me, this if about Harry. You're doing this for Harry.
Turning around, I took Harry's hand in mine and joined him under the warm water. There was no intimacy between us, this was pure. Harry just wanted my company while he washed away all his troubles. I watched as he threw his head back in the water, allowing it to trickle through his curls, down his muscular back, hugging his thighs.
I didn't know what to do to be honest. I just sort of stood in the corner, watching like a supportive mum on the sidelines of her sons football game. Feels like I should have pom-poms and be shouting 'give me an H!'.
Harry reached out and took his shower gel, squeezing it onto a loofah and lathering it up. He began scrubbing his body in light, circular motions, and I watched as he slowly became immersed in the white foam.
Turning to face me, I saw the glimmer in his eye vanish as he noticed my awkward stance. My arms were wrapped around my stomach, and I was slouched on one leg, my eyes trained on the floor. Harry walked up to me, removing my arms from my body and meeting my fingertips with his. He smiled at me reassuringly as he lead me into the downfall of the water. I breathed in sharply as the hot water covered my body, removing the sleep deprived atmosphere growing around me.
I gasped in shock at a sudden sensation on my back, my stomach arching slightly forward on reflex. "Shhhh, just me, love." Harry coos over my shoulder, as he slowly washed my back with the mint scented shower gel.
He placed one hand on my shoulder for comfort, and I placed my hand over his as if to say 'thankyou'. As he made his way up my back, I heard a small splash against the floor of the shower, and looking down, I saw the loofah. Harry's other hand met my shoulder, and both hands slowly glided along my slick skin, wrapping around each other until Harry was hugging me from behind.
I was still extremely rigid in my movements, as Harry rested his head next to mine. His heart was gently tapping my back, the slow, rhythmic beating soothing my growing anxiousness.
"You alright, P?" Harry asks quietly, kissing my temple lightly.
"Mmhm." I shrug off the question, keeping my head locked on the wall in front of me.
"Don't lie." He teases lightly, and I take a deep breath in.
"Just never done... this, before." I admit, not feeling better in the slightest for telling him. Harry doesn't say anything for a few moments, he just holds me close to him as the water pours down on us both.
"Neither." He says simply.
"Then why did you-," I go to ask, but cut myself off.
"Ask you to shower with me?" Harry finishes my question, and I nod shyly in response. "You make me feel safe." He says simply, loosening the hug slightly as he noticed the rise in speed of my breathing. "Are you scared?"
"M'not scared. Just... nervous. Dan was never the kind of person to appreciate small moments like this, so we never had any." I explain shortly.
Harry's hold tenses slightly at the mention of Dan, which soon melts away at the arrival of my hand on his bicep. There's a small pause before he speaks, which has my nerves doing backflips. "We can get out if you want?" Harry offers, kissing my temple again as if he's constantly reassuring me he's here for me.
"No, it's fine. I'm in here for you. I can't wimp out of everything all the time." I say slightly sternly, more aimed at myself as if I'm telling myself I have to do this.
Harry nuzzles his head further into my neck, feathering extremely light kisses over the bruises he left form earlier. He begins to sway me back and forth slightly, as if we are slow dancing, and my exhausted eyes begin to droop shut. This was one of those moments that I knew I would remember forever. It's not one I would tell people - its my own little pocket of peace. One of those moments that makes you smile immediately, makes your tummy go all fuzzy, makes you remember how loved you are.
Harry's arms slipped down from my shoulders, and lightly cupped my hips. Spinning me round to face him, my eyes drifted up his vast chest to meet his eyes. They were slightly hooded, and his long, black eyelashes batted away the water droplets cascading down his face. His hold on my body was so delicate is practically wasn't there at all. The tips of his fingers rested on my back, as his large palms covered my sides.
Leaning down, he lay a small kiss into my lips, resting his forehead on mine so his hot breath pillowed my face.
I felt like I was in a film, as the water showered over us, glossing our skin and filling the silent void. My nerves began to melt away as I became lost in the moment. Harry moved one of his hands down my arms, until it locked with my fingers. Raising his arm, he spun me round slowly, and my eyes fell shut as he did so. I fell against his chest, my feet slipping slightly in the soapy water below. My hand fell against his chest, as a small gasp of shock left my mouth.
Harry's heart thumped against my chest, a constant reminder he was alive, and that I was too. I buried my head into his neck in embarrassment, and I felt him laugh through his nose; his warm exhale running down my spine, sending tingles across my entire body. Peeping up through his embracive hold, he reached up and tucked a loose curl behind my ear.
"For your eyes only..." Harry began to sing softly, his voice bouncing off the walls of the bathroom.
"...I'll show you my heart..."
My eyes widened slightly at the recognition of the song, and how beautifully Harry sung.
"...for when you're lonely, and forget who you are..." Harry continued, and my hand slowly slipping off his chest and resting on his side.
"...I'm missing half of me, when we're apart..." His voice broke slightly at the reminder of him being alone. It shattered me on the inside, seeing how much he valued my company, or probably any company for that matter.
"...now you know me, for your eyes only..." He finished, resting his forehead on mine again.
"You told me that song meant a lot to you, and how it connected with you. I wanted to connect with you." Harry says quietly, now taking both my hands in his.
He remembered!
Our fingers danced over one another as they fought to find a comfortable resting position. Harry won. My small, nimble fingers were no match for his large, dominating touch. The contrast of size to agility and elegant always threw me off. I'd never met someone with such obvious power and dominance, who doesn't use it to their advantage.
"Have we not already connected?" I ask quietly, trying to return the same loving tone with my risky question.
"Yes." Harry answered quickly. "But, you can never stop connecting. When you drive down a road, there are countless routes you can take that will each lead you to the final destination, in their own significant way. I never want to stop connecting with you, Prim. Ever. Every conceivable factor that brings me the even smallest ray of sunshine, leads me to you. It's you, Prim. You are my happiness. That's why it kills me to be alone from you."
My mouth opens to say something, but my mind tells me not to. I just look up at Harry through the still pouring water, blinking away the few drops that made it into my eye. Going up on my tiptoes, I flick my eyes between Harry's emeralds and his lips, before placing a kiss into them.
I don't deserve him. Not one bit. Why the universe lead me to find him will always be a mystery to me.
***
"What are you going to wear?" Harry asks, walking out the bathroom with me, both wrapped in towels.
"I don't know... I didn't bring anything." I laugh, walking over to his mirror and towel drying the ends of my hair.
"Come with me." Harry says, walking to the door in the corner of his room.
Oh my god - the door! I totally forgot about it! I've been dying to see what's in it.
As Harry pulled the handle down, I prepared myself for the wonders that lay behind it. Was I about to enter Narnia? Was I about to enter some secret drug storing room, and Harry reveals to me he's actually a drug lord?
The lights automatically flicked on as Harry's presence entered the room. And, to say the least, I was thoroughly underwhelmed.
It was a walk in wardrobe.
A beautiful wardrobe none the less. Harry set about rummaging through draws, pulling out clothes, however, my eyes and my feet trailed me around the room in pure amazement of the vast variety of suits he had. They were all so extravagant and fashionable - definitely designer based on the sheer quality of their fabric, and the way they were displayed.
In the far corner of the room, was a large, grey, cushioned seat with a suit thrown over it. Walking over, I very quickly recognised the red checkered pattern. It was the suit he'd gotten from the Gucci store whilst I was with him! My hands lightly lifted up the leg of the trousers hanging closest to me, and I traced the patterns with my fingertips.
"I wore that earlier." Harry says from behind me. Turning round, I notice a neatly folded pile of clothes in his hands. "On the radio."
"Oh my god, I forgot. You were on with Nick Grimshaw!" I exclaim, reminding myself.
"You listened?" Harry asked, slightly shocked.
"Ummm... partly. As soon as I heard you were the guest, I turned the radio off." I admit, looking to the floor at my bare feet against his carpet. "I'd been driving for hours, and the sound of your voice annoyed me." I laugh slightly.
"Does it still annoy you?" Harry says quietly, placing the clothes on a shelf next to him.
"No!" I reply quickly, darting my head to look at him again. "Not at all. I was just tired. I'd been driving since 1."
"1?" Harry asks, walking up beside me and lifting the suit up. I watched as he strategically folded it, throwing it into what I can only assume is a washing basket.
"1." I repeat.
"You must be exhausted, Prim." Harry picks the clothes up again off the shelf. "Please, wear these." He insists.
Harry handed me a folded black hoodie, along with some matching joggers. Immediately, his smell of tobacco and vanilla radiated off the soft fabric, taking its very welcome position in my nose once again.
"I don't have any underwear." I say embarrassingly, feeling my cheeks flush with colour. Harry doesn't hesitate to head back to his drawers, looking through them again. Does he have spare underwear for a situation like this?
Approaching me again, Harry handed me a pair of black Calvin Klein boxers. "You can wear these, if you want." He says quietly.
"Thank you, Harry. I can have everything washed for the next time I see you." I smile. Harry laughs slightly at my comment, as he readjusts his towel from falling.
"P, you can keep them." He hums, kissing my forehead lightly. "I'll leave so you can get changed. I always keep deodorant in here too, so you can use it if you like." Harry offers, before disappearing round the corner and shutting the door behind him.
Shoving on the clothes, I went over to the small display of different sprays. The only deodorant I could see was Old Spice. Old spice? I wouldn't have expected that from him. But, I wasn't complaining. It was either this, or I smell.
Spraying the cold vapour against my skin from under the jumper, my eyes caught glimpse of a familiar name on a luxurious bottle. Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille. The smell I love oh so much, sitting proudly in a bottle straight in front of me.
Do I spray it?
No, I can't.
Can I?
It's only one little spray, I'm sure he won't even notice.
No, I can't. He didn't say I cou-
*spray*
...what did you expect from me? It was right there!
Placing the black bottle down, I pick up my two towels and enter the bedroom again, to see Harry stood in front of the mirror, brushing his hair.
"You look cute." He smiles, his eyes following my reflection in the mirror. "Smell nice." He winks, shaking his head and laughing at how red my cheeks went.
"I- well... you see, my hands slipped." I lie, as I begin to make the very messy bed.
"Mmhm. Yeah. Your hands 'slipped' onto my bottle of cologne, positioned it infront of your body, and sprayed it." He mocks, coming to help me with the duvet.
"I just like the smell. Reminds me of you." I mumble into the collar of the jumper so Harry couldn't hear.
***
"Do you want a drink?" I ask, boiling the kettle to make myself a cup of tea. Rolling up the massive sleeves of the jumper, I take a mug from his cupboard.
"Just a cuppa, please." Harry says as he enters the room. The kettle pings to signify its finished boiling, and I lift it up to pour the drinks.
"Oh, shit!" Harry yells, causing me to jolt in shock. Boiling water spilt all over the granite and I slammed the kettle down.
"Harry!" I scold, standing back to assess the situation.
Harry was on his feet, pacing up and down the kitchen nervously, flicking his head between the doorway and the floor. "I forgot to tell you." He shouts to himself, rubbing his face with his hands, stressed.
"What?" I ask, approaching him in attempt to comfort him.
"Mitch and Sarah are staying. And they will be back any minute!" He says frantically, moving past me to dry up the water I spilt. "Are you okay? It didn't get you, did it?" He asks, lightly taking every limb of my body and assessing it for damage.
"I'm fine, Harry. But, what does it matter if Mitch and Sarah are here?" I question, moving our mugs out his way so he can clean.
"Don't worry." Harry brushes me off, not even making eye contact as he speaks. Is he serious right now? I thought we were past all the lying and sneaking around.
"Tell me." I say sternly, putting my hand on his shoulder to stop him from cleaning. Harry sighs to himself, straightening his posture and turning to face me.
"They convinced me to break up with you." Harry finally says, and I feel my chest go heavy when those word hit my ears. Sarah and Mitch told Harry to break up with me? I thought Sarah was my friend... she was so nice to me.
Shock overcomes my face and I lean on the granite for support. "They hate me?" I exhale, overcome with confusion.
"No, not hate. They just care for me a lot, and when I said I wanted to see you again, they wanted me to move on." Harry explains briefly, placing his hands on my waist to steady me.
Just as I was about to speak, the door opened and the muffled voices of two people entered the house. Harry and I made eye contact at exactly the same moment, me gulping heavily to push down my rising nerves.
"You need to go!" Harry says quickly, linking our arms and guiding me into his garden.
"Leave?" I blurt, stumbling as I failed to keep up with his fast pace. "But why?" I ask, feeling the cold concrete of his patio against my feet.
"If they see you, they won't be happy." Harry says, stopping at one of the windows to the living room. He pulls me back to stop my feet moving, bringing me to his chest. Peeping his head round, he checked to see if the coast was clear.
"Kneel down!" He whisper shouted, getting down on all fours. As much as I wanted to question it, I couldn't, there was no time. Harry began to crawl along the path, keeping his head low and his voice lower.
"Why are we crawling?" I ask, wincing at the pain of small pebbles digging in to my knees and palms.
"Because they will kill me, and then they will kill you." Harry says, turning the corner to his gate. He quickly jumps to his feet, turning around and hooking his hands under my arms to pull me up.
"What?" I blurt out, rubbing my hands together and whipping my head around to see if anyone was looking.
"Not literally." Harry answers quickly, opening the gate and ushering me out. We were now at the side of his house, and there was one massive window into his living room separating us, from wherever the hell he was leading us.
Harry locked the gate shut, and we both kept our backs glued to the rough wood. "What's in your car?" He said, spotting it outside his house.
"Urm... my bag, some water, some CD's-," I begin, but Harry cuts me off.
"No! I mean, is it unlocked?" Harry laughs slightly at my stupidity, taking my hand in his to reassure me that he's only joking though.
"Yeah, should be. The keys are still in there." I tell him, watching his eyebrows furrow as he schemed a plan.
"Run." He says simply, tightening his grip of my hand like he's getting ready to drag me.
"What?!" I whisper shout, looking at him in shock.
"Run to the car, now!" He says, and his feet take off down the front of his garden, to my car. He swings me round the car so I'm at the drivers side, and we both leap into our seats.
"DRIVE!" He yells, grabbing the hand break and pushing it down. My foot hammers down onto the accelerator, and my car races off the path and down the road, out the view of Harry's house.
My heart was hammering at a million miles per hour against my chest, as I sped down the road, weaving the corners like a maniac. "This was the most exhilarating thing I've ever done in my life!" I turn to Harry, laughing as I speak from the overwhelming adrenaline rushing though my body.
"Road, Primrose!" Harry shouted, grabbing the wheel and stirring us out the way of an oncoming car. Turning to look at the road, Harry's laughter filled the car as his hand fell from the wheel onto my knee. I couldn't help but laugh back, my chest heaving as we both struggled to make audible sentences, which somehow made the situation ten times funnier.
Harry's hand crept up my leg again, slowly finding its way back to its position on my thigh. Before applying any pressure, Harry looked at me to check it was okay, which I quickly nodded my head to. I wiped away a tear from laughing so hard, slowing down the speed of the car dramatically.
"Where are we going?" I ask, turning down random streets.
"Train station." Harry sighed, rubbing my leg with his thigh.
"Why?" I ask, turning down a road I recognised from when Harry picked me up.
"You need to get home." He looks at me with a hint of sadness in his eye.
"I- wha- huh?" I stutter, confused and shocked above all.
"You're exhausted, and I can't have you stay with me. I'm so sorry, Prim, I just can't. I'm too busy at the moment, and you'd be sat at home every day." He tells me, shaking my thigh slightly as if to tell me everything would be okay. I stay silent, my eyes fixated on the road ahead. "I'll come see you for your birthday, on the 24th. I've especially made time in my schedule." Harry smiles as he says, hoping to raise the sour spirits in the car.
"You remembered my birthday?" I ask in shock, pulling into the car park of the train station.
"Of course." Harry says simply.
"But what about m-," I'm interrupted by the ringing of a phone. Ducking down to my bag now in between his feet, Harry pulls out my phone. It was Angel.
"Oh good." I say to myself, rubbing the bridge of my nose. Pressing answer, I pull the phone to my ear, and prepare for the scolding of a lifetime.
"Heyyyyyy, Angel." I say, overly happy, acting as if I didn't take off in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye.
"Primrose, what the fuck. Where are you? Why haven't you answered me? I thought you were dead!" He yells, loud enough Harry can hear him without being on speaker.
"I didn't have my phone on me." I reason, turning to Harry and rolling my eyes.
"Well where were you?" He spits in anger.
"Where do you think?"
"Underneath Harry." Angel says, childishly.
"ANGEL!" I shout, slamming my hand down on the wheel in anger.
"Am I wrong?" He asks cockily, and I can see the expression on his face in my head.
"I'm taking a train home. I'll be back by 6." I say, finishing the conversation and ending the call. Looking over to Harry, we shared the same exhausted expression.
"Angel." I say simply, tossing the phone down on the dashboard, earning a quiet 'oh' from Harry.
"I don't want you to go, Prim." Harry's voice croaks, and he turns to face me. His eyes were slowly welling up again, and I could see him blinking quicker to try and flush it away.
"Then let me stay." I say sternly, turning to Harry and looking him dead in the eye.
"You know I can't do that."
"I know..." I trail off, looking away from him again.
"I'll drive your car up when I come to visit you.
Or will you need it?" Harry asks, pulling the hand break up.
"No, I don't." I say shortly, unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out the car. My feet carry me towards the train station, and the sound of Harry running to catch up with me slowly gets louder.
"P!" He yells, grabbing my arm to stop me. "You can't run."
"I'm not running. I'm doing what you said.
I'm going home." I force a smile out, taking Harry's hand in mine, realising it's not his fault we are in this situation. Well... it kind of is, actually.
"I got your bag." Harry says quietly, reaching over and handing me my handbag.
"Thank you." I say warmly, kissing him on the cheek.
Harry bought the ticket for me, before walking me into the building filled with life. After a few small tears, a kiss and a hug, I was once again, waving goodbye to my boy.
I wasn't going to see him for 10 days. 10 whole days. Honestly, I don't know if I can keep doing this. Not seeing him is ruining me. It sucks that we live so far away from one another. I've never been in a relationship I cherish as much as this before, let alone in one where we live a 6 hour drive apart!
I don't know what to do.
I can't even begin to think of an idea.
I just need to think of it in a positive light.
Not seeing him every day, makes the days I do see him even more special.
Right?
***
A/N:
3 updates in 3 days woo!! You're so welcome xoxo
I'm really thriving for how toxic I've made their relationship 😌😌