•An Anakin Skywalker crack imagine.
•Warnings: Cussing, Anakin poking fun of Obi-Wan, slight talk of masturbation, talk of Anakin fruit rolling up his dick.
•Look at the image I provided for context lol.
•So as your evil overlord I will be providing you with crack fanfiction about Anakin fruit rolling his dick.
•Enjoy.
---
You laid in bed with Anakin, giggling and laughing away at random things, all the while watching the news on the Holonet, and simultaneously munching away at the chips you shared.
"Hey!" Anakin laughed, pointing to the screen, to which you smirked at.
Obi-Wan was on TV in front of several interviewers, addressing the Jedi's stance on the Clone Wars.
"What a nerd, look at him, looking important. What a fucking nerd," Anakin laughed, taking a handful of chips from the bag, and messily shoving them into his mouth, keeping his smug grin while he watched his previous master get chewed out by interviewers and angry protesters.
"I'm so glad I don't have to be there," he mumbled, munching rather loudly on his chips.
You gave him a side-eye, watching all of the crispy golden crumbs fall from his mouth and onto his bare chest.
You just sighed and reached over into the bag, grabbing a few chips yourself, stuffing them into your face as he did.
"You wouldn't be good at talking to people anyway. I just know you'd make everyone mad somehow," you mutter, enjoying the sodium-filled goodness on your palette.
Anakin turns to you, shooting you a glare. "Excuse me?" He picked up a crumb from his chest and put it into his mouth, eyeing you.
You narrowed your eyes. "Exactly. See, you just proved my point."
"What?"
"You always gotta argue somehow, I swear. And don't even argue with me Anakin, we've been married for like four years and we've been friends since we were younglings. I know you," you retort, going back to grab another handful of chips, but Anakin narrows his eyes at you and snaps the chip bag away from you, plopping them onto his chest, turning his head away from you and towards the screen.
"Oh come on! Anakin," you whine, trying to reach back inside the chip bag but he pulls it away from you, lifting it above his head while munching angrily on a chip.
"You don't get chips," he mumbles after swallowing his chip, turning to you with his eyebrows furrowed.
"You're being a child."
"I am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
You crossed your arms. "Are too."
He groans, throwing his head back onto the pillow, lowering the chip bag, placing it back in between the both of you.
"Fine. You can have some chips. But only a handful," he mumbles, keeping his attention on the TV, his hand gripping the top of the bag just in case you decided to try something.
You huffed, slapping his arm. "Anakin! Are you really being that petty about me making a joke about you?"
"That wasn't a joke, you were being serious," he countered, gesturing to the screen.
You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. "No... Just... Just never mind. You're being frustrating right now."
He huffed, turning his attention away from you and back towards the TV, the air in the room remained silent--thick with unresolved tension.
You weren't going to say anything though. You didn't need to apologize. It was him who needed to, and he knew that. He was just too thick in the head to submit and say sorry for his actions.
Nevertheless, you waited, leaving the room silent except for the faint sound of Obi-Wan's voice over the TV and the munching of chips.
You looked over at Anakin and found several crumbs laying all over his chest, one hand continuously scrounging around for more chips while the other rested in his pants, or at least, for a little bit, until you saw it moving.
"Anakin. "
He raised his eyebrows, indicating that he heard you but his attention never moved from the screen.
"Why... Why do you have your hand in your pants?" Your eyes darted between the chip bag and his moving hand, eyes widening then you realized what he might've been doing. "Oh my god Anakin! What the fuck are you doing?!" You exclaimed, hiding your face in your hands at his very immature state. "You're not jerking off are you?! Oh my god, dude..."
Anakin's eyes widened, immediately retracting his hand from his pants, now sitting up at full attention, now that you had called him out. "No! No im not jerking off! Unless you want--"
You groaned at his immaturity, facepalming. "No! My god. What were you doing?!"
You remove your hand from your face and look at him incredulously--the brunette sat there with wide eyes and mouth agape at your sudden curiosity.
He blinks, before shaking his head and dusting off some of the crumbs from his chest. "Uh... Nothing. Nothing."
You raise an eyebrow, not believing Anakin for a second. He always looked like that when something was up.
Eyebrows furrowed, lips pressed together tightly, arms crossed.
Except one hand was in the chip bag.
That hand.
You groaned, snatching the chip bag away from him, to which he asked at.
"Oh my god, Anakin, you can't have the hand that was in your pants in the chip bag!" You huff, rolling up the bag of chips and setting it to the side on a nightstand.
He huffed, crossing his arms. "Calm down it's not like you haven't had dick in your mouth before, damn."
You rolled your eyes. "I don't want dick in my chips, Anakin."
"Whatever," he mumbled, clenching his jaw.
You turn away from him, now facing the TV once again, crossing your own arms.
Why did he always act like this? Childish and immature? If he was jerking off he should've just asked if he could do it right there. Although...
You glanced over at his lap to see if you could find any signs of a boner bulge, but there wasn't anything to be found. So there was a possibility that he wasn't jerking off.
You raise an eyebrow, tempted to bring up the conversation again. You were curious. You'd seen him just rest his hands in his pants before but never moved them around like that like he was doing.
You take a deciding breath before looking back at your husband who was clearly still mad at you. But nevertheless, you press on.
"So like... What were you doing?"
"I said it was nothing," he quickly answers, unfazed at your curiosity.
You scoff. "Yeah whatever, you were doing something."
He turns his head to you, eyebrow raised. He couldn't believe the bullshit you were on right now.
"Do you actually want to know?"
Did you?
No.
But your curiosity was inevitable.
"Yes. I've asked what you were doing for the millionth time already."
He sighs, rolling his eyes. "Okay! Jeez. Well, it's a guy thing... "
Of course.
You pinch the bridge of your nose, preparing for the worst.
"And I was..." He gestures with his hands, trying to get the sentence out but he clearly couldn't seem to bring himself to tell you. "Y'know this is weird I don't like talking about this."
You chuckle at his inability, seeing that no matter how long you've known each other, he still got embarrassed by little things.
"Anakin. How long have we known each other?"
He chuckles. "Too long."
"Right, exactly. So... what were you doing?"
He sighs, running his metal hand through his hair while looking down at the mattress, cheeks tinted red.
Even while smirking at his cute shyness, you never could've guessed what he was about to say next.
"Well... Okay... Uh... Sometimes I get bored and... Roll my dick," he said softly, straining that last bit as if he were ashamed of what he was doing.
You blink slowly, trying to understand if you had heard him right.
"You what?"
He throws his hands up, giving a nervous chuckle before crossing his arms and returning his attention to the TV screen.
"Yeah, see, exactly. This is weird."
You shake your head, dropping your face of surprise, afraid you might push him away from explaining.
You scoot closer to him, sitting right up against him now.
"No, no, please, indulge me," you persuade, gesturing a forward motion with your hand.
His cheeks are burning a bright red now, eyes still glued to the news.
"I just... Roll it. "
"Roll it? Roll it how?"
He sighs, clearly uncomfortable. "Um... Like... roll it towards me..."
At that, you picture the worst thing in your head imaginable. A Fruit Roll-Up.
Immediately you let out a loud laugh, clutching your stomach at the sheer thought of it.
The thought that he would use his own dick like a fucking toy, baffled you and nonetheless, made you laugh until you felt your sides hurting.
Despite your loud laughter, Anakin clearly wasn't amused, except for a few chuckles but he didn't find your amusement calming or reassuring.
That was until finally, you calmed down enough to breathe.
"Oh my god, so like a fucking Fruit Roll-Up?!"
Immediately, Anakin's face lights up and he lets out a good, loud laugh before shaking his head.
"Yeah exactly, like a Fruit Roll-Up."
Now, it was your turn once again to burst into uncontrollable laughter, to which Anakin joined in, both smiling and mumbling unintelligible things to one another while you laughed.
"Wait oh my god can I see?" You said in between laughs, still trying to calm down from thinking about his fruit roll-up dick.
"What you want me to whip it out and roll it in front of you?" He laughed, wiping away a tear from his eye.
You calmed down a bit. "I mean yeah. Now I have to see it."
He chuckled, nudging you with his elbow. "Baby you're gonna make me blush."
You rolled your eyes at his immaturity and playfully smacked him upside the head, making him let out a winced chuckle.
"Shut up and show me already."
"Like... Right now?" He asked, peering down at his pants before looking back up at you.
- "Yes idiot. "
"Damn so demanding," he chuckles, beginning to untie the tie that tied in his sweatpants.
You rolled your eyes. "Anakin just shut up and just show me the Fruit Roll-Up dick."
"Fine," he grumbles, loosening the ties before pulling his pants down to mid-thigh, his underwear remained the only thing covering it.
He sighs as if he was preparing for this himself when it was you who felt like their sight might get ruined more so than it already was.
"Okay... I'm trusting you with my life."
You laugh at that. "Too late, we're married."
He smiles, chuckling. "Fair enough."
He raises an eyebrow, asking if it was okay for him to continue, and you gesture to him, allowing for him to resume.
Anakin sighs and looks down, slipping his soft dick out of his underwear, he takes his shaft into his hands and starts rolling from the tip, moving it down towards him, rolling it until it's in its cylindrical shape.
You furrow your eyebrows at it, gaping at the strange-looking figure.
"Ta-da."
"Oh my god," you mumble, slapping your hand over your mouth when you start to laugh. "I can't decide if that's gross or disturbing or awesome."
He sighs, looking down at his member. "I hate this."
You nod, blinking at the weird cinnamon roll shape. "Me too. Put it away."
Quickly he shuffles, placing his dick back into his underwear before sliding his pants back up, the tension in the room had risen once again, a thick awkward fog filled up the space between the two of you.
After a minute of silence, Anakin breaks the silence.
"Let's never speak of this again, shall we?"
"Agreed."