Feel free to consider this an alternate ending to Who Knew ( Troyler AU ).
This is definitely going to be different. It's set slightly in the future, in February 2015 and has some mixed up shipping, but don't be discouraged! I swear, it's not what it sounds like. But yeah, it should be interesting.
Troye POV
"So, everything been since I've been gone?" I asked my good friend, Connor Franta, as we ate lunch in the middle of the food court. I was visiting to work on my album, and I've been staying at Tyler's since I've been here. But today, I just thought I'd hang out with Connor.
"Great, actually. My book is actually almost done with the publishing process, so I'll be able to announce the release date soon I guess," he said with a smile while chewing on his hamburger. I smiled along with him, happy to hear the news.
"That's awesome, dude. Really. And how's everything been, since, ah..." I trailed off, knowing he'd catch on to what I was getting at. He and Tyler had been dating for a while last year, getting together just two weeks after the Troyler kiss at Digifest ( as if that wasn't a mockery enough ), but broke up a bit into September. I still don't know what quite happened between them, since they seemed so happy together-hell, anyone with eyes could see that in Tyler's Auguest collabs with him-because Tyler won't say and Connor still honestly doesn't know. I've let it be, though, since it saddened me that they broke up.
I was confused for a long time as to why I was confused, considering the fact that I've been in love with Tyler for so long now. I didn't even have an epiphany about it or anything, I just kind of marginally changed my thinking of him over time, slowly merging from friendly territory to painful longing. But at the same time, it's also one of those things that I've accepted would never happen. Well, after the entire Boyfriend Tag, and that one time that was mistakenly caught in Louis' vlog, and then the reaction to the staged kiss... I thought maybe. But that was proven a mistake when he and Connor started dating. Connor came out to me before then, so it wasn't that huge if a bomb, but still... Neither of them had ever expressed any interest in each other to me, but then again, it's not like either of them know that I've loved Tyler for so long now.
Connor cocked his head to the side, and his expression was one of light bemusement. "Honestly? I'm kind of over it by now. Obviously, I was kind of pissed and really sad at the time, because, you know, he was my first boyfriend, but I don't think I was ever in love with him."
I gave him a little half smile, glad that he was over it. They've barely spoken since they've broken things off, though it's fairly common knowledge that they've had a little feud online for a while now. Add that to the fact that people shipped Tronnor incessantly... Well, that's bound to stir up confusion throughout all three of us.
I've never felt anything but friendly feelings towards Connor, though it's true that we did get a lot closer after the break up. I could relate to him, though he didn't-and still doesn't-know just how much. He's never made any moves towards me, either, and we've never actually been flirty the way Tyler and I, and Tyler and Connor obviously, have been. I didn't even have a problem with the shipping, though, until people started fighting over it. I never thought I'd be the one caught in a love triangle, out of the all of the YouTubers, but it's interesting, I'll give it that. Really, though, Tyler should've been the center connection, considering everything.
All three of us have subconsciously censored ourselves online since then. We never even discussed it, it just happened. I was wary of setting people off, and I didn't want Connor to get the wrong idea or Tyler to get the right idea. Basically, the fandoms have all just become messes. Connor and I haven't even ever discussed collaborating because of this.
As of right now, Troyler is still the most popular ship. But I wonder, if the fans knew all of the information, would it still reign true? Or would there be calls for Conler to reunite?
As for my opinion on Connor and Tyler being together... Well, of course I was happy for them. I longed to be in Connor's place at every constant moment, and it was painfully present whenever I was with either of them, but if either of them were to have anyone in the world ( without me being an option ) I would've been content of it was each other. Obviously, I can't tell them who to date or to ever consider getting together again, but when they were together, I was content that they were both worthy of each other, if that makes sense. They were both incredibly amazing people, and arguably two of the best people in the world, in my opinion. Even if they don't have each other, they deserve someone equally as amazing as each other.
"Im glad to hear it, Con," I told him, reaching across the table to clap a hand on his shoulder.
He let out a breathy laugh. "I'm glad to say it." He looked back at me for a second, but his lip as if considering something, then continued,"Troye?"
"Yeah?"
"I... I have something to come clean about," he admitted guiltily.
"Yeah, of course," I told him reassuringly. "I'm all ears, always."
He took a deep breath, then finally said,"After Tyler and I broke things off, I wanted nothing more than to get back on my feet, and get back into the way things were as soon as possible. I tried to distract myself, push myself into my work, keep myself busy, hang out with more people I rarely talked to. But the thing is..." He trailed off, closing his eyes in what could only be described as a combination of submissiveness and nervousness. "The thing is, I tried to distract myself with you. I did." He let out a sharp exhale through his nose, shaking his head, and said,"I shouldn't have, and I feel like an idiot, and I never even liked you like that anyways, but I did." He sighed, slumping his head back. "I'm sorry. I just really thought you should know that."
I stared in surprise at his words, my eyebrows slowly rising with each sentence. At the end of his confession, his looked so nervous as to what I might say, but how could I be mad? He literally just said that he was never even into me. He never tried anything, and he's not going to, and he told the truth. Honestly, this was more of a reassurance then anything. I gave a crooked smile, and replied,"It's alright, Connor. I understand. Really."
"Really?" he said, evidently surprised. I nodded warmly, and he sighed in huge relief, rubbing both hands over his face and pushing his hair back slightly in the process. "Oh, thank God. I thought you'd hate me."
I genuinely laughed at that. "Hell no. I'd never hate you." He nodded, then we continued eating for a couple of minutes, but we were mostly done by that point. Five minutes later, we tossed our trash away in the waste bins, and headed for the entrance.
After we left, we started walking down the sidewalks towards Tyler's place, so that Connor could drop me off. On the way there, I thought about how long Connor had been keeping that confession in, and kind of just went fuck it. "I guess I should probably tell you that I've been in love with your boyfriend the entire time you were dating, then," I admitted nonchalantly, not looking at Connor but not feeling embarrassed by my confession, which surprised me to an extent.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at me in bafflement, raising his eyebrows, but he other than that he didn't react. "Oh."
I grinned amusedly at this. "'Oh?' That's it? Not 'OMG really???' or 'Dude, I know' or even something along the lines of 'What the fuck?'"
He shrugged, putting his hands up in surrender. "I'm just surprised is all. And just... Does anyone actually know?"
"Well, someone does now," I drolled. Connor still looked troubled, so I asked,"You're not mad, are you?"
He scoffed. "God no, it's just..." he sighed, defeated, and said,"I lied to you about not knowing why Tyler broke up with me. The reason he broke up with me was because he said he was interested in someone else, and that he didn't think it was fair to keep me in something that he wasn't committed to anymore."
My footsteps faltered at his words, and my features froze into place as I processed his words. "He likes someone else?" I asked, unable to hide all of the disappointment from my voice.
"No, Troye, you don't get it. I didn't even make the connection before now, but one time, when I found him drunk at his place, he couldn't stop mumbling about something. I put him in bed, and got him water and stuff, and when I finally got him under the covers, I figured out that he was saying something about 'beautiful blue eyes' how 'stupid I was to get his color wrong.'" He gave me a pointed look. "I don't know about you, but I don't think he ever got anyone's eye color wrong but yours."
I stared blankly at him. "Come again?" He gave me another pointed look, clearly stating,'You heard what I said,' and I amended myself. "Just because he called my eyes beautiful doesn't mean I'm the one he's into," I protested.
"Troye."
"What? It's true!" I said almost defensively, but I wasn't sure why. If Tyler liked me... Why had he never said anything? Why pretend that that midnight kiss in the background of the infamous "Troyler Birthday Hugs" video never happened. Why brush off the Digifest kiss and the Boyfriend Tag, always constantly saying that they were huge jokes. Why never express interest in me, and date Connor instead? It's not like I've been completely unavailable. Sure, I live across the globe, but it's not like I'm dating anyone else or have explicitly told him that I'm not interested. He has to know, or at least have guessed that I feel something for him that isn't entirely platonic, especially since I'm literally in love with the guy. Then again, it's not like Connor knew, and we've become extremely close over the last few months.
"Troye, trust me. It's not. I'm not sure why I didn't make the connection before, but I totally know now. And it's not just that, either-"
"Wait, what?" I interrupted with.
He waved me away. "It's hard to explain, but trust me, it's true."
I examined his face for a few moments, and suddenly, I believed him. I'm not sure why-maybe I just know when to trust what he's saying, now that I really know him-but I did. But what do I say? This was his ex we were talking about. I opened my mouth, then closed it, second-guessing whatever I was even about to say, and probably looking like a fish when Connor beat me to it. "I know what you're going to say, but I don't care if you two ever get together. I'm over him, honest. Hell, I'm even considering making up as friends again, if he's up for it. But if you two want to be together... Shit, I'm happy for you man."
I gaped at him, and in that moment, my respect and love for Connor Franta went up another notch that I didn't know was even there. By a sudden urge, I quickly enveloped him in a bone crushing hug, hearing a surprised grunt coming from him, but he was just as quick to return the embrace. When I pulled away, he looked at me incredulously. "What was that for?"
"For being a good friend," I said through a broad grin.
He shrugged. "Just doing what any decent person should do," he said, like it was no big deal, even though I couldn't be happier.
We continued walking after that, and I couldn't stop smiling. Butterflies flew around in my stomach at the thought of Tyler reciprocating my feelings, but then a sudden though popped into my mind. What now? Do I tell him the truth? Do I ask if Connor's theory is right, and risk getting him mad at Connor for spilling what might've been private information in the first place? Do I pretend this never happened, and wait for him to make a move?
I push the thought out of my mind. Hopefully, if Connor is right, then he probably hasn't thought much about anyone else in a while, if I was enough to break them of all people up. I can wait a bit, and gather my thoughts together to plan out what I want to do, without worrying about him suddenly changing his mind or anything like that. I just wanted to do this right, but I was also in that obnoxious position where I wanted to get over the worry of confessing the truth to him quickly, but I also wanted to procrastinate to the world's end so that I don't have to face the possibility of ruining everything in the near future.
Eventually, we reach Tyler's place, and Connor and I part ways, knowing that while Connor may be fine with Tyler now, he's not ready to face him yet. We hugged quickly, and I mumbled,"Thanks for everything, I guess."
He just chuckled, and remarked,"Same," making me laugh before pulling away. After he left, I walked up to Tyler's door, and held my hand in front of it preparing to knock, but for some reason, my nerves got the best of me, and I couldn't even knock or ring the doorbell right now. I was just so nervous,mans I was overwhelmed with everything I've learned today, and everything that is still honestly up to interpretation and Connor's word.
I read about a theory once, explaining that if something is moving too fast, it becomes completely invisible, therefore not even existing at all. That's kind of what my thoughts were like right now.
Do this, I commanded myself.
Then I knocked.