-Kaisa-
Three days later, I find myself leaving the underground for goodness knows how long. I close the door to my place for the last time in a while, following up with some branches and greenery to hide the appearance of any openings. I don't bother to look back as I make my way to the Survey Corps HQ.
Since my last interaction with Levi, I feel a bit uneasy with his last responses. There's no way he'd know of Kenny's transgressions without personally interacting with him. That is, if Kenny still maintained his level of secrecy in the underground despite the lame title attributed to him.
But, the issue with this regards those who hired him. They must have conducted some sort of background check to ensure he'd be the best candidate for the job, meaning they must be corrupt in some form. People will really abandon morals for their self-interest.
People truly are selfish beings.
An hour later, I step back onto the Survey Corps grounds once again as a soldier—just without my gear. Walking inside of the familiar hallways, I feel light inside; I feel refreshed.
"Oh, Kaisa!" A familiar voice chimes behind me. I want to roll my eyes, but instead, joy spreads within me.
"Hello, Hange." I smile, turning to face her.
Suddenly, the ground underneath slips beneath my feet from a surprising tackle and her ponytail wacks the side of my face as we collide with the concrete. I let out a grunt as she quickly pushes herself up on her arms, looking down at me.
"I missed you so much! I'm so glad to have you back. Did you know what they did? They just left me high and dry on all of my ideas!" She complains.
I try to get my arm out from underneath us, hearing some footsteps rush towards us.
"Did actually not listen to you?" I question, finally releasing my arm.
"No, they did...but they wouldn't listen to me rant about it!" She whines.
"Captain Kaisa! Are you okay?"
I turn my head to see Connie looking over me with concern.
"Does she look okay to you, baldy?" Tsukishima edges him on.
Connie snaps his head towards him. "I told you, you giraffe! I'm not bald!"
"My name is Kei." Tsukishima responds.
"Giraffe?" Tobio tilts his head.
"It's one of those animals who have super large necks! Except this one has their head up their ass!" Connie scoffs.
I look over to Hange who isn't concerned with the commotion next to us and she eventually moves off me, but not before commenting on my return.
"I'm so glad to have you back. I heard about your conditions, and honestly, they don't seem as extreme as I thought they'd be." She says, holding out a hand to help me up.
The kids next to us continue bickering as we walk off to the dormitories.
"Yeah, although, Levi seemed to be a bit hesitant to give me what I wanted." I roll my eyes.
"That's surprising, especially coming from the guy who preaches about choosing the action that you'll regret the least." She ponders.
"Right? I honestly don't even know what to do with that information." I sigh.
Hange places a hand underneath her chin, "He definitely has feelings for you."
I stop in my tracks, "What?!"
"Isn't it obvious, Kaisa? Are you that dense? Maybe something happened to your head while you were gone." She says, coming close to me, examining my face.
I give her a slight push and let out a giggle.
"I just can't believe such a claim could be true. He's got too much on his mind at the moment, and he certainly doesn't foster any feelings for me. If he did, he wouldn't have done what he did." I shrug.
"I think it's just one of those cases of...ugh, what do you call it? You used to say it all the time a couple years back." The glare in her glasses shines as she taps her foot and holds a hand up underneath her chin, looking up as to find the word in the air.
She snaps her fingers, "Oh! Good intention, bad execution!" She proclaims. "Isn't that what you used to say all the time when something went a bit awry?"
I rest a hand on the back of my neck before speaking, "Yeah, I guess I did, huh." I pause before pointing at her, countering her argument.
"But that was before he decided to mess up this badly." I say, walking away.
"Can't you give the guy a break?" She questions as she follows me down the hall towards my room.
"No. I'm just willing to tolerate him for the sake of the kids here." I mumble near the end.
"Sorry, I didn't hear you, Kaisa." The scientist rushes up past me to wait at my door.
"It's nothing. I just don't want those kids to die, that's all."
"I see. In that case, welcome home." She smiles before walking off.
Giving her my thanks, I open the door to my old—well I guess now, my—room. Nothing has changed since I've left, and my boots I took off when I left still sit next to the entrance. Closing the door behind me, I drop my bag and rush over to the bed, flopping onto it like a wet noodle. Sinking into the mattress, I bask in the comforter and breathe in the fresh smell of new sheets.
"So, you decided to show up." A voice calls me out of my daydream.
I squeal in fear, jumping up from the bed and fall to the wooden floor with a thud. With the wind knocked out of me, I do my best to get to my feet and turn to see the intruder. When I've finally turned around, I hold my chest in relief.
With eyes squinted I ask him in confusion, "Why the fuck are you in my room?"
"I couldn't possibly let you come home to a filthy room." Levi says, dressed in his cleaning outfit. With a cloth over his shoulder and a mop in his grip, he walks over to me, emptying his hands on my desk.
Sitting on the floor, I catch my breath when he finally puts out a hand for me to grab. Instead, I move back to lay against the bed, pulling up my legs to rest my arms on. Noticing that I wasn't going to get up any time soon, Levi moves over to the desk, wiping it down with the cloth before sitting on it.
"You're the second person to knock me to the ground today, you know that?" I tell him.
"I'm surprised you didn't notice I was here when you walked in." Levi responds, ignoring my comment.
"I knew you were in the area, I just thought you would be in your room. How was I supposed to know that you'd be in my washroom cleaning?" I groan, knocking my head on my arms, between my legs.
"It was pretty amusing, to be fair." His intonation changes, and I can almost see him crack a small smile.
"Why do you take pleasure in my suffering?" I whine like a child, flopping over onto my side, laying on the cold floor.
"What is the point of other people if not to mock them?"
I scoff before looking at him with squinted eyes, "You are heartless."
"What if I am?" He counters.
"Then...you will never get a high five from me ever again!" I pout in a childish voice, rolling over to turn my back to him.
"I can tell you in confidence that this change will not affect me whatsoever-"
I cut him off with a sneeze.
"Fuck's sake, brat. Get off the disgusting floor—I haven't swept yet." Levi says from behind me, poking me with the end of the mop.
"Then why do you have a mop?!" I sniffle.
"I was cleaning the washroom, idiot."
"Why are you still here?" I groan once more before speaking, "I'm trying to tolerate you, not be buddy-buddy with you again." I finally roll over onto my back with arms spread across the ground.
"I got a message from Erwin: we're moving places soon. Your three soldiers have been moved to be with my team; you'll be responsible for them as well as the others." He says, walking towards the door.
"You got it, sir." I stick a thumb up as he leaves.
"Wait, where are you going?" I ask, rolling over to face in the direction of the door where he is.
He looks down at me, "Do you want me to stay or go?" Levi gives me a condescending tone.
Instead of answering, I just blink. I don't even know what I want, but, it's probably best if he leaves. In fact, it'd be easier if we stopped interacting often so these feelings would go away. I create these delusions, convincing myself that I'd be able to tolerate him completely without reminiscing of his lips pressing against mine. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses my touch, too.
"I'm going to get the broom, don't let the voices in your head get too loud, dumbass." He rolls his eyes, closing the door behind him as he leaves.
Getting up from the floor off my stomach, my next move is to settle in by unpacking the small bag I've brought from the underground. In the end, a lot of the items I took from here in the first place stayed at home since I didn't want to clutter my room. It's not that my room was cluttered in the first place, rather, I didn't trust Erwin.
The possibility of him having someone look through my room to ensure there aren't any ulterior motives is pretty high, especially since I've returned with a few conditions in place. Maybe they've created a hole in this room that I haven't noticed yet and plan to listen in to my conversations with others. Perhaps they've asked someone to follow me around so they can see where I'm going. At this point, there is no trust, and the possibilities are endless.
In the midst of my thoughts, a shiver runs down my spine and I turn to face the entrance of my room, only to watch Levi walk through it before stopping almost immediately after he's entered.
"The hell are you looking at?" He asks with a broom in hand.
"Dunno, I could just feel you coming." I shrug.
"Doesn't mean you had to turn around and watch me enter." Levi says, sweeping away.
Ignoring his comment, I walk up to him, "Do you want any help?"
"You can leave while I finish up." He says, reaching into the corners of the room.
I take the hint and take large, slow, dramatic steps towards the exit.
"Okay," I sing in a tone, "if you say so!" I smile before leaving the room.
With so much time left in the day, it'd be best to look around and talk with the new recruits of the elite squad of the Survey Corps. Levi was right when he said the three of them were not trained to the same extent his squad was—they've never seen Levi in action up close, therefore not being able to learn from him.
I've only led the four—well, three, of them in one single expedition. They've probably grown in their skills and have solidified a communication form without my knowledge. I've got to learn it before we head out into the battlefield otherwise they're definitely screwed.
Walking around the campus, I ask people as I pass by if they've seen the trio together, all of who say no. After each disappointment, something finally clicks—they're probably at the tree we met at before I left for the castle to monitor Eren. While cursing myself out for not being able to realise this sooner, I jog towards the beautiful, green, maple leaf trees where we once sat.
In two minutes, I come across three figures sitting in a circle, underneath the familiar maple tree. Calling out to them, I wave while making my way towards the group. They shuffle to open the circle and I catch my breath before plopping down between Kiyoko and Tobio.
"Hey! I've been looking for you guys." I say, breathing a little hard.
"Are you really that out of shape that a little jog tires you out?" Kei teases with a raised eyebrow. Kiyoko shoots him a look and his face drops.
"Nice to see you too, Kei." I roll my eyes with a smile on my face before continuing, "So, what have you guys been up to?"
"We've been trying to come up with a strategy that works for all of us, especially since we need to keep up with Levi's squad." Kiyoko says, handing me different papers with possible teamplays.
I flip through the pages before landing on one with multiple red circles around it.
"Oh, that one? That's the best one we've come up with." Tobio mentions.
"You just watched while Kiyoko and I talked about it." Kei smirks.
"Hey! I was the one who drew the titan!"
"You did a good job; it looks so ugly!" Kiyoko beams.
I stifle a laugh, bringing a hand over my mouth. Tobio squints his eyes at Kiyoko, huffing as he crosses his arms. Kei laughs and continues to poke fun at the messy lines and the disproportionate lengths.
"Alright you two, give Tobio a break—he tried his best." I say, trying to hold in my laughter.
"Listen, he's good at everything else, which is why he's going to be with you in the formation." Kei says, shuffling the papers until he lands on one with ink.
"For 3-4 meter titans, we're all pretty capable of killing them on our own since we've done that on other expeditions. For this plan, it focuses on 8-10+ meter titans." He starts.
Kiyoko jumps in pointing at the bottom of the titan's diagram, "In this case, I'll cut the tendons on the back of the titan's calves while Tsukishima and Tobio will slice the arms before you slice the nape."
Tobio looks at the two before turning to me, "And if you're not there, I'll be the one to kill it."
My stomach flips in surprise. They've grown so much as individuals since the first expedition in such a small amount of time even after losing one of their squad members. A sense of pride fills my chest and I can't keep a smile from spreading across my face.
"Wow, you guys have really thought this entire thing out, haven't you?"
Kei looks up at me responding, "It's a better alternative to dying, don't you think?"
"I think it's a good start!" I say, picking up the pen to begin writing.
The sun beams down from above us with its warmth. It is a soft reminder of the few good aspects of this world. The breeze rustles the leaves above us which occasionally fall into our laps as we share giggles and build memories. Their laughs bring me joy, comfort, and hope for the future which awaits beyond these walls. Truly, there must be more to this life than selfishness and suffering.