Me: (sighing as I sit on the edge of the bathtub) How long will this be again?
Qing: (sounding frustrated) I don't know. Who installed this door again?
Me: I don't know, the construction guys who worked to build this condo. Duh?
Qing: (kicking the door) I hate this door. Why won't it budge?
Me: Just get the crowbar already! Or a hammer.
Qing: I already did! But this door is as stubborn as you!
Me: (rolling my eyes) Oh, then there's a chance that you'll succeed on destroying it eventually. I mean, if its as stubborn as you...then I might as well just resigned myself to living forever here in the bathroom.
Qing: (growling) You are not helping, really.
Me: You told me to stand back.
Qing: Just shut up, Dayu!
I shut my mouth and pouted it. Fine, I was against Qing destroying our door at first but he managed to convince me that its the only solution available for us and even though it sucks, at least we have the knowledge that we have the intention to replace it when we have the bathroom renovated next year.
But it has been half an hour already and Qing still hasn't succeeded in annihilating the door that stood between him and me. That got me trapped here, waiting for my knight to rescue me.
Me: (snorting) Some knight you are, Wang Qing.
Qing: What?! Did you say something?
Me: Yes! I said, I am aging here!
Qing: (growling) You are one impatient asshole, Feng Jian Yu.
Me: And you are such a slow rescue knight, Wang Qing.
Qing: I am doing all I can here, okay?
Me: Oh, I know. I'm sorry.
I stood by my seat and went close to the door again.
Me: Do you need motivations? I mean, what do you need? Tell me.
Qing: Give me a reason to want to get you out of there. Because right now, this is taking all my efforts and I am not sure the compensation is worth it.
Me: (offended) You will get a blowjob if I get out of here!
Qing: Yeah...that is not doing it for me anymore.
Me: Wang Qing!
Qing: I mean, if I let you stay there...I will have some peace to talk on my phone and...
Me: And once I get out of here, your phone and you are both dead, just know that. You want some good compensation to get me out of here? How about your life, Wang Qing?! If you value your life, you will do all you can to get me out of here.
Qing: I am calling Zhu gege...
Me: NO!!!
I slammed my body against the door and stick myself on it again.
Me: Call your cousin and I will take the exhaustion apart and jump to my eternal death from there.
(Eternal death?)
I have to make the seriousness of my point across in any way.
(Right)
Qing: Why don't you want me to call my cousin? What do you have against Zhu gege?
Me: I have nothing against him. I just...your cousin could already write a whole ass book just with the compilation of all our stupid antics. Don't you feel ashamed that everytime something embarrassing happened to either of us, like me being trapped in the bathroom because you chased me here, your cousin knows it and he was there to help us sort it out. God...Qing...
Qing: He understands that we are both insane.
Me: Yeah...I know. But lets not take it to another level, okay? Lets figure this out on our own.
Qing: So we will not call your bestfriends as well to get their opinions and help.
Me: (snorting) What help? Beavis and Butthead won't help us. They will laugh first, then they will tell you that story when I got trapped inside a corral with a Momma Pig when we try to steal one of her piglet and I sprained my foot while running away...
Qing: You what?
Me: Oh you didn't know that story yet...well it is...
Qing: You tried to kidnap a piglet?
Me: It sounds nefarious and so evil when you say it like that.
Qing: You tried to kidnap a piglet. You...
Me: I almost died that time, Qing. The Momma Pig woke up and I haven't touched her babies yet. I swear. But she got angry that I invaded her home and if you have just seen the look on Momma Pig's eyes when she looked at me with fury in her eyes. My life flashed before my eyes. My soul shriveled in fear.
Qing: You are stupid. What you did was dangerous and stupid.
Me: Well, yeah. And so is calling my friends to help us. It'll be dangerous and stupid. Like I said, they will laugh first and tell you embarrassing stories about me and then they will tell you that you are better off letting me stew here.
Qing: Okay, stand away from the door again, Love. And also, are you sure they are your bestfriends?
Me: (standing away from the door) Of course! They jumped on that corral to lift me out of there and climbed out again before Momma Pig pummeled us to our deaths. I told you, Meng, Xiao and I will die for each other.
Qing: Sure, that is great. But please, don't die for each other. Just...don't be stupid.
Qing started slamming, I don't know what, on the door and it still won't budge. I already pity my fiancé. Qing is doing everything he can to get me out of being trap and all I do is make it harder for him to work.
Me: Maybe you should stop.
Qing: What?!
Me: (a bit louder) I said, maybe we should stop now! It's not working. Maybe we should wait for tomorrow and call for a locksmith again to get me out of here.
Qing: (sounding stunned) Are you...already giving up?
Me: (sitting on the tiled floor) Yes, Qing. I am already giving up. Stop trying, you are just tiring yourself. Tell my parents I love them. Your parents too. Heck, tell Zhu gege I love him. And sure, call my bestfriends, I want to listen to their voices before I...
Qing: (exasperated) You are not dying you know...you are trapped inside a bathroom of a luxurious condo. With airconditioning and working toilet. Spare me the drama.
Me: Oh...yeah...right.
Qing laughed outside and I smiled. At least I made him laugh. That should count to something, right?
(It is everything, Dayu ah. You make Baba happy, that is everything...)
Right. As long as I can make Qing happy. See, even if I am trapped in a bathroom with a door, this stupid door, between us...I can still make my fiancé happy. Don't give up on making your loved ones happy, people. There are many ways you can do to make them happy.
Qing continued working on the door. It took him another ten minutes before we heard an audible crack on its defenses. The lower part of the door is giving in.
Me: (hope blossoming) Its working.
Qing: Yeah, it is! Stand back.
Me: Be careful. Don't get any splinters.
Qing: I won't. It'll be over soon, Love. We will be together again.
Gosh we are so dramatic. I love it.
Then Qing, using a hammer I think, started working on the upper side of the door, near the hinged part. It took twenty blows before that part started cracking under the onslaught of Qing's attack on it and soon, the hinge broke on that part. Qing went lower and worked on the next hinge. When that gave out, the door suddenly tilted and we finally saw glimpses of each other.
Me: I can see you! Oh god, I love you!
Qing: (laughing) Who's your knight in shining armor now, Fiona?
Me: You are, Shrek!
Qing kicked the part where the jammed lock is. After the fifth kick, the door flew open and we were revealed to each other.
Qing: (smiling smugly) I'm here now, Love. Did you miss me?
Me: You have no idea.
I ran to him and hugged Qing. He is a bit sweaty from all that exercise of destroying our bathroom door but I love him more than ever. Qing held me tight as well and when I leaned out, we laugh together. Qing leaned his head down to kiss me.
Our kiss could destroy the kisses on perfume commercials. It sure is more real and passionate.
Qing: (after that kiss) So...about that blowjob...
Me: Later. Lets take care of the door first.
Qing: Right.
We completely pulled the door off the frame and put it on the utility room. We cleaned up the mess: the chocolate wrapper and splintered woods...then I mopped the floor again. Once that was all done, Qing and I surveyed our sans door bathroom.
Qing: I mean it doesn't look that bad.
Me: Yeah. We will just be exposed when we are taking a dump but other than that, it's fine.
Qing winced and we decided to look for a solution to that. The solution we found consist of a Ushaped metal rail and thick shower curtains. We got the supplies then Qing and I worked together to screw the Ushaped railing on the wall above the toilet, clasped the rings of the shower curtain on it and voila...we now our toilet looks like a fitting room in a department store.
Qing: That'll do in a jiffy.
Me: That will be on until next year. Unless we get a temporary door.
Qing: Yeah, no. Lets save the money for the actual renovation.
Me: Right. (Turning to him) Okay, we had our exercise and we are both sweaty. How about a shower together?
Qing: (pulling his shirt off) Deal.
We got naked and jumped inside the shower stall together. My knight received his reward there. I knelt on the floor to suck his dick in my mouth. Lapping at the slit and licking him up like he is my favorite popsicle. Qing took his time fucking my mouth. When he finally spilled I welcomed it gratefully because I think my lips are already starting to feel sore.
Then Qing pulled me to my feet and gripped my dick so he can tug at it. I sobbed and moan while he coaxed my cum out by jerking me expertly. Qing knows how to nudge that space under the head of my dick and push his thumb on the slit to make me crazy. We also kept our tongues on each other mouths because why not. I love kissing while my guy jerk me off.
It was a miracle we walked out of the shower stall and not crawl out of it. Qing helped to dry my hair and he snuggled with me on the bed until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found out he left me on our bed as soon I started snoring to go back to his phone. He said those hours of me napping was productive.
How dare he?! And also good for him.
Like I said, we jokingly shared this story to our loved ones and not all of them got worried like my Baba. But Baba is special so, he has a pass to get worried.
Qing is scheduled to cook dinner tonight. I swear to all the gods, if he decided on a take out again like the last time it was his turn to cook, I am demanding seared scallops and salmon! I cook for him but Qing cheats by buying takeouts. He is bad.
(Did you complain to Baba about this the last he bought take outs?)
No. He brought chicken masala barbecue and I decided to let him live. But I swear this time, I will really go ballistic on his ass...after I have my scallops and salmon. Promise...
(You...)
Anyways, ciao!