Aubrey POV
I hesitantly approach and like the predator he is, he immediately snaps his head up to look at me, his prey. He wipes at his face and then comes running towards me, I stumble back slightly as he brings me into a bone crushing hug.
"Please.. please let go" I say struggling in this grip of the man I am so terrified of. He releases me and bends down to my level assessing my face, leaving two hands on my shoulder to assure I can't runaway.
"What's this?" he questions his eyes going dark as he swipes his thumb across my cheek and when he brings it in front of my face I see blood.
"Ple-ease j-just le-leave me a-alone" I stutter visibly trembling at how close we are. He looks me up at down and I see a wave of hurt flash across his face and he furrows his brow. I take a step backward but immediately he swoops me up and throws me over his shoulder.
"Pu-ut me-ee do-ow-own!" I stutter again banging my fists against his back. This has no effect as he proceeds to unlock my house with a key and enter. He plops me down on the couch so I am lying down and he is standing over me. I scramble to sit up but he pushes me back down with one large hand to my shoulder.
"IAN pl-plea-se-se" I stutter again, growing angry at him and my inability to speak properly.
"Angel please don't be scared" he almost whimpers grabbing my hand to hold, but I immediately snatch it back to my chest. He obviously sees the blood and his eyes darken and his jaw clenches.
"Where are you hurt?" he asks demandingly. Before I could answer he is forcibly taking off my hoodie. He growls when he sees my singlet covered in blood and as he goes to remove that too I bring my hand to encase his, causing him to stop and look at me with shock.
"Nno-no! It's n-not m-mine-ne!" I yell.
He brings his hands to run them through his hair and he lets out an exacerbated sigh "Where the fuck did you run off to? I have been going up and down all the streets looking for you and when I couldn't find you I thought you went home! But you weren't fucking there and you scared me half to death! I was worried sick and you didn't even answer your phone!" he says flustered his face turning red with anger and what looks to be his eyes growing wet.
I look at him in complete shock. I scared him half to death? This boy serious? He literally shot someone in front of me scaring me half to death and nearly scaring poor Alex to his death. I would say this but I am too paralysed by my fear, so I just stare up at him with wide eyes and gulp.
He mutters 'fuck' and then says with a softened voice "Whose blood is this angel?"
I just continue looking at him and trembling under his gaze he clenches his jaw and his face saddened like my fear pains him. When he sees I am not going to respond he looks as if he is about to say something but he stops himself and tugs at his hair in frustration.
"You will tell me, but first we should get you cleaned up" Ian says trying to soften his face to not scare me but we are way past that point.
I muster up the courage I have to whimper a weak "No" and shake my head.
"Yes" Ian says lowly and moves closer to me reaching out his hands to pick me up again.
"GET OUT!" I finally scream at his face. He stops immediately trying to reach me and he looks so shocked and hurt, his face twists with pain as my rejection looks to physically harm him.
It is finally starting to make sense, like the pieces of his half-truths are coming to fruition. Ian is part of a gang. It literally sounds so ridiculous now I say this, 'my boyfriend is a gang leader', bloody sounds like the title to some trashy romance- which I love to read but don't endeavour to live out.
How have I felt so comfortable with a man that uses a gun? I feel like I barely know the forlorn looking man standing above me, his eyes still look at me with adoration but I can't help but question everything.
Even though he said it was just his Dad that used to be in the rival gang to the Baxter's, I feel like Ian is in the same gang his Dad used to be. Unless that's a lie too, maybe his Dad was never in a gang and that was just some lie?
If he isn't in a gang then why else would he shoot someone in the leg and threaten their life if they don't do something in 3 days? Maybe he is a hitman, that just makes things worse.
If Ian is in a gang it starts to make sense why he lives in a mansion and there are always those intimidating look men dressed in all black. Holy shit. How did I not see this sooner? But one thing I'm not entirely ready to face is fact that those gang members called Ian boss.
Ian immediately straightens and retracts his hands and says "Angel please-"
Now he is out of reach I scramble to sit up straight and interrupt him "NO! Pl-please n-not n-now." I want to tell him we can talk another time but the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes stop me from talking. I am already a stuttering mess he doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
He sees the tears brimming in my eyes and again like the sight pains him his face twists in regret and he leans forward to try and comfort me. But the very action does the opposite, a tear spills and rolls down my cheek while I scramble further into the couch and away from his touch not wanting to risk talking to him again in fears he might hurt me. Even though deep down I know he would never, but maybe that is just how he manipulated me, that is why I need time to sort through the mess of my own thoughts.
Ian lets out a deep sigh and I close my eyes tight. I hear receding footsteps and a door close, I open my eyes and see my living room empty. I quickly rush to the front door and lock it, sliding down the door and sighing "Well that was one hell of a Friday night" wiping the tears from my cheeks
I trudge up the stairs feeling as if my mind is 5 steps behind every move I make. My body leads me to the bathroom, I don't bother unchanging and immediately step into the shower and turn on the water. The icy cold water blasts onto my face and I sigh, it slowly turns warm and I just stand there letting the water try to wash me away.
Suddenly I feel myself getting into bed, I stop immediately shocked at how I got here. I was so busy in my own thoughts I went into autopilot mode cleaning myself up.
--the next morning--
I wake up and it feels as if the light of day blinds me. I clamber out of bed and look at myself in the mirror. I have the biggest black circles under my eyes from my restless sleep and my hair is still slightly damp as I let it tumble out of the plait I put it in.
I look in my closet and go to reach for the sweatpants and hoodie but I instead decide to dress up slightly. Maybe if I look put together and happy on the outside it will do something about my confused and muddled inside.
Aubrey's outfit
As I exit my room to go and cobble together some poor excuse for breakfast I stop immediately in my tracks when I hear movement in the kitchen and the popping of something that smells like bacon. That is weird, my parent's shouldn't be back until next weekend. Thinking they have decided to come back early I continue down the stairs and start rehearsing how I might ask my mother to make me something for breakfast because I am useless.
"Hey mum I-" I say as I turn the corner into the kitchen but instead see the back of Ian dressed in his dark blue sweatshirt and black ripped jeans from last night causing me to bite down on my tongue.
When Ian hears me speak he turns from the stove to look at me his eyes holding adoration as he takes me in.
He turns back to the stove and says "Hey angel, just in time breakfast is almost ready"
WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING IN MY KITCHEN? Was last night some kind of fever dream? Most definitely not. Then why the hell is he acting like nothing happened?
"Ah Ian-" I start to say, still not moving from my spot, but instead he interrupts me.
"Angel take a seat" he says not turning around but instead piling food from the pan onto a plate.
I refuse to move and instead watch as he turns around with two plates full of bacon and eggs and places them down on the counter. He rolls his eyes in amusement when he sees I haven't moved and says "Baby come on". Don't 'baby' me, I scoff internally.
"Ian what the hell-" I say still planted.
"I'll explain what the hell if you sit down" he says clenching his jaw but still trying to be soft with me.
"Ian I-" I try to say again but am interrupted when Ian makes his way over to me and grabs my wrist. Despite me protesting his strength wins so he drags me and forces me into the seat.
He nods his head towards the plate that has scrambled eggs and some bacon I look at it then at him and blink in disbelief still not wrapping my tiny smooth brain over what the hell is going on.
From last night I have managed to deduct that Ian doesn't want to hurt me, yes he scares me but I know he won't hurt me. That's evidenced by the fact he pretended not to know me to protect me that time at school and if he didn't care he wouldn't have done that. But knowing this about him I am not entirely sure I fully know the man sitting across from me and despite the butterflies he gives me I can't deny the fear I also know feel around him.
"Eat" he orders and I tense and turn to pick up a fork.
"You weren't meant to see that" he says watching as I put a piece of egg on the fork.
"Yeah I gathered that" I mumble putting the food into my mouth.
"Angel look I have to-" he starts staring down at his plate like it could somehow transport him to somewhere else, but I interrupt him.
"Yeah you're in a gang." I sigh still not making eye contact with him but I notice his face morph into shock, while I just play with my eggs.
"How did- how?" he stumbles looking at me bewildered.
"I'm not an idiot, last night sort of put all the pieces together. I felt something was off and now I know" I say turning to look at Ian.
"Well you're not breaking up with me" Ian states coldly bringing food to his mouth.
"Ian you lied to me and you shot someone and that's the first thing you say?" I say completely astonished that is all he cares about.
"Look angel you don't understand he was a bad guy" he says gripping his fork tightly and looking at me intensely.
"You still shot someone! I feel like I don't know you Ian and I just am so-"
Ian interrupts me bringing his hands to sandwich my face "No angel I am still the same person... I am still your bear" he pinches my cheek and I just look at him with wide eyes before I can disagree he continues "He ripped us off and tried to get away with it, I would never-"
"Have you ever killed anyone?" I ask staring into his eyes and hoping to god the answer isn't yes.
"Angel you d-" he says looking away and bringing his hands to rest on my shoulders.
"It's pretty simple Ian, yes or no?" I say firmly.
He continues looking away and makes no move to speak. I guess I have my answer then.
"You should leave" I say sternly, shrugging off his hands and turning to face the counter.
"You are not ending this" he says aggressively and bringing his hands to my waist.
"IAN!" I shout trying to shake him off. When he refuses to let go of me I sigh and say "Look this isn't going to work" he is about to interrupt me but I bring my finger to his lips to shush him "We have completely different morals and values Ian. I really don't want to judge your lifestyle but I can't support it as your girlfriend. You deserve someone who shares your values and morals, and ours seem to be so different meaning this relationship was doomed from the start."
He grabs my hand and pins it down. "Angel I had no fucking clue what morals were until you came into my life. Yeah I did some fucked up shit and I regret so much. The people, well the people I-"
"Killed" I finish for him looking him in the eye like he was a stranger to me, his face pains at the expression I give him but he continues.
"They were bad people angel, real fucking bad." he trails off looking down at his grip on my waist. "This is one value we differ on, but I'm changing I-"
"The value of human life. I think that's a pretty important one Ian!" I scoff. "Ian you shouldn't have to feel you have to change for anyone" I add wriggling in his grip but he does not relent.
"Angel I fucking needed this change. You showed me what life can be and how to live, not just survive. It's like you made my fucking heart beat again. And I never want to go back, I am the me that's been trapped for so long. God this sounds so-"
"Ian" I gasp about how vulnerable he is being with me. He looks into my eyes his silver eyes flashing with regret and forlorn.
It makes me feel bad to say this but I do, knowing it will be better for the both of us. Well at least I think. "Ian we should have a break" I say looking down, not being able to look into his silver pools of sadness.
"No fucking way" he grits gripping onto me tighter.
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ayoooo i really should be studying lol. i have 3 exams the next 3 days so possibly the next update will be in around 4-7 days!
wooooo thank you for reading, please vote if you enjoyed!
Q: what is your favourite food?
A: ayoo these questions are bland i know, but my favourite food is waffles and any italian dish😌✌️
also this is probably cruel to you guys but i created a moodboard for aubrey and ians relationship aesthetic - yeah this is kind of cruel lmao. (if u spot a vape pls ignore, angel aubrey does not vape)