In hindsight, I should probably stop using men's restroom. Now, I know that may sound ridiculous, because it is ridiculous...how can you stop answering the call of nature...but you see, strange things happen to me when I am using the men's room and people following me there.
I even half wished it's Yohan again, proposing for us to hook up somewhere. Maybe that will give me some validation to punch his face or do any violence. But it was Theo who followed me this time. Qing said I should stop deluding myself in thinking it was all coincidence...Theo deliberately followed me in the bathroom...and I cannot punch his face because aside from annoyance...I also felt pity for the guy.
Qing said I should stop feeling emotions for people who doesn't deserve my emotions and I think he is right. But how can I not pity the guy, he is...pitiful.
So what happened was, I walked to the direction of the men's room but before I could even enter it, Theo was already at my heels. It started quite fine.
Theo: Need a little break?
Me: My bladder says its time.
We went inside the men's room and did our business. I washed my hands carefully, like I always do, and I think that was my mistake. I shouldn't have lingered and not give the other party an opportunity to ambush me.
But...I'm stupid so yeah...
Theo: (washing his hands on the other sink) How long have you and Qing known each other?
Me: Since first day of college. We met at the entrance exam. So...about a decade now.
Theo: And you two have been going out...
Me: Over four years.
Theo: Wow. Four years. That's impressive.
Me: Nah. You and Yohan are already talking about settling down. That's impressive. How long have you two been together?
Theo: On and off for almost six years.
Me: See? Six years. That could be consider achievement.
Theo: It is a lot of work. Dealing with Yohan ask for patience.
Me: Yeah? He seems like a steady guy.
Theo: (reaching for the paper towel) At times he is. Sometimes he is a lot of work. But I think I still got lucky. I could imagine I will be insane if I am with Qing.
That gave me a pause. I stared at Theo. He is...plain looking, as I said. His eyes a bit beady, his nose wide, his lips are full but not in the enticing way. His skin looked smooth enough but I think using good and expensive skin products helped a lot in that department. He is stylishly dressed and he smelled quite nice.
In short, he is not bad looking...as long as you won't compare him to anyone. And really, we should stop comparing because...oh what am I talking about. Its human nature to compare things and we are doomed to always be doing it.
Anyhow...back to him saying he will go insane if he got into a relationship with Qing.
Me: (reaching for a paper towel as well) (looking at our reflection in the wide mirror) Why do you say that?
Theo: Oh, Qing must not have mentioned it but our parents used to talk about forming a match between us.
I nodded. Yes, Qing didn't mention it but its not like I didn't know about it. Mama and JiJi mentioned it and they also made sure to make me understand that the idea of a match between Qing and Theo was all Mrs.Ching's idea. Theo's mother wanted Qing for her son. Mama refused that idea because of...well...she thinks Qing and Theo doesn't match at all.
I had to pretend to be surprise by that information.
Me: Really? You and Qing?
Theo: (casually flipping his hair) Yes. Me and Qing. Can you imagine?
Me: (flat tone) No I can't...
I really can't because the thought of Qing with another man, doesn't matter if its Theo or anyone else, just seems ridiculous. Its an image that makes me want to go to Qing, drag him somewhere we can be alone and me telling him every reason why being with anyone but me will be harmful for Qing's health.
(Harmful for Baba's health?)
He will die. By my hands if he ever think of being with someone else but me. Yes, Qing's possessiveness finally made a complete home on me. It has rubbed on me a hundred percent.
(LOL Dayu, you and Baba are the same now)
Yeah...it's a dizzying emotion. Me feeling possessive of Qing.
And Theo is still talking.
Theo: I'm glad that match didn't come through. I could never see the wisdom of me being with someone like Qing.
Me: Why? What does Qing seems to you?
Theo: (looking at me) I don't know. He seems overwhelming. Intimidating. Set on his ways. Uncontrollable.
Well...he is not wrong there. Qing could be all that. But being overwhelming, intimidating, rigid and uncontrollable doesn't encompass all of Qing. Qing is also loving, patient, generous, kind, supportive and great in bed.
(The last one is important?)
Sex is important in any romantic relationship. I know some couple would say its not so, I respect their stand, but in our relationship...sex is important to me and Qing.
Me: He could be that way but...
Theo: (not listening to me) I just know Qing and I won't suit.
Me: Right.
Theo: (staring at me) How do you do it though? Be with him?
Me: I...don't know. I just stay with him.
Theo: (nodding) Hmmm, I see. You must have a large storage of patience or you are someone comfortable letting the other party be in control.
Okay...can we pause here for a moment? Because really, I did so many reflections and discovered many revelations on myself when I think about that he said.
Comfortable in letting others be in control.
Hmmm, lets see. If I will be completely honest, yes...I am quite comfortable letting others be in charge or make decisions about certain things. I mean, I don't have to have the last say on everything. I am fine being the follower and taking the backseat. But there is a certain thing you need to have for me to be comfortable following you and let you be in charge.
I have to trust you. That's why I am okay letting others be in charge because I trust their judgments. And if there is someone I explicitly trust with his judgments, its Qing. I could say this in confidence, I sometimes trust Qing on certain matters more than I trust myself. So yeah, there are moments I let Qing be in charge of our relationship.
But if you all start thinking that Qing runs this show, wow...you should tell him that. Because for Qing...
Qing: You had me wrapped around your little fingers. I am practically your puppet. To get me to say yes to moving your plants around in the balcony and kitchen...
Me: Is that a complaint? Are you complaining?
Qing: Did I say I am complaining? I am not.
Me: Good.
See? Anyways...back to Theo...
Me: Well...
Theo: Anyways, I mean no insult. I just can't imagine it, why anyone would choose to pursue someone like Qing. I'm really glad that the match between us our parents were cooking didn't come to fruition.
Me: But I didn't pursue Qing. He courted me.
That made Theo stop. He blinked at me. I sighed inwardly.
Me: Qing was the one who asked me to be with him. I actually set some impossible things I want before I said yes to him but Qing did all he can to give them all to me and that made me think that he must be serious to be with me so...I decided to say yes. I mean, to be honest, I never thought someone would go to such length just to prove to me that they really want me. Qing was the first person to ever literally show me that he will go anyplace and do anything just to be with me. It was so sweet so he convinced me to give a relationship with him a try.
Theo: (looking like he swallowed something unpleasant) I...see...
Me: (nodding as I put the paper towel in the trash) But yes, I agree. I am happy too that the talk of a match between you and Qing didn't go anywhere. I mean, can you imagine it? You with Qing instead of the man you love. You will soon marry Yohan, you must be so happy with him.
Theo: (swallowing visibly) Yes, I am happy with him.
Me: (smiling as I took another paper towel and folded it) Good for you. I am glad for you and Yohan.
And since I am petty, I deliberately wipe my face with a paper towel using my hand adorned with my engagement ring. Deliberately putting in display.
Theo: That's a nice looking ring. I noticed it awhile ago when Qing kissed your hand.
Me: Oh this ring? (gazing fondly at my ring) Qing gave it to me two days after Christmas last year. He sort of proposed to me in a field of snow. The sky was clear, a little cold but the heat of our love warmed us thoroughly. It was so beautiful.
(*choking* Heat of your love?! Goodness you...that's not what happened)
Shush! Shush all of you.
Theo: (stony faced) So you two are getting married as well?
Me: Oh...not really. We are not in any hurry. Qing and I are already living together. His family adores me and my family loves Qing as well. We have the approval of every party so we are not anticipating any problem. Qing and I just can't seem to agree on a certain date on when to get married. I want it after five years but Qing is only willing to wait for another two years. (laughing softly) That guy, he is just so eager to make me his. I cannot with him sometimes.
(Stop Dayu ah! He is dead already! Stop!)
I won't. How dare this Theo make it sound like there is something wrong with Qing and he is relieved that he was not matched to my fiancé! How dare he...
Oh wait...
If they matched, that would mean they could be together when Qing started pursuing me and...
Oh what the hell am I thinking?! Qing won't go for this guy. Qing is right. Theo thinks he is better than anyone. And I think Qing's animosity towards Theo is reciprocal. Theo doesn't like Qing as well. Maybe they had a fight when they were still in highschool about the school yearbook or something that sounds equally stupid. I don't know.
I took a deep breath to look at Theo who now frown at me.
Me: You are right. I am glad that whatever match between you and Qing that your parents talked about with his didn't push through. I sure cannot imagine you with my boyfriend.
Theo: (crossing his arms over his chest) Qing is not all that, you know. He is not the biggest catch in this sea. There are someone better than him.
Me: (nodding) Of course there are people better than Qing. I am not gonna dispute that. But to me, he is just right. To me, he is better than everything. (gazing at my ring) And he is the man I wish one day to spend the rest of my life with. (looking at Theo again) I hope you are happy for us.
Theo: (shrugging) Sure. Goodluck to the both of you.
After saying that, Theo threw the crumpled paper towel on his hand to the trash bin before walking out of the men's room. I sighed and took some moments to calm myself. I don't want Qing to notice that something unpleasant happened to me.
When I went out to go back to Qing and his mother's side, I am perfectly composed and all smile again. Ready to socialize. Which is the whole point of this event. To socialize.
I just hope that I will stop socializing in the men's room. Not again. Not ever.