Luke
This is clearly a long shot. I had a better chance of finding a Bobby pin in a needle stack. But as I have shown all of you these past forty eight hours, I am very good at being dumb.
It's a skill.
The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
And I am clearly on some top level stupid.
The entire room was silent. Everyone had given me a look of bewilderment after the words came out of my mouth, they quickly switched to staring at Stormella with caution.
I know she is going to say no. There is no way she won't.
Her eyebrows were furrowed and I could tell she was trying to find a polite way to say no. Here I am putting her in awkward situations again.
Selfishness is also a skill.
"Why?" Ashton said it for her and for a spilt second I felt that familiar rage I had, back when I was fucking around. A deep breath made it go away though.
Of course Ashton would take control of this. He's always sticking himself in other people's business. In fact, you think he'd be happy to have her come since he thinks he can just fuck her too.
Isn't there some rule about fucking your friends ex?
Actually, she wasn't even my girlfriend. She wasn't really anything to me then.
Lying is a skill too.
But we weren't dating so I guess that rule doesn't apply.
"I want to make it up to her." I said as I looked to her, meeting her eyes before she looked to Ashton.
"And what is your definition of 'making it up to her?'" Michael asked.
"Whatever she wants."
"You're not flying her out and fucking with her feelings again." Calum said quietly.
I wanted to elbow him for saying it but I didn't. It took all of my self control.
"Could I talk to Luke alone?" Stormella asked before anyone could say anything else.
Michael and Calum nodded and headed for the front door. Ashton hesitated for a moment but followed the other boys. Once the door closed I felt my body tense up.
She walked over and sat on the couch. Putting her hands on her face.
"Luke, you do realize what you did to me and how you treated me was wrong, right?"
I nodded but then realized she couldn't see me.
"Yes." I answered.
Did she think I didn't spend a lot of time reflecting on that? In rehab and after.
She didn't saying anything so I sat beside her on the couch.
"I want to make it up to you." I paused, searching for something other than that to prove that I really was sorry. "I know that I hurt you, and I am so sorry. I know that what I just did doesn't help my case, but I really do feel terrible."
She was quiet for a long time.
After a minute she sighed.
"Luke, you do realize that I don't like you like I used to right?" She said quietly.
What does that mean? She doesn't like me like when we were friends? Or did she mean the other way?
"Not in that way." I said.
Definitely not in that way, I didn't even like her then.
Just keep lying to yourself Luke. Fake it till you make it.
"I just want to get you away from here for awhile. Away from the stress of your job, responsibilities." I explained.
She laughed dryly and shook her head.
"Luke. Things aren't that simple. I don't know how it works for you, but people with normal jobs can't just quit showing up for extended periods of time. In fact, I like my job. I get paid well, benefits, and I get to attend concerts for free. Last time I went with you I lost my job. I can't just leave Kylie with all the bills, that's selfish." She stated.
I nodded.
I already thought of that.
"Well I'll just pay all the bills for however long you're with me."
She was silent for a long time before she shook her head.
"No Luke, I can't. I can't take your money and I can't go if you don't have a set time frame."
"A week." I tried, that way I could try to make her stay a little longer once she's there.
She didn't say anything again.
"Luke I won't take your money." She said genuinely. "It feels wrong and I don't like feeling like I'm mooching off of someone."
"It's not mooching if I'm offering. Plus I have plenty of money." I tried to convince her.
She shook her head.
Stormella
He kept pushing, and it was getting hard to say no.
I liked Luke, I used to, I thought maybe we had a chance back then. Kinda. And after everything he had said and done to me, I found it frightening that I wanted to go with him.
I found it frightening that I could potentially put myself in back into a situation that hurt me. That made me feel so helpless and small, disgusting. That after all of it, I was enticed by the invitation.
I might be saying no, but every other part of me was saying yes.
It was so stupid, he literally pretended to be someone else to try and talk to me.
It was just a week though.
A week.
The other boys were my friends.
I could just hang out with them and keep Luke at a distance.
I could also see if Luke really changed.
He allowed me to be silent and think these things over, I could see it on his face though, he really wanted to say something. I nodded for him to speak.
"It's just." He paused and rubbed his hands over his face before meeting my eyes. "In rehab we talked about making amends to people we hurt because of our addictions." He leaned back and sighed heavily. "I knew that I would be able to apologize to the guys, I knew they would eventually forgive me, it didn't bother me as much." Then he paused again and met my eyes. "You were in the front of my mind. Every time we talked about making amends, I always thought about you. I've been thinking about it. That's why I pulled this stupid thing. I didn't know how I was going to be able to do it, I didn't know if I would ever be able to. That's why I pretended to be Vic."
I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say.
"I am an idiot, I know you know that, but I am sorry that I treated you like you were nothing, used you, and then pretended to be someone I wasn't." I could tell he was really trying to show me he meant it. "I can't express it to you with words." He finally sighed. "That's why I want you to come with me. I want to take you where you want to go in LA, I don't care if it's all day the whole week. I don't even care if you'd rather go with the guys and leave me home, I'll pay for it, whatever shows you that I truly do mean it."
He slapped his hands down against his thighs with and exhausted exhale, signaling he was finished. He leaned his head back against the cushion on the couch, sliding his eyes to me.
For a spilt second I felt that dangerous feeling. The one that fueled our fire but burned us just the same. Like the first night we saw each other, where we were drawn to one another.
That scared me more than anything.
I was terrified of the sincere look in his sky blue eyes. The way they told me he meant every word he said. The way they asked me to come with him, the way that I knew Kylie was going to strangle me when she found out.
Maybe I don't like him the way I used to, but that doesn't mean that it's not there. It might be hidden under a rug somewhere in my brain, just waiting for me to step on it so it can pull itself from under me.
There was something Luke and I both had in common, being idiots when it comes to making decisions.
"I'll go."
He sat up slowly, as if moving too fast might startle me and make me change my answer. His look of a mixture of hopelessness and regret was wiped away by a huge, painful looking smile. He didn't hesitate to pull me into the tightest hug I had ever received.
"Thank you, Stormella." He whispered against my hair.
.....
Hey there, it's me. I hope you all are doing well and enjoyed that lovely year long break. I'm sorry that it had been that long, this chapter really stressed me out because I felt like I had to move it along too fast for how I want the story to go. Obviously, this is fiction, I don't need to stress too much over it because whether or not it seems "too fast" doesn't matter. What does matter is that I finish this story.
I have been trying to find a way to end the story. This wasn't supposed to be this long in the first place. When I first started writing it Wattpad hadn't completely gone to shit yet. That's another reason it's been so long, this app honestly stresses me out now, which sucks cause I used to love it. With all the ads and pay walls though it just bothers me.
Anyways, I'm gonna finish this shit. Thank you to all of you who have put up with my disappearances, you guys truly are the best and I really appreciate you for giving my writing the time of day.
With all that being said, I'm not sure how many chapters are left. Maybe three? I'm trying to pick something that I can do quickly before I get distracted by something else, but I don't want it to be too quickly.