I recollect myself when I see the people around me grinning warmly, although it breaks my heart that Mingyu is not here with me to witness this wonderful moment. I assure my heart that he's probably stuck somewhere and I'll see him soon and that he's fine and healthy. "Hey, where's he? Where is Mingyu?"
Silence emerges abruptly, they look at each other and everywhere else excpet for my eyes. It's evident enough that they are attempting to avoid my question.
But why?
I don't give up, "Excuse me cowards I'm asking something." I'll forever call them cowards, crybabies, scaredy cats and so on after this night. I'm not saying that they're a bunch of cowards, but that's exactly what I'm saying.
Sorry not sorry.
"Guys seriously where's he?" The playfulness in my voice is gone, because they're doing everything they can to avoid my inquiry. Jeonghan fakes a chuckle and scratches the back of his head, the muscles inside his jaw tenses and I see a roll swirling down his throat when he thinks of the possible answers to my question.
"H-he is uhh he.. oh yeah! He's at his home town t-to visit his parents because umm... his m-mom is sick! Yes she's sick. Right guys?"
He glances at the others with a hardened look in his eyes, they all quickly agree by nodding. I'm not really persuaded by his answer because he was noticeably stuttering while talking. I've known my brother long enough, so I'm quite acquainted with all his habits, speaking manners and gestures.
He only stutteres when he's nervous or when he is trying to lie.
What is making him nervous? Why's he trying to lie? Is he really telling the truth or is he trying to hide something?
I want to interrogate him about Mingyu so bad but he doesn't let me. "Why don't you explain everything to us now?" At this moment, his demand turns out to be more crucial than me cross-examining him to figure out if he's actually lying or not.
We sit down on the floor in circle. "You guys ready?" They incline instantly, the eagerness and excitement being prominent on their faces. I expel a heavy breath.
"This is my second life."
They frown and my dumbass thinks that they're smart enough to understand with just that. They don't of course.
"You were reborn?"
"You can say that. I'll start everything from where it ended. When I was dying, the moon spirit made a promise to me. She told that there'll be hunters left to hunt me, even after my death. If one day, these hunters disappear for good, if the danger is eliminated then I shall be granted a second life. A second chance to see the world for a bit longer, as a reward for all my good deeds. Can't believe it took 6 years for these fuc- no no I mean hunters. Ruthless hunters to disappear for good and for me to return back to this world again."
I laugh at myself for the part where I was about to curse. I wouldn't do that infront of Joshua ever again.
They're staring at me with disbelieve. Nothing more. Nothing less. I know they want to believe me, but it is indeed true that it's too hard for them. So I'm willing to give them time, so that they can apprehend the current situation and the reality, which is more likely to be a miracle. "Where were you all this time?" Jihoon asks, hesitating.
"The underworld. It's a world for lost and wandering souls. Those who are lost betwen life and death are destined to stay there, in the underworld."
At least that's what Eunwoo told me.
"Like ghosts?" I chuckle silently. "Yeah you can say that." They're still stuck with that ghost theory. Maybe I should turn myself into a real ghost and prank them later in their sleep. It'll be legendary if they get too scared and pee their pants. I'll shoot a video of it and blackmail them later with it.
Wow I'm a genius.
Oh my god I shouldn't be thinking about this things right now. Snap out of it Miyeon.
"Were you lost between life and death like them?" Wonwoo questions me with a conflicted expression. "I sacrificed myself willingly. However, a part inside me wanted to live so badly. So so badly that I ended up being lost and found myself inside the underworld. I had ties with this world which I couldn't cut off, no matter how much I tried." I pause, needing a moment.
"You must be wondering why the hunters had to vanish for that. It's because if I returned that time and not now; it would be pointless. Because they would've tried to kill me again. Then my second life would've been nothing but useless." I sigh, dropping my shoulders.
I'm giving them time after time to process because they need it. I can't wilfully rush things. It'll be tough for them to adapt with this unexpected change, but they need to. Because if they don't accept me and learn to adapt, I'll have no meaning to this new life. I'll have no where to go. I'm being selfish, I'm desperate; my hands are chained together and only an optimistic answer from them can unchain it.
The air is heavy, like their enigmatic expressions. The sound of their hefty breaths and sighs feels so frail against this dominating silence. Today, I've perfected the art of patience and dealing with rigid silence.
I raise my head to meet their eyes, their potent gaze is concentrated on me and me only and it's making me uneasy. I think they're now ready to present their opinions before me, after fifteen solid minutes.
"I don't know how this miracle happened but...." The suspense inside each word he speaks is tormenting me; Jeonghan is taking too long to finish whatever he was planning to say. He isn't thinking, he is not being ambivalent. The words are just jam packed inside him and I can tell just by looking at his eyes that it's pressuring him. But he is too taken aback and drained to fight that pressure back.
I would've hugged him and told him that it's okay, he can take a break and rest; I would've offered him comfort.
But this time, I can't. For the sake of my future and myself, I need him to stay strong and fight back every negative thought, burden and uncertainty.
Please hang in tight Jeonghan.
"I'm so so glad and grateful that you're back to me. To us. I'm so so happy. Today is the craziest and happiest day of my life."
I love the way he is tearing up while saying that. It shows that he's sincere and true to his words. I hate that seeing him cry is making me and everyone cry too.
I'm over the moon, I feel like floating.
"Miyeon is back in the house babies!"
"Yes. Our wild and rampaging Miyeon is finally back in business. She's back to steal all our snacks shamelessly and annoy the hell out of everyone. Also, to shower us with her infinite love and hugs." Hoshi announces, all hyped up. Everyone laughs, they look so delighted and carefree.
"Say the first thing again and I'll make sure to slice your head off your shoulders." I gesture while playfully glaring. They laugh loudly again, their laughs are like music to my ears.
I'm finally happy after all these years.
We all are happy.
Everything is perfect.
When everything is so euphoric and flawless, I wonder.
Where the hell are you Mingyu?
***
"Mind telling me what happened to that pretty hair of yours?" I ask Jeonghan while he's fixing the bedsheet and setting up pillows. We're done with the explaining, understanding and snot wiping session. After that, he told me to stay with him because my room is apparently locked, there's nothing there except for plain dust.
"After what happened, I thought I needed a change. That's why I cut it." He replies, running a hand against the back of his neck. His long silky shiny glazy dark brown coloured hair is gone, it's above his neck now like the rest of the boys. He dyed it auburn. It makes him look more manly and appealing but he declines it, saying he still regrets chopping off his graceful hair.
His hair was his biggest flex back then.
I tell him that a change in look is just fine and he looks good with it, also that he's actually saving a lot of water, shampoo and conditioner. Not to mention, electricity because long hair takes time to dry. So he's basically saving a great amount of money.
Now I'm thinking that it's better if I shave my head off.
He pulls in the comforter, we both look at the blank ceiling. None of us want to sleep because there's so much we want to talk about and so much that I missed. I go first. "So, spill the tea."
He knows exactly what I'm referring to by 'spill the tea' so he starts speaking. "Well coups is working as a rap mentor. Joshua is a idol. Guess what? I'm an idol too. Three of us including Hoshi, The8 and Woozi are in the same company." He chrips as he rolls onto my side and directly faces me. "Wohoooo look at you being a celebrity already." I poke his tummy using my toe. "Not a celebrity type of celebrity but kinda famous." He shrugs. Okay.
"Woozi works as a producer. That boy is a pro. He composes songs for us and for the other idols. Hoshi is a dance mentor and renowned choreographer. He's thinking of establishing his own dance studio. Wonwoo is an artist. He holds exhibition twice or thrice in a month and his paintings are sold at a high price. He also raps, he might join the company later. But there's 90 percent chance that he won't. Because he loves art more than anything."
Never thought Wonwoo would pick art as a career. I always thought he liked to rap. I wonder what changed his mind.
"Jun is a professor in an university. Dokyeom is an actor, also a host in music programmes since he likes to sing. He's also studying veterinary medicine as a hobby. The8 is same as Hoshi. Vernon and Seungkwan are doing internship in a well known company. Amazing how they're still together. And Chan is still continuing his studies. He'll graduate from university after 2 month. He's really determined about dancing so I think he'll choose it as a career."
I smile like a proud mother at his words. They've all chosen different career paths for themselves yet they live together like before. The bonding between them is astounding.
They have grown so much, I absolutely hate that I couldn't witness it and live the moments with them. But I'm also happy because I get to be a part of their future and nothing else matters than this.
"You got a girlfriend?" I ask with a playfulness in my voice. He looks away, flustrated. "Y-yeah." The tint of scarlet rises to his ears as he tries to cover his face using the gigantic teddy bear stuff toy beside him.
Gosh he's so cute when he is blushing.
Yes he's all grown up, he's taking care of 12 boys singlehandedly, he's basically the mother of the group, he's a not-celebrity-type-of-celebrity but kinda-famous person, he got a girlfriend. Yet, he's still scared of sleeping alone. Not to mention, he even named his teddy bear TimTim and addresses it as 'best buddy Tim'.
He's a big softie baby.
"What about the others? They got girlfriends?"
"Excpet for me, Coups, Joshua, Vernon, Seungkwan and The8 everyone is shining solo."
Oh.
Speaking of 12 boys... "What about Mingyu?" I ask with ascending expectations, at the same time I'm nervous about the outcomes. It's not like I'll be disappointed if he moves on, but other part of me solemnly hopes that he didn't.
Because I still love him.
There's something strange in Jeonghan's eyes that tell me that he doesn't want to answer me but he can't say it to my face either.
He's upto something.
"Ha- HACCCHUUUUU!"
Unexpectedly he sneezes loudly against TimTim's fluffy fleecy tummy, causing me to flinch. Though I would put it up as fakes it. "You must be cold. Both of us are tired and we should sleep. Goodnight Mimi." He doesn't spare me a moment to protest because he is already snoring. That might be fake too. But there's nothing much I can complain about because it's true that both of us are tired and we need rest.
As a matter of fact, he's eluding me or at least trying; whenever I bring up Mingyu's topic. This is starting to make me anxious and uneasy, the ignorant tone in his voice is making me apprehensive. I convince myself no less than hundred times a day that Mingyu is at his hometown like the others said and he'll be back before I know it.
But I'm worried.
He was the first one I wanted to greet after I returned, he was the first one I wanted to hug.
I really hope that he's okay.
***
Sorry if it was boring. It was heckin long too haha. But at least, yall got to know the story. If you have any confusions, feel free to leave a comment down below. Take care guys!