Alaia's POV
I wake up to a quiet room. Nick's side of the bed is empty and cold, it seems he didn't sleep here. I vaguely remember talking to him last night but i don't know if it actually happened or if it was just a dream.
I lean back into the pillows and recall yesterday's events, and Nick's words come crushing down on me, and I remember crying myself to sleep on the couch.
Just knowing what he thinks of me now, what he thinks of my family, makes the hurt start all over again. I know what dad did, and what i also did in agreeing to marring him and accepting his conditions, is not very honorable, and it's not something i take lightly, or ever thought i would find myself doing in life....but the way he said it, made me feel so insignificant and worthless, immoral and ashamed, and it hurt so much.
We are not bad people who are greedy for wealth and riches, we just found ourselves in a situation where this felt like the only solution, at the very least i thought he understood, but i was wrong.
He thinks nothing of us, and especially of me. I need to remember that and guard my heart from any more disappointment from now on.
*
"Hey there, can i come in?" Marco asks from his position at the door an hour or so later.
"Sure"
"How are you doing....? Have you had breakfast yet?"
"Yes" I did, after missing a meal, i was actually really hungry today. Plus i would rather avoid Nick coming in here with another tantrum.
"Great" he responds nonchalantly.
Silence.
I remember Marco was there last night and saw everything, and i just want to hide due to embarrassment. He must think the worst of me and my family too.
"Do you want to do something... I can take you for a walk outside the house, the fresh air will do you good." he breaks the silence.
"Marco, about last night....... "
"Ally, You don't owe me any explanation You don't owe anybody an explanation. Not even Nick. We all know the nature of your relationship" he utters instead.
I sigh
"I just feel like i need to talk to someone"
"Ok... Shoot..i can listen" he says.
So i tell him about me and Jude.. Our history and what really happened last night.
But to be honest, Nick was right, Jude kissed me and i didn't stop him fast enough, but when he hugged me, i didn't realise until that moment how much i missed Jude.
But i did not anticipate the amount of guilt i would feel afterwards. As if i had cheated on Nick. Even though he has a girlfriend, i think, i would have liked to be loyal to him, because that's Who i am. But after everything he said, i guess it doesn't matter because he made it clear i mean nothing to him.
*
I was surprised when Zara and Sienna came over later that afternoon.
Lola and Zara really hit it off. Despite their different up bringings and backgrounds, they formed a fast friendship.
We have lunch by the Gazebo near the garden and it is lovely.
I still have not heard from Nick and i am beginning to feel more restless as the day goes by.
"So, since Nick is out of town, maybe you guys can stay for a sleep over, what do you think?" Lola suggests to my Sisters.
Out of town?
"Nick is out of town?" the words come out of my mouth, before i am able to control myself.
"Yeah.. left for Seoul this morning... You don't know? You two sleep in the same bed and you didn't know" She utters innocently.
I just smile awkwardly.
"Oohh". She says, after seeing my embarrassment.
So he left town and didn't even say anything to me. i don't expect that to hurt, but i does. I know i decided i wouldn't care about him and what he does with his life, but somehow i do and it hurt.
"Are you ok?" Sienna asks when we get a chance to be alone.
"Yeah... i am ok" i lie, but i know she can see right through me.
"What happened with you two last night, after you left?" she asks.
"We argued a little... " I confess.
"About Jude? he told us what happened outside"
"Yes.. Among other things.....but it's ok, its better this way anyway... atleast now we both know where we stand, and we can keep a distance from each other. It's for the best...Don't worry" I say trying to convince myself as much as her.
Sienna didn't say anything else in return, and just squeezed my hand.
*****
One day turned into two, then three and four and no sign of Nick still. The more days went by, the more anxious i became about meeting him again.
Marco followed me around like a shadow, dropping in at random times to check on me, taking me for walks and showing up at meal times, to make sure i eat, or accompany me to the table with everyone else.
We were chilling by the pool side one day, when i asked randomly.
"So, do you know when Nick will be back"
"Could be today, or tomorrow, or in a couple of more days" he responds.
Gee, thanks for narrowing it down.
"Do you miss him? "He asks suddenly.
"TSssst... No.. I was just curious.. I don't really care" i reply hurriedly.
He laughs in response.
"Sure you don't.... You know, you guys caught feelings alot sooner than i expected" he mumbles.
"I didn't catch any feelings. i quickly respond, then add.
You think Nick has caught feelings for me? "
I ask, but immediately wish i hadn't.
I don't want to know the answer, because i know it, but hearing it from someone else will just make that much more real.
"Maybe.. Judging from his reaction the other night, i would say yes." That is not what i expected him to say.
"I know I would...You are beautiful Ally, and now that i have gotten to know you better, i realise you are more than just beautiful on the outside, but you have a great personality too..i like your spirit. Plus you stand up to Nick, not many people do that. I think he likes that about you" he adds.
"I can think of a million reason why that's not true " i scoff.
"Oh yeah? Name three"
"Why three? "
Why three?
" Wanna go for five, ten maybe?"
"Were you guys taught to be this arrogant? Or it's just your mother's genes shining through?" I retort.
"Hahahaha...Funny huh.. Touch'e princess... Touch'e" he responds.
"One, am blind, two, i don't have a college education, and three, i come from a humble background, four, i am not as sophisticated as the women he is used to, and five, we don't.......view the world in the same way.....Oh, i believe that was five after all." i murmur, trying to make light of the situation.
"None of that shit really matters except maybe for the last one." he replies.
"Tell that to your Mom..and the rest of the world...Anyway, lets talk about something else?" i suggest.
"Sure... But let me just say that Nick... He has been through alot, especially where his heart is concerned, and just some other shit too ok. That's why he can be kind of hot and cold sometimes, he doesn't like to wear his heart on his sleeve, or really just prefers not to reveal his sentimental side, But give him some time, he is a good guy, he will come around"
"He is not the only one who has been through stuff. My life hasn't exactly been a walk in the park Marco, i am treated differently, and sometimes, inferior to everyone else. To anyone else. That's my life. The last thing i need is to care for someone who doesn't feel the same, it will only leave me, disappointed, hurt and alone, and quite frankly, i would rather not. Besides, he is not my type anyway" i say.
He chuckles.
"And what is your type?"
"Not him" i snap.
"Too bad then... Cause i think you already do care for him...question is, what are you gonna do about it?"
"Do about what?" Lola asks, sitting down next to me.
"This beautiful weather, trying to get her to swim" Marco supplies quickly.
"I told you i can't swim"
"No shit! Really? I'll teach you then" Marco offers hastily.
"You and Ally, wet and half naked in the pool.. Yeah.. Rest in peace bro, cause Nick will kill you." Lola tells him.
"Fair point, but he isn't here, and i really want to teach you. C'mon, it will be fun..i am sure you will be a pro by tomorrow" he insists.
"No thanks"
"C'mon Ally.. Live a little. We have this huge pool right here, and the water looks amazing...and it's warm. C'mon, You never want to do anything fun"
"Nope...I am enjoying my peace, thank you very much, besides i hate water."
"Only because you can't swim, it's an important life skill to have, incase of an emergency. Listen, let's just try, if you are uncomfortable at any point, we'll stop" he offers
"Bad idea i tell you, Nick won't like you touching Ally like that" Lola taunts.
"Ohh shut up Lola! go make yourself useful somewhere else" Marco snaps at her.
"I am just trying to........ Ounch! what's your problem dude?" She screams.
I burst out laughing...These two are impossible.
"Don't you have a girlfriend or something. Leave Ally alone" Lola utters
"Keep talking little girl, and i will drown you" Marco threatens.
"Stop it kids, does one of you need a diaper change?" i tease them.
"You know I am older than you right? " Marco retorts.
"Well, you don't act like it sometimes"
"Whatever, so, are we doing it or what? "
"Doing what? " i ask confused.
"Swimming"
"Marco!!!!!! " Both Lola and I say at the same time exasperated.
Boy doesn't take no for an answer.
"Fine.. Let me know when you change your mind." he says, then adds suddenly.
"I dare you Lola... Say one more word"
I burst out laughing again.
"Actually, how old are you really? " i ask Marco.
"Twenty five" Huh... Then how old is Nick?
"And Aaron? "
"Twenty nine.......... Nick will be thirty four if that's what you want to know" he states after i go quiet after he mentions Aaron's age.
"Ohh"
Ohh wow. He acts like he is a teenager on hormones' sometimes, i think to myself, causing a small smile to build on my face.
That's a huge age difference between us though. Ten years.
But i like the idea of being with an older guy, then again maybe that's another reason why we can't work out, maybe i am too young for him.
*****
It's now been 6days since Nick has been gone, not that am counting or anything, and i have not heard from him even once. I made it a point to have dinner at the table since he left, decided i wouldn't be hiding anymore.
"Alaia, i have an event i would like you to accompany me to.. I was going to go with Rhea, but since she is in Korea with Nick, you should come with me instead...Afterall, we really should start to get to know each other better." Rhea is with Nick? I bet she was dying to let me in on that information.
I lost my appetite at that point, but i wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of seeing me bothered.
"Why not, seeing that Rhea is busy, i will do her a favor and accompany you. Just let me when" i say proudly.
"I'll come too, i don't have much to do anyway" Lola offers also.
*
Later, Marco walks me back to my room in silence that night. I lay in bed unable to sleep. I imagine Nick and wonder if he is with Rhea, doing with her what he wanted to do with me that morning and much much more.
I feel betrayed.
She is probably pretty, perfect.
'With more honor and dignity than your whole family put together' , Nick's words echo in my head.
Now i just feel annoyed with myself that i even care.
I miss home. I was foolish to think i could handle this.