In a way this is Qing's fault.
(Its Baba's fault again?)
Okay, I think everyone is at fault. Everyone. Me, Qing, Qing's mother, Qing's Aunt...
Heck, we should also blame Zhu Gege.
Shit!
(What happened?)
Well, shit hits the fan. That's what happened. So remember when Baba and Uncle fought? The weeks and weeks of us trying to reconcile them that in the end, we decided to disturb Uncle Stan who has to travel here to Beijing just to smooth things out between his younger cousins...
Well, that sounds like a kid going into a candy store with a bag of cash in their hands compared to this animosity between Mama and Auntie Wang.
We are doomed, really.
(Oh no...)
Yeah, this family loves conflict. And the fights are epic. This one is approaching armageddon.
(You and your love for exaggerating things...)
Am I exaggerating? Am I?
Okay, maybe I am. Surely, Mama and Auntie couldn't be mad at each other for the rest of the year, right? I mean...
Sighs...
Anyways, my own mother has some words of wisdom for me.
Mama: Stay out of it. Whatever you do, don't get between that.
Me: (sounding guilty) But I think its my fault.
Mama: It is not.
Me: Yeah, its not. Its yours. Why did you give birth to a boy who bruised easily? How dare you?
Mama: Feng Jian Yu!
Me: (deflating) Sorry. But really Mama, I feel like this is my fault.
Mama: No. These are women who married into one family. They are like siblings now, having a sibling fight. Stay out of it if you don't want to get hurt.
Me: I want to fix it.
Mama: (frowning) Why? These are adults. They are capable of fixing things on their own. Stay out of it, Dayu ah...I will not tell you the fourth time. I already told you thrice. Don't make me go down there.
I folded. I nodded and said I will stay out if it. Mama was adamant and I don't really want to tangle with her. She is scary.
Qing has the same opinion.
Qing: Stay out of it.
Me: But it is my fault...
Qing: No. Its theirs.
Me: But it was because of me...
Qing: (hissing) Do you really want to be the center of everything? Are you that vain?
Me: What? No! What the hell?
Qing: Then why do you keep insisting that this is your fault. I'm telling you, its not.
Me: (scowling) Yeah, its not. Because its your fault. I told you to be gentle with me.
Qing: You are the one who wants to wrestle with me.
Me: Because you were tired then and I feel like I could beat you.
Qing: And did you?
Me: Well, I get to pin you once.
Qing: (shaking his head) No. I let you pin me once. It happened because I let it to happen.
Me: No! Fuck you, I put efforts in that!
Qing: Okay, C plus for effort.
Me: Give me a B minus and I will shut up about it.
Qing: (rolling his eyes) Fine, B minus for efforts.
I smiled, feeling acknowledged.
(You are so...easy to please...)
Still, I feel anxious. I really feel like its my fault why Mama and Auntie are now cold to each other. They refuse to talk to each other and straighten things out. And I also worry that Qing, JiJi and Zhu Gege are all acting cavalier about their mothers having a clash.
JiJi: Its not like this is the first time they went cold to each other. Just let them stew for some time and they will soon see sense and talk to each other again. Stop worrying.
Wang Zhu: We've always known that Mama and Auntie has different personalities and opinions on things. So they said harsh words to each other, they will soon realize their wrongs and will sit down to talk. They'll be fine.
Qing: Stay out of it. Mama already told you, remember? Why won't you listen to your mother?
Me: (to Qing) I hate you.
I sulked on our room and think of why all of these happened. It started with that wrestling match I had with Qing that gave my arms bruises and me saying yes to having tea with Mama and Auntie before all the bruises faded.
That afternoon tea started well enough. Mama invited us to the museleom to host us for tea. Auntie traveled down South and she gave us souvenirs. Some sweet delicacies and I was thankful that she remembered to buy me some. She is still feeling grateful to me because I talked to Pau when Pau and Zhu Gege had a conflict some months ago.
But while we were having tea and discussing the next agenda on their foundation, Auntie noticed something peeking on the folded sleeve of my button down shirt.
Auntie: Dayu ah, is that a bruise?
Me: (looking down at my right arm) Ah...yes.
I tried pulling down the sleeve but Mama stopped me. She surveyed my arms and saw several bruises on them.
Mama: What happened?
Me: Oh...I was clumsy.
Clumsy enough to challenge Qing to a wrestling match and we got rough on each other.
Auntie: (not believing my answer) Clumsy? (sighing) Dayu ah...should I tell you a story of a woman I met a year ago? She sported bruises as well and she said she was clumsy. Turns out, she was a battered wife of a brute man who hit her when his head is full of liquor. She left the man when he went from hitting her to strangling her until she passed out.
Mama: Oh my...is she okay?
Auntie: She is okay now. She advocates for women who went through the same thing as her. I met her at a conference a year ago. She still has scars from struggling and fighting her ex.
Mama: (sighing) She is lucky she got away. She is so brave.
Auntie: She is, but we all know not all women living with abusive partners gets to escape. Not all of them survives. She did and she is doing the God's work of helping others. (looking at me) Dayu ah, are you sure you just got clumsy?
Me: Oh! Of course...Auntie...surely...
Mama: (suddenly frowning) Surely you are not suggesting that Qing is an abusive brute who hits Dayu. Auntie...?
Auntie: Of course I am not. But what do we know really? We won't know what really happens between a couple when their door is closed. It won't hurt if we will ask, is it?
Mama: (scoffing) What will we ask? (turning) Dayu ah, is Qing hurting you?
Auntie: (waving her hand) That. (eyes on me) Dayu ah...did Qing cause those bruises on your arms? Also, do you have other injury?
Mama: (slowly turning livid) Other injury?
Auntie: Broken bones and such.
Mama: Broken bones?! (nailing her eyes on me) Dayu ah...are you sporting broken bones as well?
My breath hitched. I am starting to feel scared. What is this sudden change in the atmosphere? This turn of events are making my head spin. We were just having tea and macarons.
Me: (looking back and forth at them) W-what...is happening?
Auntie: (tutting sound) Tsk, you are scaring the boy. That is not how you question people. You should let them speak without them feeling coerced or threatened.
Mama: (huffing) Now I am scaring him too. Next thing you know you will accuse me as well of being abusive to my son's fiancé.
My eyes widened at that. Auntie as well.
Auntie: I am not accusing anyone of anything.
Mama: (tone turning louder) You are making it sound like my son is a brute who hurts his partner.
Me: Mama...
Auntie: That is not what I am doing. I was just curious about the bruises on Dayu's arm. If he tells me where and how he got those, I will believe him. Maybe you are the on scared to hear that he got it from Qing.
Me: Auntie...!
Mama: (eyes on me again) Dayu ah, answer that. How did you get those bruises?
I don't know what to do. Should I tell them that I got it because Qing got me on a deadlock hold by gripping my arms tightly and pinning me to the ground?
Why did I challenge Qing to a wrestling match again? Why did I agree to have tea with them this afternoon? Why am I sitting between these two scary women?
Why is this my life? Why?
And then I made things worse when I settled on lying to them.
Me: I...ah...got it...when I arrange things on my pantry and some cans were knocked out and...
Auntie: (studying my face) Are you lying to us right now?
Me: (shaking my head frantically) No. No, Auntie...
Auntie sighed and her expression turned worried. Mama's lips thinned. They both fixed their eyes on me.
I winced and looked down. I turned to truth this time.
Me: I got it from wrestling with Qing. I usually challenge him with a wrestling match to get one over him and so I can brag about it...
Auntie: Oh Lord...
Me: (wincing apologetically at Mama) Mama, I'm sorry...
Mama: Why are you being sorry?
Me: (eyes shifting) Because...I lied. But really, I am telling the truth this time. Qing and I were just playing. We do that from time to time. Wrestle with each other. But we never hurt each other in anger. We don't even hit each other even when we are fighting. We are not like that.
Auntie: Oh, I am sure you both won't hurt each other. That will be disastrous because you are both male and physically fit. You could damage each other.
Me: We will never...
Auntie: You both should be careful. Especially you, Dayu ah...you are smaller than Qing.
Mama and I...both our breaths hitched at that.
Mama: (eyes blazing) And Pau is not smaller than Zhu? Maybe you should be saying those words to your son's partner. Pau is a lot smaller than Zhu and we both know he has a history of being violent. He could do a lot of damage to Pau.
My mouth fell open at that. Who has a history of being violent?
Auntie: (paling) Your words...really...Zhu has outgrown his youthful ways. He is not a brute. And what happened was an accident.
Mama: (scoffing) Accident? Both times?
Auntie: (scoffing as well) Well, don't sit there and act like your son has no part of it. We both know Qing could push anyone to violence with his arrogance and smugness. I bet Dayu knows that too.
Mama: Qing is younger than Zhu. But your son had no qualms with being rough on Qing when they were playing and brawling. He once landed Qing in hospital when Zhu kicked his head. My son was only eight then.
Me: That happened? What?
Auntie: They were playing. Its child play.
Mama: (snorting) And when Qing was fourteen? His Zhu gege beat him up then. Why?
Auntie: (eyes widening) You know that they won't tell the reason why they had that fight. Until now, the reason on why Zhu punched Qing is still a mystery.
Mama: Punched? He beat Qing up. My son coughed up blood. It's not a mere punch. Admit it, your son was violent because he mixed himself with bad people when he was still studying.
Zhu Gege has a delinquent past? Wow...who could tell? I didn't know that.
Auntie: (defensive) That was in the past. He is a changed man now.
Mama: Tigers don't change their stripes. Humans too...
Auntie: And blood doesn't lie. Zhu and Qing are cousins. Maybe the tendency to be a brute comes to my son first and just now manifesting on his cousin.
Mama: Qing is not violent!
Auntie: My son as well!
They stared at each other while I don't know what I should do. Auntie started gathering her stuffs in a huff.
Auntie: I just expressed concern for Dayu.
Mama: No. You tried insinuating that Qing is being abusive on him.
Auntie: I would never because I love my nephew. You are the one who brought out my son's past because you always want to highlight Zhu's misgivings while defending your own son. You always think Qing is better than Zhu.
Mama: I would never...
Auntie: (snorting as she stood up) Oh please. You have always been a snob. So what if you came from a noble family, nobler than your husband's family or mine...that doesn't make you better than us.
Mama: I am not a snob. You came after my son, and of course I will defend Qing to anyone. Even within our own family.
Me: Mama...Auntie...please...
Mama: (looking stony) Like I said, Qing will never hurt Dayu. People should worry about their own before looking at my son.
Auntie: (sneering) Zhu and Pau will be just fine. They are both mature people. I am sure they are more responsible than people who play wrestling for fun. Or hide their engagement from their own family.
Mama and I forgot to breath again with that jab. Auntie walked away before we can recover to react.
Mama: (hands fisting) She always know where to stab people where it'll hurt. Always having the last words. The jealous witch.
Me: Mama! You just called Auntie a witch.
Mama: (glaring at me) She is not your aunt! And call Qing! I want to talk to you both about your hobby of wrestling with each other!
Mama stood up and went inside the mansion while I was left in the garden lanai, wondering what chaos I created now.