Chapter 4:Why are you…
Coldness seeping into his bone making him opened his eyes. Darkness filled his eyes. He knew this kind of darkness. He was used to it. Was he locked up again? When was his parents locked him up? He was married, why was he was caged again?
That was all the thoughts swarming his head before he realized that he was not in his room. Not behind the rusty metal bars he’d been locked up for years. It was a carpeted floor with a high white ceiling above him. The ceiling was pretty. It was decorated with roses painting and the thorns, making it looked mysterious and elegant at the same time. Sometimes, he wondered who designed the house he was currently staying.
It was too classy for him and he was not too fond of having too much luxurious things. It was enough for him to have a simple moderate life. Looking around in the darkness, he spotted the old clock ticking constantly, counting the time that had passed.
How long have I been passed out?
He asked himself as he pushed himself up with his free hand in which his other hand was occupied with holding his throbbing head. Standing up, he trembled on his own feet, collapsing on the floor as he clutched his stomach.
My medicine...
The pain didn’t subside as he already predicted. He just passed out there for a few hours he thought, since the morning and didn’t take his medicine again.
Upstairs…
He pushed himself up again, using every obstacle to his advantages. Walking with his trembling legs didn’t help much as he walked with a speed of a snail. Clutching his stomach as another strike of pain hit him, he pushed himself up the stairs when he heard the front door opened.
Ryker’s back?!
Steeling himself up, he stopped three steps up the stairs, meeting Ryker’s eyes that was shocked seeing him there. Ignoring the pain searing through his body and the dizziness attacking him, he smiled briliantly at the sight of his husband.
“Welcome home.” he said softly, walking to Ryker to take his suitcase from him. ”I’m gonna cook dinner. What do you want?” smiling, he looked up to Ryker.
Ryker gave him a questioned look. There was silence between them before Ryker opened his mouth.
“There’s no need. My mother invited us for dinner. Get ready.” he said, walking passed him as he grabbed back his suitcase.
Walking up the stairs, Allison just stared at his husband’s back disappearing from his sight before back into clutching his stomach, sighing softly as his husband didn’t notice his pale complexion and trembling hands behind his perfect brilliant smile.
It’s better if he don’t know. He wouldn’t want a defect good.
He thought silently, bracing himself up to climb the stairs that looked so high like a Fuji mountain at the moment. As he walked passed Ryker’s room, he stopped, longing to be with his husband. He should be in the same room with Ryker. They were married after all but Ryker treated him like a stranger and never wanted to give him a chance to prove his worth to him at all.
Truth to be said, he hoped everything would be better after his wedding. Escaping his parents, living a better life without them, with his husband that he always thought would bring happiness to him, would love him even just for a bit and not to mention, he didn’t mind sharing if that what it meant to have a drop of love from his husband. No matter what the pain he had to go through, through thick and thin, even if death came to him, he would do it, for the person he vowed to be with, like the pledge that he said yes to at the wedding.
He didn’t want to ask for more actually. It was just enough to be happy with Ryker but it seemed to be so hard for him to achieve. He got a lot to hide too. His past was not as pretty as one could expect to. He got a lot of secrets that he would rather die than telling Ryker himself. For now, it was enough for him to be closer to Ryker. Like Mikayla always said, happiness would come for those who had the patience, the time will come when it’s matter.
Smiling slightly, he continued walking to his room.
After taking his medicine, he brushed his teeth, washing his face, opening his wardrobe in search for decent clothes. Finally he chose a black jeans, white shirt and a simple black cardigan as that the only decent clothes that he ever had, given by his parents as he was not allowed to venture out of his room at all ever since the ‘incident’.
The ‘incident’.
He shivered as the memories coming back to him. He didn’t want to remember anything from that time. He lost everything since that day, not that he had much to save anyway but his dignity, his hope, his trust. Everything went down the drain and he could do anything about it. He was on the losing side. Always be but not now. He had a new life now. He must opened a new chapter and let go of his past. Turn over a new leaves was what people always said. Forget the past, let it be the lesson of our life so that we would never make the same mistake ever again and for Allison, he hoped that he could live in peace. His new life with Ryker that he hoped to be the best part of his life before he-
'KNOCK!' 'KNOCK!'
“We’ll be leaving.” he could Ryker’s calm voice behind the door.
Calming himself, he opened the door slowly, smiling as his eyes met Ryker’s. Their eyes locked for a while before Ryker turned his back towards him and walked away. Not saying anything, he closed the door and followed his husband down the stairs, out of the house, towards the Zenvo STI parked at the front yard. Allison stopped for a bit to have a look at the car, stunned.
Glancing at Allison, Ryker lifted an eyebrow, feeling weird at the stunned look on his face. It was not like a usual stunned look, it was a I-never-saw-a-car-before look.
“What’s wrong? It’s a car.” he said.
“It’s yours?” Allison asked, looking at him.
“Yes.” Ryker answered, looking at Allison in confusion.
“Cool.” Allison said, totally fascinated with his blue eyes widen in amazement, adoring the car in front of him.
“What?” Ryker asked, shocked by the sudden comment slipped from Allison’s lips.
“Nothing. Just, it’s a pretty car.” Allison finished, blushing as he realized his bold behavior, grabbing the door handle, opening it before sliding inside.
Smirking slightly, Ryker slide inside. ”It is a pretty car.”
They drove in silence to his parents’ house. Only the radio filling the silence between them before Ryker decided to opened his mouth and broke the awkward moment.
“I thought you were not in the house.” he said, keep focusing on the road.
To be honest, Ryker really thought that Allison was not in the house before. He was in shock when he saw Allison was just about to climb the stairs up. He saw Allison’s face which was abnormally pale even without a source of light to help him seeing in the dark. That was a werewolf specialty. They adapted to the dark like it was a bright day out. But what questioned Ryker more was the fact that he saw Allison’s trembling form and his quivering lips. There was nothing normal about that and he made up his mind to ask Allison right away.
“What?” Allison asked, startled by the sudden break of silence.
“The house was dark when I walked in. I thought you were not inside.” he said.
Shocked by the question he didn’t expect, Allison stuttered with his words.
“Uumm..I..mm...just..” he panicked.
I couldn’t tell him that I passed out all day long at the front door.
“I sit in my room all day long, that’s why the light is off.” he said, composing himself.
“But you were downstairs.” Ryker said.
“Umm..b-because I’m checking if you have come back or not.” he said, proud of himself for answering it brilliantly.
Looking at Allison’s face, he frowned. Realizing the frowned on his husband’s face, Allison fidgeted on his chair. Looking guiltily into his husband’s eyes he finally croaked out, ”The road.”
Moving his eyes to the road again, he asked, ”Why?”
Ryker was totally not satisfied with the answer Allison just gave. Something telling him that it was not the truth that Allison told him but he couldn’t make his mind to why would Allison lied to him so he asked staright to Allison. He could feel that Allison didn’t telling him lies out of a sudden because of nothing. There had to be something that forced him to lie.
“What?” Allison asked, looking at his husband’s face.
“You lied.” Ryker said, gripping the steering wheel tightly until his knuckles turned white.
Even though he knew Allison didn’t purposely lied but he still couldn’t wash the irritation of being lied to. He couldn’t believe that Allison didn’t trust him, not that he had done anything good to him that he could win Allison’s trust but he was still Allison’s husband and he couldn’t just let a lie stood in between them.
“L-lied?” confused, Allison asked.
“Why are you downstairs? I can sense you were lying, so tell me the truth.” Ryker said, calming himself.
“I’ve told you-“ Allison started.
“The truth!!” Ryker yelled, suddenly hit the brake, making the car to suddenly stopped as Allison jerked to the front violently.
“Now.” he said, calm again.
Ryker didn’t want to vent his frustration at Allison but nothing he could do when his anger got the best out of him. He tried to control his hot-headedness but sometimes, he couldn’t and he would use any means it would take to force the truth out of Allison. He’s an alpha and he got his pride. Being lied by his own partner was definitely hurting his pride and he didn’t like it. Whatever it took, he needed Allison to be honest with him. He could see that Allison was a very secretive person. He knew nothing of him, not that he wanted to know anyway (he wanted to know but too stupid to realize his own heart), he just wanted Allison to tell him the truth.
I can’t tell you.
“I’ve told you the truth.” Allison said calmly, locking his eyes with Ryker’s.
His heart beating hard against his chest that he thought it might burst out. He really wanted to tell Ryker the truth. Everything. About him, his parents, his past. Everything that will conclude everything happened today and any of the suffering day that he had to go through even with the help of the medicine, the pain was unbearable. He wanted to tell everything to his husband but he was afraid. Afraid that Ryker would abandoned him as he was filthy and worthless or even worst, Ryker would hide him from the society again, confining him behind bars, just like his parents did to him. His mind swirled with every consequences that could happen if he told Ryker the truth but his heart was telling him to open up and spoke the truth. He looked down, biting his lower lips as he thought of something to cover up the truth.
“Whatever.” Ryker finally said.
Allison looked at him. Ryker’s gaze turned cold same as before but he steeled himself up for any consequences. Even if Ryker beat him up, used him or did anything to him, he was ready for it, he’d been through worse than that.
He closed his eyes and waited for the hit to come but the hit never came. He opened his eyes and looked at Ryker with shocked written all over his face. He thought Ryker was angry with him, despised him and wanted to hit him like his parents always did to him.
Ryker turned his eyes on road again and speed off. The remaining of the drive was silent. Ryker said nothing. Allison said nothing. They kept the silence but something was off as Ryker glanced at his husband’s complexion that became not only white as sheet but his hands also shaking violently.
What’s wrong?
He tried to make the words out of his mouth but because of his ego make him swallowing back the comfort words that are threatening to pour out, saying that ‘it’s okay, I will not hurt you’, saying that he actually didn’t hate him, saying that his skycraper ego that made him an asshole as he was, saying that whatever happened, he would protect him. But nothing. Nothing came out. Every words that played through his minds was kept behind the bars, not letting any of them out with his harder-than-rock-stubborn head.
“I’m sorry.” he heard a whisper coming from his side.
Letting his ego win, he didn’t even glance to his husband’s face. Waiting for another word to come from his mouth, hopefully the true story, but, nothing. Silence. Like a real silence. Just the sound of car’s engine playing through their ears.
Turning his head to the side, he could see them. Tears. Strolling down his husband’s previously pale cheeks that became red of crying. Shocked was a good word describing his condition at the time. It was the first time that Allison cried, like really crying in front of him since their wedding, technically yesterday, even with the harsh words he said before, but this time he really flipped a switch.
“Shit.” he cursed under his breath, stopping his car by the roadside.
Gripping the steering wheel tightly, he looked at his husband shaking body, trying really hard to stop the sniffles and sobs but failed miserably. He didn’t know what to do. Like seriously didn’t know what to do. Sara never cried, with her ice queen attitude, no one ever succeeded making her cry unless she made peple cried but none of that matters. Tasha never cried too, his mother? Out of question. Father? Big no. He didn’t have another close relatives and most people he met never cried, well, not because of him but in front of his eyes, his own lithe husband was crying his eyes out.
For Allison could take it if Ryker just hit him or yelled at him but he couldn’t take it when Ryker ignored him like he never existed. He didn’t want Ryker to ignore him. It hurt him more than the physical pain he always having when he lived with his parents, more than the hurt in his heart when his parents insulted him, telling him he was worthless.
He sobbed and quivering violently as he gripped his hands tightly to preserved his tears but none of his effort works. The tears that he tried to hold fell freely down his cheeks, dropping on his lap as he lowered his face, still trying to hide his teary eyed from Ryker.
Concerned and guilty, Ryker pulled out his hand, reaching his husband to touch his small shoulder. As he put his palm on Allison’s shoulder, the smaller boy flinched violently, jerking away from him, putting his knees near his chest and his hands over his head.
Did he thought I’m gonna hit him?
Shocked, anxious, guilty, pity, all feelings were attacking him. Shocked by his husband’s reaction to his touch. Flinching and covering his head suddenly from a simple touch was not a normal reaction he got from a person, at least a normal one. Determined, he tried once again, reaching for his husband, this time, slowly. Allison flinched again with Ryker’s palm resting on his wrist, slowly gripping it.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, calm down.” he said, softly while bringing Allison’s wrist down.
He touched the smaller boy’s chin, tilting his head, facing him and with one slow motion, their lips met. He landed the softest kiss he ever give to someone, bringing the small frame of his husband closer to him without breaking the kiss. It was not a deep-wet French kiss. Just touching their lips together but for him, for the first time of his life, his heart fluttered, like there were butterflies in his stomach with his heart beating like crazy. But apparently, he was not alone, he could hear his husband’s frantic heartbeat, beating fast against his hand on his husband’s back and his previously large-shocked eyes closing slowly trough the kiss.
After a few minutes, he released the slender frame from his embrace, turning his body back facing the front, calming his own heart from racing too fast inside his ribcage. Glancing to his side, he looked down to his husband, still shocked from his earlier action, just stayed in his awkward position. Slowly, he touched one of Allison’s cheeks and wipe off the tears using his thumb. Blinking his big blue eyes, he looked at Ryker, stunned.
“Don’t cry.” he said, wiping off the tears on his lithe husband’s cheeks.
Scrambling, Allison jerked away from his husband’s little affection, blushing like crazy before turning his head to the window with jalapeno-pepper-red face, he bit his thumb nervously, trying to hide his embarrassment. Chuckling at the sudden reaction, Ryker reached out to run his fingers through Allison’s hair, ruffling it.
“Your ears are red, kiddo.”
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