It's hard working with Joseph, especially since I might actually have feelings for him. He begs me every day to talk to him about us, but I can't since Chad is always around us. He's still upset with me, but I don't blame him. I'd be upset with me too. I feel sick sometimes, maybe it's because I'm so overwhelmed with work and my personal life. I have a throbbing headache and everything is annoying me.
"Jasmine. Hey!" Julia shouts.
"What?!" I snap. JJ starts fussing in his carrier and Julia frowns at me.
"My god you look like absolute shit," she comments.
"Yeah, I know. I feel like shit too. What do you want?" I ask.
"Where's Joseph?"
"Out, I'm not too sure. Ugh, can you please leave? You and your son are killing me," I mumble.
"I remember feeling like that when I first got pregnant. Did Chad put a baby in you?"
"What no! Chad is only my friend," I say.
"Well someone might have put a baby in you. It would explain why you look like you've been to hell and back," Julia explains. My heart drops to my stomach at that realization. I could be pregnant right now with Joseph's baby. I am almost a month late too. Fuck.
"If the boys come back before I do, tell them I had something important to do," I tell Julia while grabbing my bag and rushing to my car. I can't be pregnant, not right now. I pull out of the parking lot and drive to the nearest store to get a pregnancy test. How could I be so oblivious to the signs? As I park in front and rush in the store a sudden thought pops up in my mind. What am I going to do with a baby? A baby whose father has another baby and a fiancée. Instead of going to the aisle with the pregnancy tests I go in the bathroom and call my mother.
"Hello? Jasmine is that you?"
"Hi mom," I sniffle.
"What's wrong darling?" she asks.
"I think I'm pregnant," I mumble.
"Is it Chad's?"
"No, why does everyone think that? Mom, you know the guy I'm working for right?"
"Oh, that handsome man with the beautiful voice. What about him?"
"It's his baby. I don't know how to tell him since we're not on speaking terms and he has a fiancée and child—"
"Jasmine Denise Williams, did you really have an affair with an almost married man?" my mother questions. "Knowing that your father did the same thing to me when you were young."
"I did, and I—"
"Are you really planning on keeping this from him? Can you honestly go through with it?"
"I don't know what else to do mom. I'm fucked."
"He deserves to know. You don't have to tell him right away, but don't keep it from him. Go buy yourself a few tests and when the results come in, give me a call," she suggests. "I love you."
"Love you too mom." I hang up my phone and toss it in my bag. I get up slowly and grab a few pregnancy tests on the way to cashier. What a mess my life has become.
———————————
After work
I sit in my bathroom staring blankly at all the positive tests. I can't be pregnant, can I? Was I really that reckless?
"All the tests say you're pregnant dummy," I say to myself. Who would've thought I'd have a kid by twenty-four and still single. Nothing goes as planned, but when should I tell Joseph? Would he even want to know? Would he even help? A bunch of what-ifs start clouding my head with endless possibilities until my phone started ringing. It's Joseph. I hesitantly pick it up, placing the phone to my ear.
"Jasmine are you okay? Julia said you had a medical emergency," he says sounding concerned.
"Julia's a fucking liar. I said I had something important to do since I wasn't feeling well," I correct.
"Whoa, calm down. You've been acting really moody lately," he whispers. "Are you on your—"
"No, I am not! And if I were it's none of your business," I hiss.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I miss talking to you."
"Joseph please don't. It's hard enough working with you," I whimper. "Just, be my boss and nothing else."
"Can't we be friends?"
"I don't think so."
"I'm going to try to be your friend then," Joseph says. "You can't stop me."
"Fine whatever. I'm sorry for snapping at you, it's the p— Um I've just been going through a lot lately," I lie. "Not being able to be with you and Chad hating me has taken a toll."
"You want me to come over and comfort you?"
"No, uh listening to your voice is enough."
"Whatever you say, sweetness."