* M rated warning - ya been told!* 😈
Stepping into the house, my eyes find Billy stood in the lounge, looking at me bewildered.
"Hey Bill."
He blinks "I- Zak?" He calls over his shoulder.
Zak appears, carrying a mop and bucket. Seeing me, he pauses. "You're back?"
"Said I would."
"I'm gonna go, I came to get recorders but they can wait." Billy says, making his excuses and leaving instantly.
"See you soon." I call out, but he is gone.
Zak sets down the mop and bucket before crossing over the lounge area and grabbing my wrist, guiding me through the house, we go straight into the bathroom where he stand me in front of the mirror. It's the first time I've seen myself and I now understand Billy's reaction.
"Oh." I say to myself, taking in the busted eyebrow, split lip, bloody hands and clothes.
"Yeah." He answers pulling my shirt off my head and throwing it to the floor. "Strip."
I do, obediently, watching as he kicks it away before losing his clothes too and pulling me into the large shower with him.
The hot water lashes down and I stand underneath it, head tilted back letting it wash over me, Zak stands on the opposite side, washing the blood off my skin without a word. Using the bar of soap to foam up my arms and body before concentrating on my hands to get the blood out of the groves of my skin. His fingers are gently when they go over my eyebrows and I can see he is trying to work out if I need stitches. He then holds my cheek in one hand whilst wiping my mouth clean.
I hold his sides, watching him care for me like I'm a precious item, when in fact deep down, I'm a mess. Mia was right, under it all, I still have the aftertaste of being cheated on, I have doubt, trust issues and body confidence issues. But this man, before me, silences them all to the best of his ability. Which is why I love with, with every fibre.
He leans down and kisses my eyebrow gently before kissing the corner of my mouth, where my lip had split, but before he can pull away, I wrap a hand around the back of his neck and kiss him firmly.
His hands snake their way over my skin as his body responds to mine in the perfect way. Only stopping at my ass to pull me flat against him. He groans as I bite his bottom lip encouraging him further.
A gasp escapes me when he pushes me back against the shower wall and lifts me up, pinning me with his body, my legs locking around his hip. My fingers working through his hair, causing his breathing to get heavier before my mouth connects with his harder.
"Elle.." He breathes in warning between our lips.
"Don't stop."
He pulls back to look at me, but before he can see any doubt in my eyes, I reach between us and show him exactly what I want. As soon as our bodies are connected without a barrier between us, I know this has changed us. Zak's fingers dig into my skin and pins my hips against the wall.
"Give me a second..." He pants.
I use the time to kiss his jaw, his neck and lips, whilst keeping a firm hand over his heart, feeling it beating hard under his skin and rib cage.
"One last chance.. Are you sure?" He asks breathing through the water that's still falling over our heads. Forever considerate of how different this is, for us, at least.
"Yes." I answer, taking a hold of his shoulders causing a smile to build on his lips.
"My little firefly, setting the world alight.." He whispers, before one move steals the oxygen out of my lungs.
Every move is urgent between us, and I've never known Zak to be so vocal, but I love every moan and pant in my ear as he moves us wall to wall, changing positions, grabbing my body and letting my nails drag down his skin.
The seat in his shower which he usually uses for shampoo is cleared by one swoop of his hand and he sits, letting me take over, relinquishing the control again. When I begin to lose rhythm, he slows us down, savouring the moment.
Our moans bounce off the walls until we both finally finish, with me now sat on the shelf, holding his body against mine as he tells me his legs have gone.
"I can't move even if I want to," I tell him.
He hits the shower off, leaving the hot air to cool and give us both a chance to breathe through the steam. "You're shaking."
"It's not from the cold." I tell him, making him chuckle.
Slowly, we both make it out the shower, get into towels and almost crawl to the bedroom. Laying on the bed, I look at Zak and laugh as he begins chuckling to himself.
"Stop it. What is so funny?" I ask.
"I have some fucked up kinks. But you bloodied? Who knew that was going to happen?" He asks, squeezing my leg.
"That was something, I've got to admit." We, together had never gone against the most basic rules of sex. The first as it should always be, is consent. The other was protection.
"My legs have never given out." He says mainly to himself and the ceiling, probably looking to God for some answers of his recent jelly legs.
"The power of the pu-." His hand covers my mouth.
"Don't say it."
Taking his hand away I laugh "So no round two?"
"I mean.. Give a guy a break and we can see what happens but-."
"Oh my god, I'm kidding." I reply, scooting over the bed and laying my head on his chest.
I don't know how long we lay here on the bed for, basking in the afterglow, listening to the sound of the waterfall in the swimming pool and the sound of peace, but it must be a while because Zak has a nap and wakes up, wanting to talk.
"Can I wear panties for this?" I ask sitting up, still seeing then sated look in his eyes.
"Let's both get changed because if I see any more skin, talking is going to be out the window."
We both change and then make tacos after I've cleaned the last of the blood off the floor. Sitting on the couch, we both stare into the back garden where Gracie is sat up next to the waterfall, enjoying the sun.
"Do you ever think that there is so much to cover, that you don't know where to start?" I ask him.
"Thank god you understand.. I've sat here trying to work out where to begin."
"When you met Mia?"
"The beginning, probably the best option." He says holding me a little tighter. "She came to the museum one day, tried causing a scene outside, but my security got to her and brought her into the office. Normally they'd escort trouble makers off the property, call the police if we had too. It when I recognised her, I had them get her.. You had a bad night, tossing and turning, your seizures happened almost every day, so I knew I had to put something in line to stop this stress on you. Which is when I offered her money, to say goodbye and leave town."
I listen as he continues "She didn't tell me how bad things were for her, just said that in order for her to do that, she is going to need more money than what I had in my wallet. So I asked her to name a price."
"How much?" I ask him quietly, dread building.
"I gave her $2000. It's not a lot to start over."
"Zak, it was always too much. You should have never handed it over."
"I know but I was desperate, for your safety. So I paid it. But then I got a message, it was Mia and suddenly she began asking for more, demanding that I paid up or she would tell you, I did it a few times, scared of what you might think, scared that you will look at me with disgust and then one day I said no.."
"Which is when she came here?" I guess.
"Yeah.."
"You didn't press charges, is that why?"
"Yes." He admits. "I thought I would play her at her own game, a little leverage, but you can't reason with her, she began threatening me, threatening you, telling me that she would start hounding you.."
"Those calls were from her, and you knew?"
He looks at me. "You are mad at me, aren't you?"
"I want to be. But not for doing what you did, but for keeping this to yourself. You must have been under so much stress.."
"Every time I pushed back against her demand, something would happen here. The day you got a parcel, I felt my soul leave my body, I dreaded to know what was inside, which is why I snapped so easily at you."
"I know it's easier to say it now, but you should have just come to me. Equals, remember? I don't like this idea if you having to carry this on your back, as well as everything else."
Zak pulls his phone from his pocket. "This is why I didn't tell you." He says, opening his camera roll.
Photos appear, some of lockdown, haunted items and more, but with a quick press, a whole new album appears. All of me..
"This.." Zak says, showing me the photo of myself, sat by the river in Altadena, the golden rays shining up from the river and onto my face. I look happy, peaceful and content. "This is why I haven't told you because I see more moments like this, you happy. At ease, stress free. Not mid seizure, fighting for breath and control of your own body."
I knew my seizures were painful to Zak to watch, having expressed that he feels helpless whilst I have them, so I understand the reason he went to the lengths of paying Mia off. I lift my arm and find the teeth marks she left had faded and a bruise taking their place. "I'm such a hypocrite."
"How so?"
"I told her violence wasn't the answer. But the moment she invaded our home, blackmailing you, trying to take things you've worked so hard for. I lost it."
"It was self defence. I checked on the cameras to make sure we had video evidence, because if she called the police..."
"She still might." I tell him, sighing.
"Then we will be prepared... I understand why you deleted that message, but I wish you told me."
"It was stupid, foolish of me and I regretted it the moment I did it. I wanted to tell you but I was ashamed." I tell him.
"You never have to be ashamed. Not with me."
"Really? I invaded your privacy, it popped up and I read it. I deleted it and then sat there, mortified that I had crossed the line. All this, what happened today was because of me, because I deleted that message."
"But I'm glad that you know. I hated keeping it from you. What started as a snowball escalated into an avalanche. The PI found Mia, but she vanished before he could give her the court papers. She then upped the ante and began threatening me some more. I tried to fight back, to scare her straight but she was like a train, already derailed.."
"What a mess..." I say.
"Do you still have doubts, about us?" Zak asks, making me turn my head.
"No, of course not. I know our bones are good. But you heard what Mia said, my track record hasn't been great. Appalling actually."
"So it's true?"
I nod my head "Yeah, hasn't been easy dating. People see my size and instantly think they can take advantage. I fall for it, each and every time. Cole, he was mentally abusive, he was the only different one out of a line of bad men. He took me apart brick by brick, then kicked half of them into a river, lost."
"And me?" Zak asks. "Will I join that line? Of screw ups? After what I did today?"
I take his hand. "No, because what you did was out of desperation and I understand that. But being here, like this, I keep waiting for someone to come along and yank the carpet from under my feet. It's my own anxiety doing this to me, the fear of being hurt."
"How can I stop you feeling that?" He asks.
"You can't. I have to work through this on my own, and I know.. I know I can. I already have in some respects, but I look at you and can't help but think how lucky I've became. How can someone like me, have someone like you?"
"Well you have and you have to let this fear go, otherwise you can't enjoy life to the fullest. Sweetie, there's always going to be someone prettier, like there is always a man you're going to find more attractive than me, Ryan Reynolds, Tom Hardy, that dude from Supernatural you almost drool over. The point I'm trying to make, is accepting that you are who you are.."
"That's always something I'm working on." I tell him quietly.
"And I will be your biggest cheerleader, can men be cheerleaders? It's pretty gender neutral now, right?"
I smile "Yeah it is."
Zak smiles back briefly, and I shift in my seat to look at him. There was something else... "What else?"
"She tried to make a move on me. Mia, I mean."
My brows lift.
"I think it was sick power play attempt. When I laughed and told her that there was no chance in hell, she got angry. I probably shouldn't have laughed, looking back."
"She tried to hit on you? But she literally despises you? No offence."
"None taken. I think that was her attempt at hurting you, to go through me. Hoping I would see her as a woman and pounce. But I honestly see her as nothing but a pain in my ass. Our ass, in fact."
"She's nothing like the girl I used to know.." I tell him. "She was so funny, beautiful and clever."
"The only traits you share with her. Only she lost all that."
I think back to when she bounded through the front door. Seeing the state of her clothes, it was hard when Mia was always so fashionable, I envied her and her clothes.
"This isn't over, you and her, is it?" Zak asks.
"Do you want it to be? Because if it's going to effect you, I'll bury it."
"You have to do what you feel is best." He says honestly.
And this is why I love him so damn much.
"Sophie knew." I add.
"She what?"
"She knew about it all. As soon as I stopped fighting with Mia, it clicked in my head. I had asked Sophie about Mia at lunch one day, she acted weird but I never thought much of it."
"I expect Sophie was trying to pacify Mia with money by that stage.." Zak says. "Mia is a cunning woman. Manipulative for sure."
"I feel partly to blame, for all this."
"It's not your fault."
"I know." I tell him. "But a part of me wants to put her back on track."
"She has to want that for herself, El. I have no issues with helping you to help her. But she has to want to change, otherwise it's a waste of time."
I nod in agreement. "Do you ever regret dating me?"
"No."
"Did you ever, taking Mia into account too?"
Zak shakes his head "Not for a split second, not even when I was handing her money and she was laughing at me. Hurt my pride for fucking sure, but then I'd come home, you'd be here, reading, heaven sent and beautiful. You'd look at me with so much excitement that I was home and I would know that one day you'd find out and maybe those looks would stop. That you'd hate me for how far this has all came, but until then, I was going to enjoy every second with you. I knew that it was worth it and despite it all, I'd do it again."
"Only you could find the good in all that bad." I tell him.
"You've given me optimism, after all the years of being a pessimist. One bad date and here we are.. Poor Ed."
"Yeah." I sigh, shifting so that I'm laying my head on Zak's lap. "Poor bastard never stood a chance against you."
He looks down smiling at me wickedly. "What can I say? I am to please."
"That you did and still do.. Are we okay? After all this? Sorry for fighting in your house." I tell him, watching as he plays with my hair.
"I think we are brilliant. Talking really is the best thing. The shower took the anger out of us both. The pent up aggression that's been building. As for what happened with you and Mia, I'm incredibly proud of you."
"Proud? I wouldn't say that? I went to her level."
"A level she took you to. I don't think Mia was prepared for you to fight back. In more ways than one. I was sick as hell thinking you were gonna get hurt but you gained some advantage."
"It's not MMA." I swat him, playfully.
"If it was, you'd have won. Those punches. My firefly is a damn brawler when she's pushed."
"I like that."
"Brawling? Knew it. You're a savage." He teases.
"No." I laugh. "You calling me your firefly."
Zak smiles, it's so heartfelt that my own aches in my chest for him. "You have certainly brought light into my darkness."
As he has mine.