Whelving Warmth
Chapter 31
"Oh god, we're getting close!" singhal ko ng makita ang isang landmark na nangangahulugang malapit na kami sa gallery.
I gritted my teeth when I remembered how Theo welcomed me with a 'surprise' when he fetched me in the office.
"Why didn't you tell it to me earlier? I should've prepared for this!" sisi ko ulit sa kanya.
He told me that there would be a small event for me since it's the last day of the exhibition.
Yes, it's already the last day! Hindi ko rin namalayan na ilang araw na pala ang lumipas. Every after work, pumupunta kami sa gallery. I will never get enough of watching people admiring my works. Totoo nga yung sinabi nila na marami talagang pumupunta para makita ang mga gawa ko.
And seeing it with my eyes? It makes my heart full.
"I should have change my clothes atleast! And have my hair fix! Theo naman! I'm not prepared!"
He stopped the car when the light turned red. Bumaling siya sa akin, "Patignan nga?"
I pursed my lips as he inspect me. His eyes travelled from my hair tied in a high ponytail to my black turtle-neck long sleeves to my cream shirt and lastly, to my black pumps. His stares were so sensual!
Bumalik ang tingin niya sa mata ko, "You look delectable, baby." He leaned in and gave me a soft kiss.
Napairap ako. "I look like I'm going to have my thesis defense, you dirty-minded attorney!"
Napuno ang sasakyan ng halakhak niya, "Maganda ka. You're perfect, Sariah. Don't worry too much."
Lumapit ulit siya para halikan ako. This time longer and deeper. Hindi pa siya titigil kung hindi kami binusinahan ng sasakyan sa likod namin.
I took out my compact to check myself. A frown formed in my face when I saw my lipstick smudged off.
"You ruined my lipstick," sita ko sa kanya.
"Pwede naman ibalik," he chuckled while driving. Tutok ang mata siya kalsada. I took out a tissue from my vanity pouch when I saw some of my lipstick on the side of his lips. I was so focused on removing it when he spoke, "Move away your face from me. Nagmamaneho ako, Sariah."
"What?"
"What?" pang-asar niyang ginaya ang boses ko. "Inaakit mo nanaman ako eh!"
"I don't!"
"Sus, hindi raw! Ganyan ka rin kaya nung isang araw!"
Well, maybe that day, yes. But now?!
"Hindi naman talaga!" I threw the tissue to him. Natatawa niya iyong inabot at nagkusang punasan ang labi niya.
Pikon akong sumandal sa upuan. I put my arms in front of my chest and put my attention on the window. But I immediately regret it because I was reminded that we're really close in our destination.
"Shit," bulong ko sa sarili. Hindi na mapirmi ang mga kamay ko sa hita ko. "Shit. Shit. Shit."
I suddenly felt a huge hand covering mine. My eyes shifted back to him because of it. He glanced at me for a while and gave me a comforting smile, his other hand still in the steering wheel. "Calm down. You can do it, baby."
He uttered it repeatedly while carresing both of my hands. Somehow it did calm me down.
However it didn't last long. Halos lumabas sa dibdib ko ang puso ko ng makita kung gaano karaming tao ang nag-iintay sa akin. My eyes widen when I saw some media people waiting too.
"What's that?!" I complainingly whispered to Theo while grabbing his coat. We're in the waiting area of the gallery. Sumilip ulit ako sa labas, this time with him behind me, "Bat may ganyan? I thought I'm just going to be introduced as the painter!"
He looked at me with guilt. "Hindi ako nakaisip nyan! Yung daddy mo!"
Si dad?!
"They were interested to know who's behind the paintings. Sinabi ko na sa dad mo na baka hindi mo magustuhan, pero pumayag pa rin siya! He said that it would be better because more people will know how great you are. I wasn't able to do anything anymore because he looks so decided already!" sumbong niya sa akin. "Takot ko lang sa daddy mo!"
I took a huge amount of air, more pressure now. "My god, Theo. I don't think I can calm down now."
"Kaya mo yan, baby. I believe in you. Kinakaya mo nga humarap sa kamera kapag sa business niyo, eto pa kaya?" He laughed awkwardly when I glared at him.
Yes, I've been interviewed numerous time already. But, "This is different! We're talking about my painting here!"
They're going to see me now as Sadie the painter. Not the businesswoman!
And the idea alone send chills to my body!
"The more reason for you to be confident!" Hinawakan ni Theo ang magkabilang balikat ko. "Listen. It's different but you're spectacular in both. This is your passion. And you're so good at it. You'll slay this one too, my love."
The program surprisingly went smooth. The audience welcomed me warmly when I was revealed. Theo stood on one side of the room, cheering me. Good thing, he's tall. Everytime I feel anxious tumitingin lang ako sa direksyon niya. Nang tumagal-tagal at naging kumportable na rin ako.
"It's still remarkable to know that the CEO of the Esquivel Group is the one behind these magneficent paintings. When did you discover that painting is for you?"
I'm currently being interviewed by a famous art magazine outlet. Kakatapos lang ng actual program. Umalis na ang mga tao. Tanging kami nalang ang natitira.
"The last painting you made was dated five years ago. Is this exhibit a sign that you would resume painting again?"
"Oh, yes. I would!" nakangiti kong sabi, naalala ang naging pag-uusap namin ni daddy. "I was just too focused in the company for the past five years but I'm going to have my return in painting soon."
"We'll be expecting more of your works then!" She looked around the gallery, her lips are parted when she looked back at me, "Oh, I'm sorry. I still can't help but to be amaze when I look at your crafts. And wow, you made all of these in such a young age. Can I ask what's your inspiration for coming up with these?"
"I just put my heart into everything I made. Painting has become the outlet of my emotions. That's why you can notice that I don't stick in one style. In each painting you see here, it's my heart speaking. My emotions are pretty reflected in each paintings"
Tumango-tango siya, "The recent painting you made centered around love. So, is it safe to say that Mr. Ashton Cordello was your inspiration when you made those?"
I was caught off guard by her next question. The media is well-aware of the upcoming nuptial between the Esquivel and Cordello
I faked a smile and chose to be mum about it. Lumihis ang tingin ko kay Theo na seryosong nakikinig sa amin. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay.
The interviewer seems to notice that the question made me uncomfortable. Agad siyang lumipat sa kasunod na tanong, "This is the last question. What's your message for aspiring painters? Or let's say to anyone who's still in their way in achieving their dreams?"
Oh.
I gave her a sweet smile. "This may be cliche, but believe in yourself. Never give up on your dream and tightly hold on into it. I used to hide my passion in painting. I was never confident that I'm good at it. But one day, a person told me that my talent should never be hidden in the four corners of my room"
I chuckled and glanced at Theo, "That woke me up. I started dreaming again. And here I am, what I thought was impossible years ago is now turning into reality."
"You must be so thankful to that person!" masigla niyang sabi.
"So much. I'm so thankful that that person came in my life. I mean, that person woke the shit out of me!" natatawa kong sabi. "That person made me realize that there is nothing wrong to dream. That person was there to hold my hand and guide me on every steps I need to take to achieve it."
All of this wouldn't be possible because of him. All of this would stay as a dream if he didn't enter my life.
I looked at him again and I saw him trying to hide his smile.
The interview ended after that. Nang makaalis na sila, agad akong lumapit kay Theo at patalon siyang niyakap.
"I love you attorney," panlalambing ko sa kanya.
"Ashton pala ha. 'Wag mo ko yakapin," kunwaring nagtatampo niyang sabi. Niyakap niya rin naman ako pabalik! Siniksik ko lalo ang sarili ko sa kanya. "Nako, Sariah. Hindi mo ko madadala sa yakap."
"Who am I inlove with when I made those paintings?"
"Aba, malay ko sayo!"
I pouted, "Come on, Theo! You know that you were my inspiration!"
"Sus!"
"Totoo kaya!"
We were bickering with each other until we arrived parking. Napatigil lang kami ng makita ang isa sa mga media kanina. He was an interviewer of a famous entertainment magazine. I was interviewed by him twice this year kaya namukhaan ko siya.
Lumapit siya sa amin. "Congratulations again on your successful exhibit, Ms. Esquivel."
Kimi akong ngumiti sa kanya. Lumipat ang tingin niya kay Theo bago bumalik sa akin. He looked at me suspiciously, "I see your with Atty. Acuesta."
Magtataka pa dapat ako kung bakit niya kilala si Theo pero bigla kong naalala na matunog nga pala ang pangalan ni Theo sa media. Aside from being a remarkable attorney in a young age and acing the bar years ago, he's being labeled as one of the hottest bachelor attorneys in the generation.
"I'm Ms. Esquivel's attorney," pormal na sabi ni Theo.
He's lips formed a circle. "Oh, I was about to suspect that there's something going on between the two of you. I mean, you look so good together. I almost forgot that Ms. Esquivel is already engaged."
Tumingala ako para makita ang reaksyon ni Theo. He managed to maintain a straight face. "I'm just doing my work. There's nothing going on between us."
"Of course, you have a reputation to protect attorney. I'm sorry if I made it sound like you're having an affair."
It was so hard not to roll my eyes because of what he said. He was intentionally triggering us to get some reaction. Buti nalang mukhang hindi naapektuhan si Theo.
"It's alright. Can we excuse ourselves now? I need to drive Ms. Esquivel back to the company."
He nodded. Kita ko pa rin sa mukha niya na naghihinala siya sa amin ni Theo.
"Ms. Esquivel let's go?" pilit akong nagpaalam sa kanya bago sumunod kay Theo.
I didn't bring my car since we're going to have dinner with my dad. Sasabay nalang ako kay daddy mamaya pauwi.
No one was talking so I decided to play some music.
Maya-maya pa ay hindi ko na natiis at nagsalita na, "You could have introduced yourself as my boyfriend," I opened what happened earlier.
I mean, yes, he is my attorney. Pero ibang 'my attorney' yun!
"You're still engaged. As much as I wanted to introduced myself as your boyfriend, I can't. Baka kung anong isipin nila sayo," sinabi niya yun ng hindi man lang tumitingin sa akin.
I bit my lower lip. "Okay lang naman sa akin."
I don't care if they call me names. Hindi naman nila alam yung totoo. They can judge all they want.
"Sakin, hindi yun okay. I don't want them to brand you names," madiin niyang sabi.
I sighed, "I'm sorry for putting you in this kind of situation," mahina kong sabi.
Binalingan niya ako at nginitian. "Okay lang, baby. Kaya ko pang maghintay. Pero pakisabi kay Ash bilisang umuwi," he laughed.
I felt a pang of guilt in my chest again. I'm literally waiting for Ash to go home to break off our engagement. My heart is breaking for him.
Ayaw ko siyang saktan pero wala akong magagawa. I need to do it for me and Theo to be together.
"I talked to your tito Alex already," sabi ni daddy pagkatapos kamustahin ang program.
Natigilan ako sa pagkain. "What did tito said?" Medyo kinakabahan kong tanong.
"As expected he's not in favor of breaking off the engagement." I glanced at Theo. He was listening to my father attentively. "But he told me that you and Ash are in the right age already to decide for yourselves. The decision would be coming from you and Ashton, iha."
Mabilis na lumipas ang araw. One Wednesday afternoon, I received a call from Ash.
He said that he's already back in the country. I was surprised because he didn't inform me prior. Akala ko sa Sabado pa siya uuwi. Ashton asked me to have dinner with him. Agad naman akong nagpaalam kay Theo.
"I missed you so much" niyakap ako ni Ashton ng mahigpit nang makita niya ko sa lobby. "I love you, Sadie."
Napalunok ako dahil sa sinabi niya.
Panay ang kwento niya kung anong nangyari sa business trip niya sa Germany. He was literally telling me everything that happened to him during his stay. He was also extra clingy to me. Parang ayaw niya pa pakawalan yung kamay ko nung kakain na kami.
"Mr. Wagner really stressed me out. But it was all worth it because I closed the deal with him. Buti nalang talaga."
"Ash-"
"And did I told you that I had a problem with the hotel I'm staying?"
"You did. Ash-"
"It was so disappointing. The last time we stayed there, hindi naman tayo nagkaproblema diba? But now, their customer service is so poor."
And another thing that I noticed its that he's cutting me off. Kitang-kita sa mukha niya ang kaba sa tuwing ibubuka ko ang bibig ko kaya naman nawawala sa isip niya na paulit-ulit na ang ilan sa sinasabi niya.
Kahit pagkatapos namin kumain ay hindi kami kaagad nakaalis dahil sa kanya. Pinagmasdan ko siya habang nagsasalita siya.
Ashton Cordello. You will always have a place in my heart.
Simula nang magkamalay ako, kasama ko na siya. Looking back now, he was the big brother I never had. Bago naman mangyari yung kay Tita Leah, maayos ang pakikitungo niya sa akin. He used to tell me before that he's my knight in shinning armor. He took care of me when I was a kid and kept my company.
Even after the tragedy. I wasn't able to notice it because I was disappointed on how he's treating me. I failed to notice his pain. That eventhough it was hard for him to be with me, he stayed. In his own subtle way, the Ash I know stayed with me. He never avoided me completely. His care for me never disappeared. He never left.
Bumawi siya sa lahat ng pagkukulang niya sa akin sa nakalipas na limang taon. He gave me the attention that I've been longing to receive from him during my teenage years. He took good care of me. He made sure that I can feel his love.
Mapait akong napangiti.
I've been inloved with this man since God knows when. I even thought I'll never fall in love with any other man. I thought that my heart would forever beat for him.
But then Theo came.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Sadie. Naparamdam ko naman sayo sa mga nakalipas na taon diba?" bigla niyang sabi habang naglalakad kami palabas ng restaurant.
I nodded my head while staring at my hand that he's holding so tightly.
This would be the last time that he would hold my hand.
"Was I able to make up for the years I made you feel unwanted?"
He did. Tumango ako ulit.
He sighed heavily.
Mabilis ang naging byahe namin. I kept on playing with the ring he gave me during the trip. Nawala lang doon ang atensyon ko nang tumigil na kami sa harap ng bahay.
It's time.
Bago pa ko magsalita ay naunahan na niya ako. "I'm way too late, am I?"
Napatingin ako sa kanya. "You're planning to break off the engagement now, right?"
He closed his eyes tightly when I nodded. "Damn, Yno was right. You love the attorney that much?"
Huminga ako ng malalim bago nagsalita. "I do. I'm sorry Ash if I can't return your love anymore. I'm sorry if I have to cancel our wedding only two weeks before it happens. I'm sorry if I have to break your heart now. I promise, I appreciate everything you did for me but-"
"Let me guess, you just can't love me anymore?"
He sighed again when I nodded. "And I don't want to love other guys anymore. I love Theo so much. I'm sorry but we have to finish this. I don't want to spend my life with another man."
Kay Theo lang. Si Theo lang ang gusto ko makasama.
Daretso ang tingin niya sa madilim na kalsada. "You know how much I regret letting anger took over me? Sobra, Sadie. If I just admit it to myself that I'm inlove with you. This wouldn't happen."
"Siguro masaya tayo sa isa't isa. The marriage would probably push through. Years from now, we would have four kids just like how you told me when we were young," his chuckle was full of pain. "But it would never happen anymore. Because you're dreaming now with another guy. Hindi na ako yung kasama mo sa planong binubuo mo."
"I'm really sorry Ash. Minahal naman talaga kita."
"I know. And I'm too dumb to take that love for granted. Here I am now, full of regrets."
"Sorry," wala nang ibang lumalabas sa bibig ko.
"Never be sorry for fighting for your love, Sadie," nagtama ang mata namin. "This may sound stupid, but I already expected this to happen. That's why I was so threatened when I saw you with him years ago. Kitang-kita ko kasi na kaya ka niyang agawin sa akin."
He let out another sigh. "And he did. Nagbaka-sakali lang ako sa nakalipas na limang taon na baka bumalik pa sakin. But I guess your heart really found it's true owner."
It was quite dark in our place. I'm not sure if I saw it right, but I think I saw his eyes glistened with tears.
"And who am I to stop you from being happy?"
Umawang ang bibig ko, "Are you saying?"
"Yes. I'm..letting you go. Let's cancel the marriage"
It's a good news for me but I can't be fully happy about it. Not now. Not now that I know that someone is hurting because of me.
"Are.. Are we good?" I asked after a while.
I saw how he forced a smile in his face. Hirap na hirap niyang ginawa yun. "You just broke my heart and now you're asking me that. Can't I move on first?"
Malungkot akong napatungo. He reached for my hand and squuzed it tightly, making me look back at him.
"Not now, Sadie. But soon, we'll be. Someday."
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Enjoy reading!
P.S. Tinatamad ako mag-update kasi parang ayaw ko pa sila tapusin :<