Shawnie's POV
The next morning, I woke up naked, and next to Chris. This is becoming the usual, waking up naked. Sometimes, he likes to get it in the middle of the night and he likes to just fall into it. He hates having to take off my clothes in the middle of the night. Ever since he's stopped taking drugs, I swear he's developed a sex addiction. On second thought, I think that might've already been a problem.
I woke up before Chris, so I slid out of the bed, and ran me some bath water. I'm a little sore, he fucked the shit out of me last night. Broken ribs ain't stopping him for getting the sex he wants. Not that I'm complaining, I loved every second of it. He got mad at me because I made him pull out. I just want to make sure I'm not pregnant. I take two every morning, and they've been comedy out negative, but it's still too early to tell. So until then, he has to pull out, or until I can get my medications changed, so I can get back on birth control.
I ran my bath water, added some bubble bath and I got in. I scrolled on my phone for a while and I run across a picture of Aubrey. Damn, he's still fine as hell. If I can't say anything nice about him, I sure can say that.
I guess he was out somewhere last night. Not that I care, I'm surprised he didn't post a crazy caption about me with it. I'm so tired of him.
I continue scrolling, then I go by a picture I took of Chris while he was in the studio the other night.
I liked it and kept scrolling. Nothing poppin on ig. I went into my gallery and posted a picture, then I was interrupted by Chris barging in. He walks in, whips out his dick and starts peeing.
"Seriously, Chris?"
"What? Shit I gotta pee." He says laughing.
I try to ignore the interruption, and move on, "How do you feel today?"
"I feel good." He says
"That's good. I'm happy you've been feeling so much better. That probably means the drugs are flushed out of your system." I say
"I told you I could do this." He wipes his dick off and puts it back in his boxers, then flushes the toilet.
"You gonna get in with me?" I ask with a smile.
"Yeah, let me check my phone first."
"Why do you need to check your phone?" I ask
"The same reason you have yours now."
I drop my phone on the floor, on the side of the bathtub, "Babe, take off your clothes and get in." I demand.
"Aight." He takes off his boxers and get in the bathtub, he sits in front of me.
"You're so annoying." I laugh as he lays back on me and I wrap my arms around him. "So babe...."
"Uh-oh." He laughs, "What up baby?"
"I was thinking about therapy...."
He cuts me off, "Nah, babe. I don't wanna go back."
"But I really think it'll be good for you. She can really help you. You're drug free, this is the perfect time. You have a clear head."
"If I go with you, maybe, but by myself, hell Nah." He says and I'm okay with this. I think I have to take what I can get. Maybe after he sees how good everything is going with us going to hurt together, he will wanna go by himself eventually.
"Okay. I'll accept that."
We fall silent for a few minutes, he was running his fingers up and down my leg, and I was just enjoying the silence. We don't get this often, it was very relaxing.
"You wanna talk about the baby?" Chris asks nervously.
We haven't talked about it since that day we argued about it. I don't want to talk about it. I just take the test, and hope for the best, meaning it's a negative test.
"I don't think I'm pregnant. I've been taking the tests and they've been negative."
"Oh."
"Are you upset?" I ask
"A little. I want to start a family with you. I want to get married to you one day and just be happy. The timing wasn't right, but I was fully prepared after this tour to chill out for a while."
"Me too." I kiss his neck, "But for us to get there, we need to be healthy mentally, and therapy is a start."
"I'm just not ready to open up about my past, my childhood wasn't the best. I have some issues babe." He says
"I know, but that's what it's there for, to help you cope with that, move on and become a better person. You have to free your mind, get it out."
"I'll think more about it but I can't make any guarantees." He says
"Okay. Is there anything you want me to do?" I ask
"Yeah, you can hop on my dick for a while."
"Baby my hips hurt. You want me to ride you like a fucking horse for hours, every couple of hours. I'm tired." I laugh
"Hm. Okay."
"What does that mean?" I ask. That felt kind of negative.
"Nothing. So when we get out, you gonna bend over?" I don't want to but I know if I don't he's probably going to get mad, which can lead to him cheating.
"Of course. Whatever you want babe." I say
We didn't make it to the bed, we had sex in the bathtub. When we were done, we got dressed for the day.
I was in the bathroom putting my hair up into a ponytail and I felt a wave of nausea come over me. I put my hands down on a vanity and lean onto it a little bit trying to grasp the concept, this feels like morning sickness. I stand there for a few seconds trying to get an overall feel of what's going on right now.
"This can't be...." I say to myself.
As soon as I say that I start to feel even more nauseous, and my stomach begins to turn. Chris was in the bedroom on sitting on the bed on his phone. I walked over, closed and locked the bathroom door, As soon as I turn around, I begin to feel myself feeling like I wanted to throw up. I rushed over to the toilet, lift the seat, and I instantly threw up in the toilet.
"Oh my god..." I say to myself, picking myself up off of the floor.
"Baby are you okay?" Chris says from the other side of the door, trying to open it.
"I'm okay babe." I yell
"Are you throwing up? Open the door. Why is it locked?"
"Baby, I'm okay...I'll be out in a minute." I flush the toilet, and take a couple of seconds to get myself together. I walk over to the sink and brush my teeth again. After I was done, I run cold water over a face towel and place it over my face.
I close my eyes, then I inhale and exhale. This isn't happening, not right now. Maybe this is just a reaction to some bad food or something, because this can't be morning sickness.
I'll take the towel off of my face, and I hang it on the towel rack. I finish my hair, and fix my makeup, then I walk out of the bathroom. Chris was standing right by the door, when I walked out.
"You okay?" He asks taking my hand.
"Yes Baby. I'm fine." I say, then kiss him on the cheek.
"Okay..." he looks at me suspiciously. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah." I gather my things and we head out.
Chris wanted to do some shopping. We hit a few stores. We, meaning him and I, plus his security, Kevin and Ryan. They followed close behind us in another car. Chris was in his Bentley truck today.
One of the stores he wanted to go to was CoolKicks, on Melrose. The owners, Danny and Adeel, and Chris are really good friends, so he's always there. Everyone knows Chris is always at this store, and that's why I don't like going. Fans hang out there hoping to see him, and today was no different.
We pulled up to the store and oddly enough, no one was hanging outside. His security went in first to clear the store.
"I hate this store." I say scrolling on my phone.
"They're going to make sure everyone is out. It doesn't look like there's many people in there." He says looking out the window.
"You can go in without me. I'll stay in the car." I say
"Nah, you're coming in with me. Come on, let's just go, it's only like three people in there."
I sigh, as he gets out of the car and comes over to open my door. I get out and here they come. A lone pap comes over taking pictures. We don't say anything as usual and we walk into the store.
Chris starts looking at shoes, while I sit down on the bench and wait. I scan the room. There's two guys and a girl in here, they're all by themselves. Chris says what's up to one of the guys because they were standing close to each other, the other guy was at the register purchasing his items, and the girl was on the other side of the store looking at shoes.
"You like these baby?" I look up and he shows me Jordan's.
"Of course."
"I need all three of these in a 5 and 10." He says to the employee.
I go back to my phone and I hear Ryan talking to a woman. He said, "maybe once he's done." I knew it was a fan. I looked over in their direction and it was the girl that's been in here.
Chris walked over on the other side of the store, and started looking at the clothes. A couple of minutes later, I hear him talking. I tune in to see who he's talking to and what he's talking about.
"Nah...." He laughs, "What you do?"
"I'm a stylist." a woman says.
"Oh word? That's cool." He says
"So can I give you my number? Maybe we can link up." She asks
"Nah, I can give you my managers info, and you can go from there." Chris says
"But I want you to have my number." She says
I'm listening to this conversation and I'm just getting more and more pissed off by the second. He's trying to tell the bitch to back off in a nice way, but she isn't taking the hint.
"I can't do that sweetheart." Chris says nicely. This bitch is not taking no for an answer.
"Yes you can, just take your phone out of your pocket, I'll put it in." She says
I roll my eyes, "This bitch."
I get up and walk over to them. She was trying to give him her phone. I take her phone out of her hand and throw it towards the front door of the store, "He's trying to let you down easy, but you're too stupid to understand that. He don't need a damn stylist. Get the fuck out of here!"
"BABY!" Chris says, shocked at my actions.
"Go away." I say to the woman. I grab Chris' hand and we start to walk in the opposite direction.
"Bitch please, he doesn't even want you." The girl says.
I turn back around to her, "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
I let go of Chris' hand, I walk up on her, and I go to slap the shit out of her, but Chris jumps in front of me.
"Nope!" Chris says. He hugs me, backing me up, away from the girl. "You need to get the fuck out of here." He says to the woman, pointing towards the door.
"BITCH, I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS!" I yell. Chris was still holding on to me, basically hugging me, so I couldn't get to her.
"She doesn't want you either Chris, she wants Drake." The girl says, then starts laughing.
I try to get around Chris, but he won't let me get to the woman, still holding on to me.
"GET THAT BITCH OUT OF HER." Chris yells at his security.
Ryan picks the girl up and gets her out of the store, while Kevin stands by the door. By this time no one was in the store, just the two employees, and us.
Chris lets me go, then starts laughing, "Baby, you can't do that."
"Fuck that bitch." I say. I was pissed off, fixing my clothes and hair.
"You were really going to beat her ass?" He sees how pissed off I really am now.
"Yes."
"That Chicago came out real fast, you were ready to fight." He says joking with me, but I'm still mad at the bitch. "I'm not gonna lie though, that shit was sexy." He wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck, "I wanna fuck you right now."
"I'm sure you do. Get your stuff so we can go. I told you I didn't want to come in anyway." I was still mad but as soon as he kissed my neck, it melted away.
"Okay, baby, but give me a kiss first." He was standing there, looking at me with a serious face. I think he really was turned on. Nasty ass.
I stand on my toes and I kiss him on the lips, "I love you."
"I know, but I love you more." He smiles
I sit back on the bench, waiting for him to finish shopping, and purchase his items so we can go.
That woman really pissed me off. Why would she try to talk to him right in front of me. She didn't want to style him, she wanted to fuck him. Fucking groupie.
I don't normally act like that, but I was so pissed. That whole situation enraged me. Chris was nicely trying to tell her to kick rocks, but she wasn't trying to have it. I don't know why I went off the way I did, I just snapped, and Chris ol crazy ass said it turned him on. I swear something is wrong with him, but I love his crazy ass, and yeah, I'll beat a bitch ass for him.
*********
Chris' POV
Later that day, I was at home playing around in my studio, just writing and listening to some tracks. I try to stay working to keep busy and not think about using, or any of my issues. I was home by myself, Shawnie went into the office to do some work. I love the fact that she's still working after all of this. I can honestly say she loves what she does, and I love that she likes to work. I have a problem with it, and I still respect the fact that she wants to keep her 9 to 5 while she's with me.
My phone rang I look at the screen and I see it's my mom. I haven't talked to her in a while. That's my fault though. I've had so much going on lately. I've really just been busy. I know I shouldn't be too busy to talk to my mom. Ill take responsibility for that, it's messed up.
"Hello?" I answer
"Oh hello Christopher! Nice of you to pick up the phone." She says
"Hey Ma!" I say excitedly
"I haven't talked to you. I was just calling again to check on you. You never answer the phone anymore. I'm used to talking to you everyday, or every other day, but I haven't talked to you in a few weeks." She says
"I know ma."
"I see the news, and social media what's up with you?" She says, upset.
"Nothing much, and I'm sorry ma. I've just been busy. I've been shooting visuals, working on my album, and BP, on top of trying to stay clean. Shawnie and I are back together, and she's been helping me stay clean." I explain.
"Oh, Shawnie. You know I like to stay out of your business, and especially your love life, but the way you've been acting lately isn't how I envisioned your future, or your relationship. I don't think you should be entertaining this relationship thing with her anymore." She says
"Relationship thing?" I ask. "This isn't what you envisioned?" I add. "Ma, this is my relationship. I love her, and I think she's good for me." I explain.
"Is she?" She asks, getting on my nerves. "Was she good for you when you were having late nights with Diamond or Jonica and any other woman I've seen you with? And what about Ammika? She didn't just pull that baby rumor out of her ass, did she?" She adds, "But I guess loving someone, makes you wanna be with everyone else except the one you love, huh." She finishes.
"Ma, chill out with all that. Shawnie is good for me. I don't wanna hear that shit. I've been clean for two weeks now because of her. She is literally taking care of my right now. Don't be bringing up old stuff for no reason." I say, trying to control my temper.
"Two weeks Chris? Well that's good for you, but you shouldn't have been on the shit in the first place. What is your problem, Christopher? You're doing drugs again. I don't like this. I don't understand how you're going back to your old ways. Why are you reverting back to the old Chris?" She fusses
"I don't know, ma. Shawnie feels the same way, that's why she's been helping me. She's been cooking all of my meals, making my smoothies in the morning, making sure I eat healthy, keeping me busy, and when I was sick and in pain, she—."
She cuts me off, "Shawnie, Shawnie, Shawnie!! I'm tired of hearing that woman's name. Why do you feel you need her to help you anyway? If you ask me, she's the reason that you're back on the shit. Get your shit together!!" She continues to fuss.
"Why don't you like her now, all of a sudden? A few months ago, you were cool with her. Talking to her everyday, and now you don't like her? What changed?" I ask
"She has my son out here messing his life up. She's doing more harm than good." She answered.
"Whatever, ma." I say. She don't know what she's talking about. Shawnie has done a lot of good for me.
"Don't whatever me!! Now you're being disrespectful. You are not acting like a man, you're acting like a little boy. You need to grow up. I can't believe the way you're treating these women, using and abusing them isn't how you would want a man to treat me. You can't say this girl is helping you, when all I see in the media are fights between you two, and you stalking her. You're getting into fights with other men over her...Your image is messed up. You're partying like crazy, and you haven't seen the inside of a church since Kae."
"Why the fuck you bringing Kae up for? Karrueche is dead to me. I'm in a whole other relationship. She doesn't have shit to do with this. That shit is old. I've moved on, and I'm happy. Fuck her." I fuss
"No you're not happy, Chris." She starts
"How are you going to tell me if I'm happy or not? I think I would know if I'm happy." I yell
"Watch your tone, Christopher. I'm not them little girls you be running around with. Did you forget, you came out of me?"
"No, I didn't. What I forgot was how mean you could be." I say
"Mean? Sorry if the truth hurts son, you need to get your life back on track. YOU, need to get your life back on track. Stop depending on all these little girls, drugs, and all that other shit you're using as a DISTRACTION, and FOCUS on getting YOURSELF together. Leave that woman alone. Stop fucking up her life, and tell her to stop messing yours up. I didn't raise you to act like this. I raised you to be independent. To stand on your own two feet. To treat women with respect. To have faith, and to use it. Not to be out here doing whatever you've been doing. Just a disgrace. Get your shit together, and get it together quick." She fusses.
"Man, shut up with all of that. I'm a grown ass man and I got me. I been had me. I don't need nobody and I don't need this from you, of all people, you're supposed to be the main one supporting me, no matter what." I say, pissed off and hurt.
"You just don't like what I'm saying, but I'm your mother, and I'm going to tell you straight, weather you like it or not. Now get your shit together and don't call me until you do." She says hanging up in my face.
I was so pissed. How the hell is she going to tell me I'm acting like a little boy. I'm a man, a grown ass man at that. She's just mad because she thinks Shawnie is taking her place, just like Shawnie's dad thinks the same thing. Why can't they just be happy for us. We've finally found our better half, in each other.
My mother knows how to push my buttons but today she's gone too far. Way too far. I don't think I've ever been this mad at her. Then she talked about Shawnie? Oh my god. I honestly don't know if I can forgive her for this.
I threw my phone across the room. I was livid. I need to talk to Shawnie, she's the only person who can calm me down.
I get up and find my phone on the floor. I pick it up and call Shawnie. It rings, but she doesn't answer, it goes to voicemail. I end the call and call right back. It goes to voicemail again. What the fuck is she doing that she can't answer my call? I throw the phone again. Fuck this shit.
I yell out in frustration, before punching the wall, leaving a huge dent. I could care less. Fuck that damn wall. Bitchass wall.
I go upstairs, grab my keys and I take a ride to my boy, Q's house. I drove 15 minutes to Sherman Oaks and parked on his driveway, and called him.
"What's up?"
"Man I haven't talked to you in a month." He says
"Yeah, I know. I got....." I start looking through my wallet, counting my cash, "...a couple hundreds. Get me half of the usual, and that CB."
"You sure?"
"Yup! Hurry up, so I can get back home. I don't know where Shawnie is, and I want to get back before her." I say trying to rush him.
"Aight, I'll be out in a minute."
I end the call. He comes out a couple of minutes later, hands me a Nike crossbody bag, I sit it on my lap and open it. I smile. The usual, Chris Brown, that's my special blend he named after me. It's laced with something extra special, fentanyl. I don't smoke this often, because I can't drink with it, but I don't want no damn alcohol right now anyway. I'm not exactly sure why he named it after me, but I do smoke it every now and then, when I want to get fucked up, and right now, I want to get fucked up.
"You know what, I don't need this many pills." I take out my ounce, take some of the three different kinds of pills. Xanax, Percocet, and Ecstasy. I put my money in the bag and gave it back to him. "I put a little extra in there for you too."
"Hush money?" He says
"You know it."
"Aight, let me know if you need anything else." He says
"I definitely will."
He walks away and I head back home.
Soooooo, What do y'all this about this?? What do you think is going to happen with Chris?
What about Shawnie?