I opened my eyes and my vision was in horizontal view, I realized that I'm in Julien's apartment. Turning around I felt my head was resting on an arm, Julien's beautiful face was facing me, he was still asleep.
His hand was sprawled on my bump, my stomach was swarmed by this jittery butterflies. I leaned my face closer to his and I kissed his cheeks. He mumbled a few words and he was still asleep.
"Wake up, sleepyhead" I said and I stole another kiss on his cheeks. He groaned and slowly opening his eyes with a smirk on his face.
"If you stole another kiss, I might hold on to you forever" he said in a husky tone, his eyes were darker with lust and trying to control himself. I blushed profusely and my breath was getting deeper.
I laugh escape my lips and he hugged me tighter. "I like you Zoe maybe even falling in love with you" he whispered sweetly.
"I know that this is too fast to happen but the moment I saw you entering my shop, I know and I'm so sure that I have to know you and here I'am falling hard from a 100 floor dive of love" he confessed.
"I like you too Julien. I really do" I snuggled closer at the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent.
"Then be with me Zoe" he whispered, his voice was pleading.
I leaned my head back, using my free hand to cup his face. "I'm not giving you an answer right now. Can't you see that I'm in my vulnerable state that any sweet and promising words can make me sway from what I really feel and want"
"I want to think this over Julien, I don't want to cling on someone because I'm in a mess and I don't want to depend on someone who just say comforting words to me" I said and my eyes were getting watery.
"I don't want to get your hopes up. I want to solve this in a mature way not some teenage love affair who needed warmth and temporary fling. This time I want to be so sure of it, so sure that when I make that decision and look back I will not have any regrets." I let the tears face and we both looked hurt.
"Friendship is all I can offer to you right now, A true and full of love bond" I said and he wiped my tears with his thumb.
"Please don't stress yourself about us. We are still young and dreaming, we might find who is really destined for us but right now we are not those destined ones for each other" I sobbed as I pour my heart out to him.
"Beside you deserve someone better than a knocked up and broken chick" I joked.
"We deserve everyone in our lives, we just have to put a lot of effort and love so at the end we both deserve one another" he looked at me in the eyes.
I never felt this heartbroken in my life. Sure I have experienced my fair share of heartbreaks but this one is climbing off the charts. I really hate to break a heart of a really great guy, as much as I want to say yes to him, I know that this will be sure an ephemeral love. What kind of woman who dreams of having that kind of love; no one.
I know I have Max right now and I really do love him but what is happening right now I really don't know, My mind is clouded with thoughts and my heart was tied on both ends and two people were pulling the ends. I'm in the middle of tug-of-war and it hurts me the most. Who will I choose? the one who loves me or who I love but with uncertain future.
"I wish that I met you first" he whispered and I leaned back to look at his eyes.
"Fate has other plans for us but no matter what I'm glad I met you even though we met in a tangled web of circumstances". I whispered and he leaned forward to kiss me. It was a sad and chaste kiss.
I accepted his kiss, but it was bittersweet and slow. He respected how I kissed him, he didn't pushed me to go in further. I felt love and secure, the insecurities and worries were getting swept out of my system
Our kiss seemed to last for an eternity. We broke our kiss to catch our breath, we were panting and sadness filled our bodies.
"I wish we could stay like this" I blurted out. "This messed up and confusing life that we have?" He arched his brow. "No, this feeling I can't describe with words" I placed my hand on his heart "Me too, but you are the one who said that you have to fix all your clouded thoughts before coming to a decision" He kissed my forehead
"I'm here with you Zoe, don't forget that as a friend" he gave me a heart shattering smile and I tear up once more, all I can do is nod.
We both stood up and I turned to look out of the window and it was already dark. "Do you want to eat?" He offered and I shook my head. "I'm going home, I'm really tired" I smiled at him and he nodded.
He grabbed his keys and all of my shopping bag. As we are walking the hallways he entwined his hands on mine.
He whistled a cab and it was already in front of us. He opened the door and put in the bags inside and We were both facing each other.
"So this is goodbye?" He said and went to hug me hard.
"More like see you later" I smiled back at him.
He cupped my face and gave me a peck on the lips.
"Okay" He said smiling at me.
"Okay" I said and entered the cab and we drove back to the hotel room.
I didn't look back, I'm afraid that I might do something that I might regret in my life so I put on brave face and I looked forward. During the middle of the ride my phone beeped.
I can't say this in front of your beautiful face but I just realized this the moment you entered that cab is that I love you and I will definitely wait for you whether you like it or not - Julien
With that I came crashing down. I cried inside the cab and I saw that the driver was looking at me in his rearview mirror looking worried. I hold on to my bump, it really hurts. My body was shaking and my weight was becoming light and cold.
After a few more minutes, the driver told me that we have arrived at the hotel. I gave him the fare and the a hotel staff helped me with my bags.
I rode the elevator with my chest pounding and hurt. I have to face Max and I really have to sort out what is going to happen with our relationship.
When I reached the door. This is it!
I swiped the card key and slowly crept my way in the foyer. All the lights were on and I walked my way to the living room. Max was sitting with the laptop on his lap doing some office work obviously. He turned his head on my direction and he gave me a smile.
"Where have you been?" He motioned me to seat beside him. I slightly flinched but I still went to sit beside him, he put his laptop on the coffee table and he carried me to the bedroom.
I laced my arms around his neck and I snuggled at his warmth and scent. "Out. Discovering Chicago" I said in a hushed tone and I can feel the soft rumbling of his laugh on his chest.
He laid me on the bed and I sat up, he got me a change of clothes and he helped me to get dressed since I was so drained and tired to change. I don't have the problem for Max to change me because what for? He already saw me on my birthday suit.
After changing my clothes, we both lay down and he spooned me his hand was on my bump, rubbing it gently but I can't hug and be intimate with him right now.
"You seem so down" he asked kissing the edge of my shoulder. I hummed "just tired that's all" I said exasperation was evident on my voice.
He turned me around and staring to give me feather kisses on my lips but I pushed my self slightly away from him. "What is the problem Zoe? Baby just tell me" he was giving me a suspicious look.
I hesitated at first, whether to confront him now or not.
"Have you ever experienced that one morning, you woke up and you are unsure of the the relationship you're into?" I said and he looked at me in a very weird way.
"No, Why? Are you having doubts in our relationship?" He was getting the hints.
"It is just the movie that I watched this morning. Making me more emotional add the pregnancy hormones." I gave him the smile that I can muster and he gave me sweet and assuring kiss on the lips.
"Good night baby" he whispered and he turned off the bedside lamp.
"Night" I said with that I slowly shut my eyes off.
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The morning arrives and I feel like I'm not in my own self anymore. I stood up to go to the ensuite bathroom, looking at the mirror I winced at my horrible face. I was puffy and my eyes were kinda red and swollen from all the crying.
Even in the middle of the night and Max was sound asleep, I can't stop the tears from falling, I was consumed by my own thoughts, thinking about my decision and what I really feel and want. I felt like I was in Adele's song Chasing Pavements
Should I give up or should I keep on chasing pavements?
Fucking seven doors of hell, I'm so messed up that I'm referring my life with a song. I groaned loudly at the thought and Max walked inside the room.
"Good morning baby" he looked happy and walked towards me, circling his arms around my waist and kissing my nape. I was starting to weaken and a moan escape on my lips.
"Morning too you" I said in a husky tone.
"I forgot to tell you that we are leaving this afternoon back to New York" he mumbled on the crook of my neck and I gently ruffed his hair and nodded.
We ordered our breakfast and we just ate in silence. It was really different, I suddenly missed our live and chatty morning, were he will play footsie like a teenager and snatching each others food but now it was the scrapping noise of the utensils that filled the room.
"Why did you just tell me that we are going home?" I asked under my lashes while sipping my tea.
"You were so tired last night and I just want to go home and be alone with you" he was slicing his food not looking at me.
"Ok, well I'm finished and I'm going to start to pack" I wiped my lips with the napkin and stood immediately went to the room to start packing my things.
I took our overnight bag and placed it on the bed. I started putting my essentials on a zip lock and folded all the clothes that were on the room.
"Need help with that?" Max plopped down on the bed taking out his phone to play a stupid game that he was having a hard time winning it.
"Actually yes, you can start by sorting out the souvenirs that I bought" I smiled at him but he was concentrating on the game.
"God dammit!" He slammed his fist on the bed and I giggled.
"What are playing by the way?" I asked getting curious, might as well download the game on my phone.
"Duets" he mumbled placing his phone on the bed and walked to the side of the room to take all the shopping bag that I accumulated from the trip.
"Ms. shopaholic did you just bought the whole souvenir shop?" He laughed.
"No and I'm not turning into a shopaholic. I was just the typical tourist" I threw a small tower at him and he catches the object.
He started to sort out the gifts that I bought while I was going back and forth to pack our bags.
"Hey baby! Who is this?" He took out a picture frame out of a small paper bag. It was Julien's gift for his uncle. "Oh look there is a letter" he said flipping a small envelope forgetting the picture frame.
I quickly snatched the bag from him, making him surprised from my record speed from snatching the bag from him. I looked at the envelope and it was for me.
A remembrance from our adventures x Julien.
It was hand written and I took the picture frame and it was a 4 picture collage of Julien and I when we went to the sky deck. I smiled at the pictures, the first two was our serious pictures of the view and the last two were our goofy faces. I laughed forgetting that Max was in the room and he grabbed the picture frame from me.
I was too late to grab it back, he was looking at the picture and I swear that his face turned into a stone. "Who the hell is this Zoe?" He growled.
"Julien, just a friend" I said nonchalantly and I looked at Max, he was in jealousy mode.
"Why didn't you tell me that you met someone during your trip mainly a guy?" His face was screaming jealousy and I felt nothing.
"Not worth mentioning" I resumed packing his things and he stopped me by holding my arm
"Don't you dare cheat on me Zoe, you are mine" he said in a possessive tone and I scoffed.
"If you are hearing yourself right now, it should be the other person saying that line not you" I pulled away from him and put my hand on my waist giving him a bitch look. I left the room avoiding further argument with him. I went to the kitchen to let my frustration out, I growled irritably.
Max's POV
After hearing Zoe arguing back, saying surprised was an understatement. I felt chills running all through out my body. Was she implying that She already knows that something happened between Michelle and I?
Also add the attitude of Zoe for the past few days, after her meeting with Michelle it seems that she was withdrawing from me. She was less intimate with me and I really miss her.
Her smile was forced and it feels empty. I really miss her smile, her stolen kisses and everything about her. I feel incomplete when she not around me or feeling sad.
I went out the bedroom to look for Zoe and I found her in the kitchen.
"Baby" I said in a low tone but she wasn't turning around and decided to walk towards her.
"I'm sorry I acted like an idiot inside" I buried my face on her shoulder and she tensed.
"I'm just jealous that a guy was with you while you were touring Chicago instead of me" I pressed kisses on her shoulders and she was not moving.
"I'm sorry also for acting like a bitch" she turned around and gave me a kiss, I felt like it was the last kiss coming from her.
"How about a movie and cuddle?" I cupped her face and she nodded.
--------------------------------
We spend our remaining hour in Chicago with watching a movie and a silent cuddle. I pressed kisses on her forehead but she will only clutch on my shirt harder.
After the movie, we took a bath together. I filled the tub with bubble soap and lukewarm water, we both stripped our clothes and dipped in the tub.
She was in between my legs and I hugged her from behind. We bathe in comfortable silence and we dried up each other.
We were in the bedroom, dressing for the upcoming flight when my phone rang. I picked it up and I looked at Zoe, she was staring at me.
It was just the aviation company, confirming that the plane is ready to use. I ended the call and went to back grabbed the clothes that were laid out by Zoe.
"Who was that?" Zoe sounded suspicious. "Just the aviation company" I said continuing to dress up and she collected all her things that she will carry on the flight.
I grabbed our things and went to the reception to check out and returning the card keys. I saw that the company car was waiting for us and when we were near the car, it opened immediately.
Michelle was already inside the car, giving us a smile. I looked back Zoe, thinking that she might be angry seeing Michelle but I was the one who looked surprised. She was not showing any feeling, it was so passive that it is scary to talk to her about it. She was silent and only gave a small smile to Michelle. I helped her get inside the car then Michelle transferred beside the driver's seat.
When we were all inside the car the atmosphere was deadly silent and thick. I reached for Zoe's hand squeezing it suddenly she gave me a smile. A weak and sad one making me more nervous and uncomfortable that something might happen.
"Why are you here Ms. Hart? Isn't it your day-off?" I asked in my business tone.
"I forgot to hand these documents yesterday Mr. Taylor" she slightly turned her body handing me a thick folder of the deals that we got.
I said a thanks and it turned silent again. Looking at Zoe on my peripheral vision, she was still looking outside looking gloomy. I lifted her hand and kissing it warmly.
She finally turned and gave me a smile, suddenly kissing me on my lips. I felt happy and a wide smile crept on my face and I rapidly took a glance at the glare that Michelle giving to me but I didn't let it affect me.
"Mind if I ask, how far along are you Ms. Jones?" Michelle looked interested then Zoe looked at her in the rearview mirror. "16 weeks entering my 17th" Zoe smiled while rubbing her bump, her eyes changed from empty to full of love for our unborn child. I smiled feeling proud at Zoe but when I looked at Michelle her face was screaming judgements for Zoe.
We reached the tarmac and Michelle gave us a business like hand shake. But I can still feel the heated tension between the two woman. "Have a safe flight Mr. Taylor and Ms. Jones" her voice was hinting with displeasure but I grabbed Zoe's hand showing her that I really want Zoe not her. She was just a mistake.
We boarded the plane without any altercation between the Zoe and Michelle. When we were flying back, Zoe immediately fell asleep on her seat and I let her be.
----------------------------------------------------
The ride back to her apartment was so eerie silent that for the first time in my life I felt scared and nervous about Zoe's attitude
She turned his head to the driver. "Sir, can you please alight the car, I need to talk to Mr. Taylor alone" she politely ordered and the driver gave him a smile and nod, he immediately alighted the car and went to the other side of the street and he took out his phone to call someone that made him smile.
Oh shit Zoe! I turned to her with confusion but my heart felt like someone stabbed it. I looked in her eyes and it crushed me further, the twinkling and happy eyes that I really loved was replaced with this dull and pained look. What is happening to my Zoe?
I assessed our relationship and I was all the reason that killed her happiness. I gulped down the hurt but it didn't fade away.
"Hey" it was all I could muster with all of my courage but she didn't react to it.
"Let's breakup" she said to me in a dead-pan tone.
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Uh-oh. Is this the end for team Max?
Can you feel that Zoe have unsteady feelings here in this chapter, well that is what I'm feeling right now. It is really hard.
I cried a bit while writing this chapter. It took me alot of time to do this because I'm getting unmotivated lately to finish this book. 😭😭😭😭😭
Sorry.
See you next year.