Qing got pissed at me the other day.
(Is this about the bike incident?)
No. Although yeah...Qing was still pissed off about that. But this is a different matter. Qing is mad at me but not mad enough to break up with me. He does growl at me, though. And also glare at me every once in a while.
I don't blame him really...for feeling pissed. It's my fault, I will admit as much. You see, I accidentally gave your Baba a hickey.
(Wait...what?! How could you give Baba a hickey accidentally? Accidentally? That doesn't make any sense...)
Yeah...I know it sounds highly suspicious and I want y'all to know that your Baba has the same question.
Qing: How could you give me a hickey accidentally? That doesn't make any sense...
Me: (swallowing hard) You see, Wang Qing, when you are in the throes of passion...
Qing: Throes of passion? What the hell?
Me: (capturing Qing's face in my palms) Listen to me first. When you are in the throes of passion, you do things accidentally. Like say "I love you" or propose marriage in a snowy meadow or give someone a hickey...
Qing: Two. Two hickeys. My neck is sporting two hickeys from you, Feng Jian Yu.
(*gasped* Two hickeys! You gave Baba two hickeys?!)
Let me explain.
Me: (eyes shifting) You see...when you are in the throes of passion...you do things accidentally...twice.
Qing: You are recycling your explanations now? You are full of bullshit, do you know that?
Me: (letting his face go) Oh come on! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I have bitten you enough to leave marks. Do you hate them so much?
Qing: No. But you know that as an actor and an active social media poster, I cannot show marks on my body that would suspiciously give fans a reason to think that I'm having sex.
Me: (pouting) Fans are weird. We are humans too. We have needs. They should let us have sex.
Qing: Fans let us have sex. They just don't want to see evidence that their idols are having sex with vampires.
Me: I'm not a vampire!
Qing: (dry tone) Tell that to my neck.
Me: (staring at Qing's neck) Look Neck...I'm not a vampire.
Qing: (growling) Stop being a wiseass and promise me that you'll never bite me again. Accidentally or whatever...
Well, talk about asking for something impossible.
Me: How can I control my actions while I am in the throes of passion?!
Qing: Stop with the throes of passion excuse already! It's irritating me, Feng Jian Yu!
Me: Well...you bite me as well!
Qing: I bite you in places that could be easily covered with clothes.
Me: Then cover them with clothes. Or anything like a scarf...or turtlenecks...
Qing: (eyes narrowing) It's summer already. You really expect me to walk around wearing a scarf or a turtleneck? Look here Dayu ah, if I went to a meeting or script reading in a turtleneck with this kind of weather...I might kill someone before offing myself.
Me: Why do you always have to threaten me with killing someone? You are a very violent man.
Qing: (scoffing) I will be damn if I will get lectured at being bloodthirsty by someone who suggested that we should cut my finger just to get back his ring.
Me: I suggested that we do it in a hospital where there's plenty of doctors who can stitch up your fingers back together again.
Qing: (eyes narrowing) For a short guy, you have lust for blood.
Me: (affronted) I'm not short!
Qing: (smirking) That's your issue, right? Being called short instead of being called a blood devil.
Me: You already called me a vampire and now a devil...wow, Wang Qing...you sure like associating me with the world of darkness.
Qing: (nodding) I don't think that's a bad idea. You'll be the perfect Prince of Darkness. With your boyish charm and innocent like looks, others will think you are pure and angelic when in truth, you are the very devil himself.
Me: I am angelic!
Qing: (chuckling) Who told you that? And just to be clear...they lied to you.
Me: Your Mama said I am a blessing from the heavens!
Qing: Ah, my mother. She is not really a reliable character judge when it comes to you. You totally have her under your spell.
Me: (growling) My own mother said I am an angel.
Qing: Really? Should we call her to confirm that?
Me: (panicking) No! Let's...not do that.
Qing: (smirking again) Why? Not feeling confident enough, Mr.I Am An Angel?
Me: (eyes shifting) Mama might have some lingering bad feelings about us keeping our engagement a secret from them. And besides, I think I was still young when Mama said that I am her angel.
Qing: I bet you were five then. When you turned six, it just went downhill from there.
Me: When I was five, Xiao and I met Meng.
Qing: Exactly. The trifecta of evil was formed when you were five and now...you three are the most insane people I know who has the gall to group themselves and call each other best friends.
Me: (eyes narrowing) I told you not to call me and my bestfriends insane! Wang Qing...you!
We had a staring contest. We are finally both pissed off. It's a tie now.
(You two are tiring sometimes)
Me: What is it that you really want from me anyways? An apology? A promise not to do it again? The first one is easy. The second one is impossible. What? Tell me what you want, Wang Qing!
Qing: (smirking) Justice.
Me: (confuse) What?
Qing: What has been the theme of our relationship lately? It's fairness, Dayu ah. Or getting one over the other. But I'll settle for justice and fairness. Never mind revenge, I just want some score to be tied. I am now sporting two hickeys...and to make it fair...
Me: You need to give me hickeys too.
Qing: (snapping his fingers) Bingo!
Me: (sighing) You are just horny. You should have just said that. We could have saved our time and breaths. Okay! Lets have sex!
Qing: (eyebrow raising) Who is talking about having sex? I just want to bite you. But sure, if you are offering fucks too, I'm in.
Me: Oh! You just want...I see...
Qing: (superior smirk) I always finds it gratifying. How much you love having sex with me. You crave it, right?
Me: (stammering) Who craves having sex with you?! Oi! Wang Qing!
Qing: (wincing) Your voice, really. It's so loud.
Me: That's because you are pissing me off. You know my voice gets loud and shrilly when I am angry. Anyways, forget about my loudness. Lets get this over with. You want justice, fine! Give me those hickeys, you petty jerk!
Qing: Ah...but my aggrieved heart.
Me: What now?! What aggrieved heart?!
Qing: I got stressed because of the hickeys, Dayu ah. My heart...it got hurt.
Me: Fuck you! You don't have a heart!
Qing sighed like I wound him. I hate this jerk! He is now making me guilty!
Me: (sighing as well) Okay. What should I do to make peace with your aggrieved heart?
Qing: Let me give you three hickeys.
Me: (eyes narrowing) So much for just wanting the score tied.
Qing: This will tie the score.
Me: Three hickeys? You just came up with that. Lets make this fair. We should let fate decide how much hickey you could give to me. Lets roll a dice.
Qing: Dice? Do we have one?
Me: You have a mahjong set here! We have dice! Stop acting like you don't know that!
Qing: (wincing) You are getting loud again. I will get that dice.
Qing got the dice. He studied it.
Qing: Love, I think you should agree with my number. Three seems reasonable. What if the dice stopped at six?
Me: What if it stopped at two? Or one?
Qing: Well...last chance?
Me: No! Roll that dice!
Qing: (smiling at me as he held the dice out to me) Maybe you should roll it. So you won't think I rigged it.
Me: (taking the dice from Qing) Good idea. My fate is now in my hand.
I threw the dice. I held my breath as we waited to see the number that will seal my fate.
(What happened? How many hickeys did you get?)
Okay. So...I now have...five hickeys all over my body.
(*controlled chuckles* Five?)
Don't laugh. I'm not happy. The dice stopped at five and that bastard Baba of yours had the gall to look at me with pity in his eyes and dangle the number three on my face again.
Well! I told him to shove that number three somewhere else. I am a man of my words and five it is!
I have one in the left side of my chest, near my left nipple. One on the side of my hip, another on the inner side of my right thigh. The fourth is on my right ankle, yes your Baba bit my ankle. And the last one is on one of my buttcheeks. I won't tell which side. But it's there. I feel the twinge everytime I am sitting.
Bastard Qing!
(Wow...those places...)
Whatever. After making love to me, Qing drew a bath and we soaked in there. He kept kissing my neck and shoulder as he soothed the bites he gave to me.
Me: You just gave up all your rights to call me a vampire ever again. You are the vampire! You biter!
Qing: (sexy chuckles) Your body calls on me to bite it. I love you, Dayu ah.
Me: And I love you too. Never doubt that. My love for you is the only reason why I am still with you.
Qing: (kissing my cheek) I know. Thank you for loving me, Love.
Well...there is that. The score is all tied up and we no longer have hickey debt on each other.
But I am now extremely annoyed. I just found out that your Baba had a photoshoot yesterday and guess what he wore on those photos?
(What?)
Turtlenecks! Grrrrrr...
He made a fuss about not wanting to wear scarves and turtlenecks yet he wore turtlenecks during a photoshoot! I want to kill him! That Wang Qing!
(You two really...)