-Kaisa-
Four days have gone by since my reunion with the Special Operations Squad, Eren, and Hanji. We have three more days to prepare for the expedition Erwin planned about two weeks ago once Hanji's poor titan babies were killed by someone within the walls. Trust was beginning to wear thin between citizens and the Survey Corps as the Military Police started their task to create enemies within the walls.
Most of my injuries have recovered which is exciting because sitting still in one spot for days at a time began to take a toll on my mental health. The only thing that hadn't healed completely were the cuts on my arms, but that's to be expected. Regardless, I hated the feeling of doing nothing and a memory from yesterday pops up in my head.
"Please let me go outside!" I beg.
"No."
"Why not?!" I whine.
"Because you can't walk on your own yet."
"You're no fun, Levi." I pout and cross my arms.
"For once, can you stop acting irrationally and use your brain? Stop complaining. You're not going out, that's final." Levi scolds.
"But I'll be fine, don't worry!" I drag out my words.
"Tch." He begins, "Fine, you can go outside if you want." He agrees.
My face lights up. "Really?!"
"Yes, you can. But if you go out today, I'm not bringing you on the expedition." Levi provides the condition to my freedom.
I'm still inside of the castle recovering.
I can walk and jog on my own now, but even still, Levi informed everyone to prevent me from doing any heavy lifting or real work besides the casual dusting here and there. I've tried everything from bribing people with rations, to private lessons on how I use my gear. No one seems to care though.
"Sorry Captain Kaisa, but Captain Levi is way scarier than you while you're in this state." Eren shakes his head while sweeping the floor, turning down another opportunity to train underneath me.
"Why does everyone hate me?" I complain, sulking to the ground.
"Captain Levi! Captain Kaisa is guilt tripping me again." Eren calls out. A door slams shut from upstairs I hear footsteps clicking down the stairs.
"Nonono, don't call him, we'll pretend like it never happene-"
"Kaisa, you're more bothersome now than when you were a cadet. I think I lose braincells around you. I won't hesitate to punish you for your misbehaviour—you're supposed to be a role model, not an irritable child that I have to babysit." Levi pulls me up by arm and drags me towards the stairs.
"Levi~" I complain, letting my body go limp.
I hear a tsk above me before a now familiar feeling shocks me.
"AH! Oomph." My head smacks against Levi's back as he carries me over his shoulder up the stairs away from everyone else. I protest the action and beginning lightly pounding on his back to no avail.
"Eren! Help me! I'll be a dead woman if he takes me!" I reach out to the tall cadet.
He gives a small smile and waves at me before continuing to broom the floor.
"You traitor! I'll never forgive this betrayal!" I lay limp against Levi, letting my arms dangle down his back to lightly bump against him.
"Kaisa, I'm going to ask you one more time before I lose my shit, stop asking people to give you shit to do. Have you forgotten what you're supposed to represent?" He challenges as he brings me back to a room.
"Of course not, you dumbass. That's exactly why I want to do work—I hate being useless." I shoot back. He opens the door and closes it behind him. While doing so, I notice the neatly folded cape on the drawer next to the door and I realise we're inside of his room.
"Why are we here?" I inquire as Levi slides me down the front of his shoulders, placing me on the floor.
"Kaisa, you're really making my life really difficult right now. At this point, I'm going to have to put you on a leash because you're preventing the others from getting their work done." He scolds me. My chest aches, and I look down at our boots, suddenly finding them interesting. His words strike me and for the first time in a long while, I can feel the tears prick at the corner of my eyes.
"Cut the shit. I don't have time to be making sure you're not dying every single second of the day, it's exhausting." Levi says in annoyance.
"I see. I'm sorry." My tone doesn't match Levi's frustrated one, instead, it's monotone.
I lift my head, but not enough to see his face before lightly brushing against his shoulder as I walk pass him to leave. I place my hand on the doorknob before stopping.
"An easy solution to avoid my difficult and exhausting presence is simple: stop worrying about me—you don't need to. At least, that would be correct if I truly was your equal." I open the door swiftly and leave before he gives a response, gently closing the door behind me.
The second I hear the door click, I burst into a sprint and skip the stairs, deciding to launch myself over the top rails. I land in a roll to continue the momentum of my jump and open the door, closing it behind me as I rush off into the greenery. I don't have my gear but I have arms and legs for a reason, so I decide that it's time to do some old school climbing on my own.
I'm confident that Levi isn't going to rush after me, in fact, I don't want him to. There's no point in arguing over the same thing over and over again. Plus, it'd be better if we take a break from interacting with each other—clearly it wasn't working at the moment because of my injuries and his negative attitude is starting to get on my nerves.
I'm not worried about facing titans in the area that I'm in right now since it's relatively close to our temporary home, so I walk around peacefully, looking for a nice tree to climb and sit in. Soon, I find one that is perfect. It has large branches and a relatively close one that's near the ground which makes it easier to access for my small height. I'm not sure how well my body has recovered in the past four days but I'm going to figure it out by climbing this tree and seeing how much strain is put on my body. Letting out a deep breath, I take a small run towards the tree before and bounce off the tips of my feet, raising my hands to grab hold of the branch. I successfully do so and swing my legs over the same branch before using my upper body strength to pull myself up and over.
There was barely—if any—pain in my body when doing so, meaning that I probably was recovering quickly and most likely ready for battle. The thought of being able to fight again excites me and motivates me to take a riskier leap to another branch which I manage to land. The sun peaked through the leaves, almost begging me to see it in its complete radiance by sitting at the top of tree. I comply with the request and take another jump towards my freedom waiting for me on the highest branch.
Sitting at the top now, the breeze is brushing against my body and my brown hair is floating behind me while I have a huge grin on my face. This is what we're alive for. We're alive to experience wholesome moments like this, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Though, I can't help but wonder what more life could be like if there was someone else with me.
And just like that, my words are shoved back into my mouth when I see a flash of green swing up next to the tree I'm in before landing on a branch not too far from me.
"Oi, didn't I tell you not to push yourself?" The figure calls.
"Levi, there's no need to repeat what you've said, I ignored you the first time just fine." I sarcastically respond, returning my attention back to the view in front of me.
"I can explain the reasons behind my instruction for you, but I can't help you understand it, you moron." Levi shoots back.
"Hearing you talk makes my brain hurt." I roll my eyes.
"Keep rolling those eyes and maybe you'll reach back far enough to see if your brain is still even back in there." He presses.
"How long did it take you to come up with that one?" I retort.
"Nowhere near as long as it took you to get back to the castle on time." He shrugs.
"You take that back!" I gasp.
"Only if you shut that trap you call a mouth." He stares right into my eyes. We glare at each other before a giggle sneaks out between my lips.
"When did we become like this?!" I laugh, slapping my thigh in the process.
"What are you talking about?" Levi furrows his eyebrows.
"You...you were getting all serious and shit and it's just too funny to me, oh my goodness." Laughs escape me as I try to speak.
"I thought you were mad at me..." He says.
"For what? Trying to make sure I'm not hurting myself? Levi, I know you're just being strict because you care about me but get it through your thin ass eyebrows." I begin. "I'm not the cadet I was all those years ago. For fucks sake, I'm literally almost 24!" I remind him.
"I know you're almost 24, but you look like you're 18 and you're still younger than me so I still have to play babysitter." He mumbles. I jump over to his branch and take a seat in front of him, my back against the sun.
"Levi, you're 26. Two years is not going to be the death of me, literally. I'm just saying, you need to trust me and my judgement." I say softly.
"I do trust your judgement! That's why I let you go by yourself and look what the fuck happened! Did you hit your brain on one of the dirty rocks on the way back that made you dumber than a shitty worm?" Levi expresses.
"Whoa, there's no need to bring the worms into this, they help the earth just fine." I defend.
"Your body would have helped the world just fine too if you died and decomposed into the fucking soil." Levi leans back against the trunk, crossing his arms.
"You may be right, but, like I said, I'm not the young cadet anymore. If anything, me coming back to the group should have been enough to prove it." I flick his head.
"You're lucky that you're somewhat tolerable because I would have shoved you off the branch." He threatens.
"You're all talk and no bite, Levi. I got up here all by myself with no gear and didn't feel any pain because I understand when I need to rest and when I'm capable to be active. Please, let me start training, I feel like I'm fatter than one of those beasts." My hands land on my toned torso, trying to grab at the fat that doesn't exist. Levi looks me up and down which surprisingly makes me a bit self-conscious.
Why do I care about what he sees in me? Or rather, what he thinks I look like?
"Small things like combat are okay. No sword handling until the expedition." He gives his terms.
"Yay! You're the best Levi!" I shuffle my way forward towards him and wrap my arms around his neck the best I can.
"Tch, don't be so embarrassing." He responds. His hands don't come to hug me back, instead he uses them to push me away from him. I'd be lying if I said my chest didn't sting by his action, but at the end of the day, this relationship or whatever it was, would be dangerous to begin on a journey like this.
"U-um, a-anyway..." I stutter, looking away from him. "I'm gonna go help Hanji sort everything out with Eren, apparently they're doing more testing on his strength today after he finished cleaning." I put my hands on the branch to stand up when Levi suddenly reaches out to grab my wrist. I look up at him with confusion while his eyes are filled with passion.
"Kaisa...You should know that you have somebody to come home to." His voice is soft and gentle. I feel warm all over, my heart pounds against my chest and my stomach feels light all at once. I almost forget to breathe, but I return his gaze with the same energy.
"You have all of the squad waiting for you to come back, so stay alive for them." He finishes.
My hopes shatter right in front of me, but I don't let my face show my disappointment. These aren't the words I want to hear out of his mouth, but I guess it makes sense considering we're just comrades.
"Y-yeah. You're right." My voice falters a bit but I make up for it with a smile.
"Also, tell Hanji that she needs to clean up the mess she left in the kitchen. I swear to God that she has no regard for anything except her shitty glasses and titans." He shakes his head.
"Dinner is at 6:30 today, don't be late." He reminds me and takes off before I can even say bye.
I sit at the branch for a moment trying to comprehend what I've just experienced. It was a feeling unlike any other, and my chest ached the moments those words came out of his mouth. We were back at square one—the position in which he has no regard for me, rather, the concern of my relationship with others.
My cheeks slightly itch, and I reach up to scratch it before feeling the streams of tears falling down the sides of my face.
Ah, so this was heartbreak.
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hi hey hello!
thanks for reading this new chapter :)) im excited to delve deeper into the story :)
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much love and take care,
~cendiain