Tears tumbled down her cheeks, the screen from her laptop being the only source of light. The music bounced on the walls of her room; a sad playlist is playing.
Her jaw strained itself as she mouthed along to the music. A whisper of the lyrics fading in and out from her lips as she choked on her sobs. Fingers yanking at the chunks of hair bunched up in her hands.
Tonight wasn't a vibe. Well, it was a vibe but not a good one.
Depression was beating (Y/N) tonight, cursing her brain with thoughts. The stresses of her life hammering against her heart.
Just as she reached the high note of the song her phone suddenly rang. A sharp gasp was all she could muster as she slammed the pause button. Hastily bringing the phone to her ear as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Hello! How can I assist you today?"
A soft chuckle rang through her ears. An all too familiar voice which pained her like a striking melody. Each note of from his voice stabbing her heart.
"I hope you bought everything, assistant (L/N)."
"Of course~ I made sure to buy everything I needed, you'll be faced with all sorts of surprises."
She forced her usual preppy tone. Hoping to the Gods above that he wouldn't pick up on any stumbling or waver.
"Oh? May I enquire what kind of surprises?"
"Weeeell you're used to seeing me in office clothes or pyjamas, I made sure to get things more summer-y."
"Hope you received the email from assistant Kang, to buy a party dress."
Of course, she saw it. Jaehee is an exceptional and organised woman. She was everything her parents wished (Y/N) was. A perfect woman who can get anything done with precise and perfect brilliance.
"I'm completely prepared! Don't you worry, sir, are you prepared? I can't imagine you in vacation ware."
"Perhaps I have surprises as well."
"It'll be a restless night with all this excitement."
She was too lost in the wave of sadness to even remember that the vacation was happening. Well - it wasn't a real vacation, it was an informal business trip. But a woman can dream.
"I know you're looking forward to a vacation but this is still business, I do wish for you to be professional when in my presence....as much as you can."
"When have I ever been unprofessional?"
"I have a list, allow me to find it so I can tell you exactly when and where you have been-"
She immediately cut him off hearing the distant sound of papers ruffling. She could imagine him now; searching for an actual list with such a serious face. It made a smile crack on her face at the humourous image.
Her smile flickered back to a Trembling frown.
"Mr Han! It was sarcasm, I wasn't being serious."
"I should have known, it's so rare for you to be serious."
"Haha, you know me!" She hastily replied, forcing out a loud laugh.
"I assumed you were serious due to how your voice is wavering, have you been crying?"
Her heart stopped. (Y/N)'s eyes flickered from the mirror across her room and back to the phone. She stared at red puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She looked deep into her own glassy eyes as she hastily responded.
"Ah-! No! No way! Psssh! I don't cry, I'm super collected and too cool to cry."
"Am I allowed to know what is upsetting you...?"
Was he? Was he allowed to know he was one of the reasons she was crying?
She didn't blame him or genuinely think he was an issue but having her first relationship put her in a rollercoaster was affecting her. She may have stopped the ride but she still felt as if she was on it. Waiting in an abandoned ride, waiting for him to be ready to step back in.
"It's just- no I don't think it's appropriate- for god's sake-"
She angrily sighed. Giving up on her crumbling facade.
"I'm just very stressed at the moment, I actually deal with depression but I've been able to function with this new job but lately I've been in such a funk!"
"A funk? I apologize, I didn't notice that you were in such a state, I would have never assumed-"
"That's the point, no one was supposed to know."
"My house has been in ruins along with my mental state and I didn't want to say anything, especially to you as I didn't want you to blame yourself."
Jumin listened to his darlings struggles. It felt wrong to still consider (Y/N) as his darling but it was not as if his feelings went away. Guilt was gripping his heart, making an ache he's never experienced before. He's a man who's suffered through many aches but this - this felt so abnormal.
"I do feel guilt on my part for being a stress in your life and not realising you were struggling."
"You shouldn't, I'm just sensitive."
"That's an excuse to minimize your pain, I don't know much about mental health myself but depression is a serious issue."
"I'm sure you know more about mental health than you realize."
There was silence between them. Both trying to find the words to keep up the conversion.
The woman curled into herself, avoiding her own gaze in the mirror. Keeping the phone close to her ear as she sunk into the pillows beneath her.
Jumin sat at his desk, twiddling Elizabeth's tail between his slender fingers. His brows were knitted together as he still felt that guilt. A frustration within himself for not knowing everything. For not being in control and able to make her feel better.
"Perhaps." He finally answered.
They remained silent. Both listening to the breathing on the other end.
"Thank you for pulling me out of my funk for tonight, I'll be sure to be on my A-game for work."
"As expected, I know you can do anything you put your mind to but if you want some time to yourself I'll make an exception."
"Thank you, I won't take advantage of it."
"I know you won't, take care-"
The phone already hung up before he could finish.
"(Y/N)..."
Her name fell from his lips so naturally. A soft tender whisper that never fell to anyone's ears.
He'd give her some more time before he sends the car over to pick her up. To make it on time they'd have to leave late at night.
She needed time. He'd give it. He'd his darling the world.