How about that Pink Moon eh?
No, really...how was it? I ah...didn't get to see it because well...sometimes...uhm...living with Qing's parents are not that easy.
I don't know what is worse, Mama being visibly upset at me and doing her best not to interact with me or Baba who is asking me to be patient with her every, what feels like, ten seconds.
It gets exhausting...but I don't complain to Qing. He is probably having a tougher time living with my parents.
Qing: What are you talking about, I'm having a blast here.
Me: (sighing) Oh no, the Stockholm Syndrome already set in? They already convinced you that they are not torturing you?
Qing: (frowning) Love...are my parents torturing you?
Me: (laughing because he is joking after all) No. You know I like having tea. Having tea with Mama is great...
Qing: Okay, now you are lying. If you said having tea with my mother is fine, I will believe you. But to use the word "great"? You are overselling it. What's wrong?
Me: No! Nothing. Okay maybe a little. But you go first! How are they torturing...I mean treating you there?
Qing: (shrugging) Mama, Baba and I had a picnic this afternoon.
Okay...that is about the last thing I expected him to say. I mean, I was expecting cold shoulder treatment or constant barrage of complaints about me...but picnic? What?
Me: (utterly baffled) A picnic?
Qing: (nodding) We visited your paternal grandparents' graves.
My breath hitched. They...visited my PopPop and Nana without me?!
(PopPop?)
When I was young, I used to call my paternal grandfather as PopPop. When he died, I was devastated because I missed saying goodbye. I tried coming home from school faster but PopPop died while I was on my way to him. I still tear up everytime I am remembering him but he knows that I love him so much so...
That is not the point! The point is...
Me: Lets hang up, I have to call someone.
Qing: Who?
Me: Just hang up! I will call you later again. Bye!
I ended that video call so I can call my Mama.
Mama: (answering after the fourth ring) Hello, why are you calling?
Me: (accusatory tone) You took Qing to see PopPop and Nana.
Mama: (chuckling) That we did. And we brought grilled porkribs and my homemade coleslaw to a picnic.
Oh my! She...wow...my own mother is killing me!
Me: I love porkribs and your homemade coleslaw! And I would have loved to see PopPop and Nana! Why didn't we visit them when I was there?! Why did you take Qing there?!
Mama: (instantly annoyed) Why are you shouting at me?! Who are you to shout at me?
Me: (feeling frustrated) Because...you showed favoritism again! You really love Qing more than you love me! I'm your son!
Mama: (sounding distant) Here, talk to your son. He is being hysterical again.
Baba: (sighing) Hello, Dayu ah...what is wrong now, son?
So I told my Baba what is wrong.
Me: Whose idea was it to take Qing to see PopPop and Nana? I bet it's Mama's idea. She loves antagonizing me and she does it by showing she favors Qing over me.
Baba: It was my idea.
Me: (surprised at that) Oh. Okay. Then whose idea was it to bring porkribs and Mama's coleslaw there.
Baba: It was your Mama's idea. You love to eat porkribs and coleslaw when we go to picnics. She cooked those because she misses you so much she wants to eat to food you like to eat...
Mama: (sounding annoyed) Don't tell him that! Lies! I don't miss him. That ungrateful brat!
Me: See?! See?! She...hates me!
Baba: (grunting) Stop whining. Are you behaving there in the Wang mansion?
Me: (mellowing down) Of course I am.
Baba: Good. Be kind to Qing's parents.
Me: I am kind to them. And patient.
Baba: Good. Lets end this call and get to rest. Goodbye Dayu ah.
Me: Bye Baba. I love you.
Baba: (sighing) I love you too, Son. Even though sometimes, you put us in positions that makes it really hard for me to like you.
Me: I know. Thank you for always loving me.
Baba: (sounding distant) Talk to Dayu, Honey. At least say goodnight to him.
I heard Mama's grumpy sigh before she talks to the phone.
Mama: Goodnight.
Me: I love you.
Mama: (scoffing) Stop saying you love me and start showing it to me, Dayu ah. Start by respecting us, your elders. Stop giving me platitudes and start walking the walk and not just talking.
Me: I know. One day, I will show you how much I love you.
Mama: (sighing) I hope so. Goodnight.
Me: Goodnight Mama.
Okay...what did just happened? I was supposed to be angry about them taking Qing to a picnic to see PopPop and Nana while munching on porkribs and homemade coleslaw...why did it ended too soon? That conversation...
Huh?
(Your parents distracted you)
I think so too. They have distracted me. Sweet cheese sprinkles! I am still annoyed though! Oh...poor Qing. He has to bear the grunt of my annoyance.
(Poor Baba, playing the shock absorber again)
Yeah. Poor him. I will try to be gentle with him while letting off some steam.
Me: Lets break up.
(*facepalm*)
Qing: O...kay? What happened?
Me: (pouting) Mama loves you more than she loves me! She took you to a picnic to visit my grandparents' graves.
Qing: Yeah, it was cool. We hiked a little, spread a blanket on the ground and had a picnic. It was a lot of fun, Love.
Me: (scowling) Lets break up for real.
Qing: (laughing) How are you? Is Mama still ignoring you?
Me: (nodding) Yes. Poor Mama...she goes to some extra length just to spare me from lectures and stinky eye glares. She avoids me to not give in to her urge to snap at me.
Qing: And? What are you doing to soften her a bit?
Me: I gushed about you. I looked at your awards and trophies...your recognition plaques here in the mansion and told them how impressive you are. But I don't think it's working. It used to work before. When Mama was annoyed at us, I will gush about you and she will melt and love us again. Now, it's not working.
Qing: Maybe because Mama doesn't love me right now. What's the use of gushing about her son who hurt her? Maybe use a different tactic, Love. Enough with gushing about Mama's delinquent son.
Me: (nodding) I think you are right. I will use my other strategy then. Go with Baba's route.
Qing: (nodding as he understood my plan) Good. I think that one will work. If Mama sees how much you care about hers and Baba's welfares...her heart may thaw a little. Play the dutiful soon to be son in law well, Love.
Me: (nodding with determination) I will! I will make sure Mama will love me again.
Qing: (smiling) Well, goodluck. I know you can do it but I still wish you luck, Love. Don't worry, I will join you in Beijing soon. Baba and Mama were both urging me to go home to see if you haven't manage to burn the capital down.
Me: Hey!
Qing: (laughing) It will be an accident, I know.
Me: Yes! If I happen to burn the whole Beijing down, rest assured I didn't mean to do it.
Qing: (amused) Good to know. I feel a little relieve about that.
Me: Oh stop teasing me before I put it in my head to burn down this city indeed. (softer tone) I am losing hope, Qing. Our parents had never been angry at us for this long before.
Qing: (sighing) Stop worrying too much, it will be over soon. One way or the other, someone has got to give. We cannot be in this standoff for long. It will be over soon.
Me: That's what I am afraid of. That it will be over soon and the ending was our parents never forgiving us...ever.
Qing: (chuckling) Your pessimistic side is showing.
Me: And your boundless arrogance is on full display. Do you really think they won't be able to outlast us? That once again, they will overlook this...sin...we made...
Qing: They love us.
Me: I know. I just...we have given them so many heartaches already I feel like a total jerk. Ugh! Why did I even think about keeping our engagement a secret?! This is my fault.
Qing: Don't do that. We made the decision together and I stand by it. Not because of pride or arrogance but because that was the best for us. They can pout all they want but we did what we knew was best for us that time, Dayu. And I don't regret that decision. You shouldn't too...
Me: You think this is just them pouting? Qing! What if we hurt them too much that there's no going back from this?
Qing: There has to be. Or else...we will all lose. We will lose our parents, they will lose their sons. They need to find a way to forgive us and we need to find something to make it up to them.
Me: (biting my lower lip) Should we promise them grandchildren already?
Qing: (scowling) Don't even. I am not ready to have kids and so do you. Promising them grandkids will be a collosal mistake after collosal mistake. Don't even entertain the idea of overcompensating in that direction.
Me: (nodding frantically) You are right. That will be a huge mistake and it's overcompensating. It's overpromising. Okay. No grandbabies for Madam Wang and Feng. Got it!
Qing: (chuckling) Shut that idea department in your head, it will get us in trouble. You are overthinking again.
Me: (wincing in guilt) I feel like my head won't stop whizzing. Please, get Mama and Baba to love you again so you can come here and save me from promising your parents the moon and stars. At this rate, I will soon sacrifice our first born to your mother.
Qing: (laughing) Give them our second born too.
Me: Wang Qing! And then what?! Give our third born to my parents?! When will we have a child to raise as ours?! OMG! We will have a whole basketball team of children!
Qing died laughing. I hate him. Because he didn't literally die from laughing, he is just...
Anyways, I won't be sacrificing my children to appease the Goddesses Wang and Feng. That will be more desperate than mixing my maternal grandmother into this mess.
We need to find a new solution to make it up to our parents but my head is running out of ideas. Good thing I have another available head to think for us.
Qing: What other head? Your dick?
Me: (shocked) No! You! Your head!
Qing: (frowning) My head? My dick? You want my dick to think of a solution...Dayu ah, my dick only has three tracks in it's mind. Your hands, your mouth and your ass...after that, it's basically useless.
Me: (blood pressure rising) We are doomed.
Qing: (smiling so handsomely at me) That's okay, we have each other...said my dick to your ass...
Me: Fuck you! I hate you! Die there in Heilongjiang!
Qing died laughing again and I just...why am I with this man? Really?!
(Baba is funny)
He is NOT FUNNY! Stop encouraging him!
Oh my head. I should stop writing about this because my blood pressure is rising again.
See you all soon.