So, if you look back to the ten last chapters, in nine of them I would probably apologizing for the delay in the update, so I am sure you're already used to this =P
Haha, no seriously. Sorry again. I had my exams and since I am terrible at planning things, I completely failed at trying to type this on time. And also this is kind of the 'all talking' kind of chapter and they are exhaaaaausting to write and I was stuck at million places but at last it's here. Phew!
Aaaan don't get your hopes up, nothing major in the chapter buuuuuuuut there will be in the next one. And it will be a major chapter. You'll see. =D
So enough with me yapping, read on!
Enjoy ♥
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Few things are as annoying as waking up to a killer hangover in the morning. What's even more annoying is waking up with a hangover in a place that is definitely not your bed.
So you can imagine what kind of confused state my mind was when I opened my eyes and all I saw was something black. I pulled my face up which was smushed against what smelled like leather and had to do a recheck to make sure that I was actually awake and not still dreaming because there couldn't be an alternative explanation as to why I was in the back seat of a car, nestled in a warm blanket. I pulled my head up, straightening my sore back and looked out of the window, and all I could see were the never ending trail of tall trees, standing proudly in their fall beauty.
A tap on the windscreen made me whip my head towards it. My eyebrow rose immediately because on the other side of the screen was Daniel, grinning widely, perched comfortably on the hood of his own car, and waving his hand at me like a kid. I narrowed my eyes, so as to think better how exactly had I ended up in the back seat of Daniel's car.
Okay, so there was Mike's party, I drank a lot, the murderous headache a proof of it, then Daniel came and then we kissed, and then there was Anya and then...
Oh wait.
Hold on, I kissed Daniel!
Again!
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
My eyes were wide, and there was a sudden flush of color of my cheeks as it dawned on me. Actually dawned. Like, what now?
"I thought you were going to sleep all day." I turned back to the window, where Daniel now stood. From one look, it was easy to tell that he hadn't slept all night, or maybe it wasn't just one night of sleep that he had abandoned. Eyes a little puffy, hair a tad bit out of place, but the smile on his face anything was but tired.
"Hello?" He waved his hand in front of my unblinking eyes. "All that vodka destroyed your brain cells or something?"
"I'm...confused," I drawled, scratching my forehead.
"Well, nothing new then." He gave his shoulders a careless shrug. Even in my sleepy state, I managed to throw a dark look at him, but it wasn't like he was affected at all by it.
"What's going on?" I took another look of the outside but the brightness of the day made me cringe and I rubbed my forehead. "Where are we?"
Urgh, hangover sucks!
"Maine."
I snapped my head up, eyes wide, jaw unhinged.
What had he just said?
No, it couldn't be right. I've must have heard wrong.
"Where?" I asked, completely sure that it wasn't what I had heard, but when the same answer came back from Daniel, I was proved wrong.
"We are in Maine? Maine?" I kept repeating, with a bug eyed look. "Why the hell are we in Maine?! What the hell's going on?! I can't remember anything! How did we get here?!"
"Okay, first of all calm down," Daniel cooed, leaning towards me from the frame of the door.
"Calm down?!" I shouted. "We're two whole states away from home! I can't fraking calm down. I am freaking out! I need to get home! My dad's going to be all worried and I-"
"Don't worry about your dad, I handled that." He opened the door, letting the cold air inside of the car.
I had the skin of my forehead in worried lines. "What do you mean you handled it?"
"Means that I made Shay call your dad that you slept at her place last night and will go to school directly from there," Daniel explained.
"School," and then I realized that it was a Monday morning. "Oh, god I am missing school!"
"It's not like you pay much attention anyway. And beside, of all the things, you're worried about missing school?" he asked, looking at me like I was a loony.
"No, of course not," I shook my head lightly, "I just- wait- why did I stop freaking out? Oh my god! Oh my god! Daniel, why are we in Maine?"
"Well," Daniel started, plopping on the seat beside me. "To put it straight, you confuse me and I have all these questions that you never answer and you always run away, and it's getting really loopy so..."
"What? That doesn't even make sense," I said, puzzled. "How does it explain why you brought me here?"
"I brought you here so you can't run away again," he spoke with a 'duh' tone.
"So your brightest idea was to drive for, what like four hours, to a middle of nowhere?" I laid my head on the head-rest to slow its throbbing down. "Especially when you knew I would wake up with a hangover this bad."
"Hey, you said yourself that you can't go home."
"So you thought a forest in Maine would be the next best option?" I closed my eyes. There was absolutely no point in shouting seeing that it would just make my head even worse.
"Kind of," he simply said. "And about the hangover-" He leaned forward towards the shot gun seat and settled back with a bottle in his hands that he held up for me. "-here, drink this."
"What is it?" I asked, eyeing the bottle that had a deep green stuff in it.
"Just drink it."
"How do I know it's not a date rape kind of thing in it?"
"Don't you think I would have done that already if I wanted to?" He remarked sardonically, on the verge of rolling his eyes. "Just take the damn thing. It'll help your hangover."
"It doesn't look like it would taste good," I whined, scrunching up my nose, surmising the odd taste of the remedy drink already.
"It's a hangover cure. Of course it’s not going to taste like Starbucks," he explained, like scolding a five year old. "There are fries on the front seat for afterwards. Now drink."
"Fine," I said, grimacing and brought the slowly brought the bottle closer to take a sip. "Yuck! It tastes like something died in it!"
"I never said otherwise," Daniel replied. A look of horror sprint on my face. "Kidding!"
Since the need to get rid of the headache outweighed the disastrous bad taste of the drink, I took another sip, but that didn't mean it made gulping it down any easier.
"It tastes horrible," I complained. "I think I am going to puke."
"There's a bucket in the trunk if you need," he proudly pointed towards the back end of the car.
"What is this, a hangover cure machine?"
"No, I just know how to deal with a hangover. That’s all." He moved back on the seat, resting against the seat with eyes closed and his face so close to mine. I lied still, nervous not to give out how my pulse had suddenly quickened. After a few moments of blatantly staring at him, I averted my eyes to look straight.
"Obviously," I muttered in a sarcastic manner, taking another mouthful of the drink.
Yuck!
Daniel cracked open an eye. "For a person who almost emptied the booze cabinet last night, that's quite a lot of shade to throw."
"I didn't say anything," I said with an innocent smile and took a final swig of the green liquid. "Bleh, my mouth feels I've swallowed a whole tube of toothpaste."
I moved in my seat forward to get access to the front seat where the bag of fries was waiting for me. I opened the mouth of the paper bag, and the smell of oil wafted freely in the vehicle.
I took out a few of them and gobbled on them hungrily, happy with the change of taste.
"You know this is all cool and stuff, but I still didn't get it why did you bring me here?" I spoke, while still chewing. I so didn't have the patience for etiquettes right now. "Because I don't know if you have thought about it or not but the cops definitely consider this type of thing as kidnapping."
"You say that like it's supposed to affect me?" he simply said, taking two fries from the bag too.
"Why are you such a strange person, Cohen?"
"Coming from the girl holding the platinum membership card to the weird club?"
I gave a tight, sarcastic smile. "Hey, don't you act like you aren't a member yourself. Right there in the front row of every meeting, I see you."
"I only joined because you were there," he retorted back, absentmindedly, and then opened his side of the car door, once again allowing the chilly air to flow inside. I pulled the blanket closer to me. "Now, come on outside. It's getting suffocating in here."
"But it's just trees and stuff outside." I pouted, not very keen on trading the warmth of the car for the frigid cold weather outside. "There's nothing to see."
"That's because you haven't seen properly yet. And come on, it would be a shame to miss experiencing Maine at this time of the year," he pressed, already out of the car.
Huffing, I slid from the seat too, but not without taking the blanket with me. Yeah, it made me look stupid but I wasn’t going to sacrifice that kind of warmth for the sole purpose of not looking like a fool. "You make it sound like we're on a camping trip or something instead of that you brought me here without my consent."
"How many times are you going to mention that?" Daniel gave me a side eye, as I clambered down from the car, a few leaves scrunching under the point of my high heels. Opening the front door, he took his phone lying on the driver seat and then after locking the car, started walking in the direction left to where we were. I traipsed behind him. "Because, I don't think it's honestly bothering you that much, is it?"
I had to stop and think about that for a moment. He was kind of right.
I was acting way too normal for a person who was supposed to be bothered that they were brought two whole states away from home..
Upon further dwelling on why I wasn't freaking out enough, I blamed it all on him. He always made me go all relaxed and calm and not-slightly bothered about how I should be reacting, even in a situation like this where he had practically kidnapped me.
Yep, all your fault, Daniel.
"What are you mumbling?" I heard him ask. I looked up to find that he had stopped walking too and was giving me a puzzling look.
"Nothing. Must be something wrong with your ears," I remarked. He shook his head in disapprobation. "And by the way, where exactly are we going?"
"Just keep walking."
"You never answer any of my questions."
"You're rubbing off on me."
I pursed my lips in a tight line. "Whatever."
"That's the best comeback you could think of?" Daniel clicked his tongue, as if feeling sorry for me.
"Please don't give me any more motivation to plan your murder." I faltered in my steps as it was tough walking on loose mud with these shoes and with the weight of the wrapped blanket, misbalancing me.
"No, no, butterfly, you're the liar. I'm the murderer one, remember?"
His words hit hard and I couldn't take one single step forward. "Daniel, that's not funny. At all."
Any cheerfulness or teasing tone that my voice had earlier, was now gone and it didn't take him long to notice that. Stopping, he turned around. "Oh, loosen up. I was just kidding."
"I didn't find any humor in it," I spoke with a sternness solid in my words.
Exhaling, he dipped his low for a second, and bringing it up, he said, "Alright, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
I rolled my lower lip in my mouth, and nodded lightly. "Soooo, how far is this place, 'cause my shoes are kind of killing my feet right now," I said, and then started walking again.
"It's close." Daniel fished for something in the inside pocket of his blazer, and brought out my phone from it. "Here, it's been going off a few times. Mostly, it was that Nathan guy."
"Of course," I mumbled taking the phone, a little worried about what I was going to say to him, because for once I might be able to sell the fake story of being in school to my dad, but only it was so easy to fool Nate. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had already found a zillion plot-holes in the story.
"He seems concerned," Daniel said, trying to make it sound non-chalant but it was one of those 'I'm trying to sound unaffected when I'm certainly not.'
"I don't remember much from last night, but I definitely remember telling you who Nathan is, so no need for your brain to go in that zone. Because the chances of anything happening between him and I, are the same as between Liam and you."
"Thank you. Now, that's a disturbing thought that I would be loosing my sleep on," Daniel said, with narrowed eyes but fighting a tiny smile from coming up.
I dramatically rolled my eyes, and was thinking of something to say in return when I finally registered where actually we were headed to. As the trees started seeming more scattered from one another as we had walked, the view of what was on the other side of the woods peeked from the gaps between the trees.
A lake.
A vast stretch of water, as clear as crystal and as silent as the woods surrounding it.
The place where we stood was a higher ground than the water, around ten feet high. Near the edge of the drop lied black, sturdy rocks, darker than the clouds which floated over the place, only adding to the mighty looking perfection of New England picturesque landscape.
"Great, right?" Daniel asked, walking towards one of the rocks a little away from the fall, eyes looking up at the birds flying. Once there, he turned to me and I knew he was going to say something sarcastic. "Try not to jump this time, okay?"
"Haha, you crack me up," I said in a deadpan voice, rolling my eyes and walked over to sit on one of the rocks too.
"I know. I'm hilarious," he proudly sang in a girl-like voice. It was impossible not to chuckle at that. "Remind me why you jumped again?"
"To prove Mike wrong, duh!"
"I really think that you don't really get enough credit for how crazy you really are," he said, amusedly.
I rolled my eyes at him again.
Dear god, I did that a lot. Always rolling my eyes. Does constant rolling create any sort of permanent eye damage or anything? I'll have to look into that.
"Trust me, if there was a cuckoo award, you'll definitely be sharing that stage with me, Danny boy," I countered, rubbing my eyes that were stinging a little because of the razor sharp wind of the cliff.
He looked at me, one eyebrow raised and one corner of his mouth up. "So admit that you'd still be there?"
"Of course, I do," I answered, without missing a beat. "I'm crazy and I know it."
A silent laugh fell from his mouth with a shake of his head. "You're one of a kind, Bishop."
"I am not sure if it's meant to be, but I'll still take that as a compliment," I smiled, proudly. "Now, what's the story about this place?"
"Huh?"
"I said I'm crazy, not stupid," I said, as a matter of fact. "No one drives over this far just to talk. Obviously, you've been here before and I would like to know when."
Few seconds went by in silence, as I waited for him to answer. It wasn't a nervous silence from his side. It wasn't like those times when he was debating inside, whether to tell me something or not. It was that kind of silence when you don't know where to start your answer.
"I am not really certain myself why I brought you here. Why this place? Haven't been here in years, in fact," he answered in all honesty that shone from every word. "It's a nice place to spot northern lights in winters. I used to miss the Alaskan night sky when I came to Cassell, so at times, my dad would drive us both here on weekends and we would just wait for the lights to come out. Most of the time, it never did but it was still nice to just stare at the night sky."
I pulled my legs up on the rock, nestling under the blanket to make myself comfortable. "What changed?"
"Things," he breathed out. "It's been more than three years since the last time I was here. My dad got remarried, then my mom came back here and-" he abruptly put a cease to his words and I couldn't help but inquire about it.
"And?"
And this time, it was 'debating' silence.
"And nothing. Nevermind."
I looked straight at him as he looked away, dodging my gaze.
"Okay," I exhaled, deciding not to scrape the matter, but change the subject to lift this layer of silence. "So, what are the chances that lights will be out tonight?"
A lopsided smile crept its way onto his face. And of course I stared at him, because if simply looked super adorable when he smiled, not at all minding the fact that I swooned at his eyes, and smile, and in general at the guy way too much.
Definitely not healthy.
"You're planning for us to stay here all night?" He was back in his 'stupid' mode. "Quite a nice idea, I say. Got a few things on my mind that we could do. Wanna know?"
"Not very eager to scar my innocent brain, thanks."
"Sweet little butterfly, by what I have heard you mumbling in your sleep, you're anything but innocent."
A loud cawing noise, coming from overhead, ran in the air while I went completely still, afraid that I might have actually said something in my sleep, not what Daniel was referring to, but something that I didn't want to be heard by anyone nonetheless.
"I wasn't actually talking in my sleep, right?"
The tiny bit of nervousness that had escaped into my voice was clear enough because the only change in Daniel's reaction was that his amusement reached a level higher. "Oh my god, you totally did have a dirty dream about me, didn't you?"
"What? No!" I exclaimed, over the noise of the birds.
"Now, now, it's okay. No need to be embarrassed about it," he said, in a fake wisdom filled voice. "And by the way, no chances of the lights tonight. Here, it happens very rarely," he spoke, with disappointment.
"You still miss Alaska, huh?"
"Yeah," he answered, and then went pensive for sometime before speaking again, "Alright, the next time I am taking you to Alaska."
"There will be no next time!" I imposed in a pressing voice.
Daniel pouted. "Aw, I thought you were enjoying this."
"Still doesn't change the fact that I was practically kidnapped," I mumbled.
"Better than being at school." He picked up a pebble from the ground and projected at the water. It hit the surface, then skipped, once, twice, thrice, and then drowned.
"I am seriously confused how you manage to score an interview with the MIT people, considering all you do is ditch school." I pulled the blanket above tightly, that was starting to get loose and slip to the ground. "That reminds me how did that go?"
"I got in," he replied, without a single fragment of enthusiasm that should have been there.
"Can you be even try to be even more dull about it?" I sardonically asked. "Seriously, do you even like wanna go there?"
"No, it's not...leave it...."
Just like every other time. And to say I was the evasive one.
That was the thing between us. There was always the 'nevermind's, the 'leave it's, and the 'I don't feel like talking' to escape the matter. I wasn't saying it was just on his part, because I knew it myself; I was hiding more than he probably was, with all the lying and story-making that I did. So that got me wondering if, there was even a slightest possible chance, a really teeny tiny one, that somehow, in a world we could be together, then what about all these secrets.
Was I ready to let go off mine?
"Norah, your phone."
I blinked, coming out of my thoughts and looked at my phone humming in my hands.
Nathan's name flashed on the screen.
I took a deep breath before pressing accepting the call. "Hello."
Without any sort of preamble or anything, he started talking, "Norah, where the hell are you?"
"Umm." I licked my lips. "Um, in school. Sorry I couldn't take your calls earlier. I was in a class."
"Really? And any special reason that you thought of not coming home last night?" From how his words came out, he seemed panicked.
"Nate, I..."
"Noh, just tell me where you are," he said, despondently. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"
I rubbed my temple. This hangover was going to be the death of me.
I looked up at Daniel who had his eyes fixed on something in the lake, but was undoubtedly listening to every word.
"Nate, I can't explain it right now. I'll tell you everything when I get home," I told him, my voice more languid than ever. "I'll be there soon."
"But-"
"Just trust me on this one," I asked of him, steadying my voice. "Please."
I heard his sigh loom on the line. "Fine," he said, giving in. "But if you're not home soon, I'm letting your dad handle this. You have no idea how many stories I’ve been spinning since last night to hide this from him."
"Don't worry, I won't be late," I said and hit the end option.
"He's staying at your house?" Daniel asked, surprised and with a hint of sharpness.
"Yeah, yeah, he is. He came for the weekend," I answered calmly, looking him straight in the eye.
He simply nodded, not breaking the gaze, and it was easy to tell that there was something else he wanted to ask, but was holding back. But I could also tell that he wasn't resisting very hard, and I was proven right. "How come you never told me about him before?"
"And how come you never mentioned about Anya before?!"
Whoops, wrong answer.
I slid my eyes shut, and let out a deep sigh, already regretting snapping like that.
"I'm...sorry.." I breathed out with downcast eyes. "I...I shouldn't have..."
"Norah, Anya is just-"
"A friend, I know," I cut in. "But obviously there's more than that for her. After everything's that has happened between us, the last thing I would want is for her to hate me any more. So I just- I just wish you'd have told me about her. How hard was to mention her just once that you knew her?"
My throat was already feeling dry and that was not a good sign, because it meant that I was either going to start crying or yelling. Neither sounded any better than the other.
"I know," he said, going way softer in speaking than earlier. "It's...well...the thing is, telling about her would have meant explaining tons of other things to you."
"And of course you must have a great reason why you couldn't tell about those things. Again." I spoke sardonically. "You expect me to answer your questions, to-to tell you the truth, but it's like it will physically hurt you to answer any of mine!"
"What makes you think I'm not trying?!" I flinched a little at his sudden rise in voice. "Every fucking single time you're around, all that goes in my mind is that I need to tell her. I need to before she decides something extremely stupid for both of us again!" I stared at him, not even blinking once. His attention went to my face, and the riled up look on his face slowly drained away. Standing up, Daniel stepped closer and kneeled in front of me. "I know that I don't really have a great track record in coming clean, but if you could believe one thing that I've ever said to you, then please believe this, that I'm trying. There are a million possible things that I wanna tell you, that I've waited for a long time to but...but I am not good with these things. This, telling what’s on my mind is a not me. I would rather just keep everything to myself, but for you I am trying. I really am. All I am asking you is please be patient, okay?"
With my voice stuck in my throat, I simply nodded. What else could have I done anyway? What else could have anyone done after everything he had just said?
I felt weird inside. It was a mixed feeling, and I couldn't decide if it was deflecting more towards being a warm, nice one or of sheer, stark fear.
"What...did you wanna ask?" After, what I felt a million seconds, I asked.
We were staring into each other's eyes and it didn't feel like a swirl of the electric energy inside like any other time. No, unlike that I felt like something was soothing me, as if something that could put your racing mind to ease. What exactly was it?
"What did you lie about your sister?" he asked.
"What?" The surprise of his accusation couldn't be concealed. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, I don't know why she never told me about Emma earlier but recently Anya mentioned her, and I clearly remember her saying something that it was an accident and you told me-"
I didn't wait for him to complete his sentence. "Did it occur to you that maybe what she was told was the lie instead?"
Confusion floated all over his face. "Why would you do that?"
"I didn't," I admitted, and then looked away at some random tree. "My dad told her that."
"What would your dad lie?"
"Not exactly, that's what dad thinks too," I told him, but there was this nagging in my mind telling me stop. I wasn't supposed to tell this to anyone.
I brought my eyes back to him. The shade was confusion was deeper. From what I could tell, he was probably struggling about how to formulate the proper question, not that I blamed him.
"I never lied to you." I made sure that the sincerity of my confession was clear in my voice and eyes. "In fact you're the only who knows besides me."
His face seemed a little pallid than earlier, the turmoil now more concentrated than ever. "I don't get what you're saying. So you knew? Why?"
"It's better if you don't know," I said, with an air of finalizing. "Now, take me home."
I got up on my feet but before I could make one more movement, Daniel held me by wrist and pulled me sit down again. "No!" He boomed. "None of this anymore. It's not better if I don't know, so you're going to tell me everything."
I frowned, yanking my wrist back from his hold. "You can't force me to."
"If that's what it will take." He made sure not to leave any room for argument with the way he spoke. It was resolute, unyielding and frankly intimidating.
"I never MADE you to tell me anything!" I spoke through gritted teeth. "So you've no right to do that either."
I watched as his clenched jaw loosened an indication of his lowering anger level. "I am aware of that. But I also know that this is the exact thing that's been harming you inside, and I know how it feels to allow something to torture you over time. And I hated it. And I can't just sit back and see you go through the same, knowing that maybe I could do something to help."
I felt exhausted, as if the life draining from my veins. "You don't understand. I can't tell you."
Even though I said that, there was another voice in my head that was ordering to tell him everything, and that voice was growing rapidly, almost big enough to over power the other conflicting voice.
He took my hand in between both of his and the comforting feeling was back. It was hard to express how nice it felt. It was like the feeling of coming home. Yes, that's how it felt to be around him, like being in a warm, happy home, where you go to sleep every night knowing that the next day is going to better, no matter what. He made a hope flow in me that I thought I had given up on; the hope of being truly happy.
"Do you trust me?" he asked, his eyes pleading me to say yes.
'Say no. That would be easier,' an old familiar part of my brain told me. 'Saying yes would mean saying yes to telling him everything. Every single thing. Just say no.'
Say no.
Say no.
Say no.
"Yes."
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Yes, the major reveal in the next one!
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