Tom didn't complain when Alexa pulled him towards her. He didn't complain when her tears soaked his white shirt. In fact, he held her close. If a year back someone had even suggested that he would allow someone to crumple his well-ironed shirt, he would have doubted that person's sanity. Yet, there he was. Letting her use his shirt as her handkerchief. He let her hold him. He let her blabber things.
After all, she had just found about the lives they lost during their unwanted adventure.
"W-Why is... is it me al-always, T-Tom? W-Why people... they... die s-s-saving me?" She hiccuped questioning him. "I-I don't d... d... deserve it."
Alexa felt worst. Adrian blurting out that two of the people who had come to rescue her and Tom had lost their lives had shaken her. She was wrecked from within. She didn't know the other person - Mr Browen, but that didn't mean it didn't matter. She knew that she had wronged him and his family would never forgive her.
She deserved to die.
She didn't even want to think about Averys. They had offered her shelter. They offered her food. Hell! They gave warmth of home after a long time. And she paid them back. How? By pushing them to feel an eternal loss. She destroyed a perfect family where everyone loved everyone else. She didn't have the courage to face them. She was their culprit.
Helga! She deserved to die.
She was Satan. She had contributed nothing in her life. All she had been doing, since the day she born, was destroying the lives of others. Her father. Her mother. Her aunt. Antonio Avery. Mr. Browen. She was so close to losing Tom's life. All of them risked their lives to save hers. And she wasn't even worth it. Why was it always that the cost of her sins was paid by others?
Merlin! Why didn't she die?
For her, living with this type of sins was far worse than death. She should die in the worst way possible. She was fade up with living off by sacrificing innocents.
Her brain was rattled with guilt. She felt liable for all deaths. She couldn't shake off her responsibility for this destruction.
Tom was never good at consoling someone. To be honest, it was quite rare for him to feel sympathy towards people. He had seen many of his acquaintances had no spine to stand straight even in the slightest of the storms. They cried for a bad score, but they didn't study. They cried for lost opportunities, but they were not ready to stop passing their time. They cried for failed relationships, but they never learned. Human emotions and their need for ephemeral attention were pathetic.
Tom never sympathize with them, because he worked hard for his scores. He knew that anything that was gained without a sacrifice wasn't worth achieving. He was smart enough to learn even from the mistakes done by others. Perhaps, these were the things that made him intrinsically different from others. Perhaps, this was the reason why he had hard times in reassuring Anthony in the past. When it came to the havoc of emotions, the young boy relied on his actions, rather than hollow words.
Perhaps, this was why when Alexa blabbered her guilt, instead of saying petty words, he held her close and patted on her back. His actions conveyed that he felt bad for her. He continued running his hand on her back to soothe both of them just a little.
"I-I w... wish it w... was me n-not the-them," Alexa sobbed and Tom tightened his hand around her waist. Unlike her, he didn't wish it was her. And he didn't want her to continue wishing that.
He pulled back a little forcing her to look back at him. He felt uneasy when he saw that her violet eyes looked dull and lifeless. He didn't wish for that. Holding her in her place with his right hand, he tipped her chin in his direction with his left. His eyes locked on hers as he didn't allow her to look away.
"It was not your fault, Alexa. Aurors know the menace when they take their oaths. They put themselves in peril because they know every innocent is worth saving. They would have come even if it was someone else."
Alexa pushed herself in his chest as her tear-stained cheek rested on his now-crumpled shirt. Tom was never good with words, but that day was an exception since he shared her guilt. Though verbally he acclaimed that Antonio would have taken a risk for anyone and so they didn't need to feel sinful, in the depths of his heart, he blamed himself too. He shared her guilt because he too had lost a man who he had looked up to for more than half a decade now. The fact that the said man took his last breath in his lap didn't particularly lessen his guilt. Even after talking with Dumbledore, a part of him wondered if Antonio voluntarily entered the forest because it was Tom who was dragged in the forest. He wondered if he would have done the same, had it been someone else. And that didn't settle his nerves in particular.
None of them knew how much time had passed as Tom continued to hold Alexa. It was quite unusual for them to enjoy each other's company wordlessly. The boy managed to break that silence when he sighed internally on contemplating the risk of his impending announcement.
"What is it, Tom?" She asked in his chest. Through his body language, she could feel there was something he wanted to share. Through his unusually tight hold and gentle nature, she could almost feel that her boy was hesitant to verbalize his thoughts.
Tom spoke after a long array of silence, "unlike you Alexa, I am no innocent."
Alexa pulled back as she looked at him questioningly. Her eyes urged him to continue.
Tom took out his wand and waved silencing spell on the room again. Alexa controlled her amazement when she saw a transparent-curtain-like structure with his next spell that enveloped the bed they sat on. She wondered what it would feel if she extended her hand and touched it. However, her attention reverted to the boy who stared at her seriously. Small, almost insignificant twitch in his left brow told her that he was nervous. Of what? She had no clue. She placed her hand on his forearm and squeezed it lightly. She tried to reassure him through a slight smile.
Gulping, and looking away from her, Tom finally admitted, "I have killed three people the last summer."
Alexa's eyes widened as she looked at him incredulously. It took her some time to actually process what she had heard. After what felt like an hour, she laughed to break down a heavy silence.
"Sure, Tom."
His uncalled announcement had unsettled her.
When he didn't join her awkward laughter, her eyes searched his. When she didn't find any trace of falsity, she tried to push herself away from him. He let her. He didn't want to hold her without her consent.
"You can not be serious, Tom. You can not just tell me that you... that you..." she choked on her words as her breathing hitched. "Please tell me you are just saying this because you have lost your sense of humour."
She looked at him. Her violet orbs pleaded him, and Tom couldn't hold her anymore. He pulled himself away as if her touch burned him. As if, he couldn't afford to look at her. As if, he knew her reaction would break him.
"I haven't." Tom shook his head as if he was disappointed in himself. "I killed my father and grandparents. I also framed my uncle for my crimes."
Alexa felt her heart thud loudly. It wasn't ready to believe what she had heard. She knew that Tom wasn't a saint. Hell! Even she wasn't a saint to judge another, but she didn't know that he would claim his sins were this unforgivable. Stay away from bad people. Stay away from bad magic. Her mother used to say this to her. She had always used the teachings of her parents for a living. She didn't know any other way of living before this boy came into her picture. Was she ready to abandon all those years of the faith to listen to him? Alexa didn't know what to make of him. Was she really ready to listen to a murderer? Was she ready to sit beside him and pretend he hadn't just confessed what he had? No matter how impossible she had thought it was, she had already imagined her future with this boy. She had claimed him as hers a long time back. And now he was telling her that he was a criminal. That all this time, she had fallen for a murderer? What an oddity! A grand-daughter of criminal falls for another criminal.
Her mind wanted to retort, but her heart wanted to make a sense of this all. It didn't want to end everything without giving a boy a chance. She didn't want to let him go without even knowing why she was losing him.
"Why?" She asked. Her life depended on his answer. Her parents taught her everything, including the intense love she felt for this Slytherin.
That was when Tom told her.
He told how his mother was tortured by her father and brother to the point where she failed in performing even simple spells. He told how then she got infatuated with a muggle whom she later controlled with Amortentia. He told how she got pregnant after they got married while the man was still under the influence of love potion.
Tom clenched his fists. His nose flared in anger, as he acknowledged the fact that the said man then left her and his child, once she stupidly believed that the man would choose her even if she stopped relying on the potion. For the first time, he acknowledged how he grew up without a family in an orphanage because his father left his mother penniless and she decided to not fight for her life after bringing him to the world. He acknowledged how he spent years, hoping his biological dad would come one day for him and love him the way he deserved. He acknowledged, how for years he hoped that one day he would get the warmth of a family, and how everyone put him down.
Tom looked in her eyes, as he professed, "I punished him. I punished them all for punishing me. I wasn't theirs to punish. I let my rage consume my decisions."
Once he was done he looked at her expectantly. He waited to see her reaction. He saw how her eyes had hardened on him.
"You know you have no right to take away someone else's life, Tom." The murder was a very sensitive topic for Alexa.
"I do now," Tom spoke. He felt exposed under her scrutiny. He could sense her disappointment in him and that was one of the worst feelings that he had felt in his life. Ever. "That's the reason why I admitted my sins to Dumbledore."
"WHAT?" At that, Alexa looked stunned. She got afraid of the things are ringing in her ears. She was afraid of what she had heard.
Tom looked back at her. "Just before Antonio died in my arms, he told me that he was proud of me. I may never knew my father, but Mr Avery had always been a father-like figure for me. I want to continue to make him proud. And for that, I need a clean start."
Alexa looked at him gobsmacked. This boy had the ability to render her speechless. Always. Yeah, she was disappointed in him.
Yeah, she was going to judge him for doing crime as heinous as murder, but was she ready for losing him? No.
Was the decision in her hand anymore? No.
The boy had already confessed everything to one of the most righteous men in the world. Was she ready to lose him without even having a chance have him? Absolutely not.
How could he snatch everything from her? How could he not even give her a chance to keep him?
Feeling enraged, Alexa raised her hand and slapped him on his right cheek. Her frustration, her disappointment, her destroyed hopes empowered it so badly that Tom's face was turned to the other direction with a force. He placed his right hand as anger bubbled up inside him. He turned his face back in her direction and opened his mouth to scold her, but he was silenced when she pulled him to herself by clutching the collar of his shirt and connected their lips together.
Didn't he realize that she loved him? Didn't he realize that she should have some say in what he wanted to do? Didn't he realize that she was a part of his life too and his decisions would affect her?
As she thought this, Alexa clutched him tightly. She poured her anger in the kiss as she bit his lip quite violently. Her actions stunned Tom. Her dominance sucked in his anger. Through her assault on his lips, he could feel her desperation. He understood that she was afraid to lose him. He realized that she didn't want to live without him. This discovery filled his body with warmth. He felt lightness as he came to know that somebody was there whose world revolved around him. This lightness brought Tom out of his trance as he encircled her small waist in his hands. He pulled her towards him and made her sit on his lap as he started kissing her back. A moan vibrated in her throat on his acceptance and reciprocal of her kiss.
There was nothing sweet, nothing gentle about that kiss. It was all about lips, tongue and teeth as they attacked each other. Havoc of their emotions didn't allow them to act otherwise. It was like a fire was burning another fire as they both fought for dominance. They both fought for possession. Both of them fought for claiming one another. And as the other person didn't submit silently, their anger raised with every passing second.
Getting infuriated, Tom pushed his rough palm inside Alexa's shirt. His fingers pinched her side arrogantly. At this, she pulled back just a little as an audible moan parted her lips. He took this opportunity and forced his tongue inside her mouth. His other hand placed itself behind her neck to hold her in her place. His tongue fought with hers to gain access to her mouth. Their tongues danced for dominance.
Alexa traced her hands from his collar to his chest. She caught him off-guard when she ripped his shirt open and placed her palms directly on his chest. Her hands explored his body greedily. It was their territory. A heavy groan vibrated in Tom's throat as he felt burning sensations wherever her soft palms touched his tougher skin. Alexa looked at him in arrogance as she felt his every shiver. She felt powerful when she felt him trembling wherever she touched and she did touch wherever her hands could go through the limited space they have between their bodies.
Tom hissed when he realized how easily he was surrendering to his vixen. She truly had grown from an innocent little girl to a tempting siren. And he wasn't ready to lose this battle. His hand that was till now rested on her waist traced her skin to the front of her breasts, leaving everything in between ablaze with desire. Her moan resonated when he daringly cupped her breast. Though fully covered, they both could feel the heat of their touch. Alexa arched her back at this new sensation. Her earlier desire to fight him for dominance resolved in her mind as she desperately clutched his shoulder for support when Tom pinched her nipple through the smooth material of her bra. Like her, he was not experienced either. He was simply following his intuitions.
Tom left her lips as he attacked her neck. His anger had long gone as he heard her moaning and writhing in his hold. The cries of her anticipated pleasure were oddly satisfactory, and at that moment he didn't want to be anywhere else. Bite. Suck. Kiss. Lick. Repeat. He followed this pattern on her poor neck as her palms now clutched his head to her neck by losing themselves in his dark curls. Her nails were scratching his scalp to encourage him.
This intimacy felt different from their others. Was it because of the sudden uncertainty that hovered over their heads? Was it because Alexa was afraid of living without him? Was it because she poured all her love for him in it? That must be it. She might have been following her parents' teachings all her life and that might not even change, but she couldn't deny she needed Tom in her life any longer. She loved him with all her heart and she intended to keep him there. She didn't know what future held for them, but one thing was sure. She was going to stand beside him through thick and thin. She was going to wait for him if needed.
He was her family, and she was done abandoning her family.
~*~*~
So what will happen now? Will Tom be sent to Azkaban? After all, the use of unforgivable curses earns a life-sentence in the prison according to HP universe. Please let me know what do you think will happen next. I totally love reading your theories.
For those of you who are wondering, it was the kiss of Love. I hope you liked this update. So, yeah, we have come to an end of the journey of Tom and Alexa. The next chapter will be an epilogue. I don't know if it's up to your expectations.
I just wanted to ask if you have some questions for me or either of my characters. I intend to cover all the characters and what happened to them in the next update, but I want to do some QnA kind of thing once this story is finished, so if you have any query feel free to raise it. I love addressing your doubts.
I still can't believe we have reached this point where I will be waiting for just a last stroke. Please look forward to it as I wish to finish it asap.
If you liked this chapter, don't forget to vote, comment and share the story. It would mean a lot to me.
Thank you all!!!