- - -
over the past twenty years, one of the most valuable tools a doctor has is the algorithm.
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"you guys have your vaginoplasty with jackson today, right?" lia asks richard and catherine as they're walking through the hospital. "that's so cool."
"you wanna scrub in?" richard offers. "that's if your not too busy already."
"really?" lia's eyes widen. "i'd love to!"
"here, look at this," catherine stops them walking and tilts the tablet in her hand to show her an animated clip of the procedure.
once lia's watched it, the supply closet door a few feet begins to slowly open, and when the three of them look up they see jackson and maggie, kissing, as they walk out.
"hey!" maggie greets with wide eyes when they pull apart and notice the three of them stood looking at them.
"hey. hey. hello," jackson nervously chuckles, looking down at his feet, and richard clears his throat whilst he, catherine, and lia force awkward smiles.
"we should..." maggie begins as she steps out of the supply closet. "um, good luck with your vagina."
"don't..." jackson shakes his head as maggie walks away. "i'm just gonna- excuse me."
jackson then closes the door again, with himself still inside. lia, catherine, and richard then all look at each other with bewilderment.
"yeah, i'm not scrubbing in," lia shakes her head.
- - -
your patient's main complaint goes into a box and then the formula helps you to decide what to do next.
- - -
"big day, mother," jackson says as he follows her and richard to their patient's room, and she turns to look at him. "you ready? anything, uh, bothering you?"
"i haven't said a word," catherine shrugs.
"you didn't have to," jackson frowns. "your face did."
"my face isn't saying anything," catherine insists, before turning to her husband. "richard, is my face saying something?"
"it's like reading hemmingway, dear," richard smiles and jackson shoots him a look before they proceed into michelle's patient room.
"good morning," michelle greets, pulling catherine in for a hug. "good morning, doctors."
"ah, good morning," richard nods.
"morning. you opening a flower shop?" jackson gestured to the dozens of vases of flowers littering here room.
"yeah. they're from my boyfriend. he thinks he's hilarious. sent me a book of georgia o'keefe prints, too," michelle chuckles. "i never dreamed this day would come. and i certainly never dreamed that a mother and son would build my vagina."
"and father," catherine adds.
"stepfather, about a- about a month," jackson corrects, before looking to richard. "so- no offence."
"uh, none taken," richard assures.
"well, family is family is family. like the saying goes," catherine smiles.
"that's not a saying, but okay," jackson's brows knit together.
"not to you, it's not," catherine murmurs to jackson.
"no one's ever said it," jackson whispers and richard clears his throat.
"is everything okay!" michelle looks between jackson and catherine.
"yes," catherine says, unconvincingly, at the same time jackson hums, "mm-hmm. oh, yeah."
"because part of me feels like a little kid on christmas morning," michelle explains. "but the other part is a world-class physician who knows you're dealing with the most sensitive organ in the body. i can't afford any distractions."
"michelle, i hear you. let me assure you that my mind is not anywhere but right here, in this surgery," jackson attempts to reassure her. "shall we do this?"
"yes. let's do this," michelle breathes deeply and bumps fists with catherine.
"yeah. oh, alright, bring it in," jackson places his hand on top of theirs. "nice."
■ ■ ■
"maggie and jackson? maggie and jackson? are they kidding me? maggie and jackson?" lia raps her hand on the cafeteria table she's sat at with meredith, and her voice raises an octave with each word. "i mean, how long? were they ever gonna tell me?"
"maggie didn't tell me either," meredith shrugs.
"jackson is not your ex/baby daddy now, is he?" lia raises her brow.
"no," meredith shakes her head. "he's not."
"ugh," lia groans. "our parents just got married. this is so messed up, mer. this is beyond messed up. i mean, say they get married. this isn't just a case of 'do i call my stepmom 'mom'?' this is, 'do i still call my stepmom 'aunty maggie' or do i call her 'mom'?' do either of them think?"
"you've just got to talk to them," meredith tells her.
"oh, no way," lia shakes her head. "i'm not speaking to either of them."
"c'mon, lia. you have to talk to jackson about darci stuff," meredith reminds her.
"no i don't. mark can talk to him," lia scoffs. "he's not screwing his sister."
■ ■ ■
"then dr. webber will use a laparoscope to extract a piece of the peritoneum," jackson runs through the procedure ad they scrub in whilst michelle is being prepped.
"minimally invasive, minimal scarring," richard adds.
"thanks for letting me know. thanks for not hiding it from me..." catherine nods.
"mom, come on," jackson rolls his eyes.
"...like you've been hiding maggie pierce," catherine continues.
"yeah, i get it," jackson sighs.
"uh, let's talk about this later," richard suggests. "over pie."
"you know what?" jackson turns to his mother. "yes, i am seeing maggie pierce. and, no, it's none of your business."
"none of my business?" catherine raises her brow.
"my love life isn't any of your concern, no," jackson confirms as michelle sits up to find them arguing through the window, but neither of them notice. "it never was and never will be."
"what about alivia?" catherine asks.
"guys-" richard interjects when he notices michelle, but again, neither of them pay any mind.
"you guys work together all the time. you have a child together," catherine argues. "of all the places on earth for you to dip your wick, you chose-"
"out of line, alright?" jackson cuts her off. "come on."
"oh, child, please," catherine scoffs.
"guys!" richard interjects more forcefully.
"what?" catherine and jackson turn to him in unison, and he points inside the o.r to where michelle is out of bed, and about to walk out.
"oh, now look what you did," catherine scolds her son.
"what i did?" jackson furrows his brow.
"yeah. you just did," catherine reiterates.
■ ■ ■
"michelle, stop," catherine calls as she, jackson, and richard follow her through the hospital.
"michelle, it's not what it looks like, alright?" jackson tells her.
"it isn't?" michelle stops walking and spins around to face them. "'cause it looks like my doctors don't have their heads in the game."
"my mother's upset about a personal matter," jackson reveals. "it's nothing, really."
"it's not nothing," catherine retorts.
"mom, come on," jackson urges.
"no. whatever happens in there, i'm gonna leave here, for better or worse, with my life and body permanently altered. and i would rather it not be for the worse. so, whatever this 'nothing' is... figure it out. because you're not cutting into me until i have your full attention," michelle warns before turning and walking away from them.
- - -
but what happens when the problem doesn't fit into a box? well, you're suddenly on your own. i
unexpectedly, with about a thousand paths to choose from.
- - -
"hey, can you call avery and ask him to bring darci's duck?" mark asks lia. "she must've left it there, and you know she can't sleep without it."
"i thought we had spare," lia furrows her brow.
"that was the spare," mark tells her. "so can you call him?"
"you'll have to call him," lia shakes her head.
"come on, lia," mark urges. "you can't never speak to him again for getting a new girlfriend. even if it is pierce."
"mark, i'm not butt-hurt because my ex is dating my sister. as weird as it may be," lia scoffs. "it's more than that. there's a child involved, and neither of them have given her a second thought. it's like they don't care how their relationship is gonna affect her life."
"and her parents not speaking isn't going to affect her life?" mark raises his brow.
"you're right," lia sighs deeply, and rolls her eyes. "i hate it when you're right."
- - -
so what do you do? how do you decide when you're left in the dark? how do you make sure you're not making the worst mistake of someone's life?
- - -
lia is sat on the porch swing, picking at her fingers as her hands rest in her lap, when jackson hesitantly walks up the steps, clutching darci's duck.
"hey," he smiles softly.
"hey," lia looks up at him as he takes a seat beside her.
"i know you're mad at me," jackson tells her.
"i'm not..." lia sighs. "i'm not mad at you, jackson."
"you're not?" jackson's brow furrows, and lia shakes her head.
"i'm upset," she admits before pausing, briefly. "look, you are one of the most important people in my life. you gave me my daughter. and i love you so so much for that. and i love that we have learned how to co-parent so well. but, you dating my sister will change a lot of things. and i'm not worried about me. i'm worried about darci. it's confusing enough that our mom and dad are married. how confused do you think she'll be when she finds out her daddy's new girlfriend is her aunty maggie? and what if you guys have a baby?"
"whoa. who said anything about babies?" jackson's eyes widen slightly. "we've not even slept together yet. we're not in a place where we're thinking about getting married or having kids."
"and you and i were?" lia raises her brow. "babies aren't always planned, jackson. and if you and maggie had a baby, would they be darci's cousin or sibling? see? there's nothing simple about this for her. and i just wish you'd thought about her before you made this decision."
"you think that i didn't think about darci?" jackson asks, and lia shakes her head. "of course i thought about her. and i thought about you. i've liked maggie for a while now, but i didn't do anything because of you and because of darci. i know that it's confusing and weird, but i really like her, lia. and i haven't felt this way about anyone since... well, you. and i wish like hell that she wasn't your sister. and that she wasn't my stepfather's long lost daughter. but she is."
lia doesn't say anything, and the two of them sit in silence for several moments.
"look, if it makes you uncomfortable... i'll break it off with maggie," he tells her. "but i want you to know that if i don't break it off with maggie, that i won't be introducing her as my new girlfriend to darci any time soon. so what's it gonna be?"
"i want you to be happy. and i want maggie to be happy. i just don't want my daughter getting hurt if it's all gonna end up being for nothing," lia sighs.
"she won't be," jackson assures. "you just have to trust me."
"okay," lia reaches her hand over to squeeze his. "but if you hurt my sister either, i will kill you."
"deal," jackson chuckles.
- - -
you close your eyes. you block out everyone and everything around you and you pray that the voice inside you is right. because once you've decided, you can't ever go back.
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