That afternoon...
Qing: You don't regret being engaged to me, right?
Me: (nodding) That's the only part I don't regret in all of these.
Qing: (smiling through the video call) Good.
Me: (sighing) How is Mama? Still angry?
Qing: I think so. She stopped crying though. Still not talking to me but I think she likes me now more than she likes you. I think she doesn't want to hear your name being said aloud in her presence.
Me: (wincing) Yikes.
Qing: (sighing) How is Mama? Still urging you to break up with me?
Me: (nodding) She said I start being a liar when I started this relationship with you. I said she's wrong. I lied to her many times when I was still young and living with her. She got more angry. I think I have a remarkable talent of pissing my mother more each time we talk.
Qing: They will forgive us soon. Just hang in there.
Gosh, who is optimistic and Mr.Pollyanna now?
Me: Hmmm...how is Baba?
Qing: Not talking to me. I think if Mama mostly blame you...Baba is blaming it all on me.
Me: Yikes.
Qing: Yeah...well, you know him and his old fashioned ways. He thinks I mishandled you and now you run around being neurotic because I didn't take good care of you.
Me: Being neurotic is all me.
Qing: You are not neurotic. It got away from our controls, Dayu...this is both our faults. Stop being a martyr or pitying yourself, it won't do us any good.
Me: (staring at Qing) You are worried. Why? Because we are apart?
Qing: (nodding) I hate being apart from you.
Me: (sniffing) Me too.
Qing: Are you crying?
Me: No. It's still cold here and you are no around to serve as my body warmer.
Qing: Wear layers. Don't get sick.
Me: I won't. And even though they hate me, my parents won't let me get sick. (sighing) Qing, should we employ our secret weapon?
Qing: Not yet. And even if we do, I want to be there so we can talk to your grandmother together.
My maternal grandmother is our secret weapon. If we can get my GrandMa on our side, we might survive this. But going that route has consequences as well. Qing and I might find ourselves married within a week if we will pull GrandMa into this drama.
Talking about someone who is old fashioned and doesn't believe in long engagement, my GrandMa will ask our parents to forgive us by pushing the wedding day early on as a compromise.
On one hand, it's not part of our plan to be married so soon. On the other, having GrandMa at our side will be a guaranteed way to get our parents to forgive us.
Ah dilemma.
Qing: We are not THAT desperate yet. Lets wait some more before approaching our secret weapon.
Me: Okay.
Qing: What about Baba? He is talking to you, right?
Me: Uhuh. My father is more lenient but you know him, he will always choose my Mama's side. They always present this united front. The only way my Baba will not be on Mama's side is if Mama decide to disown me. Baba won't disown me. I am quite sure of that now.
My father won't disown me. Ever. Not that my Mama would but who could blame her if she will disown her lying son. She was right, she never encouraged me to lie my way out of any problem. She taught me to be honest and sincere to myself and to others. I wasted her teachings by lying to her over and over.
Me: All those times that I got hurt and never confessed or shared them to her. I deprived her of chances to console or comfort me. You heard her...she thinks her main purpose in life is to be my mother. That comforting me when I am hurt was when she felt like she is earning her title as my mother. And I took that from her, many times...
Qing: Dayu ah...
Me: (sniffing) Why am I such a failure as her son? Ugh! Why are we such failures as sons of our parents?
Qing: We are not perfect, that's why? And it will be their fault if they think their sons are perfect.
Me: (snorting) Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I don't think our parents think we are perfect now. My mother is so close to selling me to gypsies for a cheap price.
Qing: (chuckling) Tell her to contact me first, I will buy you in a heartbeat.
Me: (sighing) At this rate, we won't be married in ten years, let alone five. All our plans are doomed, Qing.
Qing: (snickering) If you think this will stop me from marrying you, then we wasted all these years we have been together since you learned nothing about me. Nothing and no one can stop me from changing your status from single to my spouse, Dayu ah.
Me: I know that. But I don't think we can get married alone or without our parents.
Qing: Mama said she will attend our wedding. We just have to inform her of the time and place.
Me: Aiyooo...she was unhappy when she said that. (sighing) Qing, lets stop deluding ourselves...your Mama doesn't like me anymore for you. My Mama is the same, she now doesn't like you for me. We have fallen out of their favors and it's mostly our faults. I think I took for granted how much your mother liked me...
Qing: (snorting) You stop deluding yourself, my mother loves you. She loves you so much and...
Qing suddenly stopped talking. Then he groaned.
Qing: Oh we are so stupid. We are so stupid.
Me: What? Why? What?!
Qing: We are doing this the wrong way. I should be there and you should be here.
Me: (confuse) What do you mean?
Qing: I should be there asking your parents to forgive us. You should be here asking my parents to forgive us. Come on! It's obvious, Mama loves you so much she couldn't possibly resist you...
Me: Qing she hates me!
Qing: She doesn't hate you. My mother doesn't do hate. Same for your mother. Our parents doesn't do hate. They are hurt, Dayu. They are deeply disappointed. And the only way we can fix this is if we can convince them to forgive us. But not this way. They will keep digging their feet because when they see us, they see blood and betrayal. But if we will switch places...
Me: (like in trance) There might be a chance that they will soften a little. You know, my Mama said it the other day that she will gladly have you here instead of me.
Qing: (nodding) See? We just have to switch places. (sighing) Not gonna sugatcoat it though Love, it's still won't be easy even if we do this.
Me: I know.
Qing: (staring at me intently through the screen of my device) Mama might say or do something that would meant to hurt you...
Me: And I won't take it to heart. I know. We all do or say mean things when we are mad. You do it. I do it. Why would I think Mama won't?
Qing: Still, you are not use to her being angry at you. She treated you so preciously...
Me: And I took that for granted. I was so wrapped up in my own beliefs and emotions I didn't even entertain the idea that they usually respect our decisions on things. I made unnecessary ruckus again...
Qing: (sighing) They are your feelings. Of course they matter. But we hurt them by lying so we have to show we are repenting.
Me: (nodding) We will sure do.
Qing: When can you leave there?
Me: I can leave tomorrow.
Qing: Okay, I'll talk to the owner of the private plane...
Me: Oh no! No more private plane...please Qing.
Qing: Then what will you do? You cannot travel in a crowded plane when there is still the risk of the virus.
Me: Maybe I will just take a private ride. That will be less expensive...
Qing: That will take you more than 13 hours to get here. You will get tired. You won't be able to present your best side to my parents if you are tired. Take the damn private plane.
Me: No!
Qing: (scowling) Dayu ah...
Me: Qing. Please...it's too expensive.
Qing: We can afford it. What we cannot afford is for you to catch any sickness. Love please...
I puffed my cheeks. Qing took that as a victory for his cause.
Qing: I will take the private plane to get there in the morning and you can fly in it back here in Beijing in the afternoon. We will hire it for one day, deal? Just one payment...
Me: You must think I am stupid. Those private planes charge by flights, not by days. That will be two payments.
Qing: (grinning) You are so smart. And like I said, we can afford it. I will see you tomorrow.
Me: What will you tell your parents? And what about the promotion of your new show?
Qing: We are done with the press conference. The trailers will start hitting the TV airwaves soon. I really don't give a fuck about it right now. This is more important.
Me: And the reason you will give to your parents on why you will leave Beijing?
Qing: (shrugging) The truth. That you and I are failing in this so we will try a different strategy.
Me: Okay. Just...lets not lie anymore.
Qing: We won't.
Me: And be polite while you are saying you are explaining why we will switch places.
Qing: I am always polite to my parents.
Me: Right. Sure. Okay.
Qing: (frowning) Oh, you are not believing me.
Me: No. No. I believe you.
I don't believe him.
Qing: You are lying. I can see right through you.
Me: (sighing) I wish humans have that so other humans can see if one is lying. Like, if you lie...you will suddenly look like yellow. When you are jealous, you'll be green colored. When you are angry, red. Pink for in love. Blue for sad. Black if you are mourning. Violet if you are sorry. I wish emotions are show in visible colors in humans so other humans doesn't have to guess what we are feeling.
Qing: If only it will be that easy. That's an interesting idea, Love. Maybe Zhu Gege was right, you have a wild imagination...you should write.
Me: Nah. If I start writing, the literary world will burn down in chaos.
Qing: (chuckling) No doubt.
Silence formed between us as Qing and I took moments to just stare at each other. It got broken when Qing spoke again.
Qing: See you tomorrow? I cannot wait. I miss you so much.
Me: Me too. I miss you. Yes. See you tomorrow. Message me when you got on the plane and when you landed here.
Qing: Sure. I will call the owner of the private plane now. Be good okay? Eat dinner with your parents.
Me: I will. And I will also tell them about our plans to switch places later on. I love you.
Qing: (smiling) I love you too. I'll try to call later again or I'll message once I arranged my flight for tomorrow.
Me: Okay. See you.
Qing ended that call and I sighed heavily. I hope this new strategy work because our last resort is get my grandmother on our side to negotiate for us and get married in haste.
Ugh! Why are our options frightening at best and absymal at worst? Ugh!
Being in the wrong is so...tiring everyone.