Before I left Siesta Key to pursue my dreams, I told myself I will remain focused. No distractions. No guys. Not until I get to where I want to be with my life. But nothing really goes to plan.
There has been talk around the hospital about Victor and I since the night of the gala. "He hasn't been out with a woman in years." "We've never seen him act that way not even with any of the other attendings." "Russell was smiling and laughing more that night than he ever has during his time here at Griffith."
People wouldn't shut up or quit staring at me when I'd walk into a room, the cafe, an O.R. Anywhere in this damn hospital. It was all whispers and small glances when I step foot into work. This is not what I need during my first year. Soon, people will start going as far as believing I'm giving him sex in exchange for special treatment at the hospital. The girls have asked me nonstop if I see myself being with Victor. What a crazy question. I will not be that intern who dates their attending or sleeps with them even. I will not like one of the interns, no name required.
Thankfully Victor has been ignoring the rumors and has not been awkward towards me. He of course is still the same Russell with his obnoxious yells and demanding ways. Strict about everything. But I wouldn't want it other way. If he weren't that Russell after the Gala I'd be concerned. What I think has people talking is how Russell sometimes will invite me to have lunch or bring me coffee when we work the same shift. In my opinion it doesn't mean anything. Friends get each other coffee and lunch. There doesn't have to be a deeper meaning behind it but people love seeing what isn't there. I on the other hand refuse to think too much into it. There have been times I find myself thinking I'm developing a crush on Victor but I immediately reject that idea.
Besides the rumors about me, Savannah has been annoying for the past three weeks not once shutting up about Buck. I guess they're now seeing each other now. He's even showed up to the hospital to bring her lunch. The vile climbs up my throat as I watch him grab her around the waist and pretend to be the slightest interested in her. It's obvious it's all an act. At least you hope it's an act because you can't deal with it being real.
I sometimes catch him searching the room when he's with her, as if he were searching for someone. When his eyes do find me, he smirks. My eyes never fail to meet the back of my eyelids as I roll them at him.
To my surprise I haven't see him at all today which makes me wonder if Savannah is working.
"Hey" Gigi sneaks up behind me.
"What's up?" I don't look up from my paperwork. Recently I've been very interested in researching wireless brain sensors. A patient came in a few days ago with a traumatic brain injury. There's been word about a device that can be placed on the brain during surgery that will be able to monitor the brain with wireless communication. It can potentially help us detect any bigger issues and do something about it before it causes more issues. Then, instead of removing the device it will dissolve within the body which will save us from having to perform multiple surgeries to remove the implant.
"What are you up to?" She peeks over my shoulder. I wave her away.
"Research..." I mutter hoping she will let me read. Love her to death but I hate being interrupted while I'm doing research.
"I hate to bother you..." here we go.
"But, we just got a patient in. Young male, 27, lost a lot of blood. Refusing any treatment"
She has my attention now. A stubborn patient. Those are always fun.
"We want to run some tests and scans, make sure he's okay and there's no internal injuries. There was a pretty bad wreck on the interstate not too long ago. He was found passed out at the scene. He's a bit scratched up. I thought maybe you could take this one. Please?" She pouts her lips. "I was assigned to work with Dr. Harrison today. He's in a meeting right now he told me to page him if anything." I neatly stack all my paperwork and place them inside my binder.
"Fine."
"Yay. Have fun" she hands me the patients chart and runs off past me. It's a bit odd that Gigi wants me on this case instead of her. I don't bother to ask why I just make my way to the room waiting to look at the chart once I'm in the room. She knows I have better luck with stubborn patients.
As I'm entering the room I feel myself regretting taking this chart. Now I understand why Gigi dumped this one on me. It's not because I'm better with stubborn patients. The universe is just playing games with me and I can't help but laugh.
"Evan Buckley. What did I do to deserve to see you once again." When I look up I see how beat up he is. He looks rough. The accident must've been pretty bad because he's scratched up and bruised. I find myself worrying about possible internal injuries and he best not argue with on getting looked at more thoroughly. Despite him being someone I'm highly trying to avoid, I wouldn't wish him any harm.
"Thank god you're here. You can tell them I'm good to go, I'll start getting dressed" Buck starts to get up but struggles. I glide across the room and put my hands on his shoulders, attempting to get him back on the bed.
"Easy" I say.
"We need to run some scans on you Evan" My tone serious.
"No im fine" he insists. I glare at him. I touch his abdomen and he winces. I cup his face in my hands. Not sure why I did that but I force him to look at me. My eyes scan his face. The cuts aren't too deep that they'll need stitches. He seems out of breathe. I remove my hands from around his cheeks.
"You're not fine, you've lost a lot of blood. Would you quit trying to get up!" My voice jumps up a tone as he attempts to get off the bed again. Why is he so stubborn?
"Do you have pain anywhere? Dizziness? You-"
"Stella I'm okay just have them discharge me" he whines.
"Buck." I say through my gritted teeth. He is crazy to think I'll let him walk out this hospital and have him end up back here with more serious problems or even dead in a few hours because he didn't want to listen. I won't have him die on me. I page Dr. Harrison. He's close with almost everyone at station 118 and I know Buck won't ignore his orders.
Buck stares up at me, sighing in defeat.
"I've paged Dr. Harrison. He should be here soon."
Buck throws his head back. "Really? Why Harrison? That man will chain me to this bed"
"Exactly why I paged him. If you won't listen to me I know you'll listen to him."
"I'll listen to you..." he says. I ignore his comment. I check his vitals. A part of me is almost 100% there's something wrong inside. He may seem okay on the outside but that doesn't mean he's not internally. I understand he wants to get back to work as soon as possible but he needs to make sure he's healthy before getting back into the field.
"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you Stella" His voice is soft. I breathe out through my nose. Men will say anything to get into your pants.
"Mhm" is all I manage to say.
"No I mean it. Look, I've never been this screwed up about a girl, well once but this is different! You are so diff"
I cut him off, "Buck please. How many girls have you told that to?"
"None. Well there was only one and it's a long story really but I'm serious. You're different."
He thinks I'm stupid. That I'll fall for his words and give in to sleeping with him again. I wasn't born yesterday. Buck isn't the guy who settles with one girl, he has to have them all according to the several things I've heard about him. He's slept with a couple of the nurses. I'm sure he's slept with Savannah already especially after the gala. That girl is so desperate for attention and I don't doubt he didn't hesitate to give it to her so he can get what he wants.
"Yeah alright. I'm going to take a listen to your heart. Sit up for me please" I remove my stethoscope from around my neck as Buck straightens up, I gently place the chest piece on his chest and ask him to take deep breathes.
His eyes are focused on me as I listen. He's enjoying how close I am to him right now I know it. I see that small smile from the corner of my eye.
"Look at me" he says, the words low and soft. My eyes look up at him on their own. Those pretty blue eyes blaze into my soul. I look away.
"You're so damn beautiful," he lightly shakes his head as if he can't believe what he is seeing, "and you have done something to me Moore. Something I never thought would happen to me ever again." The only other person who calls me by my last name is Victor.
I sigh in frustration and back away from him. He doesn't know when to stop.
"You can try your hardest to charm me but it's not going to work"
"I'm not trying to charm you. I'm telling you the truth"
"We are never going to happen, you know that right? Yes we slept together but"
"Twice and both times were amazing" he adds, a cocky grin appearing on his face. The sex flashbacks slowly start rolling in. I push them away.
"But it will never happen again" I assure him. He's testing my patience. All I want is to get him checked out and make sure he's safe to go but he's making life impossible right now.
"That's what you said at the bar" he reminds me.
"I mean it this time. It can't happen again..."
"Because you're with that asshole Russell?" his face turns red. Is that a hint of jealousy in his voice?
"No! And if I happened to be it wouldn't be any of your concern. Me and you won't work together, you're just pretending to be into me so"
"I'm not pretending anything here Stella" he's such a liar!
"Just give it up Buck. People talk and I've heard plenty about you. We literally slept together and you think you're head over heels over me? You don't even know me. You don't want to."
"Well then let me get to know you, please"
"I don't think you care to know me. And I didn't come here for people to know the real me. I came here to become an amazing surgeon at one of the most amazing hospitals in the country and I can't afford any distractions." Especially if that distraction had the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen and the softest, pink lips.
Stop it, Stella. Focus.
"So you're saying I'd be a distraction?" He seems offended and I don't understand why. This whole act isn't fooling me. He can easily go have Savannah, she'll fall into his trap.
"You'd be a mistake. You are a guy who isn't meant for relationships" I might sound harsh but I can't help but be honest. "And I'm a girl who isn't meant for love."
"It fascinates me how you seem to think you know everything about me but you don't know anything and everyone is meant for love. You just haven't searched in the right places"
"Please stop talking about love. And okay, maybe I don't know everything about you but I know guys like you."
"I worked my ass off to get here and I won't allow myself to get caught up with a man like you, Evan. Get it through your head! You're wasting your time trying. This conversation is done." God I'm so irritated that I end up turning away and walking out the room without letting him get another word in.
Dr. Harrison will show up wondering why no one is there but at this point I don't care. I hate that I've let my emotions get the best of me but why won't he leave me alone? He tries to convince me he's into to me but Evan Buckley isn't someone who falls for someone. They fall for him and he plays with them until he no longer wants to.
Buck's face takes over my vision. I replay the moment before I turned away from him, thinking abut the look in his eyes. He seemed hurt and angry. The hurt was probably fake. I'm sure he's angry that I won't give in.
I won't be one of his victims.