It took me a long time to fall asleep. I just couldn't get comfortable. I honestly couldn't say what got me to sleep. I wasn't hot or anything.
I found myself in Becca's and my childhood home. I was sitting on the rug in the living room. No one else was in the living room. Until Dad came in, anyway. He looked just like I remembered him.
"Marshall Julian Glynnhorn."
Uh oh. Something was up. Dad hardly ever called me that. Had I done something wrong?
"What is wrong with you?"
I couldn't move. I didn't know how to answer his question. What had I done to make him ask that?
"You not only took off on my siblings and their families who only wanted to shower you with love and affection, but you left your only sister behind. Was she too good for you?"
That wasn't true. That wasn't true. I loved Becca. The only reason I couldn't take her with me was because I couldn't give her the kind of life she deserved. I could never see her as too good for me.
"Why aren't you owning up to what you did? Aren't you man enough?"
I wished I could change the past, but I couldn't. I had no way to do that. The past was an awful place to live anyway.
***
I woke up with a scream caught in my throat. My sheets had fallen off my body. Sweat beaded my brow. My body was shaking.
I went to the den. It was a warm place. It wasn't usually a crowded one either. I didn't need that then.
I got into the recliner and leaned back. It was so much more comfortable than my bed had been. I liked it. It felt like I could just melt into the chair.
Not sure when but I was about to doze off when I felt a pair of eyes staring at me.
A man was staring at me. He was in a white shirt and dark pants. His hair was black, and his eyes were like an oasis. This man must've been Alain's dad. They looked so similar.
"Did I wake you, son?"
I shook my head.
"Something happen? Looked a bit spooked when I came in."
"Rough night." I looked out the window. "That's part of life, though. Just have to get through the day and try again the next night."
He sat on the couch. "Nightmares?"
Was it that obvious? For all he knew I could've been hot all night.
"After two years, you probably knew this already, but my boy has had awful nightmares most of his life."
I nodded. I'd seen it before. It was hard to watch him when he crashed. Him evolving soon afterward didn't make the ordeal any easier, either.
"What was it about?"
"My dad."
"Most of you have lost your parents, right?"
I couldn't look at him. "And most of us won't get them back. Lie is the only one who has a shot at that. The only one of us who can likely still see theirs is Duke."
"It's hard, isn't it?"
"I don't know if it ever really gets easier." I took a breath. "It happened nine years ago, but it feels like it happened yesterday."
Alain's dad slid closer. "What did you dream about with your dad?"
"It wasn't fun... I wonder if he's proud of the man I've become. Of how I've treated my family."
"My wife and my son have told me kids get to travel the world when they turn thirteen, is that right?"
I nodded.
"And it's not uncommon for orphans to start young?"
I nodded again.
"Do you have any siblings?"
I felt myself shaking. "I have a little sister. She calls herself Recah."
"I get the sense you chose to leave home when you lost your parents. Did you take your sister?"
I shook my head. "I couldn't bring myself to when I didn't know how I was gonna get by myself. I knew our well-off aunts and uncles would take her." I squeezed my hands together. "Still, I question it now. She hated it because she didn't like how much they spoiled her like we knew they would. I question now if she would've been happier with me."
"There's more to it, isn't there?"
"Is Dad proud of me?" I looked down. "I promised I'd look out for Becca. I promised to be there for her." I struggled to keep my voice steady. "Did I do that when I left her with our relatives?"
Alain's dad put his hands on my shoulders. "Son, as a dad myself, I can tell you this with certainty. Dads might not always agree with their sons' decisions, but they are always proud of them. Your dad is looking down on you right now, smiling with pride. I guarantee it."
It was hard to believe that after the nightmare I just had. Logic said he was right, but my doubt didn't think so. It was hard. That nagging voice in the back of your head was a pest.
"It's hard to believe sometimes. Just know it's true." He flashed a smile. "I'm incredibly proud of the person my son has become. I'm looking forward to seeing where he goes in life."
I could see that clearly. He could say he hated his son and wanted him out of his sight, and I wouldn't believe him. His eyes said otherwise, and he couldn't hide that fact.
"What do you know about the day he left?"
I raised an eyebrow. "I don't think he's said much about it."
"I had just gotten out of the shower. He'd probably come into our room to see my wife. With his eyes distant, he looked out of it." He looked out the window. "I'd asked him what he was looking at and he didn't know. he said he had to go. My wife just accepted it, but I asked where. He said he couldn't say." He sighed. "I didn't agree with his decision. I thought it was impulsive, but I knew he wasn't after my approval. There was no reasoning with a boy who wasn't acting with his head. He left through our dresser mirror after that."
I laughed. "Sounds like Alain alright." I shook my head. "Did you come in here for a reason?"
"I'm looking for my wife. She doesn't know I'm home yet." He got up. "If you want to take a nap in here, there's a decent blanket in the basket under the end table next to you."
"Thank you, sir."
"I didn't do anything, son."
I felt better after that. I dozed off soon after.
***
Thoughts on the interactions here? Theories? Predictions?
~Shino out!