Bobby looked at her phone. She'd managed to tuck herself into bed pretty early and was now trying to focus on a book. It was hard. It was really hard.
Every night, she stood and stared at her door for several minutes, telling herself to put the chain on. He wasn't going to show up after she'd gone to bed, she wasn't going to wake up to him kissing her and she wasn't going to find herself in his arms. Still, she couldn't bring herself to do it, she just couldn't bring herself to put the chain on.
Now she sat in bed, reading the same line over and over gain, unable to focus. Without really thinking, she reached out and grabbed the phone.
"No." she said, putting it back down. "No, I can't. I have to give them a chance."
She unplugged the phone and stood, placing it on the table in the other room, then she walked back to her bed. With a mental nod that she was doing the right thing, she settled back into the bed and picked up the book, reading the same lines over.
Then the phone rang.
Bobby put the book down and turned in the direction of the kitchen, listening to the first, ring, then the second... Then, she jumped up out of the bed, tripping over the covers as the phone continued to ring. She stood and rushed again, this time sliding and crashing into a chair in the next room.
"Fuck...." She said loudly, pushing the chair aside and running into the living room, scrambling for the table at the end of the room where her phone now sat ringing.
She stared at it for a second, catching her breath and then she walked over to it. It continued to ring, the name displayed clearly on the screen.
"Matt." She whispered. "No. I won't. I won't."
But she did.
"Bobby."
His voice was low and she took a deep breath.
"Matt." She said softly, feeling relieved at hearing his voice.
"I need you." He said.
"Matt, we talked about this." She said, her voice trembling.
"I know. I'm stuck..." He said and Bobby frowned.
"You're fucking kidding me, right? I know you're not asking me to go pick you up, right?" She asked, realizing he was drunk. "This is just great."
"I'm not sure where I am... I think I see a cab." He said, his voice slurred. "I need you to save me, Bobby."
"You see a cab? Great, get it and go home." She said, hanging up the call. Bobby stared down at her phone for a second, unbelieving of what had just happened and then her eyes widened as it began to ring again.
"No, nope." She said, putting it on silent and rejecting the call. She put the phone back down and turned on her heel towards the door. "No." Then she slid the chain and walked back into her room.
Bobby tossed and turned for over an hour after that, unable to erase the image of Matt sitting somewhere, drunk and alone from her mind.
---
Bobby sat up looked around, the room pitch black around her. She'd been having the same dream, the one where she woke up to Matt kissing her and everything was fine. She was covered in a thin layer of sweat and she looked up to the thermostat. Why had she set it so warm?
She stood, adjusting it and then she looked around the room. It was only half past 2. With a sigh and a shake of her head, Bobby made her way into the kitchen and decided to boil water. Maybe she'd be able to sleep better after a cup of tea. She wasn't usually a tea drink but then again, she wasn't usually the kind of person to have trouble sleeping through the night.
As she waited for the water boil, she remembered her phone and wondered if there would be more missed calls or messages on it but she refused to go get it. She refused to touch that phone until her alarm went off in the morning. Then she heard it, a strange scratching sound.
A mouse maybe? She looked around. It wouldn't be the first time she had problems with mice, although she hadn't seen anything getting into her food. Bobby wasn't afraid of mice, sure they were disgusting but jumping around and screaming wasn't going to get her anywhere. Instead, she walked over to a cabinet, checking to see if she had traps she could set.
Then, she heard it again, only this time, it was coming from her door.
She stared, frozen and unable to move. Was someone trying to open her door? Well, they'd have a hell of a time getting in, she had two locks on the door... just in case, Bobby moved towards her purse, searching for the pepper spray.
"Damn it." She muttered, realizing she must have left it at Matt's apartment. She'd need to get a new one in the morning. She turned, looking towards the door and instinctively reached to her stove, picking up a frying pan. Then, she inched closer to the door, putting her ear against it. Silence.
The sound must be coming from a neighbor's door, after all the walls were thin. Then she heard it again, and this time, she saw the handle begin to jiggle. Bobby clasped a hand over her mouth to keep herself from screaming. Be calm, she told herself. She reached for a small stool nearby and placed it by the door so she could properly reach the peep hole. Maybe it was just one of her neighbors and they were confused... wouldn't be the first time ever.
Then, as she looked through the hole, the door moved, tipping the stool over and knocking her to the ground.
"Fuck." She said as she felt her head hit the carpeted floor. She sat for a moment, looking around, her vision blurred as she moved around, searching for the frying pan.
"Bobby? are you okay?" She heard a voice from above her say. She wrapped her hand around the pan's handle and looked up at the person trying to stick their head through the door.
It was Matt.
"Matt?" She said, dropping the frying pan and putting a hand on the back of her head. He was trying to peek in but the chain on the door had kept it from opening. She hadn't considered he would try using her keys to get in.
"Move." She said firmly, prompting him to disappear behind the door as she closed it and unhooked the chain. Then, she pulled the door open and there he was, staring right at her.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't know you were behind the door." He said, stepping inside and reaching towards her. She shook her head and shut the door, walking back towards the kitchen.
"What are you doing here? You scared me." She said, removing the kettle from the stove.
"You? Scared?" He said, moving closer to her, "I don't believe it."
"I'm serious, what are you doing here?" She asked, turning as glaring at him.
"I'm not sure." He said after a few more seconds. "The cab driver asked me for the address and I guess I gave him yours."
Matt took a seat on a chair, putting his face in his hands. He was obviously still a bit drunk. She put her hand on the back of her head, soothing it, trying to make the headache that was coming on fade away.
"Well, don't get too comfortable. We're putting you in a lyft with the right address right now." She said, moving towards the living room but he reach out, grabbing her arm.
"Wait, Bobby." He said, pulling her onto his lap. Bobby stiffened, trying to stand.
"Stop it, Matt." She said but his grip was firm.
"No, I don't want to. Bobby please, please." He pleaded. "let's just talk about it."
He placed a hand on the back of her head and pulled out her hair tie, releasing he long locks around her face. It had been too long since he got to see her this way, with her beautiful hair cascading over her shoulders. Then, he ran his fingers through the strands until eventually he began to massage her scalp, making her toes curl. She closed her eyes, forgetting what she was upset about and only enjoying the feeling, enjoying the nearness of him. He smelled so good, even drunk he smelled so amazingly good. She didn't realize when she'd done it, but she'd wrapped her arms around his neck and she was clinging to him desperately.
"Is that better?" He whispered into her ear and she dumbly nodded, unable to think clearly. A few seconds later, she felt as he moved his face against hers, kissing her cheek very gently, trying to get her to kiss him back but Bobby snapped, pushing him away and standing.
"I said Stop it." She said, raising her voice. Matt stared at her, surprised by her reaction.
"You can't keep doing this." She said angrily. "How am I supposed to be okay if you won't stop doing this to me?"
"Bobby, I just want to be with you." Matt said. "This doesn't make any sense to me."
"But it does to me." She said. "I can't cope with this. I know that this wasn't planned, I know that but I don't know what to do."
"Be with me. Just be with me." He said, moving towards her but she shook her head and took a step back.
"You have other things to focus on Matt and so do I." She said, "I can't do this right now."
"Then I'll wait." He said, making her look up. "I'll give you the space and time you need."
"Matt..." She began but this time he shook his head.
"I know that when you've had some time to process it, you'll see that it's supposed to be you and me. I'll wait." He said.
They stared at each other in silence for several minutes as Bobby tried to think clearly. Her heart wanted her to say okay, to jump into his arms, to tell him she'd stick by his side no matter what... but her mind reminded her how complicated it all was, it told her to consider Lisa's feelings, it told her to consider what it would be like for her. If they didn't all work together, if the three of them didn't have to see each other every day it could work but Bobby couldn't give up everything she worked for and it wasn't fair to ask Lisa to do that either. So, with a sigh, she turned and walked back into the living room towards the door.
"You should go now, Matt." She said, holding it open for her. Matt was still, trying to think of what else he could say, what he could do... but in the end, all he did was walk out.