Harem
Any guy or girl will agree with me by saying being in love with your best friend sucks, big time. Whether you're the nerdy dependant one or the cool outgoing one, you can be still be shoved into the friend zone. I know I've been in this zone since the 7th grade unknowingly by one blonde-haired brown-eyed girl named Selby. My best friend.
When I first met Selby, I thought she was the most amazing girl ever, she still is. Kind, loyal, down to earth, a hell of a gamer, and just simply gorgeous. I never thought I will see her again after the impromptu summer camp trip when we were eleven but things worked out after all. Auntie J and Uncle Eli including cousin Mari spoke to my folks and Mischa's to let us transfer to Spencer. Our parents were apprehensive at first but my bullying and Mischa's role of being my protector were causing a lot of tension within our homes. I was happy to move to Spencer. Elijah was more like a brother to me, he helped me become social after I got my hearing aid, taught me different things, and even helped me experience life as a kid. Mischa was happy to leave our old hometown. He always said the kids pick on us because of our family notoriety. Aside from our uncle and aunt being billionaires, our folks were huge successes in their own fields, whether it's in the food industry, medical field, or business. The Johnsons made their mark.
Meeting Selby that summer brightened my mood, chased away my worries. She didn't treat me differently when she saw my earpiece, she simply asked mundane questions before thinking of things for us to do that won't be too much on me. I was still trying to adjust to the outdoor ambiance and get my speech perfect.
"Ah, shit!"
Selby's annoyed curse broke through my thoughts. Looking up from the laptop I was working on, I saw her lying on the floor with a pissed-off look on her face. Her teammates were rushing to her side but I was the first to reach. "I'm fine you guys. Missed a step, that's all," she said aloud, waving off her friends. She turned and graced me with a soft smile. My heart was now slowing down after the minor panic of her actually being hurt.
"I'm fine, Remmie," she said softly. A soft heat came upon my face. There were a few moments in the years of our friendship when she calls me Remmie. Those moments are when she's in a good mood or feeling vulnerable and contemplative.
"Still haven't nailed your routine? You've been practicing so hard over vacation. I had to beg you to rest," I returned, sitting beside her as she sat up.
"A lot is on my mind, I'm just a little off."
For over three months, I wanted to say. "Wanna talk about it?" I opted for.
"Not now, Rem. You're really a good friend, you know that?"
There was the stab to the heart, this time it went deeper because of the brotherly punch that accompanied her words. Though I heard the words over and over, this time it pissed me off but I kept calm. "Yup. Good old Harem. Meet me at the car when you're through. Need to pack away my stuff," I muttered. Not waiting for her response, I got up, collected my things in the far corner of the studio, and left with her teammates' sincere and friendly goodbyes. I shouldn't be angry, she doesn't know I love her, on top of that she has a boyfriend who's a total asswipe by the way. I know her distraction is probably due to the jock, the guy was off and she's too blinded by his charms to see it. He's a narcissistic, conniving cunt with anger issues. Raine and Ayanna voiced their concerns even Mischa but our Selby always sees the good in everyone and always accommodating. What can I do to protect her? He may hurt her emotionally if not, physically. Something's gotta give.
..... And it may be right in front of me.
Didn't Derek say his football practice was canceled? So why is his SUV at the far side of the car park with him at the back door of .....
Yup. And there it is.
My heart clenched in pain for my best friend. Here I am witnessing her boyfriend with his jeans around his ankles with his hips pistoning into some willing girl. Whoever he was fucking had their sock-clad feet anchored around his thigh. Cliched as fuck but what do you expect from high schoolers. I released a heavy sigh and got into my car. Not wanting her to see it all, I texted her to meet me at the front of the school. She will have to walk through the ground floor halls to meet me. Closing my eyes, wishing I didn't see it, I tried to convince myself that it wasn't Derek but I was kidding myself. It was his SUV. I recognized his height, hair color, and his tribal tattoo on his left arm. The anger that bloomed in my chest made the angelic and devil sides to my conscience appear in my head.
One side was telling me to confront the cheating bastard and lay into him but the other side was leading me away from the prick and towards Selby. It will gut her to find out about this shit in public. Her practice was about to finish, if she sees him with all her friends, the humiliation will spike further. No. I had to protect her.
My car was hidden by a couple of cars but anyone could have noticed him from the back entrance of the dance studio which is connected to the girls' locker room. On the far side of the car park, the football field was closer, anyone can see him from either way yet there he was, doing his shit in public. My anger began was boiling over now, not only was he a cheater but a disrespectful one too. Running my fingers through my hair, I backed out of my parking spot and glanced in my rearview mirror to see Derek look over his shoulder. He quickly pulled up his jeans and slammed the back door of his van before rounding it to go to the driver's side. Shaking my head, I simply drove off at a moderate speed, not wanting him to know I saw everything. He probably recognized my car but I really didn't care.
Selby was my main concern.
Should I tell her?
It wasn't a secret among the group that we didn't like Derek. We tolerated the dude because of our love and loyalty to her. If I tell her, she will misconstrue it to me wanting her to get rid of Derek because we don't like him, denying the truth during that whole time.
Ah fuck.
Maybe I should let the girls do it.
I don't know what to do.
Parking at the front of the school, I saw Derek's van speeding past the school on the main street, proving that it was really him. The SUV was black with God-awful orange customized rims, it was truly recognizable. Closing my eyes, I threw my head back against the headrest, trying to figure out what to do, what to say, the thought of hurting her was killing me. I guess I lost track of time, before I know it, in climbed in the subject of my dreams.
"All good?" I asked in a conciliatory tone. How long was I trying to calm myself and getting lost in thought?
"Yeah."
I grinned at her sunny disposition, always so upbeat, and never let herself get down. I know back at the studio she was feeling sorry for herself and pushing her mind and body to get in perfect synchronization but she will work it out soon. Until then, I will be with her every step of the way, like I always have. A frown marred my face as I came to the realization that I also placed myself in the friendzone with Selby by being one of her 'go-to' guys, a brother. Am I too late to change that status?
"Yo, you okay. We gotta go before we lose our good spots."
Shaking my head to get rid of my sad thoughts, I turned her way and gave her a small smile. Her toothy grin made my own smile wider. Leaning over the console she threw her arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to her in time to take an impromptu selfie. "Sellie," I grumbled half-heartedly when she laughed at my slight annoyance with her fingers typing away on her phone.
"Your random pics are IG worthy, Harem. You don't have a bad side, at all. Look how cute you look," she said showing me the photo of us. A little surprise was shown on my face but it was the cheeky smile she had on her face that made me fall deeper for her. Her brown eyes had this sheen of happiness that I always want to see in them. That brought me back to what I witnessed earlier. My sweet Sellie.
"I love it. Send me a copy," I agreed with her before driving out of the parking lot. We spoke animated about a new anime set to air in two weeks and a few classes we have for this last year of school. Everything was normal but anxiety ate at me due to the secret I'm now keeping from her. I literally don't know what to do.
We arrived at Turn & Drip, the local book cafe that was recently opened by a newcomer to town in companionable silence, giving me time to think of what I must do. The group made it our afterschool hangout when we found all the books and comics we liked at this one cafe. Walking in, we were greeted by the workers and some patrons who were also our schoolmates. I allowed Selby to grab our spot while I got our orders. While waiting in line, a group notification text came through.
KpopDude (Elijah): I fucking did it. I asked her out and she said yes.
Italiano (Alec): There you go, amico. Getting a girlfriend the normal way.
ProfMoody (Trey): Congrats, man.
Sellie (Selby): OMG!!! I can't wait to see the look on Bree's face when she finds out. Oh to be the fly on that wall.
RussianMob (Mischa): She's gonna be sucking lemons for the entire year. LMAO. Way to go, bro with taking charge. You've proved me wrong.
Me: Same here, bro. Proud of you.
Rainy (Raine): Yeah. Yeah. Enough of that mushy stuff. Where are you taking her? What are you going to wear? How did she sound when she answered you? Did you geek out?
YaYa (Ayanna): Breathe chica. Breathe. It's just been a few hours. Let him succumb to reality. He's probably still on a high now.
A laugh escaped me, knowing Ayanna was spot on about my cousin Elijah. Bree has been his only girlfriend and he's not the world's most outgoing person. He likes to stay in his comfort zone meaning he stays within his family's reach and is an introvert as long as I've known him. He's fun and wild with us but put him away from us, he clams up real tight. We all know how fragile he is but after the breakup with Bree, a tough shell was created.
Who wouldn't?
If your childhood crush, the only girl you loved outside of your familial circle, betrayed you by spreading lies and defaming your character, breaking your heart in the process, won't you create a tough shell too?
Sellie & Rainy: LMAO! Sorry, Elijah.
KpopDude: Eh whatever. I'm taking her to the flea market tomorrow after school. I'm gonna be wearing clothes, Raine. I did blabber a lot but it was the freaking nerves but she still said yes. I don't know guys but it feels right this time.
ProfMoody: What do you mean?
I didn't respond and I know Mischa won't also. Elijah confided in us a few days after the breakup, he suspected something was off between him and Bree but that didn't make it hurt any less.
"Next, please."
Looking away from the phone, I placed my orders before returning my attention to the chat. The girls were asking Elijah to explain but he was brushing them off with the excuse of not wanting to ruin his mood. Understanding his need to move on, we all read on as he recapped his afternoon with Spencer High's new student. It wasn't long before I got my order and was on my way to meet Selby. She was curled up on one of the loveseats with her jacket beside her, reserving my spot. "Iced mocha and red velvet cupcake for you. Grande Cafe Mocha and a minced meat pie for me," I announced, placing them on the coffee table beside our seat. Grinning my way, she quickly typed a message in the group before putting away her phone. I glanced at the chat to read what she wrote.
Sellie: Signing off guys. It's Sellie and Remmie's time.
Chuckling at her announcement and at Raine and Ayana's comment, I followed her actions by putting away her phone. It wasn't new for us to separate ourselves from the group at times. The girls and guys separate for time away and sometimes just my cousins and me. To me, it strengthens our group, just like the previous popular group of Spencer High.
"How is business?" Selby asked. I boldly took her legs and placed them on my lap, she sighed in pleasure when I slipped off her flats and gave her a good foot massage. I'm so lost for her, I thought to myself. This was our routine since she picked up with dance.
"Fixing the neighbor's laptop at the moment. Three kids at school sent in requests for laptop customizing. It will keep me busy for the month."
"Dad said a client liked the customization you did on his with the production company logo. You ever think of going into official business with your talent. You're really good at it. I swear anything you Johnsons touch turns into gold."
"Uncle Eli asked me the same thing and also Bryan. I'm giving myself until graduation."
The business she refers to was the graphic design for hardware and the computer repair hobby I picked up with for two years now. I love doing it but I want to learn more.
"Number one fan right here," she teased.
"Yes you are," I said softly. It was at that moment, I found myself lost in her soft brown eyes, held in her gaze, not wanting this moment to end. Being cruel to myself, I broke the connection by reaching for my coffee. The image of Derek fucking that girl came to mind, guilt took over my happy mood.
"Do you believe we will have that special senior year like Mari and her friends did?" Selby asked softly. Gone were traces of teasing and mischief in her eyes, it seems like she has been thinking about this for a while. I have been asking myself the same thing after the older group told us about their senior year. To us, they are our older brothers and sisters, our role models. Before we returned to Spencer they asked for us to actually enjoy the year. Just like them, we kept to ourselves, staying on the outskirts of the student body. Never attended house parties or any get-together which were away from any sport or club we are part of. Total loners if you see us like that.
"Do you want that? To have the last year of high school filled with drama and novel-worthy romance?"
She flinched outwardly, turning her face away from me. My tone was a bit harsh and unwarranted but that's what my older cousins went through. Over the years we heard the uncensored truth of what happened. Mari was physically bullied. Issac was not only abused sexually by his uncle but verbal and mental by his entire family, twice he attempted to take his life. Charisse was also verbally and mentally abused by her family, not as bad as Issac's but she was. Kade, Jerron, and Bryan got themselves out of the bd side of town after doing what they needed to survive. The twins. Fuck it all to hell. The twins had to embrace the fact that their mother hated them so much she tried to kill them in the womb. They nearly lost their little brother in a fire when she went off the deep end.
I can do without the drama but it seems it found me.
"N-no. I meant the romance part. We've all grown up witnessing the love amongst all of them. They survived high school senior year, college years, and now adulthood. I-I want what Mari and the girls have," she pushed.
"You do have that." I swallowed the lump in my throat that formed after that reply. Guilt and heartache that's what it is.
"Yeah. I guess I do. Derek and I have been together longer than most high school relationships."
We stayed in uncomfortable silence for a while before I spoke up. "You do love him right?" The fake smile and enthusiastic nod caught me off guard but I played it cool and accepted it. Selby removed her legs from my lap and finished up her snack. I did the same but didn't taste a thing. My conscience was pushing me to tell her but I couldn't do it.
'Yes, you can. Just rip it off like a band-aid,' I said to myself.
"Sellie...."
Before I can say anything else, her phone rang, by the distinct ringtone I knew who it was. Abruptly, I got to my feet and cleared our trash then went outside to clear my head. My hands were trembling with anger, wanting to bash the fucker's face in. I couldn't stay and listen to her talk to him in there. 'You have to tell her,' my conscience pushed. A frustrated growl escaped me as I ran my hands through my hair roughly, pacing the sidewalk in agitation. It will crush her but I have to.
I have to break my best friend's heart.
The anger fled only leaving the major ache in my heart, my fucking soul. Why is life so messed up?
"Remmie?"
I stopped in my tracks upon hearing her voice and the worried tone it came with. Turning around, I was met by those chocolate eyes that showed every emotion. Stepping closer to her, I found myself caressing her cheek with the back of my fingers, loving the way the evening breeze played with the blonde tendrils framing her face. Her lips parted releasing a contented sigh when I got closer to her. I can actually feel the warmth of her body, smell the peaches and honey body cream she loves so much. I was in a trance, using my finger to trace the contours of her face, feeling the curve of her lips, she was a natural beauty not only on the outside but the inside too. She alone can stop the chaos in my head at the moment. Placing my other hand on her waist, the chant of 'kiss her' was resonating in my head. Using the back of my right hand, I slowly brushed the contour of her neck and torso causing her to shudder, placing it on the other side of her waist. Lowering my head to hers, I heard her whisper the pet name she calls me before those beautiful eyes of hers shuttered closed. My lips brushed against hers once, she clutched onto my arms tightly, turning my head I brushed them again. Loving the way she felt against me, wanting to savor our first kiss for eternity. My heart was beating so loud in my ear as I wrapped my arms around her. Moving to brush my lips against hers for the third time, the loud obnoxious honking of a car horn and the calling of her name broke our moment. She pushed me weakly away, startled by Derek's rude shout but I couldn't let her go. I held her tighter, tucking my face in the crook of her neck. Her pulse was beating so fast like a hummingbird's wings. I placed my lips against the beat to calm her. "Hold me, Sellie," I pleaded with her. Her body was trembling but I didn't know why. Her arms came around my neck, in a tight hold, this was perfect.
"He wanted to spend time with me tonight," she quietly explained. Before I can respond, Selby was pulled away from me harshly, I literally felt the force in which she left my arms. Her cry of pain pissed me off.
"What do you think you're doing with my girlfriend?" Derek shouted, pushing me backward. He and I were the same height but he had a few pounds of muscle on me, thanks to his football training. I ignored him and focused on the tight grip he had on Selby's wrist.
"You're hurting her, Derek. Let her go," I growled lowly, trying to get to her. He pushed me further away, pissing me the fuck off even more. Harshly pushing his hand away from my chest, I stepped into his personal space in which he did the same. The tension between us was thick.
"Fuck off, Kertalis. You think I didn't see you trying to kiss my girl."
"He wasn't, Derek. We were just saying goodbye. Let's just get my things from his car. Come on baby," Selby said, putting herself between us.
"Sellie, I don't think you should go with him," I said to her, not liking the look in his eyes.
"Are you trying to come between us, Kertalis? She's my girl, if she wants to go home with me, that's her choice, not yours," he sneered.
"Selby. Don't."
"Harem, enough." The admonishing shout from her surprised me. Looking down at her, my brows furrowed by the look on her face. "Sellie, please don't go with him. He doesn't deserve you," I grounded out, eyeing him in the process. The clenching of his fists wasn't missed by me.
"What are you saying, Harem? He's my boyfriend, he's just taking me home. What's gotten into you this afternoon. You've been off."
"Just come with me, I have to tell you something..."
The humorless laugh that escaped Derek bothered me. He wrapped his beefy arms around Selby's body, pulling her away from me. Kissing her head, he grinned my way. What is he doing?
"You want to do this now, Kertalis. You wanna tell her how much you loved her since freshman year but had no guts to tell her right before you shed me in some bad light? Just so you can get her. I told you, babe. It was just a matter of time." The taunting was in his voice but the manipulative tone I heard him use on her hundreds of times was there.
No. No. No. No. He's twisting everything around.
Selby eyed me warily. "Is that true, Remmie? You would have done that? Lie about Derek, so I will fall into your arms? Do you think I'm stupid? " Disbelief and disgust played across her face
"No. Why would I lie when I saw it with my own eyes?" I shouted, "Sellie, you have to believe me. He's cheating on you. I saw him in the parking lot at school fucking some chick in his van." Derek wore a smirk on his face as Selby shook her head in denial, trying to distance herself from me. It wasn't hard to read her body language, she thinks I betrayed her.
"Harem. Derek just got back his van from one of his friends since he didn't have practice, he left it with Laramie who has soccer, and got a ride home with Shem. I know you guys don't approve of our relationship but to break us up with lies? And from you? How could you? You're my best friend. I trusted you." Each tear that fell from her eyes matched my own, I could barely breathe, it hurts so much.
"Sellie. Please you have to believe me," I said over a sob that lodged in my throat. She pulled away when I leaned forward to touch her, that did it. I was frozen to the spot by that action. "The only truth that came from his mouth is that I do love you. Sellie, please don't do this." I didn't care if I was making a fool of myself before her and in public, the only thought in my head was that she was leaving me.
"Derek warned me about this. God, my own friends," she exclaimed.
"The others have nothing to do with this. I was the one who saw your precious boyfriend cheating on you. To protect you from his crap, I told you to meet me at the front steps, I didn't want you to hurt..." I didn't hide my malice for Derek nor my anger by our situation in my words.
"Shut up! Stop lying! Fuck!"
We eyed each other angrily before she stalked off in the direction of my car. Derek stepped forward chuckling lowly, I know he can see the blazing anger in my eyes but he kept on laughing. Not able to hold on to my anger anymore, I let it all out. Something just snapped in me. The punch landed squarely on his jaw, setting him a few steps back. He recovered and tried to put in a punch but I ducked under his arm and used my knee to kick him in the gut. He fell to his knee, but I didn't stop, I landed another punch to his face, sending him sprawling on his back. Straddling him, I began to land a few hits to his face before I was pulled off. Fighting the person who was restraining me, I saw only red, I wanted that piece of shit gone. The person holding me was trying to calm me but the due's words weren't registering at all. I was out of it. "Derek! Oh my God. Harem, what have you done?" Selby's scream and tearful words sent a bucket of cold water down my spine. I allowed the man holding me back to pull me away from Selby and Derek. She was hovered over the fucking bastard, helping him to sit up. His bloodied nose and swollen eyes gave me some satisfaction.
"Come on, babe. Let's get you home."
Her comforting words to him lanced my already torn heart. Shrugging off the hold on me, I eyed Selby warily as she approached me with Derek stumbling by her side. She approached me with blind fury written over her face. Her hand reared back to smack me, I didn't move. I let her slap me with all of her angst but I never once hid my feelings for her. The smack made my face burn and my head twist to the right, I accepted it all. Slowly I faced her, her chest heaving in anger, tears streaming down her red face, eyes bloodshot but she was still my sweet Sellie.
"Stay the fuck away from us."
I didn't answer nor did I look their way as they left. She left with my heart, well what's left with it.
So much for not wanting drama.