It's ridiculous really and gods know I am the last person that should be entertaining this idea but I just can't help it...
So I asked Qing.
Me: Can we go back to that meadow?
Qing, who like me is quite ready to end this day is sitting on our bed with his back against the headboard with a book on his hand, stopped reading to turn his head and look at me.
Qing: Excuse me?
I turned my body fully towards him and sat cross legged on top of the bed.
Me: Hear me out...
Qing: (groaning) Am I about to hear something crazy again? Why me...?
Me: None of that! Hear me out...okay?
Qing: (long suffering sigh) Do I have a choice?
Me: (wincing in sympathy for him) Actually no. May I remind you, kind Sir, that being with me was your idea. You chose to love me so...here we are.
Qing: Right. I chose this. (visibly bracing himself) Okay, I am ready. Give it to me.
Me: I think we should go back to that meadow and you should propose to me again.
Qing gave me a look that silently says that he is afraid he is sharing a bed with a total lunatic. Which is not the truth. I am not a total lunatic. I do have crazy ideas but not all my ideas are crazy so I think I have not totally lost it yet.
But Qing is not convinced of that.
Qing: (baffled look on his face) Why in Hades would I go back to that place? Are you crazy? Do you think I am crazy? I hate that place! Do you have any idea what I thought about doing on that place while I was in my drinking spree of drowning my sorrow when you rejected me on that fucking meadow? I thought of buying that whole land and blazing it on fire. Just burn it all down.
Yikes. That's...how much he hates that place?
Me: (uneasily) Uhm...Qing...
Qing: No. I will not go back to that place ever again. Not with you. And certainly not to propose again on that place. No!
Me: Wait! Wait! Hear me out first. Please...
I took hold of Qing's arm to get him to listen to me. He gave me an exasperated look but he stayed on his spot and kept his attention to me.
Me: Look...all I am saying is...now that I have more info and variables about your proposal, like the fact that our families know about it and they are not pressuring us to do this thing in haste...(wincing) maybe, the result will be different.
Qing: (not at all happy at what he is hearing) Maybe the result will be different? Maybe? MAYBE?!
Me: Okay...I think I am not phrasing this right...
Qing: (pulling his arm away from my hold) No. I think you are phrasing this right. You are telling me that if I agree to this insane suggestion of yours that we go back to that meadow and I get on one knee again...there is still a chance that I will get rejected and left there once again. (chuckling darkly) I think I am hearing you right.
Me: It's because of my panic attack...
Qing: No.
Me: Qing...
Qing: I said no! (eyes narrowing) Wow, I think I am underestimating your ability to be shameless, Feng Jian Yu. Where did you get the audacity...the confidence...to even consider to ask me to propose to you again like the first time was not disastrous and traumatic enough? Are you always this outrageously brazen? And here I am thinking that I fell in love with someone so pure and demure.
Me: (confuse) You thought I was pure and demure? Why would you think like that about me?
Qing: (snickering) Because you somehow bewitched me to fall madly in love with you enough to hold that stupid opinion about you. Well, not anymore!
Me: (rolling my eyes on him) Ugh! Stop being dramatic and hear me out. I know this is shameless. I know I am being audaciously brazen right now but...I think I need to go back to that meadow where my panic attack started...
Qing: (cutting me off) Then go back there if you want. I will even pay for your plane tickets from here to there and back here again. Just don't take me with you.
Me: But I can't go there alone.
Qing: Take one of your friends with you
Me: (he is being impossible) Maybe I should take one of YOUR friends with me. How about that?
Qing: (nodding) Cool. Take Jin. He would love to have a lot of time talking to you.
Oh now he is just being petty.
Me: (groaning) Qing, come on! I think we need to reenact what happened...
Qing: What happened was you hurting me and leaving me there with my shame and sorrow. That's what happened and I hope you will understand why I don't want to reenact that.
Me: But it will be different this time!
Qing: How so? What is my guarantee that it will be different this time? Unless you can guarantee me, a hundred and one percent, that the outcome will be different, my decision stands. No!
That's a problem. I am ready to commit to a fifty fifty chance that it will be different this time but Qing is asking for a hundred and one percent reversal of what happened.
I hate being with a savvy businessman. They always want a sure profit for their investment. And it's worse with Qing, he already done the investment before and he got broken. Now, he is not just being cautious, he is refusing altogether to invest again. He got burned already, why would he invest again? He is right about that.
So what should I do to entice him to try to invest again? The profit has to be more attractive. See...this is the advantage of joining a business minded family, their skill in business gets rubbed on you. It's all about the deal. The negotiation. To lure investors, you have to sweeten the pot more...
I sidled closer to Qing. I hugged one of his arms and rubbed my face on the side of his shoulder.
Me: Qing, this is also for you...
Qing: (chuckling in dry amusement) I cannot wait to hear this. Okay, I will bite. Why is this for me?
Me: (looking at his eyes) I think I am not the only one who changed after that event. You clearly developed a trauma in that meadow. A trauma in proposing. You need to overcome that.
Qing: (confidently) And I will. I will talk to a therapist about what happened and cure any lingering trauma I experienced there. (smirking) Don't worry, I won't mention your name to my therapist. I will protect you that way.
He has answer for everything! Aiyooo!
Me: That's not what I...Qing!
Qing: (brows furrowing) Dayu ah!
Me: (hugging his arm tighter) Qing, lets cure our traumas together. (looking at him and deliberately blinking several times) And just think, if the result will be different, just think of what that will mean.
Qing: (suddenly curious) What would that mean?
Me: (smiling sweetly) It will mean, your ring on my finger.
I let his arm go so I can show him my left hand. So he can see, in full view, my naked and ringless fourth finger.
Me: See? Just imagine that. Your ring on my finger...finally. It's a promise. I will finally promise myself to you. I mean, we could break up tomorrow and you can do almost nothing to me because we are just boyfriends. Although being boyfriends is a serious commitment, it's nothing compared to being engaged. A ring on my finger is a solid evidence that I already promised myself to you. That if I will marry, you are on the top of my list...
Qing: (scowling) There will be no list! What the hell are you talking about? My name will be the only one you will consider to marry, ever...
Me: (mollifying tone) Of course. The only name. But that will only happen if you propose to me and slip that ring on my finger.
I wriggle my left hand in front of his face. Enticing Qing to say yes to my ludicurious but intuitively right idea. It feels right, to go back to that meadow and for us to try that proposal scene one more time.
I think this time will be different. This time it will be right.
All I need to do to make that a reality is to convince Qing to give this proposing thing another try. And I can see in his eyes that I am getting into him. Swaying him...
Qing: (grudgingly grumpy) I will think about.
Me: (worried about that) Can't you just decide now?
Qing: No. Now can we sleep? I think I am not in the mood to read more of my book...
I let Qing's arm go so he can lay on the bed. I sighed and followed suit. I hugged him, put one leg across his thighs and rubbed my cheek on his shoulder again.
Me: This is not the fridge situation all over again, right? You making a decision to do this and wait for months before making it happen.
Qing: I think I have the rights to decide when I will propose...if I will...again. Why? If I said yes tonight, when do you plan to go back to that meadow?
Me: (wincing) Also tonight.
Qing pushed my arm and leg off him so he can move sideways to look at me. I copied his position. We stared at each other.
Qing: You are freaking serious. You will really fly us both together to Heilongjiang just to reenact that proposal.
Me: (nodding) I will even pay for our tickets. We don't need to pack too many things because we don't even need to notify anyone that I am going home with you. We could sneak there, get engaged in the memorable meadow and go back here as fiancés.
Qing: You are insane.
And he is close to saying yes. Just a little tiny nudge and Qing will agree to my insane idea.
Yes, I agree that this is insane but I really have a good feeling about this one.
So I decided to play my ultimate card.
Sex.
I pushed Qing to his back and climbed on top of him. I straddle his middle to shower sweet little kisses on his lips, chin and jaw. Those kisses moved down to his neck and Qing let out a long suffering sigh as he tilted his head to give me access to his skin.
Qing: I hate you. So damn much right now.
I stopped kissing his neck to look at his resigned expression. I smiled at him before planting a firm kiss on his unsmiling lips.
Me: (speaking against Qing's lips) I know. But you are crazy about my mouth. And I promise to swallow every drop.
After making that enticing promise I wriggled myself lower to set myself between Qing's legs. I slowly pulled the front of his sleep short down to expose his penis. Qing's brain might not be sure about all of my ideas but his dick is sure happy to be exposed to my eyes and mouth. It's already half hard and I still haven't done anything to it aside from peeling off its cover.
It's adorable. Qing's dick. Don't tell your Baba that I called his dick adorable, but I do love it. What's not to love? It's always happy to see me and it's grateful after I petted it. It's easy to please and very accomodating.
I was tempted to wave and say hello to Qing's dick. But instead I stuck my tongue out to lick it from base to the head. I ran my tongue slowly to its whole length.
Qing: (moaning) Shit. I really really hate you.
Oh his brain hates me alright...but not his cock. Mr.Stiffy is getting stiffier by the seconds of me licking it.
(Mr.Stiffy?!!!)
Don't tell Qing that as well.
But whatever. I think you can tell Qing anything now and he still won't listen. I have him under my spell. Especially as I put the entire head of his cock in my mouth and wet it liberally while swirling my tongue all around it. Qing moans turned louder and I felt a sudden pressure on my head when one of his hand found it and moved all over my hair.
I put my whole focus on Mr.Stiffy. It's completely hard now, in attention and agreeing to let me wet it. I wrapped a hand on the base of Qing's cock and slowly massage it up and down while still sucking and laving on the head. I tasted precum and lapped at it enthusiastically. I have to make this good for Qing.
My ring and a take two of Qing's proposal are depending on how good I will love Mr.Stiffy. It's a challenge and I am loving it.
This is fun.