I woke only a few hours after falling asleep—it couldn't be later than 2:00 A.M.—with a start, drenched in sweat and fist shoved in my mouth to stifle any possible noise. I'd long since learned how to wake silently from nightmares; the last thing I needed while away from the safety of the village and in the Bingo Book as a capturekillflee-on-sight assassin was to alert any possible ninja of my location while sleeping.
I removed my hand from my mouth, wincing at the bite marks. That was worse than usual. Because of returning to the village? Maybe. Slowing my breathing deliberately, I listened closely, trying to hear if I'd woken Kakashi. There was no movement or sound from his room down the hallway, and I relaxed minutely. It had been a while since I'd had such a violent nightmare.
My clothes were sticky with sweat, but I was unwilling to get up and go to the bathroom and make noise changing into the one spare pair of pants and shirt I had packed and risk waking Kakashi and facing his questions. Instead, I just lay on the sleeping mat, clammy and tense until I eventually drifted back asleep.
I woke only an hour or two later, the same fist shoved in my mouth, a scream caught and strangled in my throat. It was still too early for Kakashi to have gotten up, but when I sat up, the first thing I saw was a glass of water sat next to my sleeping mat.
I took it gratefully, wondering only briefly why I hadn't woken when Kakashi had come out (he was, I reminded myself, an incredibly skilled ninja), and drank half of it. My breathing calmed, parched throat quenched, trembling hands steadied. I fell asleep much more quickly, this time.
***
Kakashi, apparently, hummed while cooking.
I glared blearily at him before eyeing the bowl of steamed rice and the place of grilled fish that he set in front of me.
"Eat up. You'll need your strength for today." He commented as he handed me a pair of disposable chopsticks.
I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Kakashi shrugged. "It's been a while since we've trained, with everything going on and what not. But I think we're past the days where I have to warn you not to eat lest you throw up."
"Sure," I mumbled, not rising to his gentle taunt. "It's not like I'll have anything better to do as a genin."
Kakashi silently acknowledged my bitter grumbling and, despite my distasteful look, placed his hand on my head in what I figured was supposed to be an affectionate gesture of sorts. Or maybe it was just to make sure I was actually listening when he spoke. "I'm leaving for the war council now. Meet me at the base of Konohagakure mountain in four hours."
"Mm," I acknowledged, as I stuffed a decent amount of rice and fish in my mouth. It was surprisingly delicious for such a simple dish.
I set my chopsticks down as Kakashi closed the door, and contemplated what I would do for four hours. I could try to talk to Aisa again, now that he had calmed down from the shock of my return. He would certainly be more reasonable, now, right?
After washing the dishes and setting them in the drying rack, I gathered my jacket and left. I had no key to lock the door with, but I assumed that Kakashi would have other traps and seals and jutsus set to stop intruders.
Aisa, Kento, and Michiko would probably be doing some D-rank missions. I couldn't just go to the mission desk and ask to see what mission they were on; genin didn't have that kind of clearance. I would just have to find them the old fashioned way, tracking them down myself.
I didn't pull my hood up, knowing it would draw more attention than it would hide my identity. But I made sure to stick to busy streets, disappearing into crowds and slipping around corners; I didn't want to see any of my old teammates or classmates or sensei. I didn't feel ready.
Tracking down Aisa and his teammates had the added bonus of continuing to relearn Konoha and its new streets, the way the crowds moved, where people were at what time. It took longer than I thought it would—any meeting with Aisa would push the four hour time limit Kakashi had set for me (payback for all those times he had made us wait)—but I finally sensed Aisa, Kento, and Michiko, probably carrying out a D-rank mission of lugging lumber and clearing any remaining rubble.
Before I could turn the corner where I finally sensed my (not mine anymore) genin, Kento appeared in front of me. I paused, pulled back, considered simply forcing my way around him, then settled. He watched my movements with a clinical, detached expression, and a part of me thought he had actually caught every plan I'd briefly considered. He was incredibly different from the stupid, obnoxious little boy who was fresh out of the academy, but in these moments, more and more often, I could clearly spot the potential that had seen him to the top of his class.
Once he was sure I had chosen to wait, he spoke in mild tones. "We're in the middle of a mission, Cashile-san," he told me, the honorific rolling off his tongue seamlessly even though I knew he had to have deliberately chosen to use it instead of the familiar sensei. "It would be rather unprofessional to interrupt us over personal matters. If it's urgent, you can tell me and I'll relay it to my teammates. Otherwise, please leave us to complete our missions."
There was a dull pang of hurt in my chest that I ignored and pushed down, carefully considering my next move. I was thinking of ways to cajole Kento, to convince him to let me see Aisa, to sneak around him, or threaten him. Instead, I blurted out, "He really doesn't want to see me?"
"No, Cashile-san," he replies quietly, emotionlessly. "In fact, he wants to not see you."
I recoiled, and Kento's emotionless face did nothing to hide his eyes softening with something like pity. I pulled back even further at the sight, eyebrows lowering and lips lifting into a snarl. "Well, you can tell Aisa that when he's ready to stop being a child, I'll be waiting to talk like adults," I sneered condescendingly.
Any pity in Kento's eyes guttered out. "I'll relay your sentiments," he promised coldly, then turned on his heel and walked away. It took all my self-control to not reach out and beg him to not tell Aisa what I'd said like some academy kid caught up in petty friendship drama.
Instead, I straightened my shoulders and walked away like I was so good at doing.
***
By the time Kakashi arrived at the training grounds (nearly on time!) I had systematically demolished two training posts and was working on a third. He appraised the remains with mild surprised before simply commenting, "I see you got started without me."
My crescent kick came thundering down, snapping off a peg of wood sticking out from the main trunk of the training post. I turned and glared at him, rolling my shoulders in a smooth, pointed move, and sharply asked, "Well?"
He watched me for a long moment, considering, then clearly decides to leave it be. Smart man.
"You're among our top taijutsu users in the village." Kakashi nodded to the destroyed training post behind me. "And you're almost certainly one of the top stealth, infiltration, and assassination ninjas," Kakashi informed me. It was high praise coming from the creator of the famed assassination technique, Chidori.
"I could have told you that," I replied dryly.
"Your weakness has always been genjutsu," he continued, matter-of-fact. I resolutely ignored the spark of panic his words put into my heart—would he be putting me in a genjutsu today, with his sharingan, nearly inescapable even for someone who's not nearly as hopeless as me—and simply shifted my mouth unhappily, knowing he would read assent there.
"However," he pivoted, "today we're going to be working on your ninjutsu. When you were a genin—" I shoot him a look, reminding him of my new status, and he corrected, "When you were first a genin, your weakness was in genjutsu, and in taijutsu due to you mind knowing what had to be done and your body being unable to keep up. I think we can safely say the latter has been rectified. With the added element of ninjutsu, however, your attacks will be taken to the next level. Now, you've mastered sending your chakra down your blades and transforming it into lightning nature, correct?"
"Yes," I nodded. "It wasn't at its most efficient before I left, but over the last couple months..." I trail off, reading his unhappiness with the reminder of my desertion in the shift of his shoulders. I though back on my genin, and how I felt when they disobeyed, and how I would have felt if they'd deserted the village, and winced. "I've mastered it, yes," I finished lamely, flexing my fingers.
He took notice of the movement. "Have you tried any jutsu since your injury?" He asked, nodding toward my missing fingers.
I frowned, rubbing at the stumps with my thumb. "Yes. I make the hand signs as best I can, and it works, but I'm much less efficient with my chakra. It," I make some gesture, trying to illustrate the problem, "spills out more."
"Hm. We can work on that. Do you know any jutsu of another nature?" He asked.
"A few water ones. A very basic earth one, and it's much more difficult for me. I think I could pull off some of the fire ones I've seen if given the chances But no, really only lightning and water is it."
"Well," he grinned. "Lucky you have me as a teacher, then. Let's see if you can make a dent in the thousand jutsu I know."
***
By the end of the day, I truly felt like a genin again. Kakashi outclassed me in nearly every way when it came to ninjutsu, and he wasn't afraid to show it. I'd mastered the B-Class jutsu he'd shown me: Hand of the Thunder God, a technique that would increase my taijutsu by charging my hands and feet with lightning. It wouldn't outright kill someone unless I focused on increasing the charge, but it would cause a severe shock. I'd put the technique to good use in our fight at the end of training, shocking Kakashi and causing his hair to stand on end even more than usual. Despite that, he ended up winning with a water jutsu I suspected he'd stolen from the gate guards.
"Good work, today," Kakashi smiled from above me where I laid on the ground, still trying to catch me breath.
"You took up too much time," I complained. "It's too late to look for an apartment, now. It's past business hours."
"You didn't look this morning?"
Sitting up, I scowled guiltily at the reminder of what I'd done that morning and how I'd reacted. Still tired but not wanting to have this conversation on the ground, I clambered to my feet slowly. "I was busy with other priorities," I replied defensively. "I didn't know you were going to take up the whole day with training."
Kakashi smiled slightly, reached out, rested his hand on my head again. "Ah, well. We just got lost on the path of life and all that."
I scowled, knocking his hand off my head with no real force. "Don't try dragging me into your bad habits," I warned.
He put both his hands up, waving me down. "Sorry, sorry," he said. "Guess you'll just have to stay at my place, again. What do you want for dinner?"
I crossed my arms and glared to the side, refusing to meet his gaze, but grudgingly answered, "Okonomiyaki."
He smiled wider. "We'll stop somewhere on the way back," he told me, turning and leaving the training ground. "It's on me."
I hurried to catch up, falling in step beside him in the dying light. "'Course it's on you," I replied. "Genin salary, remember sensei?"
He groaned out loud. "Why do I have the feeling you're going to milk that for all it's worth?"
My laughter was answer enough, and he didn't seem genuinely upset in the slightest.
_______________________________
Hey everyone!
Sorry for the long long long wait between updates. My semester was packed full and even though I wasn't writing this, I was writing ALL THE TIME. Gonna be a doubly writing heavy semester this fall, too. Yay and also oh dear lord give me strength. Working on an essay collection now we'll see if I stick through it and how it comes together
Got through the semester despite all this pandemic stay-at-home stress. Hope everyone is doing alright and has been staying home and safe if they're able to. It's not just a bad flu, and you don't ever know how hard it's gonna hit anyone.
Again, sorry for the long wait. It's summer, and while writing this is, honestly, always my lowest priority, hopefully there will be more time to keep it up now.
Make sure to comment! Stay safe!
gaara119
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Ja ne!
Insomniac_Lullabies