Chapter Eight
"My dear, sweet girl, are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Mother." I lay back against the king's pillows as Cassius motioned for a young woman to pour hot water into a bowl near his bed.
Going all out, aren't you?
He soaked a towel in the water and dabbed my forehead with it.
"She gave us all quite a scare," he said, paying close attention to his task at hand.
"Um, yes she did. I'm just glad my daughter is alright," my mother said, watching as Cassius fawned over me. "And she seems to have very caring and skilled hands tending to her."
"She should be fine now. I think the traveling and coming to court may have been too much too soon."
"Go and enjoy the festivities, mother. I'm going to rest a bit more and then I shall be down." I glanced at Cassius.
"If that is alright with his majesty," mother said.
"Of course, my lady." Cassius bowed to my mother which caused her cheeks to turn as crimson as his bed curtains. "There is no reason for everyone to miss out on the fun. Please, drink and be merry."
What is he playing at?
I lay there feigning my sickness until mother and the servants had left the room. He stood next to me wiping my forehead, down my neck, and between my breasts.
"That's enough, Cassius." I sat up and pushed his hand away.
"What's wrong?"
"You know very well. My mother is going to be under the assumption that I am as smitten with you as you are with me." I shook my head, sliding off the bed.
He grasped my waist and pulled me into his lap. "Forgive your king. I may be developing feelings for you."
"I wish things could have been different for us." I smiled and stroked his cheek for a moment. "Alas, you and I are not to be. I am here to protect you and your future queen."
"Life isn't fair sometimes."
"It's not. We will always be in close contact without having contact."
"Be damned this assassin thing," he grumbled.
"It can never happen. They will kill me the moment they even suspect that we're in love." I stood and strode away, straightened my gown, and left the room.
My heart pounded as I walked back toward the great hall. My chest heaved as my legs felt weak.
You are being ridiculous, Joselyn. You cannot fall in love with your king. It's not done. Stop. You protect him and his queen. You are not his queen. A few stolen moments years ago when he visited the French court does not mean he's in love with you.
I paused outside the entrance to the grand room where music floated out. People laughed and talked gaily. Food was eaten, drink flowed, and the courtiers danced gaily. The normal life I was supposed to have. I leaned against the wall trying to catch my breath.
"Lady Joselyn? Are you alright?"
I looked up to see the kind, gentle eyes of Edward Thomas Moore. He was close in age to Cassius and me. Another childhood friend I had not seen since I'd left all those years ago. He had grown into a strong, handsome man. His black hair fell across his forehead and his piercing green eyes were full of kindness and worry.
"Edward! I'm sorry. Yes. I'm fine. It's just good to be home."
"I'll bet it is." A smile spread across his face as he offered his arm to me.
"Thank you, sir."
"Would you like to dance?" He motioned toward the spinning and twirling couples beyond the doors.
"Yes, please."
"I'd heard you had taken ill a bit ago. Are you sure you are feeling well enough to dance?" he asked. "Oh yes. I was just a bit faint. Too much excitement at the beginning I'm afraid."
He led me to the center of the great hall as the musicians started a new song. He twirled me about the others as the song echoed through off the walls. I watched as mother kept her eyes trained on us. She was not happy that I was in the arms of another man. As the song neared its end I spotted Cassius enter and take his seat. I wasn't entirely sure if he was amused, furious, or curious. He had to have been told the rules.
"Have you seen Cassius since your return?" Edward asked.
"Yes. He is the one who summoned me to court."
"Already? He must have wanted to really see you."
"I suppose," I muttered, placing my hand on his as the next song started. "It has been six months since I've been back already."
"Things didn't go as you expected?"
"Do they ever?" I asked.
"The king is looking for a wife."
"He'll probably want a wife that will help keep him in good political standings with other countries. What about you? Did you find a wife and settle down while I was away?" I inquired.
"Not yet, dear lady. There hasn't been anyone that has caught my attention enough to make me want to settle down," he replied.
"You seem to have them all captivated though."
"Oh? Why do you say that?"
"None of the women in the room have taken their eyes off you since we started dancing," I said.
"And none of the men have stopped watching you."
"I don't see anyone watching me except my mother," I said, smiling.
"I see differently. You have grown into quite a beautiful woman, Joselyn."
"Thank you, Edward."
"What do you plan on doing now that you're home?"
What do I plan on doing? Protecting our king. Making sure that whoever is out to kill him doesn't. What am I going to tell you? I don't know yet.
"Do what any woman my age does. Get married and attend parties of course."
Edward led me toward Cassius. My heart sped up again as I watched his intense eyes on me. I couldn't avoid him. It was only a matter of time before I'd have to move into the castle. I was his assassin. I'd have to continue to protect him. I'd be near him for the rest of our lives. How were we going to keep things between us casual when we were crazy about one another?
"Your majesty, how are you, my friend?" Edward asked, a smile spreading across his face.
"I am well and you?"
"Well enough. Has the Lady Joselyn been presented to you?"
"She has. When she arrived, I saw her." The king motioned to the seat next to him. "Please, dear Joselyn, sit and talk with me."
"Of course, your majesty. You will excuse me, Edward."
I sat beside Cassius, smiling as his page handed me a goblet of wine. I scanned the room, spotting my mother amongst the crowd. A few lords and barons stopped by to discuss business with the king and to welcome me home, but soon he waved them off. We were alone on his platform.
"Is everything alright?" I asked, keeping the smile in place so as not to alarm anyone.
"Why are you dancing with him?"
"He is a childhood friend. He's saying hello," I said.
"Would you marry him?"
"You know the answer to that."
"Will you die a maid?"
I nodded my head. "I suppose that is the plan."
"To never know love?"
"I didn't say that."
He looked at me puzzled.
"I may be an assassin, but I'm still a woman. There's no law about falling in love. It's about acting on that love and who the love is."
"Do you love me?"
"Cassius," I started, grasping his hand in mine. "You know how I feel. You have always meant the world to me, even when we were children. Things have changed though. I'm not that same girl. I could never be what you want me to be."
"I'll find a way."
"They'll kill me."
He stood shaking his head. "Absolutely not!"
I stared after him as he stormed away from me. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach.
What have I done now? What is he going to do? What am I in for?
"What is wrong with you?" Mother grabbed my arm as I merged into the crowd of lords and ladies.
"Nothing, Mother."
"Why is the king upset?"
"He's not upset," I mumbled. "He's fine. He's just emotional."
"He is completely smitten with you! Do not lose his affections. It will be very good for our family," she said, releasing my arm.
"Our family already has it good. Father is one of the wealthiest, most respected men in the country. Can't you be happy with that?" I asked, shaking my head at her.
"That's great but to have a daughter that is the queen? Do not screw things up with the king, Joselyn. Oh, and I don't like the way that Lord Moore looks at you. Stay away from him."
"I like Lord Moore. I will not stay away from him," I said, turning away from her.
"You will do as I say. I am your mother."
I sighed and rolled my eyes. "If only you knew who I was."
"What did you say?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.
"Nothing. Forget it. How much longer must I endure this before we can go home?"
"I want you to find the king and apologize for whatever you did to offend him."
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"Very."
I pursed my lips into a thin line and closed my eyes. If it would get me out of the castle and away from the court, I'd do it. I spun on my heels and marched out of the banquet hall.