Josh held it together long enough to drive home but by the time he was walking up to his front door, his hands were shaking so bad he could barely get the door open.
Once he was inside, he shut the door and began making his way to his room.
"Hey, honey. How was the game?"
Josh heard his mom ask him the question from where she sat on the couch but he couldn't bring his body to respond. He was too in shock.
He just went to his room and shut the door before laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling.
"What the fuck?" He whispered to himself.
He was done crying, well over Tyler being a dick to him anyway. Now, he was just more stunned and was trying to process it.
There was a quiet knock on his door. "Josh? Honey? Do you want to talk?"
Josh recognized his mom's voice and knew that if he didn't say anything she'd continue to worry about him.
"Yeah," he forced himself to speak. "I'm just tired. Can I be alone right now?"
"Of course," his mom paused. "I love you."
"I love you too."
He waited to hear her footsteps walk away before letting out a breath, trying to calm himself.
As Josh laid there, he tried analyzing everything. He felt lied to and betrayed by both Tyler and Jenna but he tried not to focus on that.
Everything slowly dawned on Josh and if he had been actively looking for the signs they would have all been there. Well, with Tyler anyway.
Josh wasn't stupid. He figured Tyler was a vampire based off of his Halloween "costume" but he didn't think vampires existed. That was impossible. Well, apparently not.
But he felt stupid. He felt like he got used and played. Is that why befriended him? Because he's weak and friendless and they just wanted to manipulate him for their own personal gain?
Josh has been putting himself in danger since day one without even knowing it and that terrified him.
He apparently wasn't done crying because tears sprung to his eyes when he thought about the possibility of Tyler using him to get whatever it was that he wanted. Tyler didn't actually like him. Josh had let himself get played.
The more he thought about it, the more things made sense. Halloween wasn't a costume. Last Monday was the blood drive. Dinner at Jenna's house was... oh god.
Josh's stomach twisted and he felt like he was going to throw up. His boyfriend. That's who he's dating.
Josh spotted the glass of water on his nightstand from the night before and although it tasted stale, it kept his stomach calm.
Josh kicked his shoes off and changed into sweats. He grabbed his laptop and went to Netflix. He didn't need to think about this anymore. He was going to make himself sick.
So he put on a movie and watched multiple until he exhausted himself. He finally fell asleep at around one in the morning but he didn't feel well as he fell asleep. Not at all.
---
Josh woke up the next morning to knocking on his door.
He figured there were three other people in his house that could get it so he tried to fall back asleep the best he could. He was exhausted.
The knocking began again and Josh let out a groan. "Jordan! Get the door!"
There was no response so Josh let out a groan and got out of bed. The events of last night were forgotten as he was half asleep so he grabbed his phone and stumbled out of bed.
First he made his way to the kitchen. No parents. Then, he noticed a note on the fridge.
Your mother and I went to the grocery store and Jordan is with Rylee. Text us if you need anything
Josh jumped slightly when there was another knock on the door. He sighed and trudged over.
With his hand on the knob, he checked the time on his phone. However, he also saw he had five missed calls from Tyler and 20 texts as he opened the door.
Everything from last night came back to him as he looked up and saw Tyler standing on his doorstep, wringing his hands anxiously. "Hi," he spoke softly.
Josh let out a scoff and leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. He noticed the snow on the ground outside. That must've happened last night.
"I thought you wanted me to leave you the fuck alone?" He shot back.
Tyler let out a sigh and Josh's heart softened when he saw the sad and guilty look on his face. "Can we talk?"
Josh nodded and let him in. "Yeah. We can go to my room."
The two awkwardly and quietly made their way towards Josh's room. He left the door open as they walked in, though. In case something happened.
On top of that, when Tyler sat down, Josh sat down on the opposite side of the bed and as far as he could. "You don't have to sit that far away. I'm not going to hurt you."
Josh pulled his blanket around him. "I don't trust you."
That simple statement seemed to break Tyler's heart because Josh saw the sadness in his eyes. "Josh—"
"No. You and Jenna lied to me and kept whatever the fuck is going on a secret. I don't trust you. You obviously didn't trust me enough to tell me."
Tyler let out a frustrated sigh. "Josh. This isn't just a little secret that I can tell people. You weren't supposed to find out," he explained. "I didn't want you thinking I was a monster," he added quietly, looking down at the ground.
Josh's demeanor changed when he saw just how broken and vulnerable Tyler looked. He moved over and set a hand on Tyler's thigh. The mentioned looked up and still had that guilty expression on his face. "I need you to talk to me."
"I'm really sorry," Tyler's lip wobbled slightly. "I'm sorry for lying and I'm sorry you had to see me like that last night and I'm sorry for losing your trust."
Josh didn't say anything at first but he grabbed Tyler's hand. "You need to explain everything to me if you want me to understand," he spoke softly.
"I'm sure you figured it out. I'm a vampire," he swallowed. "Which sounds really fucking stupid when I say it out loud but I guess I've also never confessed that to anyone before.
"It happened in May. After a party. I was walking home since I had had like a drink and I was just going to go back and get my car in the morning since I didn't live too far from the guy hosting it. It was an end of the school year party too so it was nicer out.
"I don't really want to get into it all that much but basically I went into the woods and that um, that's when it happened," he swallowed and Josh could feel his hand shaking even though Josh was holding it tightly. "And I don't really remember much because we can do this things that helps us feed. It's sort of like... mesmerizing someone into doing anything you want," he looked up at Josh. "I've never done that with you. In case you were wondering," he spoke honestly.
"Thank you," Josh replied sincerely.
Tyler nodded. "But when we do it, the person we use it on doesn't remember much. I just remember waking up and I was really sick for a few days. And then it happened. Like... I turned completely. Jenna's actually the one who found me after the guy who turned me left. She took me back to her house and her parents helped me."
"Is Jenna...?" Josh trailed off, not wanting to say it.
"Like me? Yeah. My parents don't know. Jenna's do. That's why Mrs. Black is always checking up on me."
"What happened with Jenna?"
"It was after one of the first games her freshman year. She's been a cheerleader since then. She went to hang out with a group of older girls from the team and guys on the football team. They were at one of their houses and started drinking and smoking weed. Jenna knew she didn't want to surround herself with that environment. The only sober people refused to drive her home so she walked. She didn't ask her mom because she thought she would be mad at her for hanging out with those type of people anyway."
"So what happened?"
"It was on her way home. She got pulled into an alleyway and it was some dude who did it. Probably the same guy who did it to me. He tried flirting with her and she kicked him in the crotch. She doesn't remember much after that but she woke up in the same alleyway a few hours later. The same thing happened to her. She got sick and then she transitioned. Her mom didn't find out until April so she had to go a really long time trying to figure things out by herself."
Josh took all that in, trying to absorb it. He let go of Tyler's hand in favor of setting his head in both of his own hands. This had to be a joke. It didn't make sense.
"So..." Josh took a breath. "So are you just going to look 17 forever?"
Tyler shook his head. "No. Jenna doesn't look the same as she did freshman year. We'll continue to age normally until like our early thirties or something like that. That's how Jenna explained it to me. I had a lot of questions when I woke up. She doesn't have all the answers but she had to figure a lot of things out on her own and she's been like this for four years."
Josh was still sitting with his head in his hands. He swallowed. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"Have you ever... killed anyone?"
Tyler instantly pulled Josh's hands off of him and held them while looking him in the eye. "No," he spoke truthfully. Josh could tell he wasn't lying. "I only feed off of people like once a month too. I also have to feed one to two times a week but every other time is from an animal. I have to kill those but that's better than people as much as I hate doing it. Jenna's dad's a doctor so like... if there's an emergency... he can get... y'know... but that's only in dire emergencies."
Josh continued to take that all in. "Can you show me?"
"Show what?"
"What you look like when you're... y'know..."
Tyler took a deep breath and held on to Josh's hand tightly. "Will it scare you?"
"I don't think so. I saw you briefly last night."
Josh watched as Tyler opened his mouth and his canines grew into razor sharp fangs. His eyes had been closed but when he opened them back up they were bright red. Josh noticed they were full of worry and anxiety too.
Josh brought his other hand up and rested it on Tyler's cheek. He noticed Tyler flinched slightly. He was scared. It wasn't Josh. It was Tyler who was scared.
It was that exact moment that Josh knew Tyler wasn't going to hurt him or use him. He was trying his best to navigate life like this. He wasn't a monster. He was just trying to survive.
"I don't care," Josh told him. "I don't care that you're like this."
"What?" Tyler asked, confusion evident as his features went back to how they usually looked.
"Obviously this isn't... normal... and it's something that I have to get used to but you aren't a bad person. I still stand by that. Last night I think you just got scared and that's why you acted the way you did."
Tyler's eyes filled with tears. "This makes me feel so shitty all the time. That's why I was relieved when you said you liked me back. I didn't feel like a freak. You make me so happy, Josh. That's why when you tell me I'm not a bad person it means more than it should. I have to use people to survive. But I promise I'll never use you. I want you to be able to trust me again."
"No more secrets," Josh decided. "I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me. I don't think there's anything bigger than you being dead so we should be good."
Tyler let out a sad laugh. "Thank you," he sniffled. "Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise everything else from here on out will be totally honest. I think me, you, and Jenna should all talk though. We can answer any more questions you have."
"I'd like that."
Tyler let out a breath. "This feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders," he told Josh in a tight voice. Josh realized he was full on crying this time. Josh's heart broke. "This isn't something I wanted or chose but I happened and I'm just trying to be happy. It's hard. Really hard. But thank you for not leaving me.
"I promise you won't get wrapped up in this either. I promised Jenna and her mom and I'll promise you. You won't end up like us. I'll live for a long time that's why I haven't been so excited about looking at colleges. You're gonna leave this sketchy ass town and go to Ohio State just like you told me. Everything's going to work out for you like it should."
Josh didn't say anything as he pulled Tyler in for a hug. That had been his plan. To go back to Ohio. He wasn't so sure that's what he wanted anymore.
But he didn't tell Tyler that.