Chapter Six:
“Hey, sorry it took me so long. The line was crazy in there.”
My eyes widened when I saw Ben in front of me and whirled around to try and figure out who was just behind me. I couldn’t see anyone in the crowd; all I could see was a pair of stumbling girls making their way to the bathroom and more couples grinding against each other like bloodthirsty animals. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m drunk and I can’t think straight but I know someone was just behind me because I could feel the small hickey I had just received burning endlessly on my neck.
“Are you okay?” Ben asked.
I don’t know if I was okay. Partly because me, and whoever the person dancing behind me was, were dancing so perfectly it was almost like Cinderella except he didn’t leave anything behind. Ben wasn’t as good as a dancer as that person so I should have pieced two and two together when it was happening but my mind wasn’t in the right state right now.
“Someone was just dancing with me.” I said in disbelief. “I uh, thought it was you but it wasn’t.”
Ben looked behind me to try and see if he could see anyone but he looked back at me instead and just kind of stared at me as if I were insane. I assume he thinks I’m drunk or something, which I am, but I’m not drunk enough to imagine something like that. I know someone’s hands were just on me a couple of seconds ago.
“Let’s go sit down for a second.” He muttered and grabbed onto my hand so he could lead me off of the dance floor.
“Ben I’m not crazy.” I said once we were back at our booth. “I swear I’m not.”
As I stumbled into the booth after Ben I noticed Katherine staring at me with a smug look on her face. I don’t know if it’s because I’m drunk or if it’s because I’m with Ben but I assumed she was ready to go by her expression.
“What?” I asked when she continued to smile at me.
“Oh nothing…” She trailed off, examining her fingertips. “I’ll tell you in the morning.”
“Tell me what?”
My head was overwhelmed with thoughts that couldn’t form from the alcohol I had consumed and at this point I was starting to get nauseous from everything that just happened. I think I’ve reached my last straw for the night.
“That you were dancing with Justin.”
As soon as I heard her I didn’t believe a word she just said until I started to remember from a couple of seconds ago out on that dance floor. The way his hands felt against my body, the way he left a mark where he knew was my weakest. Was he really here? In New York City?
“Ben I swear I didn’t know.” Was the only thing I could think of to say. When I looked over to him to see his reaction his jaw was clenched and he just let out a sigh of frustration. I didn’t want to hurt him so I’m hoping he would understand that I truly didn’t know. I mean, he saw how confused I was. If I had known it was Justin I would have stopped dancing with him immediately.
I think.
“He’s staring at us.” He said lowly, his tone of voice beyond infuriated. “Two booths over on the right.”
I brought my eyes up to scan the different tables but it wasn’t hard to find him because I’d know his eyes anywhere. He was seated with two boys I’ve never seen before, along with two strippers it seemed like but the strippers weren’t with him, they were with the boys. His arms were wrapped around the booth and he was shirtless, his eyes finding mine almost immediately. When they did I lost my breath for a good five seconds from how grown up he looked even though it’s only been a year. The way he kept licking his lips was driving me insane and the way he casually brushed his jawline and raised his eyebrows at me when I kept staring made me want to attack him. Not out of anger but out of lust. I think that’s just the alcohol talking though.
I think.
“He is so unbelievable.” I finally managed to say and tore my gaze away from him. “He literally just danced with me and didn’t even bother to ask if it was okay. I can’t stand him.”
“Do you want me to go talk to him?”
When Ben said that the answer that came to mind was no. I did not want Ben to go talk to him because I know exactly how that would end up. It would end up in a fight and that’s something I didn’t need because I didn’t want Ben to get hurt. But one thing I do know is that I have a lot of things to say to him that I never got to when I left that day and this was the perfect opportunity so rising to my feet, I stumbled once more from being so drunk and waved Ben off when he tried to stand too.
“Don’t worry.” I soothed. “I got this.”
My boots were not meeting the floor the way I thought they would. I wanted to walk over sexy and tall and look like I’m the best thing he never had but that didn’t exactly happen because I stumbled once more and gripped onto the table of their booth, Justin’s tongue going against the side of his cheek to keep from laughing. I used to like that and it used to turn me on and it kind of still does but once again, I think that’s just the alcohol.
“I-I hate you.” I sneered, slurring more than I intended to. “You son of a bitch.”
The almost smile that was once on his face disappeared and his friends gave me a confused glance as well. I don’t know who they are or what they mean to Justin but they certainly looked shocked. I’m not thinking straight and I have no idea what’s even spilling out of my mouth. I’m trying to say things that will make me less attracted to him right now but what my body was telling me to do was straddle him and pull on his chains so our lips could finally be on each other’s.
“I know I hurt you Sophia and I’m sorry but you never gave me a chance to explain why I-“
“Explain what?!” I yelled even though nobody could hear me except him from the music. “Explain that you cheated and never decided to tell me? Explain why you ruined our marriage? You’re sick Justin. You’re a sick human being.”
“Coming from the girl who spread her legs so easily for Jace and lied to me about that for god knows how long.” He spat back.
As soon as the mention of Jace came up he knew he had just destroyed any possible chance he had at fixing things. I’ve tried for so long to forget about that night but as soon as his name came up the memories began to slam into my head and the tears immediately brimmed into my eyes. I couldn’t even look at this man sitting in front of me because of how much he hurt me. The thing that’s hurting me the most is that I still love him and always will.
“Sophia…” He trailed off, trying to reach for my hand that I instantly took back. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-“
“Fuck you.” I said.
Turning around as fast as I could, I brushed past Ben even when he tried to stop me and headed for the hallway I had once seen when we first were in here. The one where the two drunken girls went in. I think it was where they kept the bathrooms and when I was finally in the hallway I breathed a sigh of relief when the music lessened slightly, giving me more room to think.
If I had known Justin would have been in this club tonight I never would have come for this exact reason. No human being has ever had this much control over my emotions before and it doesn’t even matter that I’m drunk. Sure, I’m more apt to cry when I’ve had alcohol, but he makes me feel things that I’ve never felt before and he drives me insane. Almost to the point of mental insanity.
I wish I could sober up and I wish I could recollect my thoughts so I could say something that would really hurt Justin but nothing would come to mind. I just wanted him to leave me alone and let this divorce carry out the way it’s supposed to. I wanted him to just keep to himself while I kept to myself until we didn’t think about each other anymore but that’s not possible because we aren’t just the average couple. He’s one of the biggest popstars in the world, if not the biggest, and I will always be reminded of him no matter where I go. Whether that be his face plastered on a napkin set or his music on the radio, or his laugh on an interview, he’ll always be there. That killed me.
Just then, Justin rounded the corner of the hallway and raced over to me, almost as if he cared about me. I knew deep down he really did care but when he stood in front of me I didn’t want something to happen that we’d both regret in the morning. I don’t know how much he’s had to drink but I think he knows I’ve had too much to drink. Nothing was making sense right now.
I wanted to cry even more when he went to bring his thumb up to my cheek so he could wipe away my tears but quickly retracted it because we weren’t like that anymore. I’m guessing he thought I would push him away but knowing me, I probably wouldn’t. I probably would let it happen because it’s what I wanted right now and I know that’s not right. I should want to be with Ben but I didn’t. What I wanted was him right now.
“Sophia I’m sorry.” He said breathlessly. “If I could take what I just said back I would.”
“That’s the damn problem with you!” I screamed. “You do and say things without thinking and then when the consequences hit you it just makes you remorseful but only for the time being. Then this happens and you’ll apologize and then five god damn months later you’ll mess up again and the cycle repeats itself. I’m done with the cycle Justin. I’m done.”
“One last time.” He whispered, his body moving closer to mine so our faces were only inches apart. I could hardly breathe from how close we were. I could smell his cologne and a hint of his sweat, most likely from tonight’s show. “Give me one last chance to prove myself Sophia. I swear to god I won’t let you down.”
“But what if you do?” I choked out. “Justin I don’t want you here, okay? This is too much. I’m drunk beyond belief, you probably are too, and I can’t even think straight. But right now what I’m wanting is for you to just go. I don’t want you here.”
“Then why are you crying?” He whispered. “You know I can’t stand it when you cry.”
His thumb gently brushed underneath my eye to collect the tears and just like I thought the first time, I didn’t push him away. Instead I looked at him in fear and uncertainty. Is this what I’m going to do for the rest of my life? Just let him do horrible things to me and let him come back into my life so simply? I needed to stand up for myself.
“Go away!” I cried, finally getting the strength to push his hand away. “Dammit Justin, just go away.”
“No.” He shot back. “I’m not going away because I’m not giving up on us. I know what I did was screwed up Sophia and I know I probably ruined a lot of trust that you had for me but we were married. We were married and you signed the papers. You really could give us up so easily?”
“Give us up so easily?!” I couldn’t even think straight because I was so angry with him right now. “Are you even hearing yourself? Why the hell do you think I gave up so easily? You cheated Justin and you’re right we were married. So why the hell did you sleep with someone else?”
“Because I’m an idiot!” He yelled. “I’m an idiot Sophia and I made a mistake. I’m willing to prove myself every day to you just give me one more chance.”
His eyes were scanning mine to see if he could search for an answer but when I went to move away from him he roughly pressed his lips against mine.
At first I didn’t know what to do. It’s everything I’ve been wanting and more and that connection we’ve always had sparked uncontrollably in my stomach and what I really want to do was pull him closer but the small part of my mind that wasn’t intoxicated told me to push him away so I did exactly that. I pushed him with all of my force but it was no use because he grabbed my fists and pinned them against the wall, his tongue finally colliding with mine.
The worst thing about this though was that I didn’t want it to stop. I don’t know if I’m just intoxicated right now, and I don’t know if tomorrow I’ll change my mind, but what I wanted was him in this exact moment. It pained me when he pulled away but relieved my fears when he whispered the words I’ve wanted to hear for so long.
“You are the most difficult human being on this entire earth Sophia but you are the only girl I will ever love.”
A/N:
OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS SO HOT HOLY FRICK.
I'M STILL TRYING TO RE-COVER FROM WRITING IT.
DO YOU THINK I WROTE IT GOOD ENOUGH? LIKE WAS IT GOOD?
OKAY UM ON ANOTHER NOTE...
OH MY GOD AND IF YOU GUYS DIDN'T SEE JUSTIN'S INSTAGRAM POST GO LOOK CAUSE I ALMOST DIED.
HE UPLOADED "UR THE BEST SOPH" UM?? SOPH?? WHERE R MY OVARIES??
I HOPE THEY GET TOGETHER BC JOPHIA WILL ACTUALLY BECOME A THING AND MY FANFICTION WILL BECOME A REALITY OMG YAAAAAS.
PLEASE COMMENT AND LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OMG OMG I HOPE YOU LIKED IT :)
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