One Hundred Shades of Forever.

Chapter Thirteen.

Chapter Thirteen:

 Justin’s Point Of View.

             I woke up in the dark, sweating and out of the breath. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and as I reached out for Sophia she wasn’t there. My mind wasn’t working right, everything was a blur. She left me just like I had feared when we went to bed. She said she wasn’t mad but I knew she was upset and I should have done something more to get her to stay. I should have done something.

             I am such a fucking idiot. Oh my god I lost her for the second time. I seriously can’t fucking breathe.

            The tears were flooding out of my eyes and there was nothing I could do to stop them. My chest felt like it was caving in, my lungs squeezing together so tightly no air could flow through them. I needed a pill.

            Before I knew what I was doing next, the bathroom door opened and a tired Sophia came into the room. She stopped what she was doing when she heard my sobs and ran over to where I was, climbing up onto the comforter next to me so she could figure out what was wrong. I didn’t even think about the bathroom. The only thing that registered with me at the time was that she wasn’t in bed next to me. I feel so stupid right now.

            “Justin.” Sophia said worriedly, grasping onto my cheeks. “Oh my god what’s going on?”

            I still couldn’t breathe. I was gasping for air practically before I got up and went into the bathroom to get a pill. Sophia didn’t waste any time before she was right on my heels and followed me in here, watching me as I opened up the cabinet and searched around for what I was looking for. My tears were streaming down my cheeks and no matter how much I wanted to calm down and wanted to stop I couldn’t. That’s the thing about anxiety.

            “Babe what are those?!” She shouted. “Don’t do this!”

            Grabbing the prescription out of my hand, she read the label of it until it finally registered with her that they were for anxiety. I didn’t want her to find out this way but nothing was making sense right now.

            “I-I need one!” I screamed. “P-Please give me one.”

            Her fingers quickly fumbled with the lid and she passed one over to me, completely at a loss for words right now. I don’t know if she’s upset with me or disappointed in me for the second time tonight but by her just standing here and being here was making me feel better already. To have someone around me to make sure I didn’t die or something was comforting.

            My back slid down the wall after I took it, a loud sigh coming out of me. It was only a matter of time before it kicked in, probably in twenty minutes I’d be knocked out. The anxiety attacks only happened at night so the doctor thought it’d be best to prescribe me with a night medication, something I was unsure of until I actually took one and realized how well it actually worked.

            I hadn’t noticed until now, but Sophia was crying as she sunk down beside me and opened up my legs like she used to so she could sit on my lap. My arms came around her waist and I just closed my eyes, waiting for this feeling to finally go away.

            “I didn’t know baby.” She whispered, my heart practically exploding from the nickname. “You’re gonna be okay Justin. I promise.”

            Her forehead pressed against mine before she gave me a kiss on my cheek, making my breathing slow down as I looked into her eyes. She was unsure if what she did just helped but I pressed my lips against hers to let her know I needed her. I can only hope she understood.