One Hundred Shades of Forever.

Chapter Fifty.

Chapter Fifty. 

June 17th, 2015.

            The flashing of the lights whirled in my head all at once it was like a rainbow, except the only colors were red and blue when I got there. Nothing was coherent to me when I burst through the doors of the emergency room and my palms were sweaty and my heart was racing and it was all because it was reminding me far too much of two years ago. It was all like a repeat of the same nightmare I had lived once before that to this day still haunted me and when I went up to the front desk and asked where she was she told me she was moved to ICU.

            I was shaking and I was trying not to cry as I raced toward the elevators. If only I had not gone to that meeting and if only I hadn’t been so busy with my music lately then maybe I would have seen this coming. Maybe I could have stopped it and maybe I could have prevented this but when the doors opened and my mom and dad were sitting in the waiting room I knew this wasn’t a repeat because their reaction wasn’t what I expected.

            “Where is she?” I practically gasped, standing there motionless in my suit. “What happened?”

            “Justin it’s okay.” She soothed, immediately rising from her chair. “Come sit down for a second. You can’t go and see her yet.”

            But I couldn’t because I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The phone call that I got from the hospital was still echoing throughout my head but I couldn’t remember much because I practically dropped the phone when I heard her name and got here as fast as I could. Was the baby okay? Was she okay?

            “Justin.” She repeated. “Everything will be okay.”

            I finally allowed myself to sit in-between them but I was still breathing heavily, my suit all wrinkled and my hair a complete disaster as I glanced towards the receptionist at the front desk who obviously recognized me because she wouldn’t stop staring. God, I just want to be left alone right now.

            “Sophia went in early sweetie and she’s in surgery right now as we speak.”

            “Again?”

            My throat felt like it was closing and the only thing I could think of right now was how scared she must have been to have to go through that alone. How petrified and how scarring that must have been I didn’t even want to picture it and I couldn’t help but feel the tears burn into the back of my eyes because that box with Isabelle lying still inside of it wouldn’t leave my memory. If this happens for the second time I won’t be able to take it.

            “I-I can’t do this. Mom I need to see her. I need to be with her.”

            Standing to my feet, I went directly up to the receptionist and was about to beg and plead for her to let me in but a nurse pushed directly through the doors in a rush, his hands covered in blood and his eyes looking around the room frantically.

            “The father.” He said. “Is he here yet?”

            “Yeah I’m uh, I’m here. Are they okay?”

            I kept staring at the blood on his hands and I felt my heart plummet directly into my stomach. This is not how it’s supposed to end and deep down I know that God would not to this to me or us twice. Once was enough so this one has to work out. This time there shouldn’t be tragedy.