One Hundred Shades of Forever.

Chapter Fourteen.

Chapter Fourteen:

            The morning came too soon and as the bright light bounced off of the walls from it pouring in through the window, I squinted my eyes only to see what I’ve been missing for so long.

         Her.

            She was sitting up in bed like she usually would every morning to wait for me to wake up, which was unusual because I almost always woke up before she did, and she was scrolling through her phone. It was just the way she looked so focused that made me want to keep staring at her. The way she squinted ever so often to try and read a word or when she brought her thumbnail to her lip most likely from a hate comment from one of my fans about how she looked. It just continues to blow my mind how she doesn’t see how truly beautiful she is in my eyes but then again I come back to the mistake I made and wonder how she ever would feel beautiful again when I cheated on her with someone else. Any ounce of self-esteem she had left probably went right out the door and it was all because of me.

            Ignoring the thoughts running wild through my head, I moved over so I could be next to her and placed a kiss on her shoulder, my arm wrapping around her waist to try and somehow explain to her how beautiful she was through my actions. I didn’t want to think about this being our last day together before I left for the tour. I never liked goodbyes and this one was coming way too soon because we’re just starting to get to know each other again and get back to ourselves. Being apart isn’t going to help us at all and I know that I said I would fly her out every chance I got but let’s be honest here, her schedule is going to conflict with mine so much it’s going to be almost impossible. She has a job now, she works. I’m not going to take that away from her because I know how much she loves to be independent.

            “I missed waking up to you.” I muttered into her skin. “You look beautiful baby.”

            She just smiled and tilted her phone around only for me to look at a picture of me sleeping. I remember when I had posted one of her last year. I guess this was some sort of payback but in all honesty I hated the way I looked. The way my eyebrows were too bushy and the way I had some acne on my forehead made me cringe. I don’t understand how any teenage girl would fantasize about me or actually want to be with me but my insecurities usually stayed inside. I don’t typically tell people about them.

            “I thought it was a good idea at first…” She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh before she started to scroll down through the comments and recite them. “You don’t deserve Justin you fat ugly whore. When will you guys just break it up for good already? Don’t steal my juju!”

            “What the hell does juju even mean?” I questioned. “I don’t like that nickname. It sounds like I’m two.”

            The comments she kept repeating made me upset. More than upset. I understand that my fans want the best for me but what they need to realize is at the end of the day it’s my life and I’m going to be with the person I want to be with. If this ends up badly again then that’ll be my mistake and I can only hope they’ll support me and help me through it like they did the last time. I’m just a human that’s going to continue to make mistakes just like any other person. Just because I’m a celebrity and I’m more put out there than others doesn’t mean that I have to be perfect. I just wish some of them had a little more respect for the people that I loved.

            “I don’t like it either.” She laughed. “I just hate reading comments on instagram. People are so mean, you know?”

            I grabbed the phone gently out of her hand and slid the power button off before I tossed it onto the other side of the bed and began to kiss her chest.