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the human body is a highly pressurized system. the blood pressure measures the force of blood pulsating through the arteries. it's important to keep this pressure regulated. low or inadequate pressure can cause weakness or failure.
- - -
"hey, dad," lia smiles, entering the kitchen of her childhood home, where richard is putting something back into the fridge.
"oh, hey, darlin'," he smiles, wrapping her into a hug. "how was sabie?"
"she's good," lia nods. "i thought you would be at the hospital by now- i mainly came to see mom. how is she?"
"she has her good days and her bad," richard admits, but lia isn't convinced, so she just nods. "and you're right; i should be at the hospital, so i better get going."
richard gives his daughter a kiss on the cheek before exiting the kitchen. as he does, lia notices a post-it fall to the ground. she walks over to the doorway and kneels down to pick it up. when she turns it over she sees it reads, 'this is richard. he is your husband'.
lia shoves the post-it in her pocket, then investigates in the kitchen where she finds other notes littered about. she sighs, screwing her eyes shut as she thinks of her childhood, and how she is slowly losing her mother.
she then heads to the living room where her mother is sat in front of the television, barely taking notice of what is on.
"hi, mom," she smiles, taking a seat next to adele, who's eyes remain fixed on the tv. "how are you? i've missed you so much... are you hungry?"
"what's you're name?" adele asks with an innocent smile as she turns to face her, and lia can practically feel her heart breaking. "i'm adele."
"alivia," she softly smiles, biting the inside of her cheek prevent herself from crying.
"that's a beautiful name," adele tells her. "my daughter's called alivia. it was her third birthday last week."
lia then stands up, and leaves the house. once she is outside, she leans back into the front door and begins to sob.
■ ■ ■
"hey, i thought you were coming back to work tomorrow?" jackson raises his brow, when he sees lia walking through the corridors of seattle grace mercy west.
"hi, lia, did you have a good time being shipped out of state? i really missed you. it's so good to see you," lia mocks, rolling her eyes at jackson, and continuing on her path.
"look, i'm sorry," jackson says, following his girlfriend who continues to ignore him. "i can explain, we just need to talk. can't we just talk?"
when lia doesn't respond, he grabs her wrist, stopping her in her tracks and spinning her round to face him.
"yes, jackson, we can talk," lia snaps, before softening her voice. "just not now, i've got to speak to derek. i'll talk to you at home."
she shakes her arm from jackson's grip and continues walking to derek's office, leaving jackson stood with his brow furrowed.
when she reaches his office, she finds him sat with meredith and both of their heads snap up to look at her when she enters.
"lia," derek smiles. "i didn't think you were back in work til tomorrow."
"i'm not," she shakes her head. "i'm here to see you."
"well i am honoured," he chuckles.
"what are you guys doing?" lia asks, noticing their trial paperwork spread across the table.
"mr. beckert, one of our trial patients, lied to us about a head condition so we've had to remove him from the trial," meredith explains. "we're looking for a replacement."
"what about my mom?" lia asks, hopefully. "that's actually why i came to see you..."
"lia, you know i want to, but she's just not far enough along," derek reminds her. "her disease has not progressed enough for her to be eligible for this trial. you know that."
"this fell off my dad's sweater this morning," lia says, pulling the post-it out of her pocket and placing it on the table in front of them. "and when i went to visit her... she didn't recognise me."
■ ■ ■
"overall, adele scored a twenty three, which is a marked decline from the last time we tested her, which was twenty seven," derek explains to lia and richard, following the results of the tests adele had been brought in for.
"mm-hmm," lia nods.
"so she's definitely a lot worse than we thought," meredith sighs.
"well, the upside is, she gets in the trial. but she's declining so fast," derek adds.
"i know," lia frowns, biting her lip.
"why can't we just give her the medicine on the side outside of the trial? who would know?" richard asks.
"no," derek shakes his head in protest. "the f.d.a is gonna be on us harder than ever. anything we do that taints the results could ruin the trial, and not to mention our careers along with it. don't think i haven't thought about it."
"let's just hope she gets the active drug," lia smiles, attempting to reassure her father.
- - -
it's when the pressure gets too high that problems really occur. if the pressure continues to increase, a closer examination is called for. because it's the best indicator that something is going terribly wrong. every pressurized system needs a relief valve.
- - -
"do you know what time she's going for surgery?" lia asks richard, as she approaches her mother's patient bed.
"richard, who is this?" adele raises her brow at alivia. "and where's alivia? is she in day care? who's taking care of our baby?"
"i, um, i'm not sure yet, alivia," richard softly informs her.
"dad, i'm sorry, but i can't stay here when she doesn't know i'm me," she tells him, fighting back the tears.
"go home," he says, squeezing her arm. "she'll be fine. i'll call you, and you can see her tomorrow."
lia nods before walking away, leaving richard to fuss over adele.
"meredith, make him stop fussing over me," adele rolls her eyes.
"so she's going into surgery right after the m.r.i, so don't worry," meredith explains, before beginning to walk away.
"uh, meredith," richard says causing her to stop, before walking over to her, where adele is out of earshot. "i want to thank you for everything you've done."
"i didn't really do anything," meredith shrugs. "the circumstances changed."
"you did. you caught it first. and the minute you did, you looked after her. you did everything you could to take care of her," richard reminds her. "i've made a lot of mistakes, and it's taken me a lot of years to finally realize that all i want to do is be with her. you've given us the best chance that we could get. you've done everything."
- - -
there has to be a way to reduce the stress, the tension, before it becomes too much to bare. there has to be a way to find relief because if the pressure doesn't find a way out, it will make one. it will explode.
- - -
"jackson?" lia calls, as she enters the currently quiet house. "jackson?"
"in here," his voice echoes from his bedroom. lia heads to the room where she finds him sat on his bed.
"look," they both say at the same time.
"you go," jackson nods.
"i, uh, i'm not having a great day," she shrugs, taking a seat next to him on the bed. "i went to see my mom this morning and she didn't know who i was. so i went to see derek, who after further tests, put her on his trial. and i'm not going to pretend that i wasn't hurt by you sending me out of town when your mother was here, and even more hurt when you greeted me by saying 'what are you doing here?'. but... i shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"i'm sorry about your mom," jackson says, wrapping his arms around her. "and i'm sorry i sent you out of town. my mom is a meddler, she interferes with everything- you should have seen her come down on sloan. but i didn't do it because i don't want her knowing i'm with you, it's because i didn't want her to scare you off."
"what?" lia raises her brow at him.
"you are everything my mom dreams of me finding in a girlfriend," he explains. "you're everything i could want in a girlfriend. which means she'd meddle and try to push things onto you like marriage... and babies... and a place of our own."
"you should know by now that i don't scare easy," she chuckles. "i told you that i'm all in, jackson. i was going through my worst today and all i wanted to do was see you."
"i love you."
"i love you too," she smiles before leaning up to kiss him.
- - -
it's the pressure we put on ourselves that's the hardest to bare. the pressure to be better then we already are. the pressure to be better than we think we can be. it never ever lets up. it just builds and builds and builds.
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