"Let her save herself."
Alexa's POV
This was a bad idea. A really bad idea. Because you know its a bad idea if you can actually feel the tension in the room. Cut it with a knife? No, you need a fricking chain saw to plow through this muck.
"I'm really glad you came Alexa."
That was the fourth time Niall told me that in the span of the fifteen terribly horrendously ackward minutes I've been here.
I just smile back this time. I came because..Because I wanted to. I couldn't really explain it to myself. I could only explain the fact that I wanted to.
"I hate how weird this is." I blurted out.
Niall's face fell for moment, but he masked it quickly. "I don't want it to be."
I shook me head. "Me either."
"Do you believe me?"
Wow..Straight to the deep stuff. My stomach lurched.
"I don't know Niall. I really don't know."
I could see the his thoughts moving like clockwork, trying to grasp for the right response. He took a moment before he spoke.
"I have never given you a reason to ever doubt me before. "
Shit. I never thought of that.
"I mean come on Alexa..We barely fought! I mean-" suddenly his face burst out in a full blown grin as he expelled a burst of air, "we were so happy. That was the happiest I think I've ever been in my life."
An amalgam of a million different feelings surfaced with his words. But I couldn't pinpoint any of them.
"I was happy too Niall. Really happy."
"Then why are you letting this bump in the road totally ruin that?"
"I trusted you with everything. I feel like all that trust was just based off a lie. I feel like the lines have blurred and I don't really know how you are feeling."
"How I'm feeling is miserable. Absolute shit all the time. I just- this whole thing Is such a colossal misunderstanding. I didn't even realize what I signed- what it meant till after I had signed the thing and they explained its purpose. I thought I was signing a mutual agreement, that you were also signing that just said we'd get to know each other, with talk and shit about publicity crap later. That's all. It was never this big ploy to scheme and milk you for your money and fame."
Oh.
That did seem to make...some sense.
"Why didn't you tell me that before?"
He threw his hands up in exasperation. "When was I supposed to? You pushed me away and blocked me from every account!"
I couldn't help but giggle. I was overcome with pure giddiness for some stupid reason.
"Okay okay I admit that-"
And I froze.
"What was that?" I asked panicked stricken from the terrible shattering from inside the house.
Was someone trying to break in? Did someone break a window? Was there some scary burglar ready to pounce on us?
I looked to Niall prepared to see him looking just as shaken as me but he looked totally unfazed.
"Niall!"
He shook his head mumbling incoherent words of disapproval.
"Knew this would happen."
My eyes went wide.
"Knew what would?! What is happening? What was that?"
"Harry."
I relaxed, just a little. Happy to know no burglar was about to kill us. "Harry?"
Niall rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Harry has been throwing temper tantrums. All about Ela of course. I knew this one would be bad though."
"Knew?"
"I saw Ela this morning. Really early actually. She spent the night here, like I told you when you got here, but she didn't tell Harry she left. I'm guessing he just found out now.."
Another terrible sound of a crashing was heard from down the hall. And my heart hurt for Harry. He must really be in pain.
"Actually-" Niall's eyes lit up. He must've had an idea. "Yeah. You said you'd talk to him. Remember?"
"Oh. Yeah.." I forgot that the "main" reason I was supposed to have come for was to chit chat with ole Harry. Suddenly though, I grew weiry of dealing with Harry in this state.
I didn't have a choice though. Niall motioned for me to follow and disappeared down the hall.
I groaned inwardly. Curse Ela...
"Harry..You have a, erm, a visitor.."
I poked my head in slowly and cautiously to see a frantic heaving Harry.
"Hi." I mumbled awkwardly stepping one foot inside of the door frame.
He didn't say anything. My eyes trailed over him taking in his jumbled figure. Harry's arm was coated in thick beads of blood. I looked to his left to see the mirror broken with etches of fresh blood.
"Oh geez uhm-" I signaled to his hand, "you're really bleeding there."
He ignored my comment. "Is Ela with you?"
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "No..she isn't. She's just- well she's at home because.."
"Don't lie Alexa. I know she fucking left just to fuck me over." Harry snarled.
"Excuse me?" My shock rode a wave like a new rollercoaster.
"Harry don't get mad at me for this. Ela isn't trying to fuck you over, she doesn't like hurting you."
"Save it-" Harry started but I wouldn't let him finish.
"Listen to me Harry. This isn't about you. You might think it is but it really isn't. Ela is messed up in the head. She has some deep crap in there that's just stuck in there and it effects everything she does. If you really love her as much as you think you do, you will try to understand this. You will try to not take it like this."
"I want to help her Alexa! Don't you understand that!"
"And you think I don't! I'm trying Harry! All of us are trying!"
He shook his head furiously. "I don't know what to do, she doesn't let me in and then-then she came yesterday and-and I should've woke up early or-"
I took two steps forward hoping that less distance between us would make Harry listen to me."Waking up earlier or trying to get Ela to stay will not make a difference Harry. It has to come from Ela herself."
He quieted at my words. I felt good that maybe my point was reaching him. Maybe he understood that the demons attacking Ela were self inflicted. Not one of us could be the cure.
"I want to be the one who saves her. I want her to love me again."
I realized Niall must've left the room and I realized it wouldn't of mattered if anyone else was in the room at the moment. Harry spoke so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.
"And you think saving her will make her love you?"
I took his silence as a yes.
"Hey Harry," I grabbed his uninjured hand and squeezed it making him look me directly in the eye, "she loves you more than anyone in this world. She just told me yesterday. You can't save her. Let her save herself."
He squeezed my hand back tightly, really tightly. It didn't hurt though. His eyes were rimmed with red and glassed over. His lashes started to heavy with the moisture they were collecting.
"Alright. " He whispered. "Okay."