IVYS POV.
As I woke up slightly, I felt someone lift me up.
I saw Ashton picking me up and put me under the duvets of the bed.
"Princess, Get some sleep." He said softly laying next to me.
"What time is it?" I asked groggily as I rubbed my eyes.
"It's 12 am." He said taking his hoodie off and chucked it on the floor.
"Where's Mikey?" I asked as he pulled me close to him.
"He went home. He needed space." Ash said as I nodded and snuggled into him.
"Hey. Luke's coming back tomorrow. I'm taking a girl to get her first tat." He said making me giggle.
"Of course you would." I said sarcastically.
"She's a fan. Head of department. Darcy." He said as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Get some sleep baby. You need it." He whispered as I shut my eyes.
"Ash?" I said yawning.
"Yeah baby?" He asked back as I sat up slightly.
"How did Mikey get home?" I asked as he smiled.
"He got a taxi. He just needed some room ok? He did say goodbye but you were asleep." He said as I nodded.
I nuzzled into him as he held me close and I fell asleep.
LUKES POV
"Mikey isn't himself." Calum said as I sat at the kitchen table.
"I know. I thinks it's just everything happened so fast. We pushed tour back because of it and he's blaming himself." I said as he looked at me confused.
"How do you know that for sure?" Calum asked as I sighed.
"He left his journal open. I kind of read it." I admitted with guilt flooding over me.
"You read it?! Luke! It's confidential to him!" Calum said angrily as I looked down.
"I know. I'm sorry but all the pages are him blaming himself or talking bad about himself. I-I just thought that we could help him." I said as he sighed.
"I guess you're right but you can't just look at his things." He said as he held a pen.
"We need to get these forms sorted for tour." I said as we took a form each.
"Luke?" Calum asked as I looked at him.
"Yeah?"
"What did the journal say?" Calum asked as I sighed.
"Here." I gave it to him.
CALUMS POV
I took it from Luke's hand with hesitation.
I looked at the first page.
It's all my fault. She could have died. I didn't help her. I stood still. I felt paralysed. I hate myself for it. She doesn't deserve me. I can't have her get hurt. Again.
I read another one.
Everybody's got their demons
Even wide awake or dreaming
I'm the one who ends up leaving
Make it okay
See a war, I wanna fight it
See a match, I wanna strike it
Every fire I've ignited
Faded to grey
But now that I'm broken
Now that you know it
Caught up in a moment
Can you see inside?
'Cause I've got a jet black heart
And there's a hurricane underneath it
Trying to keep us apart
I write with a poison pen
But these chemicals moving between us
Are the reason to start again
Now I'm holding on for dear life
There's no way that we could rewind
Maybe there's nothing after midnight
That could make you stay
But now that I'm broken
And now that you know it
Caught up in a moment
Can you see inside?
'Cause I've got a jet black heart
And there's a hurricane underneath it
Trying to keep us apart
I write with a poison pen
But these chemicals moving between us
Are the reason to start again
The blood in my veins
Is made up of mistakes
Let's forget who we are
And dive into the dark
As we burst into color
Returning to life
'Cause I've got a jet black heart
And there's a hurricane underneath it
Trying to keep us apart
I write with a poison pen
But these chemicals moving between us
Are the reason to start again
The blood in my veins
Is made up of mistakes
Let's forget who we are
And dive into the dark
I felt sick. He thought this?
"L-Luke? Ha-have you seen this?" I asked as he snapped his head up.
"What?" He asked as I passed him the book.
He started reading it and his eyes widened.
"Holy shit. He wrote this? We need to talk to him in the morning." He said as I nodded.
"Yeah we have to." I said sighing as he shut the book.
MIKEYS POV
I woke up and felt my stomach turn.
I ran to the bathroom and fell in front of the toilet and threw up.
My head was spinning and my eyes were watering. I felt so paralysed. I couldn't move. My throat burned and my heart raced. I kept throwing up hearing pounding knocks at my door.
"MIKE! MIKEY OPEN UP!" I herd Luke scream as I started coughing.
I stood up shaking and hid the cigarettes, the ashtray and the empty vodka and instantly fell on my knees, shaking as I coughed more.
"MIKE PLEASE! OPEN THE DOOR!" Calum shouted as I held my head in my hands.
My heart pounded and my stomach turned again.
I stood up running to my bathroom and instantly fell right in front of it. I threw up again clutching onto my stomach as I did so.
I herd my lock unlock and my door swing open.
"Mikey. Take it easy. Breathe." Calum said kneeling next to me.
I felt dizzy as I sat up. My body started shaking and I felt roasting. I couldn't help but shake. My sight was blurry and my throat burned.
"Mikey. Drink." Luke said passing me a water bottle.
I drank some water and sat up a small bit instantly falling down again.
"Hey. Take it easy." Calum said as Luke cleaned up.
"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered out. My throat still burning and head still spinning as I sat against my shower.
"Don't be. It isn't your fault." Luke said as Calum passed me a shirt.
"Take a mint. Don't move." Luke said as he passed me a mint and water.
"Thanks." I said weakly still shaking.
"I'm gonna phone Ash, stay here." Calum said as I weakly nodded.
"Mikey?" Luke asked as I looked at him with blurry eyes.
"Y-Yeah?" I asked back weakly.
"Why are you wearing so many bracelets?" He asked sitting next to me.
I froze. I couldn't move. It was like I was stuck in a nightmare I couldn't get out of.
"Michael! Answer me." He shouted angrily making me flinch.
I didn't answer but I pulled my knees close to my chest and lowered my head.
"Mike. Please answer me." He said again as I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
"Michael Gordon fuckin Clifford! Answer me!" He shouted making me look at him with tears rolling down my cheeks.
"We'll just do this the hard way then." He said with a sigh.
He pulled my wrist towards him making me yelp and tried to pull back. I pulled with all of my might hoping he'd loose grip.
"Mike?! Luke?! What's going on?!" Calum shouted running into the bathroom.
"Luke! G-get off of me!" I shouted as he struggled to keep hold of my wrist.
"Mikey! Stay still!" He said breathily as I kept yanking my wrist away.
"N-no! Let-let go!" I shouted as Calum just looked at us.
I cried harder as I tried pulling my wrist away as both him and Calum held onto my arm.
I struggled and twisted around trying to get their hand of my arm but failed.
Luke slipped off me bracelets revealing slits and burn marks. Dozens of them. Small ones and bigger ones as they just gasped.
"Shit. Mikey. Why?" Luke asked as I looked away.
I didn't say anything but i felt tears roll down my cheeks as I felt Luke's fingers graze over the cuts.
"I-I'm sorry. I-I di-didn't- i-I." I was flustered. I couldn't speak.
"Hey. Hush up. We know why Michael." Luke said as I looked at him wide eyed.
"Y-you read i-it didn't y-you?!" I shouted angrily.
"Mikey, you can't keep things from us. You know that. We're like brothers, we always tell each other our problems." Calum said as I just looked.
"I-I know. I-I-I'm sorry. I really am." I
stuttered as Luke sighed.
"It's fine. Don't do it again. Please." Luke said as I nodded.
They helped me up and helped me downstairs.
"Lets watch a movie." Luke said as we sat on the couch.
"Hey. Mikey look at me." Calum whispered as I turned to him.
"I want to talk." He said as Luke picked out a movie.
"Where are you two going?" Luke asked as Calum helped me up.
"I wanna talk with him." Calum said as Luke nodded.
"I'll get some food and stuff." Luke said as we walked out to the back garden.
"W-What did you want to talk about?" I asked as we sat on the grass.
"Well. Y-you I-I um I never thought I'd say this." He said as he looked at me.
"Calum, take your time." I said as he took a deep breath.
"A-after tour." He started.
I nodded signalling him to continue.
"I Well me a-and Ash."
I nodded again as he looked at the ground.
"W-we um we want t-to um.. adopt again." He said as I smiled.
"Why were you so worried? I really think it's a good idea!" I said making him smile.
"I-I just thought that yo- ugh never mind." He said as I picked at the grass.
"Hey. Tell me." I said as he sighed.
"I-I thought you'd take it the wrong way." He said as I giggled.
"I'd never take it the wrong way. But we can't tell Jessie. Our manager." I said as he nodded.
"Yeah. Thanks Mike." He said smiling as I stood up almost falling.
"No problem. Let's get back inside." I said helping him up.
"What you talk about. WHATS THE GOSSIP?!" Luke shouted making me squint.
"Please don't shout Penguin." I said covering my mouth straight away.
"D-did you just call me Penguin?" Luke said a teasing smile on his face.
"That's so cute! Luke's new nickname is now Penguin." Calum said as I covered my face.
"No! I-i didn't. I wa-wasn't." I stuttered making them giggle.
"Mikey! You're so cute!" Luke said as I sat on the couch.
I put my head into my hands hearing them giggle.
"Hey! I think it's cute." Luke said giggling.
"I didn't mean to." I mumbled.
"Really?" Calum said as we turned on the tv.
"Yeah!" I said making them giggle.
"We're watching Spider-Man!" Luke said as he hit play.
Within probably 40 minutes. I was asleep.
Hey! I'm sorry I haven't updated! I'm sick and I'm off school so I'm trying to write as much as possible.
I NEED SUGGESTIONS AND REQUESTS FOR MY IMAGINE BOOK! PLEASE LEAVE THEM HERE!!!!
Lots of 💛 Chloe